Our Little Secret
by Ultrawoman
Summary: COMPLETE! AU Season 4. Spike is starting to notice the Slayer is acting strangely. Buffy herself hasn’t been feeling so good of late. When they both find out the reason, can they keep it to themselves...? [Spuffy]
1. Chapter 1

A/N : I've been re-watching some of Season 4 BtVS of late and I had this crazy idea for a fic. I was going to wait to write it but I just couldn't so here is the first chapter. Not sure yet how long this is going to be, I'm just going to go with it and see what happens. I apologise so much to readers of 'Life's Full of Surprises' and 'Innocence', I promise I will try to write some more on both of those soon, but right now I just have to go where my muse takes me, I hope you understand...

Title : Our Little Secret  
Rating : PG-13  
Spoilers : Season 4.  
Summary : AU Season 4. Spike is starting to notice the Slayer is acting strangely. Buffy herself hasn't been feeling so good of late. When they both find out the reason, can they keep it to themselves...?  
(Timeline-wise this takes place from the end of 4.11 Doomed onwards but it's AU so not all the events of the mid-to-late Season 4 will be included)  
Disclaimer : Joss owns all things BtVS related.

Chapter 1

"I don't know why I let you talk me into this?" the Slayer complained as she strode through the graveyard with Spike at her side. A few hours ago the vamp had realised that despite his inability to hurt humans without a severe pain to the head, he was quite able to beat on demons. All he wanted to do was get out there and kill something, and when Willow and Xander had not been forthcoming he'd called on the Slayer, and Buffy reluctantly admitted she was planning to patrol anyway. She let Spike tag along, figuring he might be useful but really not happy about having to spend time with him. 

Ever since that spell Willow had cast things had been a little weird between them, just little looks and glances, but it bothered Buffy that Spike knew her better now, knew things about her that maybe even her friends didn't know, they'd shared so much during the time of that spell, more than she would like to recall...

"Whats up with you?" the bleached vamp complained, "You plan to kill things, so do I. No reason why we shouldn't keep each other company" he reasoned.

"I don't need your company, and I certainly don't want it" Buffy snapped, wondering how it were possible for him to get her so annoyed so fast. No-one could piss her off quite like Spike could. If she didn't know better she'd say that meant something!

"Y'know your problem Slayer?" he asked, not expecting an answer but getting one anyway.

"Starts with S, ends in pike?" she shot back at him, before spotting a figure in the distance and smiling, "Oh thank God. Demons" she gestured towards two nasty looking horned creatures to their left and Spike grinned as his features shifted into the visage of the demon within.

"Let's do this"

It was a sight to behold as the demons advanced and the two warriors fought back to back to fend off the attack. It wasn't long before Spike had snapped the neck of the demon he was fighting, and he turned to see the Slayer trying her best to kick ass but not doing as well as he would expect. 

Spike had taken on Buffy himself, pre-chip naturally, and she was one hell of a fighter, he had to admit, made evident by the fact that she was the first Slayer to slip through his fingers this many times. That is why the blond vampire frowned so hard, with his human features now, as he watched the battle before him. For every punch and kick the Buffy landed the demon got in two or three and the girls nose was already running with blood.

As much fun as it was to just lean on the nearby tree and watch the Slayer get a good thrashing, Spike was intrigued, if not a little worried, that Buffy couldn't seem to cope with such a simple fight. As the demon threw her to the ground once more and it seemed she wasn't going to get up before it was too late, Spike leapt into action, bringing the demon down with a thump. Buffy hadn't been able to kill the thing but it was clear to the vampire that she'd softened him up a little at least as it didn't take long for him to be 'dispatched' along with his friend. Spike was unsure why he felt the need to white-knight it for the sake of a Buffy, but she was a Slayer and he figured it was just because he wanted the pleasure of taking her life with his own hands one day, when he finally got the stupid chip out of his head.

Standing up to his full height and breathing unnecessarily deeply, Spike turned to see Buffy only just now pulling herself to her feet. Her eyes took in the vampire that frowned at her and the two demons lying on the ground together in a pool of oozing green blood. She closed her eyes, took a couple of deep breaths, but found she couldn't keep it in any longer. She threw up in spectacular fashion, making Spike wrinkle his nose in distaste. He just looked away until he heard her stop heaving over a nearby gravestone, before turning back.

"Well, Slayer" he said with a smirk, "had no idea you were such a poncing light-weight these days"

"You're a pig, Spike" she shot back lamely, "Now, get lost" she began to storm off, though her legs didn't seem too prepared to take her weight. Spike followed her, still intrigued by the whole situation. Not only could Buffy not hold her own in a fight, but she was tossing her cookies at the sight of demon gore and her comebacks were just painfully pathetic. Something was wrong with her, and hey, if he couldn't beat on humans the least he could do was make their life hell in other ways - he owed that to his kind!

Suddenly he was aware that Buffy had stopped walking right in front of him, causing him to bump into her back.

"What is your deal tonight, luv?" he asked with a shake of his head as she turned around with a half angry, half confused look.

"I don't..." she began, "I think I..." her eyes slipped closed as her knees finally gave beneath her and she blacked out. Spike's arms shot out as he reacted on instinct and caught her before she hit the ground. 

Unconscious, supported by nothing but his arms around her, Spike hated himself for the fleeting moment when he thought how beautiful she was, like a fallen angel. He wasn't blind of course, he always knew she was hot, but the way she looked now brought out the poet in him that he'd so like to bury and forget. Her golden hair, her perfect skin, her bright eyes...bright eyes? Hey, weren't they closed a minute ago?

"What the hell are you doing?!" the Slayer tried to yell, but her brain was only half in gear and it came out of more of a groaned complaint.

"Stopping you from bloody well hitting your head on soddin' rocks" he said grumpily, "ungrateful bint" 

She wanted to punch him for that, really wanted to bring back her arm and smack him hard, maybe bust his nose, but Buffy found that every movement, no matter how slight, made another wave of nausea wash over her.

Throughout the day, actually throughout the past couple of weeks, she'd felt sick and wobbly on occasions, but she just put it down to the stress of juggling her Slayer duties with her new college life. Still, Buffy was not accustomed to feeling this amount of illness, the only times she could recall were years ago when she was a little kid, and those two times more recently when Giles was part of a plot to take her Slayer powers away, and then that one time she'd actually ended up in hospital...why was Spike still holding her? her mind suddenly screamed and she did her best to pull away and put her weight back on her own feet. She swayed slightly and swallowed back further sickness and found she could just about manage to walk away with a little dignity.

"Don't ever touch me again" she spat as she turned and exited the graveyard, leaving Spike behind. The vampire sighed and shook his head, that woman would be the death of him. The way things were going, she probably wouldn't even need a stake to do it.

A few metres away, Buffy stumbled out of the graveyard, steadying herself on the gateposts at the exit. She was glad Spike had decided not to follow her, but she hated that she'd had any reason to be close to him. With a deep breath she pulled herself up and made her way back to her dorm room. A good nights sleep was all she needed, maybe a lie-in since she didn't have classes too early tomorrow, that was all she needed she was sure.

__

One week later...

The ringing of the phone woke Buffy with a start, but all sitting up fast seemed to achieve was making her feel like she was going to throw up. Glancing across to Willow's bed she realised the red-head wasn't there, before the harsh ring of the phone reminded her why she was awake in the first place.

"Hello?" she said groggily, pulling the receiver to her ear and flopping back on her bed, the wire barely reaching the distance it was stretched across.

"Hey Buff" Xander's cheery voice greeted her ears, "You feelin' okay?" he checked, "You don't sound so great"

"You just woke me up is all" the Slayer complained, forcing her eyes to remain open and turning slightly to see the clock on the table.

"Buff, I know when friends spend time together their habits rub off on each other but even I get up before one on the afternoon!" the boy laughed as Buffy realised he was telling the truth, the numbers on the clock face finally coming into focus.

"I didn't realise" she said quietly, more to herself than to her friend. Deciding it didn't matter for the time being she asked Xander why he'd called.

"Oh, well, its about my evil dead 'house-guest'" he began, Buffy could almost hear the air-quotes, "he plans on getting his ass out of my place tonight but I have a shift at the pizza place, and since I don't trust the demon not to steal my stuff or just trash the place before he gets lost..."

"You want me to baby-sit the vamp?" Buffy guessed, with an unimpressed sigh. The past week, ever since that incident in the graveyard, she'd managed to avoid Spike most of the time. Now she was forced to spend a certain amount of her evening in his company, him giving her that self-satisfied smirk that he'd seen her weak for a moment, seen her let her guard down, helped her kill a demon that might have killed her if not for him.

"I know it's a lot to ask Buff, I mean you trying to juggle the college thing and the Slay-age, not to mention the new guy in your life..." Xander rambled on as Buffy thought briefly of Riley. He was sweet and kind and admittedly not bad looking, plus he knew about the demon-fighting, he worked for a government organisation that did almost exactly what she herself did, and that should have brought them closer together...but it didn't. She felt further from him because he'd lied and kept things from her, just like Angel had done. Of course she'd been just as secretive, but she felt she had the right - sacred destiny and all.

"Buff?" Xander prompted her for an answer for the third time and with a slight shake of her head the Slayer came back to the present.

"Oh yeah, Xan, sorry" she apologised, "I'll head over to yours as soon as the sun sets, okay?"

"Thanks Buffy" her friend grinned, "I owe you one"

They said their goodbyes and Buffy hung up the phone before flopping back amongst the bed clothes. Her hands landed across her stomach and she frowned, lifting the sheets and inspecting her body. Was she putting on weight? She frowned at the thought. She didn't really get fat or un-fit, one of the better parts of the Slayer deal. As Willow once said, she was naturally buff Buff!

With a shrug and a sigh, Buffy pulled herself out of bed and got dressed, forcing back further feelings of nausea as she checked her schedule and made her way towards her first afternoon class. She'd only missed one lecture that morning and she was pretty sure she could get some notes from a friend and sweet-talk the teacher...at least she hadn't missed Professor Walsh's Psychology class!

Buffy was fairly pleased with herself. She'd managed to get through her afternoon classes, do some extra studying, and make herself look pretty good before she headed over to Xander's place. The plan was to make sure Spike got out without taking Xand's stuff with him, or mindlessly trashing the place just for fun, then she was Bronze-bound for some quality time with her boyfriend. That sounded weird even in her own head. She and Riley had been getting close for a while now and she'd kissed him during that silence thing with the Gentleman. Since then there had been issues, especially when the truth came out about him being an Initiative commando and her being the Chosen One. But she still liked him and he still liked her and the more she thought about dumping him, the more petrified Buffy got. Did she want to be alone? Did she want to be the kind of girl who couldn't make a normal relationship work? Of course not, so she'd accepted what had happened and moved on. 

Two nights ago, on her birthday, there had been some major kissage, on her bed. Obviously she'd been enjoying herself, Riley knew what he was doing, but a part of Buffy found herself comparing his kisses and touches with those of Angel, and a truly disturbing part of her brain reminded her how good it had felt to act that way with Spike just a couple of weeks ago under Willow's 'will be done' spell. Of course, Buffy hadn't actually gotten a choice about how far she went with her Riley because Willow had burst in and dragged them off to a surprise birthday bash, but she was pretty glad they hadn't gone too far just yet. She'd jumped head-first into her relationship with Angel and that had ended badly, then there was the thing with Parker...

Buffy shook her head of all her crazy mixed up thoughts as she arrived at the door to Xander's basement. She knocked once before entering the room to find Xander and Spike yelling at each other.

"That's my radio!" Xander bellowed as Spike held the offending item in his hands, "You're trying to steal my radio?!"

"Yeah, I'm evil" the British vamp replied, looking at the boy as if he were stupid, "What you expected me to not try and nick the half-decent stuff you've got?"

"No, he expected it" Buffy told him as she came in, taking the radio out of his hands as she walked past to stand by her friend, "That's why I'm here"

"Again Buff, I totally owe you one" the brunette gripped her shoulder in a friendly gesture as he pulled on his striped Pizza Palace shirt and left with a wave.

"Alone at last, eh Slayer?" the bleached blond leered, "Seems you've been avoiding me of late"

"I've always tried to avoid you Spike" she told him with a smile full of fake-sweetness, "Part of my plan for not regurgitating my meals" she told him nastily, though she realised her insult was all tied in to the truth. She'd come close to, or had actually thrown up, many times lately, with or without Spikes help!

"Fine, have it your way" the vampire shook his head as he grabbed his cigarettes and lighter from the table, shoving them into the pockets of his duster that hung on the back of the chair.

Buffy watched with disinterest as he checked the pockets through again and looked around the room as if he'd forgotten something - Buffy couldn't think of anything he might be leaving behind, he didn't have a whole lot to begin with.

Suddenly her thought process was interrupted by a bleeping sound and she frowned as she saw Spike head for the washing machine, his back to her.

"What the hell are you doing now?" she asked incredulously, stalking over to him and grabbing his arm to turn him around. 

He scowled as she caught sight of the bottle of fabric softener in his hand.

"When it bleeps I put the stuff in, okay?" he snapped, doing just what he'd said, "What with me having the handicap and all and my only supply of blood coming from the Whelp, I didn't have much choice but to..." Spike's sentence tailed off as he noticed Buffy had her eyes closed and was leaning back against the wall, an unhealthy look on her face.

"You feeling alright, Slayer?" he asked with a frown, "Not gonna chuck again are you?" he checked with a distasteful shudder, he'd seen quite enough of her insides in the graveyard last week.

"I'm fine" she lied, the smell of the fabric softener making her stomach turn. It was strange, she realised since she usually loved that spring fresh fragranced stuff, just like her Mom always used, but right now it was really making her feel...she swallowed hard and lowered herself to the floor, head resting on her bent knees as she leant her back against the wall.

Spike wasn't entirely sure what was going on, but he didn't trust the Slayer right now. She was acting weird and he was practically helpless if she turned on him. Cautiously he recapped the bottle in his hand and put it down, gingerly walking over to Buffy and crouching down in front of her.

"Buffy?" he prompted a reaction from her but didn't seem get one, neither of them really paid attention to the fact he'd actually used her name for once, "You okay, luv?" he checked again, slightly surprised by the fact that it bothered him. He guessed he just didn't like the idea of her popping off of her own accord when he wanted to be the one to end her days, same as when that demon tried to take her down in the graveyard last week. Yeah, that had to be what it was.

"I'm fine, really" her voice was small when her head finally rose slightly and she tried to drag herself to her feet, still lying about how well she really felt. Spike backed up sharply as she got to her feet and stepped forward. He still wasn't entirely sure that this wasn't some kind of trap, a trick of some sort that ended with his getting decidedly dusty.

"Get out of my way, Spike" Buffy ordered weakly as she walked forward. With nowhere much to go in the cluttered basement and her wobbling from side-to-side as she moved, the vampire had no choice but to back up, eventually tripping on the edge of the table and landing in the chair he'd been sleeping in these passed few days.

Putting a hand to head, feeling suddenly more dizzy than she even had before, Buffy pitched forward and fell in a dead faint - right on top of Spike.

For a moment he considered pushing her off. He didn't want some filthy Slayer on him...but she was still a woman and despite the demon within he was still a man. She was warm and soft against him, and memories of being this close to her before flooded into his mind - the effects of Red's spell a couple of weeks back. Though he'd never admit it to anyone but himself, those few hours, believing he was in love and getting married, were the happiest he had ever known.

Coming back to the present, Spike carefully manoeuvred the Slayer on top of him so he could sit up, cradling her unconscious form on his lap. She looked so peaceful, he'd wager she didn't get a lot of quiet time being all Chosen and everything. 

In the silence of the room he could hear just her even breathing and the constant thump of her beating heart. Daring to hold her a little tighter, just to feel that closeness again, he realised there was a third sound coming from inside of her. It was very faint and barely audible but with his vampire hearing, being so close to her, and having such quiet surroundings, meant Spike was able to hear this tiny sound, like a tapping at high speed. With a gasp he looked up at the Slayers face, wondering if she had any idea that two hearts beat within her. She was carrying a child.

To Be Continued...

A/N2 : Good idea? Bad idea? Please let me know what you think so far! :-)


	2. Chapter 2

A/N : Wow, I had no idea this fic would be so popular! 39 reviews on just the first chapter! So here is a big thanks to everyone who reviewed, deep breath for this lot; fischergirl, zanthinegirl, Mari, kori hime, Spuffyfan4eva, Bridget, rubi-elektra, rrca, uandme4eternity, Lady Starlight, B/S Rox, Samolly, Willow Fireheart, Harm Maries, Tharpdevenport, Azrielle, Kimberly, Thursday Next, sunnyhell, helaine, adpi24, Spikes-gal787, Mita427, BunnyKat, Selena , Freezyboncoolipants, Alec Star, Moluvsnumber17, kate, Spuffy-Fan, RedsLover03, artemis moonshine, Rachel, AraelMoonchild, SouthernRain, Cocktailpk, msu, MaidenRo, tink36. I really hope I didn't miss anyone out. All the questions you had will be answered, all the ideas you had may or may not appear, but all this in good time. Methinks we have a long way to go yet...

(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 2

When Buffy opened her eyes she wasn't entirely sure where she was. In front of her Spike paced up and down the room and she suddenly remembered what was going on. She'd passed out in Xander's basement whilst she should have been making sure Spike left quietly. But why had she passed out again?

"You're awake" Spike commented pointlessly, finally standing still and looking down at her still lying on the chair, "Was beginning to think you'd sleep the night away"

"What did you do to me?" Buffy asked, looking around warily as she immediately took up a seated but defensive type stance.

"I didn't do anything you daft bint" he complained at having been accused, "Cute little government chip stuffed up my brain, remember?" he gestured to his own head and Buffy was just sick of playing games. Her eyes darted around as if checking the place for traps and Spike rolled his eyes.

"What is it you think I've done?" he asked her loudly, "Wired up the place while you were out of it so you can't leave without getting fried? Or maybe you think I've got a couple of demon mates hidden behind the door to do you over for me when you try to leave? News flash, pet" he said right in her face, "My world does not revolve around you"

"I've had enough of this" she shook her head as she stood up, thankfully feeling quite a bit better now, "Just get out already!" she yelled.

"I got something to say first" he shouted back angrily, standing right up close to her. Determined not to back down and look weak for a third time in his presence, Buffy stood toe-to-toe with the vampire, knowing he couldn't physically harm her at least.

"Then say it" she said dangerously low, "and get the hell out of this place and my life"

Standing there, looking down on her from his few inches of extra height, Spike was struck by how young this girl looked, how young she truly was. Just nineteen years old and already she'd taken on the world and won more than once, both with his help and without, but now she was taking on a whole different world and he guessed that she probably had no idea, he'd have heard about it otherwise.

"Buffy" he said stance and face softening along with the tone of his voice, "did you know that you're pregnant, luv?"

He waited for a reaction, unsure whether it would be tears of a smack in the face or something else. It turned out to be the last thing he would have expected - she laughed.

"Oh that is just..." she choked out through breath-stealing giggles, "Is this part of some master plan to make me laugh myself to death cos that has to be the funniest and possibly stupidest thing I ever heard" she continued to force out her sentence around hearty chuckles that just wouldn't stop coming.

"I'm glad you find it so bloody amusing!" Spike yelled over the din of her laughter, "But you'll be laughing on the other side of your face in a few months time when you have to force the sprog out of you!"

Buffy stared up at his face and the look on it sobered her up. He seemed so serious, and suddenly things started to make sense. The feeling faint, the throwing up, the feeling that she may have put on a couple of pounds in the stomach area.

"This can't be happening" she said flatly, turning to stare at a spot on the wall that wasn't there" tears of shock and terror formed where those of laughter had been just moments before a she sank back down to sit on the edge of the chair.

"Look at the evidence, pet" Spike implored her, "The fainting, the heaving...not to mention the fact you haven't bled since I've been here" he added the last part, more quietly, almost loathed to admit that he knew.

"What?!" she gasped suddenly and he was unsure whether she was shocked by what he'd said or if she just didn't understand. He decided to make his answer cover both forms of the question.

"I'm a vampire, pet, blood is my thing. When it's coming from a person I know about it. I've been back in Sunnyhell for weeks now, seen you almost everyday til these past few, and I know you haven't..."

"Just stop!" Buffy interrupted, wrinkling her nose in disgust and holding up a hand to silence him, "I don't need to hear this from you!"

"Yes you bloody do!" he yelled back, "Even if you don't accept the rest of it" he pointed a finger at her fiercely "you can't argue with a living heart-beat and you've got two inside of you, I heard them!"

Buffy's eyes went wide as one hand landed automatically on her stomach. Spike had heard a second heartbeat from within her, and as much as she hated it, she knew he was right when he said she hadn't had a period in while. She felt stupid for not realising quite how long it had been, but her body often got itself all out of synch and she'd been so stressed out lately, she'd just put everything, all her 'symptoms' down to that. The only other option was that Spike was telling the truth, and she truly was pregnant.

"But it's impossible, how can I be?" she rambled more to herself than to him but he answered her anyway.

"You're a big girl, and your pregnancy won't affect your memory. Don't tell me you need a diagram, luv" Spike smirked, earning himself that smack in the face he'd been due for a while. Buffy couldn't take all this in. She admitted to herself that it made sense but she and Riley hadn't gone far enough to make a baby yet and the only other person she'd slept with was...

"No, oh God no, no, no, not you, it can't be" she stammered out as she got to her feet, shaking her head and gaping at the vampire in disbelief. Spike wiped the blood from his nose with the back of his hand and shook his head too.

"We both know I can't" he snapped, wondering why it hurt to admit that. It's not as if he wanted to be fathering the Slayer's offspring, but it did feel a little less than manly when he had to bring up the issue of his firing blanks.

He was fairly surprised that she'd even mention their little time together, it had just been the once, well technically twice. They'd snuck into Giles' bedroom when he'd fallen asleep on the couch and then...Spike had never felt anything like the feelings she'd evoked in him, as they touched and kissed and made love, because that was what it had been, not just shagging like it'd been with others, they really had been in love. But it was all a spell and now it was over and there were bigger things to think about.

Spike shook his head to clear his thoughts and focused his eyes back on the Slayer who now had her head in her hands, rocking back and forth slightly on the chair. She was crying he realised, as he bent down to her level, residual feelings from the spell of a couple of weeks ago and memories from right now making him act more kindly than he would have usually.

"Pet, it must be your boys" he told her gently as he could, there was enough wooden stuff in the basement to sink a battle cruiser and he really didn't fancy a sharp pointy piece through his chest just because he wasn't polite enough to a hormonal Slayer, "It must be Riley's"

"It's not" she sobbed, the truth having dawned on her moments ago during Spike's bout of thoughtful silence, "it can't be, we haven't..." she seemed totally oblivious to whom she was divulging her secrets but right now all she could think of was the fact she was having a baby, and that she was going to have to tell her friends, and Giles, and her mother! And worse than all that, the father of the child, for whom there was only one candidate left.

"Oh bugger" Spike looked heavenward and sighed, "Someone up there has really got it in for you, don't they goldilocks?" she didn't move or say a word as Spike got back to his feet, "It's that stupid lunk-head you jumped the night before we fought, ain't it?"

"Parker" Buffy spat, "he's the only one" she added sadly, head still down, face hidden in her hands. It had been bad enough when she'd slept with him, only to be told the next day that it had all been for fun and that in the grand scheme of things she meant no more to him than one good night of passion. She'd tried to put it out of her head and move on, it had taken a while but she was finally dealing. Now she had a permanent reminder of what an idiot she'd been, inside her was a child made of herself and a man she'd come to loathe.

"I'm such an idiot" she started to cry again and Spike wasn't sure what to say or do next. He ought to be laughing at the pathetic-ness of the Slayer's situation, rejoicing in the fact she was emotional broken now and in a few months time would be in all kinds of glorious techni pain as she brought her squalling brat into the world. But he couldn't laugh, not when she was sitting there sobbing her heart out. He couldn't love the idea of her pain like he should, and he knew at least one of the reasons why.

Dru always had a thing for children. She used to reckon the blood tasted sweeter because they were pure, like sherbet and candy floss and such. Spike himself never had the stomach for it. Despite the demon within, the idea of slaughtering children, draining the life from such helpless and purely innocent beings, it made his stomach tighten to the point where he couldn't even consider feeding. Angelus would go with Dru when she fancied a tasty toddler and he'd find himself a grown up to play with.

There'd been once or twice when she'd had one of her crazy idea moments and tried to turn the kids she fed from - that never worked out. Child vamps were even more twisted and frightening than adults in some ways. Spike didn't like to think about it, even now.

"Er, I was supposed to be going" he stammered, picking up his coat and putting it on, checking one final time that he had everything important in the pockets - cigarettes, lighter, car keys, ridiculously small amount of cash, a couple of photos...he mentally went through his list and nodded to himself when he found every item present and correct, "Guess I'll see you around, Slayer" he attempted to be nonchalant and uncaring as he strode over to the door, leaving Buffy sobbing into her hands, but he couldn't help staring at her just a little longer than was necessary before he left.

As the door clicked shut behind the vampire, the Slayer seemed to come out of some kind of daze. She looked around the basement, rubbing at her eyes and cheeks with the backs of her hands. Spike had left and she'd barely noticed, not that his stealing of Xander's stuff was the highest priority in her mind right now.

Her mind was whirring with so many scary thoughts. What would her friends say when they found out she was having Parker's baby? Willow might be okay, Xander was always hard to figure, Giles would be disappointed in her and her mother would be worse. Angel would hit the ceiling, after he'd finished passing out from shock, and then there was Riley, what the hell was she supposed to say to him? And the father of the child himself, that was a whole other thing to deal with. Could she continue to slay in her condition? Should she? What would happen with her studies and college?

Upstairs a bottle hit the wall and shattered. Xander's parents were having another drunken bout, the yelling started up right after the crash of the glass, and soon there was the slamming of doors and general cursing filtering through the ceiling above her.

Buffy couldn't think in this place, she needed to get away. Pulling herself up she ran out of the door and pounded down the street. Willow had said she might not come home tonight and Buffy only hoped that were true. She needed to be alone to think right now, though she doubted it would do any good. She'd got herself into an awful mess and no amount of thinking was going to fix it, no amount of crying either, but as she entered her dorm room and collapsed on her bed, she knew she hadn't cried her last tears for tonight, not even close. 

To Be Continued...

A/N2: Still like it? Let me know and I'll try to write more asap, but I think I should also write some more on my other WIPs too!


	3. Chapter 3

A/N : I've hurried along with this chapter since so many people were eager to read it, I hope this story continues to meet the expectations of all you wonderful reviewing people! Thanx to; zanthinegirl, kori hime, Moonglow13, candy, fischergirl, theresa, Azrielle, Bunny, little-lost-one, Silent Rush, Red Wulf, Hieiko, sammie, wicked-angel3, spikewuvsbuffy, helaine, Rachel, adpi24, sunnyhell, Jovial, Courtney37, hells child, Spunkles, Freezyboncoolipants, cynthia, Ann, MaidenRo, Buffy Fan, Samolly, AraelMoonchild, JadedxVampire21, aphelant, sacha, kate, Lady Starlight, SouthernRain, Bridget, Moluvsnumber17, rubi-elektra. I can't beleive this fic is so popular, and to think I considered not writing it, or at least not for a while, I was going to finish my others first. Oh well, must go where the muse tells me. Hope you like this chapter :-)

(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 3

A week passed and still Buffy carried her child and her secret. She'd taken a total of five pregnancy tests, five different brands from five different drug stores, but every single one gave the same result. She was pregnant, and the only possible candidate for the father was a louse called Parker Abram's that had spun her line and used her for a one night stand.

So far she hadn't found a way to tell her friends or family about this, not even her boyfriend, though she was sure some of the gang were suspicious that something weird was going on. Buffy had been waking up and going to bed with terrible nausea and she'd almost knocked Willow off her feet one morning as she barrelled past to the bathroom to vomit.

On various occasions Giles, Xander, Willow, Riley, they'd all asked her if she was feeling okay when she'd half fallen asleep or looked a little pale whilst researching or sitting in class or at the Bronze. She'd lied out-right and said she was fine, just stressed out or didn't sleep well last night or whatever, anything to get them off her case. She'd also avoided visiting her Mom for fear of having one more person questioning her.

She figured out from her calendar she must be almost three months into pregnancy. She was just starting to show, which so far hadn't been much of a problem, since it was barely a bump and she just wore her baggier clothes most of the time.

The other thing that it meant was she'd pretty much run out of time if she wanted to abort the child, but even knowing it had been formed by such an alliance as it had, Buffy felt there was no way she could get rid of her baby. It might be a part of Parker but above and beyond that it was a part of herself and she wasn't going to let it go.

These past seven days, she'd avoided patrol, hoping the Initiative was doing what it was supposed to be, in ridding Sunnydale of it's demon population. Part of the reason was because of the baby, she didn't want to get into a situation where it might be harmed, but she had to admit another large reason was a certain vampire named Spike.

The only other being in the whole world that knew she was pregnant and it was one of her sworn enemies. Okay so Spike had fought on her side more than once and he was handicapped these days, but she hated the fact he knew her secret, when even her boyfriend had no idea.

Poor Riley, Buffy did feel so bad for the way she'd been around him lately. She was less that willing for him to touch her since she found out she was carrying a child, firstly for fear of his realising she was slightly bigger than a few months ago and second because she wasn't sure if getting physical with him might damage the baby. To be honest, she didn't know much about being pregnant. Of course there had been what she'd heard in sex ed class and her mother had sat her down and given her the whole contraception speech but no-one ever gave her a lecture on how to cope if you found out you were pregnant - no-one ever expected it to happen like this, least of all Buffy herself.

So many thoughts were spinning around in her head, mostly about the baby but also worries about Riley and his situation with the Initiative - there was definitely something weird going on with them. Professor Walsh now knew she was the Slayer and had said she wanted Buffy to visit the operation beneath the college. She wanted to run tests, see how the Slayer functioned, combine the skills of the government institution and the Chosen One. So far Buffy had managed to avoid it all by avoiding the Professor and even Riley to a certain extent. How could she have physical tests when she was trying to keep her bodies biggest secret just that? She still attended Psychology class but always snuck in and out amongst crowds of other students, hoping not to be noticed too much, so far she'd been managing pretty well.

Tonight, Riley was with out his fellow commandos, Willow was over at her new friend Tara's and Buffy was alone in her dorm room. Alone meant quiet and that meant more time to think scary baby-related thoughts. Sometimes she really wanted to tell someone, mostly Willow who she was pretty sure would sympathetic, or maybe her Mom, or Giles since he'd been feeling so out of the loop lately, but when it came to the crunch she always bottled out, too afraid of someone voicing what she already thought herself - she'd been an idiot and she deserved all she got.

In frustration the Slayer decided to do what her destiny said she must - go kill evil things. Just a quick sweep of the nearest cemeteries shouldn't be too dangerous, if she was careful and didn't try anything too dangerous for her body and her baby. Staking some evil undead fiends was just what Buffy needed right now, it'd take her mind off things for a little while - something had to, or she was gonna go crazy!

- - - - - - - - -

The night was going pretty well. So far Buffy had fought and staked two fledgling vamps without much trouble at all. She was beginning to think it might be time to call it a night when a strange tingle shot down her spine. Another vampire was close by, behind her. Concentrating, the Slayer spun around and reached out an arm to grab a shadowed figure by the throat as he ventured around the side of a crypt.

"Slayer" the vampire smirked, not at all bothered that Buffy had a hand to his throat and a stake to his heart "it's been a while"

"Not long enough" she complained, letting go of him and stepping back "I thought you'd left town, Spike"

"Cried for my loss did you, pet?" he asked, raising a scarred eyebrow as he pulled out a cigarette and lit it "Don't fret, sweetheart" he said, blowing out smoke, "I'm not leaving good old Sunnyhell til I get this lump of brain-frying silicon out of my cranium" he told her, pointing to his head. Buffy smiled sweetly as she replied;

"You have to have a brain in order to get it fried" she turned to walk away but Spike wasn't ready for her to leave yet, he was having too much fun.

"Ooh, Slayer" he almost laughed "See the pregnancy's done nothing for your verbal fighting skills"

"Get lost, Spike" she said, spinning on her heal, raising her stake once again "or I swear to God..."

"Hey now, calm down" Spike urged her, casually leaning back on the crypt wall as he smoked his cigarette "Shouldn't let yourself get so worked up, not in your condition" the smirk that adorned his face had to be the most annoying expression he owned, Buffy thought fleetingly as she got more and more frustrated.

"You...you don't know anything!" she yelled, with a dramatic gesture. Spike didn't seem at all bothered by her outburst. He enjoyed sparring with the girl, and if the only way to do that these days was verbally, well then he'd make do with that.

"You'd like to think so, wouldn't you, pet?" he said, dropping the butt of the cigarette on the ground and crushing it beneath his boot "But I'll bet I'm still the only one who knows about your nibblet" he gestured towards her stomach and Buffy's arm wrapped itself around her middle of it's own accord.

"Don't you ever shut up!" she complained, knowing he couldn't harm her but feeling strangely protective of the child inside of her. She hated that he was right about her not telling anyone else about her pregnancy, but there was no way she was admitting that. She didn't need to, her lack of argument was all the answer he needed.

"I'm right, aren't I?" he took great delight in realising "You haven't even told Joyce, have you? Or Red or the Whelp? Not even dear old Rupes?" he'd been walking toward her this whole time and now stood just inches away "Tut-tut Slayer" he shook his head and wagged his finger at her "Don't you trust your mates to be supportive...but then like I said to Angel" he sighed "it is a little slutty to be sleeping with the very first idiot that tries it on"

Buffy's fist reacted before her brain or anything else did, her knuckles connecting with the bridge of Spike's nose, making blood flow down the vampire's face.

"Hey!" Spike yelled as he reeled back, clutching his probably broken nose "That bloody hurt! Bitch!"

The Slayer advanced on him, stake raised, she'd had enough of this, for tonight at least. Spike backed up, knowing he couldn't hit her back without making his newly acquired headache ten times worse, and he soon found his back against the crypt wall again, Buffy just an inch or two away with a stake pressed to his breast-bone.

"Now listen to me, and listen good, Spike" she said in a low voice that he didn't know she possessed "I've cut you some slack, given your handicap and all, but you keep this up, the smart-ass comments, the attitude problem, you might find yourself meeting a very dusty end"

'Is it wrong,' Spike wondered 'that I am totally turned on by this?'

He didn't get a chance to think of an answer to his own question as his eyes flitted up from her gaze to beyond her shoulder.

"Duck" he said simply, making Buffy frown.

"What?" she asked him in confusion and then her world went black. Again she was unconscious, again she landed in Spike's arms who caught her easily, as a Belua demon stood in her place, roaring loudly. The vampire took a chance, hoisting the Slayer higher in his arms, freeing up some room to bring up his leg and kick the demon where he assumed it would be painful. Thank God this type of nasty had it's balls in the obvious place!

Spike took the opportunity to lay Buffy on the ground to the side of the crypt before turning back to face the demon. He vamped out, screaming a war cry as he launched himself forward. The fight was on, but not for long. Despite the demon being larger and nastier looking than the vampire, he did not have as much strength or skill. Within moments it was on the ground, a beaten mess of green flesh and purple blood. Running a hand back through his hair to remove the demon's slimy blood, Spike shifted out of game face and strolled over to Buffy, still out cold on the ground. Wiping his hands on his black jeans, he crouched down beside her and reached a hand out to her face. Again he was struck by her beauty and the angelic innocence that she possessed as she peacefully slept. Listening intently he heard her hearts regular thump and that tiny little sound that her stomach was emitting. Both mother and child were still alive and for reasons Spike couldn't begin to explain, he was relieved.

Still, he considered leaving her there. Maybe some other nasty would come and finish her off before the night was out, or maybe those Soldier boys would capture her and shove a chip up her brain so she could no longer beat on him. The more he thought about all the horrible fates that could befall her, the more protective Spike felt over the girl, the constant thud of her heart and patter of the child's acting as a background rhythm for his strange thoughts and feelings.

With a shake of his head, not really understanding why he was doing it, Spike scooped the Slayer up in his arms and carried her into the crypt, laying her down on the stone sarcophagus that had served as his bed these passed few nights.

Realising his precious coat had also suffered in the fight with the Belua demon, Spike slipped off the leather item and hung it over another coffin across the room. As he returned, Buffy started to stir. He leaned over her, hands resting on the edge of the stone coffin as she opened her eyes, one hand going straight to her head.

"What is it with you and blacking out on me, Slayer?" he asked with a smirk. Seemingly not yet sure of where she was or what was happening, Buffy made no quick movements.

"What hit me?" she asked sluggishly, eyes flickering open and closed as her hand clutched her aching skull.

"That would be a rather nasty bugger called a Belua demon" Spike informed her as he watched her try to sit up. Wary of her as she moved, he backed up a step.

"Ohh..." she groaned as she finally got into a sitting position and her eyes focused to the light, or lack thereof "Where the hell am I?" she gasped, seeing the place for the first time.

"My new digs" Spike said simply, arms spread wide, encouraging her to take in the whole room "It's just a crypt but it's home, as of yesterday anyway" he shrugged when she looked unimpressed.

"It's gross" she grimaced, swinging her legs over the side of the sarcophagus and wondering if putting her feet on the ground was a good idea yet.

"Hey, do I come to your home and make nasty remarks?" the vampire snapped, sounding decidedly offended. Buffy sighed in frustration.

"I wouldn't let you into my home, Spike" she reminded him, thinking now it was best to try to stand and at least walk out of the door without stopping - anything just to get away from the annoyance known as Spike!

"You did before" he tilted his head as he observed her placing her feet on the ground, seeming to test her weight on her legs.

"That was different" she shrugged, still watching her lower limbs as she stood up and found she only swayed very slightly.

"Seem more than willing to let just about anyone into your home" Spike observed, another smirk itching to form on his lips as Buffy walked passed him "and into your bed" he added the smirk breaking forth as the Slayer turned back too fast and almost knocked herself over. Spike's hand shot out to steady her but she knocked it away.

"Easy Slayer" he threw his hands up in mock-surrender "it was just a joke. God your wound bloody tight lately, must be your soddin' hormones or something" he complained as she put her hand back to her head.

"What is with your obsession with my pregnancy?" she asked wearily, just inches from the door "It's not like you know anything about it"

"I'll bet I know more than you do" he shot back, almost nastily as he fumbled in the pockets of his lately discarded duster for another cigarette.

"Exactly how many pregnant women have you taken care of Spike?" Buffy crossed her arms over her chest as she faced up to him. He kept his back to her as he looked for the cigarettes that he would never find - he'd smoked the last one just moments ago.

"One" she heard him quietly reply "my mother"

"Your mother?" the Slayer repeated in disbelief, wondering if she heard him correctly, or maybe he was lying, but why would he?

"When I was alive, obviously" the vampire told her, giving up in his task of looking for fags, instead fiddling with the lighter in his hands "Dad passed on when I was just a little bit, seven years old, Mum found out two weeks later she was gonna have another kid" his eyes remained mostly on the silver coloured item on his hands, only occasionally flitting up to catch the Slayers gaze.

"So then your poor mother had to put up with two pains in the ass instead of just you?" Buffy showed her own version of a smirk, arms still folded. She wasn't buying this crazy talk, not from Spike...but he did look kinda genuine.

"No" Spike said not quite nastily, his gaze locking onto hers now, almost scaring her "my sister barely lived long enough to see the sun rise once" he said coldly, the ice blue of his eyes almost cutting her in two. Buffy shivered involuntarily.

"I'm sorry" she said softly when he finally looked away. He may be a monster now but once he was a human being and he'd lost a tiny baby sister when he was just a child himself. Again one of Buffy's arms slipped down to her middle, where the barely existed child resided.

Spike said nothing, the Slayer guessed he was embarrassed by his confession or maybe just saddened by the memory...but vampires couldn't feel, could they? Not without a soul, at least that's what she'd always been told. Could Giles and the Watchers possibly have been wrong? If she didn't know better Buffy would say yes.

"I should really go..." she said quietly as she exited the crypt, the sound of the door banging behind her catching Spike's attention.

He really wasn't sure what had made him tell her that, about his mother and his sister. From the day it happened to now he'd never spoken of it to another being, and had never intended to, least of all sharing his past with a Slayer! But Buffy was different, he'd known that from the first moment he'd laid eyes on her, and now she was carrying a child, another fact that set her apart from other Slayer's he'd met. What was really bothering Spike was why he felt so protective of her ever since he found out.

"Soddin' chips trying to turn me into a nancy-boy" he complained to himself, as he set about cleaning his precious coat.

Outside the door Buffy had only just now managed to find the strength to walk. The thump to her head had made her feel bad enough but hearing Spike talk about the family he had as a human, that had really messed with her mind. She'd always thought vampire's weren't really the human's they looked like, just a demon that takes that persons face, but Spike had memories, and more than that he seemed to have feelings. She shook her head, telling herself it was ridiculous to think of him as anything more than a worthless demon, but she just couldn't help it. She'd seen a glimpse of the man behind the monster, and it was scary to realise that she almost liked him.

To Be Continued...

A/N2: Still good? or not? Let me know! Review, please!


	4. Chapter 4

A/N : Y'know I've yet to figure out how this story got so popular! Not that I'm not totally grateful for the 111 reviews! But there have only been 3 chapters and I don't think I've ever gotten so many reviews so fast! Thank to; adpi24, kori hime, little-lost-one, rubi-elektra, Bunny, Moluvsnumber17, SweetBitter, Hieiko, Selena Style, fischergirl, JadedxVampire21, Rachel, tink36, msu, roxxanne, nimacu, helaine, Kim, MaidenRo, Kari Mouke, hmm, cynthia, Freezyboncoolipants, SinisterChic Heather Martin, Moonglow13, artemis moonshine, ms trick, sammie, Bridget, hells child, julkat007, Spuffyfan4eva, Samolly. I really appreciate all the comments, and hope you continue to enjoy the story. Here's chapter 4...

(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 4

Buffy went out patrolling again the night after her little meeting with Spike, not really for the staking of undeads but more just to see the one vamp that was proving to be so different to the rest, and without the aid of a soul.

Buffy had felt so bad for Spike as he'd talked about his mother when he'd been human, and the loss of his baby sister who barely lived to be a day old. It made her think more seriously about the vampire, and the man he used to be. It also made her think about her own child differently.

At first, when she'd found out she was pregnant, the Slayer had serious doubts. Surely it was a bad thing to be having a child at nineteen, after a one night stand with a louse of man. She still believed it wasn't the smartest thing but she had a life inside of her now, a being that was a living part of her, that would one day be a person. It was incredible when she thought about it that way, and the idea of being a mother, although scary, was also a beautiful thing. More than that, it was a thing that not every woman would get to experience.

Buffy had to admit that what Spike had told her made her worry too. Life was fragile, and not just hers, but the life of her child too. What if the fate of William's little sister befell her baby? That thought seemed to scare her more than any demon, vampire, or apocalypse she'd ever faced.

For reasons she didn't understand at all, Buffy felt that if she could just talk to Spike again, maybe they would both feel better about their situations. It couldn't make things any worse, she reasoned, and he really was the only one she could talk to about her pregnancy right now, the only one that knew the truth.

"Spike?" the Slayer called as she let herself into his crypt. She'd stood outside the door for a while, wondering whether she was supposed to knock or whatever, or even if she should be doing this at all. Eventually she just decided to walk in.

"Slayer" he looked dubiously at her as he got up from his newly-stolen arm-chair, "Wondered how long you'd stay standing outside that door before you got the courage to bust in" he smirked, sensing her there for the past ten minutes. Buffy immediately regretted coming here.

"Why did I bother?" she said more to herself than to him, before speaking more loudly, "Y'know I actually came here cos I felt bad for you, because I thought..." she stopped short and sighed "It doesn't matter, I should've known better" she turned to leave, frustatred by behaviour that she should have expected from him and would have done, if not for last night.

"I don't need your sympathy, luv" he called after her, "anymore than you need mine"

She turned back from the door to look at him, anger subsiding slightly. He was such a liar.

"It's not all about sympathy, Spike" she told him. He looked at her strangely then.

"So, what is it all about?" he wanted to know, "Tell me the reason why the mighty Slayer is hanging around her mortal enemies digs on a Saturday night"

"First of all" she half-smiled as she slammed the crypt door closed and headed back in, "you're not a mortal, second you're not so much an enemy these days, and third..." her voice trailed away as she took her gaze from his, looking down at the floor, "I don't really know why I'm here"

Spike just stared at her as she in turn stared at the ground by her feet. He didn't know why she was there either, not really, and more than that he had no idea why he was glad she'd come back.

"Maybe you're here cos no-one else knows what I do" he guessed and her head snapped up at that. He was right of course but she hated to admit it.

"Maybe" she grudgingly agreed, a hand going to her stomach of it's own accord, causing her slight bump to become much more obvious as she pressed the fabric of her baggy T-shirt against it.

"Can't hide it forever, pet" Spike commented, "Sooner or later little sprog's gonna make itself known, in more ways than one"

"It's getting harder to hide" she admitted, "The worst part is I don't really know what to expect" she sighed, "I found a book in the library but I was too scared to check it out...I don't want anyone to know how stupid I've been..." her voice cracked as tears flowed down her cheeks. Her hormones were getting the better of her lately and she'd cried a couple of times for no real reason.

Her hands came up to wipe her face free of tears, but no sooner were they gone but more replaced them. It only took one small thing to set her off crying but then it was like a tidal wave as everything seemed worthy of tears.

Spike looked over at her awkwardly, wondering what he was supposed to do. What were you supposed to do when someone was crying like this? He used to like watching girls cry, used to like to be the cause of their tears, but all he felt now as he watched the Slayer sob was a sharp pain in his heart.

"Hey, come on now, Slayer" he said awkwardly, "No need for that" she continued to cry as if she hadn't even heard him and tentatively he stepped forward and reached one arm around her to rub her back. Needing a little comfort from someone who seemed to understand, Buffy stepped forward, till his arm was completely around her. Without thinking he wrapped his other arm around her too, holding her against him as she cried into his chest.

Spike did feel a little ridiculous, standing there in the middle of a crypt, his arms wrapped around a sobbing pregnant Slayer, but it also felt strangely right and very familiar. Of course, his mind was taking a trip back to that spell, when all he'd wanted to do was get as close to this girl as possible and she'd wanted the same thing. To love and to be loved, it was a wonderful feeling that he hadn't really experienced until then and all the time it had been a soddin' spell! Now though, this girl was willingly in his arms and he was strangely happy to have her there.

They stood there a while, not moving at all, and even when Buffy's tears subsided she didn't pull away. Spike carefully manoeuvred her further into the crypt towards the chair but there was no way she was gonna let go of him. With no other choice, he sat down himself, taking her with him and seating her on his lap.

This was way too much like that spell, not just the situation of her sitting on top of him but the feelings she was causing in him. He had this strange need to protect her from the world, the baby too, and he almost thought he...liked her?

"What am I supposed to do now?" she asked flatly, her head on his shoulder.

"I dunno, luv" he admitted, only half aware that she'd asked a question, he was so wrapped up in being confused by his own thoughts and feelings, "Maybe you should tell your Mum or something?" he suggested.

He'd always liked Joyce. The woman had spirit and fight in her, which he assumed was why Buffy was the same. The first time he'd met Mrs Summers she smacked him over the head with a fire axe! But then she was the motherly sort too, talking to him, giving him hot chocolate and sympathy, after Dru had dumped him for that bloody Chaos Demon. Spike thought she'd probably go a little crazy when she found out her nineteen year old daughter was just over three months pregnant by some wanker she'd only slept with once, but after the initial shock, he was pretty certain she'd be supportive about it.

"I can't" Buffy answered eventually, "She's away, at a gallery thing, til next Saturday"

"So, you'll tell her when she gets back" Spike suggested, "It won't be that bad, luv" he assured her as he made her sit up straight and look at him, "Your Mum, she's the decent sort"

"I guess you're right" she sighed, wiping her face with her hands, brain still not registering that she was sitting on Spike's knees, "I mean, she wasn't too shocked when I told her I was gonna marry you" she actually laughed at that thought, plus the look of shock on the vampire's face.

"You called her when we were under the spell?" he gaped and she nodded, really starting to giggle now, even when he tipped her off of his lap and stood up.

"She's my Mom and I was so thrilled to be engaged to you" she explained, "I just thought she should know, y'know"

Spike wasn't sure whether to be more shocked that Joyce knew about it, or that she hadn't hit the ceiling about it. Obviously she had a little respect for him too, as he had for her. Surely if she could accept her daughter marrying an evil vampire, she could handle a pregnancy spawned from a one night stand with your average college boy.

"Well then" Spike said eventually, "I s'pose after next weekend, we won't have a secret anymore" he thought aloud "No more reason for you to keep on hassling me"

"Me hassle you?" Buffy scoffed, "Oh yeah, like you haven't done your fair share of following me around like a lost dog"

"I bloody well do not!" Spike yelled, suddenly wondering why the hell he'd wanted this stupid bitch anywhere near him never mind in his arms.

'Because you like her' a voice in the back of his head sang, 'Because even when you're fighting with her you still like her, still want her'

Buffy looked at him strangely as he seemed to battle with voices only he could hear. She thought about how much her relationship with him had changed over the past months and wondered if that's what was bothering him too. From enemies to almost-friends that shared a secret she couldn't tell to anyone else.

"I should go" she said eventually, deciding it was best. He didn't look as if he was comfortable with her being there any longer and she really wasn't at all happy there right now.

Buffy headed for the door, but didn't make it past Spike as his hand shot out and caught her arm. She turned back slowly and looked down at his fingers at her elbow as he did the same.

"Next Saturday, when you tell your Mum" he said, not looking up until now, "Good luck with that" he finished, eyes meeting hers as he let up his grip on her arm.

She looked touched by his concern and for the unlife of him Spike wished he knew why he cared. Feeling as if the green of her eyes were burning his own retinas with their brightness he turned away and waited for her to leave, but she didn't move at all.

"Would you be there?" she asked, almost inaudibly. Spike frowned as he turned back, thinking he surely must have heard her wrong.

"When I tell my Mom about the baby" she started again, still very quiet, "would you be there for me, please?"

She looked genuinely scared, something that should have thrilled Spike. He was a vampire, she was the Slayer. She was terrified and he should be pleased to see her suffer...but he wasn't. Maybe it was that spell when he'd thought he loved her, maybe it was because of the chip in his head, maybe it was something else entirely but he didn't love to see her fear or pain anymore, he hated it, and he'd do anything to make her feel better.

"Sure, luv" he shrugged, "Got nothin' else planned" he said, sounding nonchalant but feeling nothing like it. It was a long time since anyone had needed him for anything genuine, but here was this girl, to whom his presence seemed essential as she told her mother her biggest secret that so far only he shared with her.

Buffy had a small smile on her lips as she nodded once.

"Next Saturday, I'll come and meet you here, at sundown" she told him.

"It's a date" he agreed, with a nod of his own.

No sooner was it arranged than she was gone and Spike returned to his arm chair.

The evening was as it had been an hour ago, no evidence that anything strange had occurred at all, except for the Slayer's scent that hung in the air around him, and the slight warmth in his unbeating heart that he just couldn't explain as he thought of her.

**__**

To Be Continued...

**A/N2 : If you love Spike (like I do) check out my newly re-vamped site - Spike 1880-2003 - details on my profile page!**


	5. Chapter 5

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A/N : Thanx for the wonderful comments; kori hime, Spuffyfan4eva, rubi-elektra, sunnyhell, Freezyboncoolipants, MaidenRo, ms trick, adpi24, Moonglow24, Kari Mouke, twisty-treat, kenting, Rachel, Harm Marie, samica, Bunny, tink36, helaine, Ann, Moluvsnumber17, sba, zanthinegirl, AraelMoonChild. I'm still amazed at the number of reviews I'm getting on this. I thought my first two chapters were okay but the third and fourth I was less certain of. This one I like better so I'm hoping you guys will like it to, there's a couple of surprises coming your way! ;-)

(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 5

It was becoming impossible to cover and Buffy knew the time would come sooner than she expected when she'd have to tell all her friends she was carrying a child. They were already giving her suspicious looks when she turned up at the Bronze in very non-party wear, but all her best stuff was tight and/or revealing and there was one specific part of her she needed to hide as the baby grew and her stomach along with it.

Today was Saturday and her Mom had called to say she was home from her trip and would love to see her. The Slayer knew it would happen that way and now she had to face telling Joyce she was pregnant. Part of her was glad she'd asked Spike to be there but another part wondered why the hell she had!

He was the only one that knew the truth and as such was the only person she could go to to talk about her worries and stuff. Twice during the past week she wanted to go and see him, just so she could talk about what she was feeling. The first time she'd gotten as far as the cemetery where his crypt was before she changed her mind, the second time she'd almost made it to the door before running away. It was stupid really. Stupid that she wanted and needed to be near him, and equally as stupid that she kept changing her mind about it.

Now it was the evening of their 'date' as he'd called it, though it really had no qualities of such an event. Neither had the two dates she'd had with Riley recently. Buffy had only agreed because Willow seemed so insistent that he was perfect for her. He wasn't exactly as Joe Regular as she'd thought but he was definitely more normal than her last boyfriend had been. She really did want to give him a chance, but he just didn't do anything for her lately. There was no real sparkage and she hardly let him touch her for fear of his discovering her secret.

There was no way to continue to avoid the Initiative visit and it had occurred two nights ago. Professor Walsh had asked a lot of Slayer-related questions which Buffy had answered truthfully, if not a little carefully, and then reported back to Giles about all that had happened. There was no follow through on the medical tests the Professor had originally mentioned, in fact no-one spoke of them at all and Buffy was pleased about that. She wondered afterwards if maybe Riley wasn't as keen on her as he was on the idea of her being the Slayer and joining up with the commandos, since she hadn't seen him these past two days.

Buffy sighed as she looked out of the window and saw the sun was setting. She had bigger things to worry about than Riley right now. She'd said she'd collect Spike from his crypt as soon as the sun was down and then she had her Mom to face. She stared into the mirror on the wall and composed herself for a moment.

"Mom, I'm pregnant" she practised, "Mommy, I think I'm having a baby...Mom, there's something I think you should know...Hey, funny story, y'know how you get these people in colleges who sleep around..." it was hopeless, there was not going to be an easy way to explain it.

"It was easier telling her I was a Vampire Slayer" she mumbled as she pulled on her jacket and headed out. Willow was already at Tara's and Xander was with Anya - Saturday night meant date night for them. Buffy only wished her life were that simple.

"Agent Finn, we've had a Polgara sighting in Breaker's Woods, I want you to take a section out there immediately and bring it in" Professor Walsh told the young man who stared off into space, not hearing her at all.

"Agent Finn?" Maggie pressed, but still he didn't move, "Riley?" she tried, her hand on his shoulder, snapping him out of his daze and onto his feet. Standing to attention he apologised for slacking on the job.

"That's quite alright, Riley" the Professors voice took on an uncharacteristically motherly tone, "You've had quite a shock this week, I understand why your mind may not be fully focused"

"It's no excuse" Finn shook his head, "I have a job to do, I shouldn't let my feelings for...her effect that"

"I agree" Professor Walsh nodded, "but as I said I can understand your distress. Miss Summers may be the Slayer but she is also a very foolish girl to allow herself to get into this situation. Of course she has no idea that we're aware of her pregnancy..."

"You said there was a Polgara demon, ma'am?" Riley dared to interrupt, something he would ordinarily never do, but hearing that this girl he believed he was in love with was having a child when she wouldn't even let him touch her, it made him feel so stupid for believing she cared.

"I did, Agent" Walsh let Riley's slight disrespectfulness slide on this occasion as she began to explain his latest mission to him.

"Spike?" the Slayer called as she entered the crypt. He suddenly appeared through a trapdoor in the centre of the floor, making the Slayer physically jump.

"Sorry, luv" he smirked, not looking in the least apologetic, "Did I scare ya?"

"No" she lied, shifting uncomfortably, even more so when he continued to stare at her, "What's your problem?" she asked in annoyance and Spike shook his head.

"I dunno" he admitted, frowning hard as he walked over to her, "It's the weirdest thing..." he trailed off as he leaned in closer to her and Buffy instinctively moved backwards.

"Spike, you're being creepy" she told him, not impressed at all "even more so than usual" she amended as she walked past him into the crypt and he continued to look at her strangely, "Are you ready to go get this over with or what?"

"Sure thing, pet" he said after a moment, shaking his head to take himself out of the daze he'd been in. He opened the door of his home and waited for Buffy to go through. She looked at him oddly now, not accustomed to this gentlemanly side of him, though perhaps she should be, after all he'd been good to her since he found out about the baby, saved her life, and comforted her when she cried. With a shrug she went through the door and he followed, before they walked side by side towards Revello Drive, neither one saying much for over half the journey, until...

"Once you've told Joyce, you're gonna have to tell your mates y'know" the vampire pointed out, "That bumps not gonna get any smaller" he gestured towards her stomach "and you look a mess in that outfit"

"Thanks Spike" she shot back incredulously, "Way to make a girl feel better - tell her she's fat and badly dressed"

"Evil, luv" he smirked as he pointed out the fact, "not exactly here to make you feel better"

"Then why are you here?" she asked as they stopped outside her house.

He stared right into her eyes when he answered and the intensity of the moment made a delightful shiver run down her spine.

"Because you asked me" he said slowly, his gaze seeming to add a slight questioning tone to the statement, as if he wondered why he'd been asked to come along. Buffy only wished she could tell him but she wasn't certain herself.

They were standing so close, his half-asked question left unanswered, the moonlight through the trees making shadows on her face, and for an insane moment Spike really wanted to kiss her. It was crazy, he knew it, and yet even though he didn't make the move to do it, he couldn't seem to force himself to move away from her either.

"We should get inside" Buffy broke the silence with her words, finally bringing the vampire out of his trance. That was the second time he'd gone all stare-y tonight and she was beginning to get a little wigged. The only good thing about Spike's strange behaviour was it served to take her mind off her nerves, but now was the moment, as she stood on the front porch, about to let herself into the house, when she was truly thankful for his presence.

"I'm so glad you're here" she breathed, without looking at him as she opened the door and let herself into the house. He stood stunned for just a second before he followed her. It seemed it really did mean a great deal to her that he was being understanding, truth was it bothered him that he cared. He was a vampire, a demon, an evil Slayer-killing machine...at least he had been. Now he was willingly entering the house of the current Chosen One to support her as she told her mother she was almost four months gone courtesy of the local Uni's resident Casanova. Was he completely off his bird? Or was there something else at work here...?

"Buffy, I'm so glad you came" Spike was taken from his thoughts as Joyce flung her arms around her daughter.

"Hey Mom" the girl greeted her mother, "I hope you don't mind that I brought Spike along" she gestured in his general direction and the vampire held out a hand to Joyce.

"Mrs Summers, nice to see you again" he said politely, after all the woman had been decent to him last time he'd been here, and she had no real reason to like him.

"Spike" she nodded a greeting, taking the offered hand and smiling as he kissed it before letting go, "How did things work out with...Drusilla, was it?" she tried to remember. When Spike looked away, Joyce turned to her daughter who make a cutting motion across her neck with her hand, the time-honoured signal for 'stop talking about that!'

"Or perhaps that's none of my business" Mrs Summers floundered, "Perhaps I should get us all a drink while you two sit down, er, I seem to remember you like hot chocolate Spike" she tried her best to make amends and felt she succeeded as the vampire grinned.

"Hot chocolate would be great, thanks" he told her, and Buffy's mother went off to fetch the drinks as he and the Slayer sat down on the sofa together.

"This is it" Buffy closed her eyes and tried to breathe, "As soon as she comes back..."

"You'll be fine, Slayer" he assured her, fingers finding hers on the cushion between them and squeezing them gently. Buffy couldn't help but smile at the gesture, as Joyce came in with a tray containing three mugs of hot chocolate and a dish of mini marshmallows. Spike grinned again - she'd remembered.

"So" the older woman said as she sat down in the chair opposite, but she was prevented from saying anymore as Buffy spoke up.

"Mom, I kind of have to tell you something..." she said quietly, gaining strength from the hand that held hers, despite it's coldness, "I'm not sure that you're going to be very happy about it but I think you should hear it from me instead of finding out later"

"Oh my God" Joyce gasped, her hand going to her mouth as she spotted the joined hands, "You two are in love?" she guessed, "I mean really, or has Willow done another spell?" she frowned and Buffy couldn't figure out why her Mom seemed to be smiling at the idea of her dating Spike! Although she'd really been pretty reasonable when she'd thought they were engaged before.

Spike smirked, leaning back into the sofa as Joyce continued to switch expressions between pleased and confused, as Buffy let go of his hand like it was poisonous and stared open-mouthed at her mother. He could easily have spoken up, explained that he was in fact not dating the Slayer and had no plans to do so, ever. He could also blurt out the truth in a nice blunt matter and devastate the both of them. The old Spike would have done all that in a heartbeat, someone else's obviously since he didn't have one of his own, but still...and yet he didn't say a word. Sure he was sort of enjoying the uneasy silence, and the confusion/shock that both Summers women were experiencing, but he thought he'd retained more of his evil streak than this, despite his chip. Good God, he hoped he wasn't turning into that poof Angel! If he thought that were true Spike would stake himself on the spot!

"Mom, me and Spike, we're not....this has nothing to do with..." Buffy began to ramble, but when she paused to think of a further coherent sentence, Joyce jumped in feet first again.

"Oh sweetheart, you don't have to feel bad about it" she assured her little girl, "I understand the world a lot better now, the job you do and everything, and Spike was very pleasant to talk to when he visited last year..."

"Mom, I am not dating Spike!" Buffy yelled, just wanting this to be over, "I'm pregnant!"

For a moment there was absolute silence and Spike was sure, even without his vampire hearing, he'd have been able to hear the proverbial pin drop.

"Mommy, please say something" Buffy begged, her eyes finally spilling over with waiting tears.

Joyce let out the breath she'd been holding as she turned to Spike.

"You got my little girl pregnant?" she gasped and the vampire closed his eyes and sighed in annoyance from all the confusion.

"Oh bloody hell"

Hours that felt like days dragged past in the Summer house as Buffy explained about vampires being sterile and also the fact she had never slept with Spike anyway. That had taken the vampire by surprise, since it was a complete and utter lie, but he would wait til later to confront the Slayer about that one. Joyce had already had quite enough shocks for one night after all.

Then came the admission of the one night stand with Parker soddin' Abrams and Buffy had cried and Joyce had cried, and Spike had gotten so uncomfortable he'd headed outside for a smoke.

Standing on the back porch, staring out at the night, again the vampire questioned the turn his life had taken. Just four months ago he was an evil bad-ass vampire, out for what he could get, his main aim being the Gem of Amara when he arrived back in Sunnyhell. He'd beat up the Slayer, knocked out the Whelp, then followed Wolf-Boy to LA and tortured the hell out of Peaches. He had Harmony there to be willingly used and abused, decent digs, and enough tasty townies to feed on every night.

Now he was effectively muzzled, dumped by yet another woman, living in a filthy crypt, and being the Slayers shoulder to cry on as she hid her unborn child from the world, friends included.

Sometimes he told himself it was all part of this elaborate plan. That he'd get the Slayer to rely on him, trust him, then he'd turn around and kill her like he'd always wanted to. Dru had reckoned he was obsessed with Buffy, not just the idea of the Slayer anymore but the actual girl. He'd tried to convince her it was all about killing her then, as he tried to convince himself now, but the more time he spent with the blonde, the more he began to wonder if it wasn't something deeper than that. Love and hate were very closely entwined emotions, he knew that, but the only love he'd really shared with her was under that ridiculous spell that Red had cast. Surely none of that feeling was genuine, on either side...

"Hey" a soft voice spoke behind him, an ordinary man might have jumped at the sudden sound but he'd known she was there even before she spoke.

"Okay now luv?" he checked, flicking his third cigarette butt to the ground and grinding it out with his heel.

"Me and Mom talked it all out" Buffy explained, watching her feet, "I don't think she's ecstatic about it but she's dealing. She promised to be there if I need her, and I think I'm really going to" she admitted with a sad smile.

"At least you've got someone to lean on now" he shrugged, "Guess I can piss off and you wouldn't even miss me" he hated that it bothered him but it really did. He sort of like the fact he was needed, even if it was by someone he was supposed to have killed years before.

"I don't..." Buffy was about to answer when her mother called her name. Her sentence was left unsaid, and Spike would never know what she was thinking at that moment. The Slayer herself was glad of that, to try to tell Spike what she felt was impossible right now. She was appreciative that he'd been, well, a friend, these past couple of weeks, and his support tonight had meant a lot but, what happened next she had no idea.

"Buffy" Joyce frowned as her daughter returned with Spike beside her "Mr Giles is on the phone, he sounds a little worried about something"

Buffy shared a look with Spike as she took the phone from her mother and put it to her ear almost afraid to ask what was wrong. Could it be that somehow he knew without her telling him?

"Hey Giles, what's the what?" she asked as casually as she could, as Spike and Joyce looked on, hanging on every 'yes', 'oh God' and 'I understand'. After a couple of minutes Buffy placed the receiver back in the cradle and leaned on the wall for support.

"You okay, luv" Spike checked and Buffy looked up at him with troubled eyes.

"Not exactly" she admitted "Faith's awake"

__

To Be Continued...

****

A/N2: Surprised? Still like it? Let me know :-)  
Oh, also, the voting has begun at the Spuffy Awards and I am up for Best General Author Award! Your support would be appreciated :-) [There's a link in my Profile Page]


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: I managed to get this chapter done earlier than I planned, so here it is! Thanx to; rubi-elektra, adpi24, Celestria16, Freezyboncoolipants, Angelscribe, AraelMoonchild, ms trick, kori hime, Mizia, samica, hells child, fischer girl, Moluvsnumber17, malfeus, aphelant, Kari Mouke, Hieiko, Spike the Dragon, Bunny, Lozza, Moonglow13, Rachel, Bridget, vee, Willow Fireheart, MaidenRo, Spuffyluvr, helaine, Ann, Semajyrrah, for the reviews. I am still totally stunned that this fic is so popular, but of course I am so totally grateful for the support of those that are reading - you guys are great! :-) Now here's the next chapter...

(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 6

"I can't believe this is happening" said Buffy as she strode down the street towards Giles' apartment. Spike was amazed at how fast the Slayer could move when she put her mind to it, especially in her present condition. He was only glad he didn't have to breathe because at this speed he didn't think an ordinary human being would cope.

"So, this Faith bird" he asked tentatively, "Is she tough?"

Buffy really hadn't said much after her phone conversation with Giles, mostly just that her mother shouldn't worry and that she'd fix it like she always did, but in the mean time to keep the doors and windows bolted and not let anyone into the house. Spike felt totally out of the loop, since he barely knew anything about the Rogue Slayer and all of Buffy's attention was understandably on Joyce.

"She's worse than tough" the blond Slayer replied flatly, "She's psychotic" she continued, not breaking her stride, even when she added, "and she wants me dead"

The vampire stopped walking then, even when she kept accelerating away. There was a deranged woman out there, gunning for Buffy, not a demon or an otherworldly force, a human woman. If they turned around the very next corner and found Faith there, she might kill her sister-Slayer and the unborn child within her, and all Spike could do was stand and watch her die.

"Are you coming or not?" Buffy stopped and turned back, calling to him to 'move his ass if he was coming with her'. For a moment he stopped and stared, trying to identify a strange feeling he was getting inside of him. Somewhere in his gut and also in his chest, a tightening, he was sure it'd be more worrying if he was alive, but even undead he was confused by it.

'Buffy and her child could die' that was the thought he'd had right before it happened, 'they could die and I can't stop it' his mind sang again, the strange feeling cutting deeper. If the man with the demon within didn't know better he'd say it was fear and loathing at the idea of these two beings deaths.

"Fine, I'll go alone" he heard Buffy huff before she disappeared around the corner. After a moments hesitation he ran after her, but as he turned the corner he found she wasn't there. That strange fear-pain was back, mostly where his un-beating heart resided. Where the bleedin' hell was the Slayer?!

On the breeze he caught her scent and tried to figure out where she was. Off to the side was a park, and Spike sensed Buffy had gone that way...but why? The Watchers apartment was straight down the next road. Confusion made the vampire angry. He liked to know what was going on, liked to be in control of the situation. Tonight was getting decidedly out of hand.

"Slayer?" he called, crossing over the road and trying to find her. Through some bushes, round a couple of trees, trying to sense which way she'd gone from here, but the scent seemed to be leading him round in circles.

"Lookin' for me?" said a voice behind him suddenly and he spun around to find Buffy leaning on a tree behind him, arms folded over her chest and a smile on her face.

"What bloody game are you playing here, Slayer?" he complained, angrily, "Lead Spike a merry bloody dance?" he guessed.

"Spike" she repeated his name slowly as she looked him up and down in a way he was sure he'd never seen her do before, a lot of other girls had looked at him that way but never Buffy - he wasn't entirely comfortable with it right now.

"Are you feeling alright luv?" Spike asked, taking a step forward and reaching out a hand to feel her head for a fever. She stepped back sharply.

"I'm fine" she snapped, "Just keep your hands off me"

"Okay" Spike drew out the word, "Like I'd wanna touch you that way anyway" he said grumpily as he walked past her and made to cross back over the road, "Must be a bloody hormones thing" he said to himself as he looked back over his shoulder and realised Buffy wasn't following him but instead looking herself over, as if she'd never seen her own body before!

"Are we headed to your Watcher's digs or not?" he complained, "I thought you wanted the 411 on this Faith bint?"

"Oh yeah, sure" she smiled uncertainly as she crossed over the street to walk beside the vampire.

- - - - - - - -

"Buffy, thank heaven" Giles sighed in relief as he opened the front door to find his Slayer there, he was less thrilled to see Spike at her side, "and Spike, why on Earth are you here?"

"Seems you got yourself some trouble, Rupes" he smirked annoyingly as he followed Buffy into the Watcher's home, "Figured my services might be required...for a reasonable fee of course" he added as a sort of after-thought. Truly he found he just wanted to be there for Buffy, but no-one needed to know that, not even her.

Xander scooched himself and Anya over on the couch to make room for his best friend. Giles took the far chair and Willow remained in the other, leaving Spike to hover in the background as usual.

"So, what's the big deal with Faith?" Buffy shrugged and Willow frowned slightly at her attitude.

"Buffy, she could do anything" the red-head panicked, "She's dangerous and she almost killed you before"

"Yeah, she did, didn't she?" there was a strange look on her face as she seemed to zone out and come back within a few moments, Spike noticed more than the others seemed to, "Of course we have to stop her, she's bad and dangerous and we can't risk you guys getting hurt"

"It's okay, Buff" Xander put a hand over hers, "We can stop her, we always stop the badness" he assured her, "We'll ride her bad-ass right out of town, no problem"

"Wouldn't be the first time you took a ride with Faith, would it Xan?" she replied with a smirk, shocking the entire room.

"Buffy!" Willow gasped at the words as soon as they'd fallen from her friends lips, as the Slayer herself tried not to giggle at her joke. Giles was about to speak, in an attempt to bring the conversation back to the point, but he didn't get the chance.

"Xander what is she talking about?" Anya exploded, getting to her feet, "Have you had sex with the other Slayer?" she demanded to know and Spike couldn't help but smirk as the boy squirmed in his seat.

"Ahn, I..." he began but the ex-demon was already half way to the door, "Ahn! Anya!" he called after her to no avail as she strode out of the front door, leaving it swinging on it's hinges in her wake.

"Go after her Xan, we'll deal" Buffy told him, making no attempt to apologise for the upset she'd just caused. Xander nodded absently before running after his girlfriend, still calling her name.

"Now Buffy" Giles sighed as he removed his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. Between his unofficial Watcher-ly duties and being father figure to these often complex young people, Giles found he had an almost constant headache on occasion, "We need to have some sort of plan in place" he explained, "there really is no telling what Faith might do"

"Can't we just have her arrested?" Willow tried, "She's a criminal after all, a murderer"

"Police couldn't hold a Slayer, Red" Spike pointed out, pacing slightly behind the couch. That feeling was back in his chest, the one that meant he was worried about Buffy and the fact she might face death at the hands of this obnoxious little chit, Faith.

"Faith is very strong and cunning" Buffy nodded, "There's no way the cop's could deal...I'll have to take her out myself" she concluded, about to get up from the sofa when Spike's hand hit her shoulder and kept her down.

"You don't mean kill her, do you?" he asked, quite surprised by the switch in the Slayers attitude. Didn't her and her little Scooby Gang come down on the side of _not_ killing the human beings? Of course these days he was forced to comply but that didn't mean he didn't still love the idea of snapping human necks and draining the life from the innocent - he was still evil after all!

"Of course I wouldn't kill her" Buffy back pedalled fast, as she looked around the group, "I just, I need to deal with her before she...ow!" her sentence was interrupted as a hand went to her stomach and she winced slightly.

"Is something wrong, Buffy?" Giles said worriedly as Willow moved to sit beside her friend, who now looked more puzzled than pained.

"I-I'm fine" she smiled once more, "Just gas I guess" she added none to delicately and Spike rolled his eyes. She wasn't the worlds best liar, that was for damn sure.

At this point the phone rang and Giles got up to answer, Spike taking the opportunity to steal his chair, propping his feet up on the coffee table.

He watched Willow fuss about Buffy and her get this look in her eyes as the red-head talked. He couldn't figure out what it was but something was not right about his Slayer... 'Woah, back up there!' he told himself, 'When the hell did she become _your_ Slayer?!'

There wasn't time to wonder as Giles returned, barely noticing that his seat had been taken and walking around to sit in the other arm-chair.

"That was a contact of mine" he said, gesturing toward the phone and all eyes turned toward him, "he has, shall we say, connections to the police" meaning of course they weren't exactly legal connections, "anyway the fact is there was an anonymous call made earlier this evening, informing them of a sighting of Faith"

"So the police have got her?" Willow asked hopefully but Giles shook his head.

"Actually yes and no" he told them, "they found a young woman fitting her description in a park not far from here, she was unconscious and there was bruises...in short she's at the hospital but with police guards obviously"

"So, the Slayer here, she's still not safe?" Spike realised.

"It depends how badly injured Faith was, how sedated she might be, and how much security that have surrounding her" Giles sighed, polishing the lenses of his glasses, "but given past experience..."

"Our survey says" Buffy interrupted "show's not over"

To Be Continued...

A/N2 : Still like it? Let me know! :-) I'll try to update again soon!


	7. Chapter 7

A/N : Okay, so this fic is currently mutating! The origianl plan was a little simpoler than this is actually turning out to be, but I must be doing something right because I've never had so many reviews on so few chapters! Thanx muchly to you all; kori hime, helaine, Spuffyfan4eva, Freezyboncoolipants, Rachel (twice!), AraelMoonchild, Kimber, adpi24, Samolly, Starlight, Gilly Bean, tink36, theoneandonlygurl, Bunny, rubi-elektra, hells child, wicked-angel3, JadedxVampire21, unforgiven mistress, Moluvsnumber17, SSWBA. Seems most of you spotted the body-swap, even though the characters themselves haven't caught on yet! Hope this chapter lives up to everyones expectation of the story...

(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 7

"Okay, Faith's in the hospital, we assume Sunnydale General" Buffy recapped the nights conversation, as the sun rose "The police probably can't hold her and if I fight her, well, that could be dangerous" she paused for a moment and Giles cut in.

"There is of course the Watcher's Council" he realised in a sudden moment of inspiration, "There are operatives that may possibly be able to remove her from the hospital, and take care of her"

"When you say 'take care of her'?" Willow wondered precisely what that meant.

"Er, they'd take her back to England, attempt to re-habilitate her as it were. Of course, she would probably face some punishment first, for the crimes she's committed"

"Punishment" Buffy echoed with an almost evil smile, "And in England" she caught Spike staring at her strangely and quickly wiped the look from her face, "I mean, it's probably the best thing for her" she nodded seriously.

"I'll give the Council a call" Giles said, getting up from his seat to go and do just that. Spike continued to stare at Buffy in a discomforting way and she shifted in her seat beside Willow. The red-head spoke up next.

"We really should head back to the dorm soon" she realised, "Sun's already up and we have classes this morning"

Buffy was so busy returning Spike's stare she barely heard her friend speak.

"Oh yeah, well, I was actually thinking I'd go back to my Mom's and give her an update" she babbled, "Maybe Giles should walk you back to the dorm, and I'll see you later"

"What about..." Willow tipped her head slightly towards the silent vampire across the room and Buffy smiled to herself.

"Well, as much fun as it would be to throw him outside and watch him burn to a crisp, I guess he'll just have to stay here" she shrugged.

"So long as you tie him up like before, I doubt Giles will mind" Willow agreed, suddenly snapping Spike out of his staring.

"Oi, I am not being tied to soddin' furniture again" he complained, "I thought we were passed the chaining-me-to-things phase?"

Giles interrupted the 'conversation' as he re-joined the group, explaining that the Watchers Council already had three operatives in California to deal with Faith. It appeared she'd been awake from her coma for a couple of days and the Watcher's had a contact at the hospital who had tipped them off as soon as the Slayer's eyes had opened.

"That's good, right?" Willow smiled uncertainly, "I mean, they'll take Faith far, far away and we'll all be safe again?"

"Well, yes, as safe as the Hellmouth permits" Giles assured her.

Buffy then asked him to walk Willow back to the dorm, just in case, and explained that she just needed to use the bathroom and then she was going to her Mom's house. She assured Giles she'd tie Spike up before she left, since he couldn't leave with the sun up. She grinned when he agreed and promptly left with the red-headed witch.

"So, I guess that just leaves you and me, huh Spikey?" Buffy smirked in an unnatural fashion. Spike knew something was wrong he just couldn't quite figure what it was. She smelt the same, in the quiet room he could now hear her heartbeat and the child's, it was all the same and yet so different, she was different he just couldn't for the un-life of him figure out how.

"Buffy" he drew out her name as she disappeared for a moment and then returned with a length of rope in her hands, "Maybe this is a hormone thing and don't drive a stake through me for asking but are you feeling alright Slayer?"

"What could be wrong?" she shrugged, twisting the rope around in her hands, pulling it tight between them "I'm Buffy, the perfect little Slayer. Sure, I could have anything I want and instead I choose to pout and whine about the burden of being the Slayer...but be honest that just adds to the cute-ness of me, right?" she giggled like Harmony used to, Spike realised with a shudder, as Buffy advanced on him.

"Oh come on Spike" the Slayer rolled her eyes as she stood in front of the chair where he sat, "Don't try to tell me you don't want me, that you're not constantly wondering..." she smiled in sultry fashion as she moved her legs and sat straddling his lap, "what it'd be like to kiss me..." she all but whispered, inches from his lips, as she hooked the rope around his wrists and began to bind them "to touch me..." she continued to tease him, wriggling on top of him, keeping his mind off the fact she was tying him up "to take me..." as the words left her mouth she regretted them. Up until that point it was like she had him under thrall but now the spell seemed to be broken as the vampire's brow creased and he looked at her strangely. She leaned away from him, still on his lap, but not half so close now.

"What is it with you, Slayer?" he asked after a moment, "Lying to your mother and now this...did your witch-mate do that forgetting spell after all?"

Buffy remained silent, like she wasn't understanding what he was saying at all. Spike continued to stare, the frown still on his features as Buffy stared back at him, hoping he didn't notice...she needed to distract him again.

"Come on Spikey" she smiled sexily, running a hand up his thigh, "You don't wanna play?"

"Maybe I do" he admitted as he grabbed the hand that was advancing on areas they should not be going to right now, "but first you tell me why you admitted everything else to your mother, but you lied about sleeping with me"

Buffy's eyes went so wide Spike thought they might roll right out of her head. In one movement she was off the vamps lap and across the room.

"Buffy nailed another vamp" she said to herself, but with his advanced hearing Spike heard it easily.

"Yes, Buffy did" he agreed, "but tell me pet, why exactly are we talking about you in the third person? Y'know you can tell me if there's stuff bothering you..." he hated to admit he cared about her, it was absurd that he ever could, but she was acting so weird, it was giving him the wiggins...and hey, when had she tied his wrists together?

"Aww, ain't it sweet" Buffy mocked him, as she wrapped a second piece of rope around his ankles, fastening them together also "Vamp loves Slayer, Round 2" she laughed, not behaving like herself at all, "You're not as good as the last one though" she shook her head, "Angel would have figured it out in a second...guess you just don't love her like he did" she smirked somewhat evilly and Spike's mind spun in red alert style panic.

"You're not Buffy" he said unnecessarily.

"Damn, took you long enough to figure it out Blondie, and even then I kinda had to spell it to ya" she laughed in true Faith-style. The body swap had been too easy, acting the part to fool Giles and the Scooby Gang was a piece of pie, and then tricking this wannabe-Angel type, that was a sweet bonus, "I would be Faith" she announced, "look a little different to what you expected, huh?"

"What did you do?" Spike asked dangerously low, Faith in Buffy's body shook her head.

"Nothing that'll kill the Wonder-Slayer" she assured him, "She's just getting shipped off to England and apparently punished...unless of course I just decide to go to the hospital and hold a pillow over her face until..."

"I'll kill you if you try" Spike warned, "Don't care if my head explodes in the meantime"

"Nice imagery" Faith frowned slightly, not really understanding the head exploding part, unless... "Spike" she had a sudden realisation, "William the Bloody with a chip in his head, oh this is just too good" she laughed wickedly.

"Glad I amuse you pet, wasn't my intention" Spike sneered, completely uncomfortable with this nasty bitch parading around in Buffy's body. At least she didn't know about the baby, and he wouldn't tell her. Let the sickness and such be a nasty surprise for the bleedin' bint, and just hope she didn't get Buffy's body or the baby harmed in the meantime.

"Yeah, well, I'm capable of making my own fun" she grinned, moving behind him and pushing the chair towards the window. Spike looked horrified as he was steered toward the sunlight but the chair stopped moving right next to the fatal beams.

"Now, I never paid much attention in physics class" Faith explained behind him, "but I do know the sun is moving that way" she gestured in front of his face, "and with you sitting there, well, could be a few minutes, could be a couple of hours but before the days out, you're gonna be ash-tray sized Spikey" she said cheerily, patting him on the head like a dog.

The vampire didn't move, didn't say a word as the girl walked behind him and headed for the door.

"It was fun while it lasted, Spike" she called as she opened the door and let herself out, "enjoy the sun"

The vampire glanced out of the window and saw the sun was fast approaching, he had maybe half an hour before the beams would be directly on him. Though he wasn't bound to the chair he dare not stand. With his ankles tied together he was likely to fall over and if he fell to the right he was toast - literally.

"Oh bloody hell"

- - - - - -

Buffy was aware of nothing but darkness to start off with, then a light pierced the distance and she ventured toward it, desperate to prise her lids open and see beyond the black. Eventually she managed it and her weary eyes adjusted to her surroundings. It looked like a hospital room, all white and sterile and the light above her was far too bright. She tried to move her hand to shield her eyes from the glare but found she couldn't. Restraining straps held her wrists to the sides of the bed and no amount of pulling and wriggling was going to get them free, especially now when he was feeling less than great.

Desperately the Slayer tried to remember what had happened, not daring to call out for help in case this wasn't just a hospital. Truth was she could be anywhere and she didn't fancy calling her captors attention to her awake-ness til she knew what was going on.

She'd been walking with Spike towards Giles' house, they'd been to see her Mom to tell her about the baby and...oh God! Buffy suddenly realised she wasn't pregnant. Where was the slight bump at her stomach, and why in Gods name was she dressed like such a ho?!

"Faith" she exhaled as she realised that's who's clothes she was wearing. Her memory was staring to come back to her. A figure in the park that she'd mistaken for a fledging vamp. She'd crossed over the street only to be dived on by her manic sister-Slayer. She put up a good fight, but a couple of knocks to the back of her head and Faith was going down, then she'd grabbed onto Buffy's hand.

There was a flash, the blonde Slayer remembered now, between her hand and Faith's and then everything was black...no, wait, just before the blackness she'd run away, she'd seen _herself_ disappear into the darkness.

"She, oh my God..." Buffy began to ramble incoherently as she realised what had happened. Faith had switched their bodies, some spell or something when she'd grabbed her hand! If she had her body, then she had her baby!

"She's awake" a voice said and Buffy suddenly realised she wasn't alone. A nurse was across the room, talking into a phone. After she'd hung up she walked towards the door, the Slayer's eyes followed her and then the man, who she assumed to be a doctor, who came into the room as the nurse left.

"Well, look who's awake" an English voice came out of the 'doctors' mouth and Buffy frowned, "Don't get too used to it. Seems you've been quite the naughty girl, Faith" he leered at her, pulling out a syringe, and grabbing her arm that she was unable to move. She kicked out her legs but to no avail, she couldn't reach him that way.

"By order of the Watchers Council" he said with a certain amount of evil glee as he pushed the needle into her, "you are to be taken into custody..." she didn't hear anymore as the world went blurry and disappeared altogether. Her final thoughts before unconsciousness were of her unborn child and, strangely, of Spike.

To Be Continued...

A/N : Good God, writing characters in other people's bodies is not simple! And I'm not entirely sure I wrote Faith too well, I don't have a huge amount of writing-Faith experience...oh well, let me know what you think! :-)


	8. Chapter 8

A/N : Sorry it's taken me so long to update this time around. RL has been kicking my butt this past week but thankfully I have a little time on my hands now. This chapter took me a week to get finished, but I'm hoping to have the next chapter done in the next couple of days. Anyway, enough rambling now...thanx to the reviewers of the previous chapter; Rachel, Moluvsnumber17, Freezyboncoolipants, theoneandonlygurl, Samolly, Mariana, Malfeus, Spuffyfan4eva, Darrel Doomvomit, MaidenRo, Spike the Dragon, tink36, Kimber, Semajyrrah, Spikespet2002, Spuffyluvr, aphelant, hells child, rubi-elektra, Hieiko, Eurika, SSWBA, Moonglow13, Spike-Rocks, Angelscribe, Bunny, Katie, Kathy, JadedxVampire21 - woah, that's a lot of names. Oh and thanks especially to those who pointed out my little error about Faith and Spike's chip in chapter 6 - I went back and fixed it! Enjoy the new chapter! :-)

(For disclaimer, etc - see chapter 1)

Chapter 8

"Watcher! At bloody last!" Spike yelled as Giles entered his home. With his back to the door he still knew it was him from the sound of his footsteps and his scent.

"Spike?" the Watcher frowned as he deposited his keys on the table and walked over to the window "What on Earth are you doing over here?"

"Oh, just thought I'd get a little bit of a tan y'know" Spike said casually and Giles' frown deepened, "I'm about to bloody fry you pillock!" the vampire suddenly exclaimed "Move this soddin' chair!" the past twenty three minutes the fatal beams of the sun had been getting closer and closer and were now just a hairs breadth away from the edge of his body. He'd like to say that death did not scare him, but as he found himself so close to being dusty he found himself to be petrified. The strange thing was he found he was more worried about what might happen to Buffy if he died than he was about the actually burning.

"One less vampire in the world would be no great shame" Giles stalled with a shrug "especially one who feels the need to insult me so colourfully. I can't think of one good reason to bother to help you..."

"Cos your Slayer's in danger of being severely dead" Spike snapped, cutting Giles' sentence off half way and causing him to go pale "and if I end up dusty you won't ever know how to save her"

The Watcher shifted to stand between the window and Spike, still uncertain about whether to help the fiend or not.

"Why should I believe you?" he asked, looming over the vampire and speaking in a decidely Ripper tone.

"You wanna take the chance that I'm lying?" Spike replied with his own question, already knowing the answer. Old Rupes loved his Slayer like a daughter, there was just no way he'd risk her life, not like this. Still, for a moment he looked like he was considering it. Eventually he grasped the arms of the chair and pushed it back and to the side well away from the window. Spike sighed.

"Thank God for that" he closed his eyes as the relief flowed through him. When he opened them Giles was still standing over him, staring. "Well come on then!" he urged, waving his bound hands in the air "Untie me already!"

The older-looking man turned to pull another chair forward and seated himself in front of Spike.

"First you tell me about the supposed danger that Buffy is in" he said sternly, inside starting to panic that something truly awful might be happening to her.

"Right, your girl Faith pulled herself a little body swap" Spike explained and Giles eyes went comically wide, though no-one was laughing.

"She did what?" he checked.

"Must've been when I lost the Slayer on the way over here" Spike shook his head "I've looked at it from every angle, only time we were apart, and she was so different..." he remembered how he'd lost Buffy in that park, tried to track her scent and been left going round in circles until she appeared. She acted differently, more distant than she had been of late. He was sort of glad to know it wasn't really her.

"Get to the point, Spike" Giles snapped, his internal panic meter clocking up another notch.

"Slayer mark two must've got some mojo going for her" he explained it the way he saw it "she switched their bodies. The girl that sat here in your very own flat was not Buffy, least not on the inside"

"Oh good Lord" Giles removed his glasses and ran a hand over his face as he got to his feet and paced the room a couple of times.

"And you didn't even notice" Spike added with a grimace. This was supposed to be her bloody father-figure and he hadn't cottoned on that it wasn't even Buffy! Of course he knew he was partially aiming the comment at himself. Whilst he'd realised she was different he'd had no idea it wasn't her, not until she got all touchy feely with him and got all amnesiac about them getting it on.

"Where is Buffy, er Faith, er where are they now?" Giles stumbled his way through the question, not really knowing who he should be looking for first.

"Well, Buffy, the real her in the body of Faith" Spike began "it seems she must be at the hospital, with your Watcher mates going after her no less" he sighed in pure annoyance at the whole stupid situation "as for the bitch herself, she's prancing around in Buffy's outsides and she..." he stopped short, almost physically wincing at the idea "she said she might head for the hospital, do Buffy for good" he said much more quietly, knowing if he said it aloud it made it real. He was starting to worry if these feelings he had for the Slayer weren't just about wanting to kill her himself, he was beginning to wonder if he...

"You mean kill her?" Giles' inane question interrupted his train of thought and his anger grew.

"No, bloody cook dinner for her, what do you think?!" he shot back both loudly and nastily. Giles didn't waste time yelling back, he had more important things to think about.

"I'm going to the hospital" he announced, reaching for the keys he had discarded just a few moments ago.

"Untie me first!" Spike called to him as he made for the door, "I'll call your little witch, see if she can reverse this thing, whatever the hell it is"

Giles moved quickly to the kitchen to fetch a knife. He walked over to Spike and put the blade to the ropes at his ankles first and stopped short of cutting him free.

"Why are you so keen to help Buffy?" he asked suddenly and Spike opened his mouth to answer before re-considering and closing it again. A moment later he gave his reply.

"I'm not" he lied "I just wanna see that damn bitch Faith gets whats coming her way after what she did to me" that at least was true, but if he was honest with himself he hated the idea of Buffy and her child getting hurt...or worse.

"Fair enough" Giles nodded, deciding it would be useful to have an extra person who knew the truth of the situation. Besides, what did he have to lose?

- - - - - - - -

Spike was getting restless and bored. He liked to feel like he was doing something, didn't matter what it was, but with the sun high in the sky he was pretty much stuck until Willow arrived with her box of tricks. He'd told her on the phone that Buffy was in danger, that it had to do with Faith and that she should get her ass over to Giles' place as fast as her little girl legs would carry her. He didn't like to say too much on the phone - never knew who was listening.

"'Bout bloody time Red!" he cursed as he heard a knock on the front door. He opened it, staying behind it as he did so and was a little shocked to come face to face with a cross when he moved to close it again.

"If this is an evil plan I'm prepared!" Willow yelled, a shake in her voice as well as the hand that held the cross.

"There is no evil plan you silly bint" Spike sighed, shying away from the cross, "Not from me anyway, thats all your girl Faiths doing"

"Okay then..." the red-head nodded slowly, putting the cross back in her bag, "This is my friend, Tara" she gestured to the shy girl behind her that Spike had barely even noticed was there. She smiled a little and softly said 'hi'. Willow explained that Tara was also a witch and she thought it might help to have her there, two heads being better than one and all that.

"The deal is this" Spike began to explain the situation as the three sat down at the table. When he'd finished he looked at the Wiccans hopefully, "So ladies, any ideas on a reversal?"

"I-it sounds like a Dr-Draconian K-Katra spell" the new girl forced out, and Spike looked to Willow for a translation.

"Oh, it's a spell for switching essences and stuff" she explained "powerful and dangerous, but I think we can reverse it, right?" she addressed her question to Tara who nodded and smiled.

"I-I've never made a K-Katra on my own before, but I-I think we c-could do it, together" she said with certainty, though her stammering made it sound less definite. Spike watched as the blonde's hand landed on Willow's arm, and the look the two girls shared. Seemed Red wasn't playing with the boys anymore. Who'd've thought it?

- - - - - - - -

Giles was shocked by how lax the security was at Sunnydale General, but then when you took into account the amount of casualties they had to deal with - neck wounds and the such like in particular - he guessed they simply didn't have time to do thorough checks on who they were letting in.

He'd found his way to the group of rooms where his contact had told him he would find 'Faith'. It was frightening to think that it was Buffy inside that body, that his dear girl was suffering. She was practically a daughter to him, though such things were never said aloud. Now she was in danger and it made him feel wretched.

Looking in through the glass panels in all the doors, Giles was at a loss. It didn't appear that either girl as anywhere to be found, until suddenly the door behind him swung open and three men pushed a trolley down the corridor, with a dark haired girl on top of it. She was clearly unconscious and Giles did a double-take as he realised he'd seen Faith's face, and that meant he'd found Buffy.

He called her name, though it was pointless and turned to go after her. A blonde girl stood in his path in a second.

"You're not Buffy" he stated, "You're Faith"

A nasty smirk contorted his Slayers face, confirming what he already knew. Her hand shot out to hit him in the face and knock him down.

"So, you saved the vamp, huh?" she walked up and down in front of him in the deserted hospital corridor "And they say I'm the bad one" she stopped and looked down at the Watcher who was trying to stem the flow of blood from his nose.

"What have you done you stupid vindictive little girl?!" he snapped angrily. This insolent child had put Buffy in danger. He knew quite well what the Operatives from the Watchers Council were capable of. If they thought 'Faith' to be too much of a liability they wouldn't bother trying to get her back to England. They had ways of making it all look like an accident...

"Now Giles, is that any way to speak to your Slayer" the girl that wore Buffy's face scolded him like a child, leaning down to hit him around the head again.

"If Buffy comes to harm because of you" he choked out, "so help me..."

"No-one is gonna help you, man" Faith told him with a nasty look "Buffy, or should we say 'Faith'" she smiled evilly a she air-quoted, "she's been taken on a little trip by your Watcher friends" she explained, crouching down to the Watchers level and wrenching his head backwards "She'll be in England before you can say stiff upper lip!" she grinned, pushing his head to the wall with a thump and finally making him completely lose consciousness "And by the time you come around" she said, getting to her feet and checking no-one had seen what happened "I'll be long gone" she added as she strutted away down the corridor.

To Be Continued...

A/N2 : Chapter 9 is coming very soon! In the meantime, please review! Thanks :-)


	9. Chapter 9

A/N2 : I finally got this chapter figured out! I kind of confused myself with the whole Faith and Buffy body-swap thing, plus my inspiration for this fic when walk-about the other day and I ended up writing something completely differnt (if you wanna see it, look on my profile page - it's called 'Untitled' since I had no idea what to call it!) Anyway, thanx to kori hime, SweetBitter, BuffyandDracoLover, rubi-elektra, cocktailpk, Bunny, kransp, Freezyboncoolipants, Moluvsnumber17, Spuffyfan4eva, MaidenRo, Rachel, CraZy4SpikE09, SSWBA, Moonlight-is-Innocence, for all the reviews. I think this chapter will answer some of your questions...

(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 9

Spike had been watching Willow and Tara conjure and incant and such for the past two hours or more. On the outside he figured he must be looking pretty calm, but inside he was screaming with frustration. The sun was high in the sky, just gone midday he reckoned, meaning he hadn't seen Buffy, the real article, in over twelve hours. He was beginning to admit, to himself at least, that she did mean something to him, that he did care just a little. There was just no other explanation for what he was feeling. This pain in his chest and the lead weight in his stomach that was making him want to heave, despite the fact he hadn't eaten anything for hours. He'd heated himself some blood about an hour ago when his demon started to complain but he'd had trouble swallowing it down, he felt so bad inside. He was going stir-crazy and God help him he was gonna rip this joint apart if something didn't change soon.

"Are we almost done with the herbs and prayers, ladies?" he snapped at the witches "Clock ticking y'know" he reminded them, agitatedly.

Willow smiled as she held up a small box. Inside was a ball of pure green light, that didn't look as if it should've taken two hours of hard graft to create! Still the witches were grinning, Red most especially.

"We did it" she exclaimed "I wasn't' sure if we could but, look" she thrust the box further under the vampires nose and he backed up a little.

"Great" Spike frowned slightly "it's a green energy thingy, but will it work" he asked the blonde girl who nodded slowly.

"I-I'm n-ninety percent certain" she forced out and he gave her half a smile, glad he had the ability to still scare someone at least!

"Well, I guess that'll have to do" he agreed, "What next?" he asked and the phone rang in response. He grabbed at it, something inside him shifting as he thought it could be good news or something awful.

"Yeah?" he said as he put the receiver to his ear, "Giles? Did you find the Slayer?" the girls stood watching, holding each others hand, trying to analyse Spike's expression and decipher the meaning on the conversation from only his words "Oh bloody hell!" he exclaimed, before sighing "We got the reversal spell but...here, talk to Red" he decided that was the best option since he couldn't explain all that mojo rot.

He shared a look with Tara as Willow and Giles talked about the spell and presumably Faith and Buffy before she hung up the phone.

"Everything okay, sweetie?" Tara asked worriedly, going to her girlfriends side.

"The Watcher guys took Buffy" she frowned deeply "cos obviously they think she's Faith. The real Faith, beat up Giles at the hospital and then took off" she told them "On the upside he's pretty sure he knows where to find the Watcher guys" Spike paced the room as he took in the news. The Slayer, his Slayer, was in as much danger from the Wankers Council as she was from Faith, but chances our dear old Rupes could talk them round. Right now they needed the other girl so they could reverse the trick she'd pulled.

"And the bitch-Slayer from hell?" he stopped in front of Willow.

"That's the bad news" she shrugged "no clue"

Spike thought for a second before grinning somewhat evilly.

"That's not a problem pet...Vampire remember?" he tapped his nose with his forefinger "I know Buffy's scent well enough I can track it" he glanced towards the window before picking up the throw from the back of the sofa and pulling it over his head "s'not gonna be easy with the sun up and all, but s'not impossible"

"But how can you make her come back?" Willow called behind him as he made for the door "It's not like you can hit her or anything"

"Don't fret about that, luv" he shook his head in the negative before gesturing for Tara to get the door for him which she dutifully did "Spike always delivers" he promised right before he left "I'll be back"

- - - - - - - -

When Buffy finally managed to open her eyes again the bright light was gone, replaced by harsh darkness even worse with her eyes open than closed. As she awoke and looked down at her shackled hands and feet, she remembered everything. The body swap with Faith, waking up from unconsciousness at the hospital and being injected by some English guy. 'By order of the Watcher's council..' that's what he'd' said. Faith was in trouble and her body was to be shipped off to the mother country for punishment it seemed, regardless of who she was on the inside.

Buffy hated the fact she felt tears on her cheeks. She was the Slayer. She shouldn't be afraid or worried, but she truly was. It wasn't being shipped out of the country that bothered her, or even the prospect that they would harm her, though she'd prefer not to be hurt or worse dead. Still, the thing that bothered her most was that she was currently away from her child. Her unborn baby was inside a body that Faith inhabited, probably drinking and smoking and fighting - anything could go wrong. even if they did manage to swap back, would it be too late to reverse the damage, to save the child?

"Buffy?" a voice shattered the dark and silent panic inside the back of the truck where she was being held. Another English voice but one she recognised, and this one wasn't calling her Faith or bitch or scum or...

"Buffy?" the voice called again.

"Giles?" she dared to hope and soon the doors were open and he was in there with her, using a key to undo the bonds that held her captive. Relief flowed through her borrowed body as he helped her out of the truck and across the warehouse she hadn't even known she was in. She was still pretty out of it from the drugs and the beating she'd taken when Faith cast the spell, but she knew it shouldn't have been so easy to escape.

"There were three guys, Giles" she told him as they finally made it out of the building and into the harsh mid-afternoon sun, "How did you....?" her question was left unfinished as he uninterrupted.

"It's not important" he told her, "I did what must be done"

Buffy knew better than to push him on the subject. She was free now and half the battle was won. Her friends cared so much about her, she had no doubt they'd all be working on a way to help her get her body back, and although they didn't know it, her baby too.

- - - - - - - -

It had taken a while. Dodging in and out of sewer tunnels and the like, whilst trying to keep a hold on the Slayer's scent hadn't been easy and the sun had caught him in a couple of places, causing nasty burns. Still he'd suffer the pain of his scalding flesh and any other injury he might sustain if it meant he could re-unite a soon to be mother and her unborn child. He didn't understand why he felt these things for the Slayer lately, all he knew was that he did. It wasn't love, at least not yet, it almost scared him to think it might be, if of course the Big Bad was the 'get scared' type, which he wasn't. Still it was something and that something was a thing he wanted to investigate, not something he could do if he didn't find the silly bint that had screwed everything up! No sooner had he thought it than he spotted her. He come up from the tunnels in the basement of the airport. It seemed like a plausible place for the girl to go and he'd managed to track her most of the way there before.

As soon as he got near the departures lounge he knew he was right, and there she was. The beautiful body of his Slayer with the rotting essence of the bitch inside.

"Hello pet" he smiled insincerely, grabbing her arm and yanking her from the seat before striding towards a more secluded area. To her credit she didn't struggle, clearly not wanting to make a scene and attract unwanted attention. When they were far enough away from any onlookers or eavesdroppers, he let her go.

"Spike, and here was me thinking you'd be out of my shampoo commercial hair by now" she scowled, folding her arm over her chest.

"You're an idiot, Faith" he rolled his eyes in annoyance at how dumb a child she really was.

"No, that would be you" she snapped back, pointing her finger at him "I know you can't hurt me with that chip in your head"

"Maybe not" he shrugged his shoulders, folding his own arms and leaning back against the wall "Sure, you could dust me here and now" he told her easily "but I know how to get your own body back and you'll never find out if I get dusty"

"Why would I want that body back?" she grinned "Got a brand new one" she spread her arms and turned around, letting him see the glorious new skin she was walking around in, "and hey, I heard blondes have more fun, so..."

"What about mothers?" he cut her off, making the smile drop from her face in a second "They have fun, do they?"

"What're you talking about BleachBrain?" she asked with as severe frown. Spike pretended to be surprised, though in truth he'd expected a dim little idiot like her not to realise.

"Oh, you didn't notice?" he said with a repressed smirk "That body you're wearing isn't all you got in this deal, you got a baby out of it too"

Realisation dawned on the Slayer's face and her eyes widen as she glance down at her borrowed stomach. She had felt a little weird on and off but she assumed that was just after effects of forcing her essence in where it didn't belong. She looked back up at the vampire's face and he nodded in answer to her unasked question - was it true?

"Damn!"

- - - - - - - -

Buffy was pleased to be back at Giles' place thought less pleased to still be inside Faith's skin. It gave her the wiggins to just look at herself and since she'd been semi-conscious before she was happy to keep her eyes closed even though she was fully awake now. The drugs those guys from the Watchers Council had used on her were having no more effect and all she wanted was for Spike to arrive back with Faith so their bodies could be switched back.

Initially Buffy had to admit she hadn't be a hundred percent sure she wanted the baby she carried, but having it be taken away from her and put in danger, confirmed that she needed to protect it, that on some levels she loved it already.

When she and Giles had arrived, Willow and Tara were there with the reversal spell all ready and they'd called Xander over for back-up. He'd brought along Anya, who'd driven everyone crazy with her unhelpful comments until Giles had come to the end of his tether and sternly told her to shut up if she had nothing of use to say. Now the witches were talking quietly about their magicks and Xander had his arm around Anya, whispering to her as she sulked. Giles had opened the bottle of scotch from the cabinet, hoping to calm his nerves so he said. Buffy couldn't help but wonder what exactly he'd done to get her free and if that was why he needed a 'stiff drink'.

A loud knocking on the locked door caught everyone's attention.

"Who's there?" Giles called warily, getting up from his seat.

"One smouldering vamp and one not-so-friendly resident psycho" came back the fairly angry reply.

"It's Spike!" Willow exclaimed, jumping up from her seat with Tara at her side.

"Thank heaven" Giles sighed as he opened the door and Spike came inside with Faith "now perhaps we can perform this spell"

"Hey B" the blonde girl with the bitch inside spoke to her sister Slayer.

"Faith" she nodded coolly. She really wanted to smack her stupid face, but that stupid face was currently attached to herself and the girl she was looking at was her!

Giles took the girl in Buffy's body to one side and sat her down, always very wary of where her dangerous fists and feet were.

"You okay, luv?" Spike asked Buffy quietly, frowning slightly at the face that looked back at him. It was Faith on the outside but somehow it was obvious from the way she smiled slightly at his concern that it was definitely his Slayer on the inside.

"I'll be better when I get my own body back" she nodded, the look in the wrong colour eyes telling him that the word body could be exchanged for baby, since she was just as eager to get the child back.

The vampire walked back across the room, sitting himself up on the counter and staring at Faith in Buffy's body. They'd made a deal. She'd come back, let the bodies get swapped back without complain and then piss off for bloody ever with any luck.

"How did you get her here?" Giles said from beside him, it was barely a whisper, he clearly did not want anyone else to here.

"Doesn't matter, does it?" Spike shrugged, voice equally as low "Point is she's here"

There was a moment before he asked his own question.

"How'd you get Buffy away from those Watcher types anyway?"

Giles looked at him and then back at the remains of his scotch. Downing it in one he smiled slightly.

"Doesn't matter does it? The point is, she's here"

Spike smirked as the ex-Watcher walked back across the room where Willow and Tara were preparing their spell. Could it be that a certain alter-ego had surfaced when it came to getting the Slayer away from those ponces from the Council of Wankers? There was a definite look of Ripper in his eyes just then, Spike was sure of it.

"Okay, we're ready" Willow announced, breaking the train of thought. Everyone was on the edge of their seats as Faith and Buffy sat opposite each other with one witch behind each of them. The ball of green energy was magically lifted from the box on the table and brought between the Slayers. They were instructed to raise their right hands and in a flash of light they connected with the Katra and each other.

The Scoobies all blinked and squinted against the harsh light until it finally subsided and they saw both Slayers breathing deeply.

"Buffy?" the red-headed witch asked the body that looked like her friend. The blonde nodded.

"It's me Will, and I'm okay" she said, gripping the sides of the chair and trying to get her breath back. Finally she felt whole again, her body and her baby were back where they should be.

"Faith?" Giles turned to her and she nodded.

"I'm five by five"

"I wasn't enquiring about your health" Giles rolled his eyes "merely that your essence was where it was supposed to be"

The dark Slayer jumped up from the chair and looked towards the door.

"Hey, rather have this body back than carry her kid around" she tilted her head at Buffy, then shot an evil look at Spike that the evil himself would've been proud of. She'd sworn not to let that slip, it was part of the deal! The vampire leapt down from the counter top and glared at her as the Scoobies began gabbling a hundred questions at once at Buffy, who looked crushed.

"Oh no" she closed her eyes and put her face in her hands as Faith made for the door and Spike went after her.

"You bitch!" he yelled as he grabbed her by the hair, spinning her round and punching her square across the face. He screamed like a wounded animal as the chip fired making his whole head feel like it might explode. Still, he wanted this bint to pay. She opened the door and ran out, as he desperately tried to fight the pain enough to grab his blanket and go after her. The sun had almost set but it'd be another few minutes before he'd be completely safe.

"Let her go, Spike, it's not worth it" Buffy begged, surprising herself. She didn't know until he screamed like that, that his pain bothered her, but it did.

"Buffy" Giles got the Slayer's attention back as he and the rest of the Scooby gang stood around her "is there something we should be told?"

To Be Continued...

A/N2 : So, what do you think? I'm getting worried about this fic. It was mostly the developing feelings between Buffy and Spike to start with and then suddenly it was all about the plot with Faith and everything...I hope I haven't taken the wrong route with this and I really hope you guys still like it. Review and let me know please! Thanks :-)


	10. Chapter 10

A/N : Wow, it still amazes me that this fic is so popular. I literally started writing this on a whim, not really sure if it would be very good or not and suddenly bam! more reviews than I ever got before! You guys are just so awesome giving me all this support and taking the time to make a comment after each chapter.

Thanx to; Spuffyfan4eva, zanthinegirl, Freezyboncoolipants, rubi-elektra, kori hime, Screeching Dragon, Bunny, Harm Marie, Moluvsnumber17, books41, Spuffyluvr, Samolly, scruffybunny, MetChick01, MaidenRo, Willow Fireheart, Z, Alec Star, Artemis Moonshine, ms trick, naiya-isis, Kelley, Malfeus, kransp, spuffyfan-1, msberry, CraZy4SpikE09, Charlene, Fearlessbuffy, spikeswife1, Victoria Michael, fischergirl, little-lost-one, Eurika, Katie, hells child, Angelscribe, Mr Lennox, libraflyter.

You guys all rock so much! I hope that you'll all like this chapter, I have this sneaking suspicion that you will... ;-)

(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 10

"Buffy" Giles got the Slayer's attention back as he and the rest of the Scooby Gang stood around her "is there something we should be told?"

Buffy looked to Spike for salvation, but he wasn't even looking at her, his head was clearly still hurting from his attack on Faith. Besides, what could he say to make it better? It was bad enough that her friends had just found out she was pregnant. Add to that the fact Spike knew before them and she just couldn't take what their reactions might be.

"I'm sorry" she said finally, tears running down her cheeks as she got up from her seat, "I can't..." she cried as she pushed past her friends and ran out of the door. Spike considered going after her but refused to show these losers that he might actually care! Besides, he wasn't entirely sure he wanted to have to cope with a blubbering Slayer right now. After all she'd been through, would she really want his company? He guessed probably not.

"The Buffster" Xander frowned, "She's not really...I mean with the baby have-age..."

"It's certainly what Faith implied" Giles frowned even deeper than the boy. How could this have happened to his Slayer, to the girl he saw as a surrogate daughter?

"But Faith lies" Willow jumped immediately to her friends defence, "I mean, Buffy would be careful and stuff, she doesn't just...oh God" her hand went to her mouth as a thought occurred to her.

"What is it, sweetie?" Tara asked, concerned by her girlfriends expression.

Willow surveyed the room and tried to decide if she should admit what she'd just realised. There was no backing out now. Bringing her hand away from her face she sighed.

"Buffy dated a guy named Parker" she said quietly, "It didn't last, he kinda dumped her after..." she couldn't say it, there was no way she could mention it in front of Giles, even if she could have said it with the others looking at her.

Spike stifled a smirk. The little Red witch was a smart one alright, figured it all out in record time. His expression was soon serious again as he took in the gang's reactions. Giles went down into the armchair with a thump, immediately removing his glasses and polishing them til Spike was sure he'd wear the lenses down to sand. Xander's mouth open and closed like a gold-fish but no sound came out at all. The witches held onto each other hands, both clearly feeling bad for the Slayer and her situation whilst the demon-girl didn't really seem to give a stuff as she picked at her nail polish and looked thoroughly bored with the whole thing. He wished he could be so calm about it all. Right now he was itching to go towards the front door and chase the Slayer down. He wanted to be there to comfort her, he wanted to tell her it'd all be okay, put his arms around her and...

"Well, as much as fun as it is watching you ponces sit around doing landed fish impressions" he announced as he got up and headed for the door, "Some of us have better things to do" he told the group, though they were scarcely paying attention.

Spike was glad the sun was no longer in the sky, instead the moon was rising above him, bathing the world in silver light. Now he could find the Slayer, and it shouldn't be that complicated. He was almost certain she'd have gone back to her dorm. Even though her mother knew the truth about the baby, Spike was pretty sure she'd want to be alone right now, which begged the question why was he going to look for her? But Spike was one to follow his blood, not his brain, and that was singing out for him to find his precious Slayer. He lit a cigarette as he set off in the direction of the university, thinking that maybe on the way there he'd be able to figure out exactly why Buffy meant so much to him of late...

- - - - - - - -

Buffy didn't stop running until she was practically to the door of her and Willow's dorm room, and even then she only came to a halt because her body hit another.

"I'm sorry" she mumbled, moving to side-step the man before she glanced up and realised who it was.

"Hey Buffy" Riley said flatly, not sure what to say after that. He really wanted to hate her after what he'd found out but she looked so upset and he ached to hold her and make it all better. They'd come so close to being close but the last few days he hadn't even seen her. Though it wasn't an official break-up, it was more than clear they were over, especially after the following exchange...

"What's the matter?" he asked, pretty sure he already knew. With tears streaming down her face and no thought for who might hear, she blurted out the truth - that she was pregnant. With that she collapsed into Riley's arms and cried some more. He awkwardly held her in the dimly lit corridor, absently rubbing her back.

"I know" he said quietly, wondering what her reaction would be "Hostile 17's baby"

"What?!" Riley was fairly certain the entire campus heard Buffy yell as she backed up a couple of steps from him "Spike?!"

"Don't deny it Buffy" Riley shook his head, understanding why the Slayer might, but knowing it would do her no good "The Initiative know all about it"

"Well then they've got it wrong" Buffy exploded, pacing up and down the corridor, her mind whirring with the possibilities.

"The Initiative doesn't do wrong" Riley pointed out to her, arms folded across his chest in a defensive stance - no-one questioned the wonder of his precious Initiative friends "You were scanned by our sensors when you visited last week. You're pregnant and it's DNA has strands that matched our databanks" he told the now still Buffy, she was too shocked to moved as the information hit her like a punch in the face. Could it really be true? Could it be Spike's child she was carrying?

"I've already said more than I should" Riley said quietly, knowing that was only half the reason he was going, the other thing being he couldn't stand to be around Buffy for too long. Liking her so much when he wished he could hate her, and seeing her cry when there was no way to help, it tore him up inside.

It took a moment for Buffy's brain to register that he was walking away, but as soon as she did she strode after him, grabbing his arm and spinning him back towards her dorm room. She pushed him through the door and pinned him to the wall by the throat, kicking the door closed again so no-one would see.

"No way are you walking away from me now" she told him in a dangerously low tone.

Riley had the courtesy to look a little worried by their current position and held up his hands as if to surrender. She released her grip on him but stood by the door, daring him to try to leave. Resigned, he sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Now you start over" Buffy commanded, pointing her finger at him "and you tell me everything you know...I'm serious Riley"

Of course he knew she was serious, and hormonal, and possibly had a demon child growing inside of her. He knew Professor Walsh would be mad that he was telling the Slayer classified information, but he also knew the assumption had been made that these were facts she was already in possession of. Add to that the fact she could probably kill him five different ways before he even made it to the door and it seemed safest just to give up the info.

"You're having the hostiles child" the Iowa boy sighed, hating having to repeat such revolting facts "The DNA matches"

"But vampires, they can't..." Buffy frowned, not quite managing to finish her sentence with Riley looking at her.

"Vampires being sterile is a myth Buffy" he would have laughed at her naivity if the situation hadn't been so grave "You being the Slayer, I figured you'd know" he shrugged, before bitterly adding "but then I never thought you'd be stupid enough to sleep a demon"

The blonde sat down heavily in the chair by the desk. If not for the astounding news about her child she might have felt worse about Riley's 'stupid to sleep with a vampire' comment, given that she'd now given herself to two of them! But the revelation that she could be having a child that was the spawn of Spike was making her feel too many kinds of weirdness for anything else to register in her mind.

"This can't be happening" Buffy shook her head, causing more tears to fall from her eyes that stared blankly at the wall "Me and Spike, it was one time, and it was two months ago, I am way more than two months pregnant...right?" she addressed the final word to Riley, as she started to wonder if she was wrong about all this. She'd assumed she was a little less that four months since that was how long it'd been since her night with Parker, but no doctor had ever confirmed anything and she wasn't the world's biggest brain when it came to pregnancy or even her own body. It had been Spike that told her she hadn't had a period in quite some time, she might not have noticed so quickly if not for him. But still, she had to be more that two months pregnant - didn't she?

"The sensors put you at fifteen weeks when you visited last week that'd make you almost four months now" Riley agreed that Buffy had made a correct estimation. She made the mistake of sighing with evident relief. The commando hadn't finished yet, "but there's no denying that it's the Hostile's child. Maybe the pregnancy's faster cos you're the Slayer or because of what he is, I don't know..." he told her as she put her head in her hands and cried some more.

Riley was really feeling bad for her now. As disgusted as he was to think she would willingly giver herself up to an HST, when she'd barely let him touch her, he did really like her. For a while there he believed he loved her, but Professor Walsh had helped him out a lot, reminding him of what was important and right now his confused feelings for Buffy Summers just weren't as big a deal as the Initiative.

The Professor had a special project she was going to let him in on soon. Riley Finn was about to embark on a new adventure - Project 314, and he wasn't going to jeopardise his chances of doing so well just because of a Slayer who liked to bang vamps!

"I should go" he said eventually, though she barely noticed he'd spoken or moved. Her mind was in a whole other place of babies and dates and consequences to actions. When the door clicked closed behind a man who was effectively her latest ex, she just cried harder and there was no one there to comfort her.

- - - - - - - -

Spike had worked himself up into a frenzy by the time he reached the campus. He needed to know Buffy was okay. He wanted to be there for her when she needed him, and there was really only him she could turn to. Sure, her mother knew about the baby now, but as accepting as she'd been, both Spike and Buffy knew she wasn't one hundred percent comfortable with the idea of her little girl having a child of her own, at the age of nineteen and by a man she'd only slept with once!

The vampire was not amused when a boy and girl came crashing down the corridor, so interestedd in kissing and groping each other that they were bumping into every available thing in the building, including Spike. He rolled his eyes as he pushed his way around them and the girl giggled insanely before going back to kissing her man.

"Oh Parker" she sighed, and Spike whirled around in fury.

This little git standing a few feet from him, clearly planning on getting Little Miss Giggles out of her knickers tonight, was the same sod that had violated his precious Buffy and dumped her the very next day?! There wasn't time to wonder about the use of the phrase 'my precious Buffy' in his own mind because he was already moving towards the boy who'd caused so much trouble. He wrenched him off the girl with one yank on back of his jacket. Spinning him round, Parker barely had time to look shocked before he was struck across the face by Spike's fist.

Pain shot through his head, but the vampire barely felt it, the electric shocks were nothing compared to what he'd like to do to this kid. He was a special kind of scum that needed killing in a nice long painful way, Spike reckoned. Every time Parker made a valiant attempt to stand he was knocked back down, until the vamp was sure the boy was out cold.

All credit to the lad, he had some stamina to stay awake so long, but he might be unconscious for a couple of days the beating he'd just received. The girl he'd been with had run away, Spike realised probably because his game face had slipped into place as he released his anger on his prey.

When he finally came out of the bubble of pure anger, he felt the pain in his head and smelt his own blood as it ran out of his nose. The impact of the chip firing over and over had probably burst a blood vessel somewhere. It didn't matter, he couldn't worry about it now, there was far too much worry in him for Buffy, he didn't have any left for himself. Concentrating, he pulled his human features back into place and headed for her room.

- - - - - - - -

**__**

The Slayer's mind was in a complete whirl, with the possibilities and implications of what Riley had just told her. She sat with a calendar in her hands counting days and weeks, trying desperately to remember the exact date she'd last bled and comparing it with the date she'd slept with Parker and the day of Willow's Will Be Done spell when she and Spike had been together. Now that she looked at it, she realised a small mistake. If she was having Parker's baby, she would be seventeen weeks pregnant now, if it were Spike's she'd be eleven. Yet Riley told her the Initiative sensors had picked up she was fourteen weeks, last week. The explanation that her pregnancy could be faster due to her superpowers or indeed Spike's was plausible enough, but the whole thing was making her head spin and she desperately wished she had someone she could talk to about it.

A knock on the door made her jump. Maybe it was Willow, she could talk to her, although she'd have to start from the beginning and she wasn't sure she could manage it...

"Who is it?" Buffy called, sniffing and wiping her face with her hands. Depending on who it was she'd rather not look like a blubbering mess.

"It's me" came the English-accented reply and Buffy sighed. She wasn't sure if it was relief but it certainly felt like it and before she knew what she was doing she opened the door for him.

"You okay, luv?" he said as soon as he saw her. She was frowning hard but he didn't realise it was his own appearance causing that look until she told him.

"What happened to you?" she asked, guessing it was something supernatural and so grabbing his wrist and pulling him into the room away from prying ears and eyes.

"Oh, the blood" he realised what she meant and wiped his hand under his nose to remove some of it, "S'nothing really, chip just fired a little too much, probably burst a vessel" he explained, hovering in the middle of the room. Now he was here he didn't know where to begin and she seemed to be having the same problem.

"Sit down" she said after a while and he took a seat on the edge of the bed as she grabbed a box of tissues from the desk and came to sit beside him. Pulling a wad of tissue from the box she put her hand towards his face and he flinched away.

"What?" she asked, more harshly than she meant to, but he was being annoying and she really wasn't sure how to act around him right now.

"I dunno" he shrugged, "I came here to make sure you're okay and you wanna clean up my bloody nose?" he frowned "Used to be we were the first in line to see each other suffer" he told her.

"Things change" she said quietly, turning away from him, holding the tissue in her lap and looking down at it as her fingers ripped it to shreds of their own accord.

Spike didn't know what to make of that. Things change. Well, of course they did, nothing stayed the same forever, but what did it mean for them, him and the Slayer.

"Look, Buffy" he started awkwardly, not daring to look at her either, "Your mates, they'll be okay with the whole baby thing, same as your Mum was and..."

"Why did you tell her?" Buffy interrupted him, still staring at her own hands and the shredded paper between them, "Why did you tell Faith I was pregnant?"

"Only way I could think of to get her back here and have the spell done willingly" he explained, "Seems she gets most of her info from unsuspecting blokes anyway. She knew about my chip too. I called her on it, seems some of the Initiative boys were at a club just outside town, getting loose lipped after a few too many beers, mentioned yours truly and his affliction...speaking of, it's a bloody pain when you want to smack certain humans who deserve it. That git Parker was in the corridor, I gave him a bit of a going over..."

Spike was surprised to find his little ramble interrupted by Buffy sobbing her heart out.

"Hey now, Slayer, what did I say?" he asked somewhat worriedly. Buffy didn't have an answer, she could only cry and like an instinct reaction, Spike put an arm around her shoulders and pulled her too him. She went willingly into his embrace, feeling strangely warm and safe in the cold arms of her supposed enemy, but then there was apparently every chance he was also the father of her child.

"Come on, luv" he whispered into her hair, "S'not as bad as all that"

"Spike you have no idea how bad it is" she sobbed into his coat, making his dead heart clench in his chest.

"So tell me" he urged her, leaning away until he could see her face. She looked so young and innocent and terribly lost. If her next words hadn't been so important he might have kissed her then...

"Spike, the baby, it...it might be yours" she admitted in a tiny voice before crying all over him again.

A hundred emotions shot through the vampires body as he held the Slayer tighter and rocked her gently. He'd got her pregnant, or there was apparently a distinct possibility of it. That meant the 'vampires are impotent' thing could well be a myth. It also meant he might be a father after all, an idea he'd had to give up when he'd been turned, or so he thought. Finally it meant he may be the cause of so many of Buffy's tears these passed weeks. For that he hated himself, more than he thought possible. Somehow this girl had gone from enemy to friend to someone he loved dearly, and right now, though he'd never admit it, he was too afraid to say a word to her about any of it.

To Be Continued...

A/N2 : Thoughts? Comments? Opinions? All are welcome! :-)

[A new chapter of Life's Full of Surprises has also been posted tonight]


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: Hey, lots more nice people left reviews on my fic! Thanks to; Screeching Dragon, Spuffyfan4eva, Rachel, Freeziboncoolipants, kori hime, books41, little-lost-one, Samolly, Bunny, Semajyrrah, spuffyfan-1, Spuffyluvr, cocktailpk, libraflyter, SweetBitter, Hieiko, Eurika, Katie, Kari Mouke, rubi-elektra, aphelant, spikeswife1, WickedWiccan, adpi24, RedWulf, spikesqueen, ThursdayNext, TVP, Ramberbo, spikesbabyblues, MaidenRo, Alae Nefastus, SinisterChic Heather Martin, Culf, Shania Maxwell, Artemis Moonshine, Brittany, kransp, slayafreek, naiya-isis, Moluvsnumber17, Kristina, Malfeus - you guys all totally rock! I had this feeling that you might like the fact that it's really Spike's baby after all! The best part is, I had it planned all along, and nobody knew! ;-) Hope you like this chapter as much as the previous one...

(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 11

"Should we go find Buffy?" Willow broke the silence of the room with her question, "I mean, she probably needs a friend right now, right?" she looked between Giles, Xander and Tara, none of which really knew what to say to her. It was the Watcher that eventually answered.

"I think perhaps for now it might be best to leave her" he decided, "I think she knows better than to run too far, after the last time" he spoke of course of her unannounced trip to LA after she'd had to send Angel to hell. These days she was slightly more level-headed, or so he'd thought until a few minutes ago. A one night stand with a college boy and here she was, pregnant at the age of nineteen, with the likelihood of the boy in question helping out looking decidedly slim.

"I still can't believe she's having a kid, I mean, Buffy, our Buffy" Xander finally managed to form half a sentence but no more. Anya snorted.

"She's not your Buffy" she told her boyfriend, "She's her own person, and if her own person is so stupid not to use condoms for sex then why should it matter to you"

"Hey" Xander yelled, "Buffy is not stupid, and she's my friend"

"I get that" the ex-demon retorted, "But come on, Giles you have to back me up here. You're all old and stuffy, aren't you supposed to be all for young people having safe sex?"

Giles rubbed his eyes tiredly and sighed.

"Anya, it is a little late for such talk now" he pointed out, "What's done is done. For tonight I suggest you all go home and get some rest. Tomorrow we'll decide who should speak to Buffy first and what should be done regarding the slaying and so forth"

"Good plan, Giles" Willow shared a small smile with him. The witch was inordinately worried about her friend, but as Giles said, it might be best if Buffy were left alone for a while, "Could I..." she started as she turned to Tara, planning to ask if she could stay in her room tonight. Without waiting for the end of the question she nodded and the pair squeezed each others hands as they made for the door.

Each of the gang said goodbye to the rest and left, leaving Giles alone in his apartment once again. He suddenly felt decidedly old and useless, and very much a failure. He was no longer Buffy's official Watcher but she was the child of his own that he never had, Willow and Xander too, to an extent. He blamed himself somewhat for letting the blonde get into his mess, he only wished there was a simple way to get her out of it. He knew of course that there was not.

- - - - - - - - -

**__**

The Big Bad felt oddly at ease as he sat on the Slayers bed, legs stretched out in front of him and his back leaning against the head board. Buffy was half next to him, half on top of him, his arms holding onto her tight. She'd stopped crying a while ago, but had yet to say anything since the revelation her child might also be his. There was a hundred things Spike wanted and needed to say, quite a few of which were questions, but not one sentence, not one sound, had made it past his lips til now.

"Buffy, luv" he said gently, "How do you know the kid's mine? I thought we agreed before it couldn't be"

Sniffing loudly, she looked up at him and felt strangely guilty. These thoughts had been in her head, somersaulting around and making her feel nauseous of the past hour. It hadn't done her much good she thought, but she had time to get over the initial shock. Poor Spike didn't even know the half of it yet and he had a right to. He'd been so sweet to her since he'd found you she was pregnant, coming to the house when she told her mother, helping to capture Faith, beating on Parker when he thought the boy was to blame, and now just holding her as she cried.

"Riley was here" she began to explain, "When I visited the Initiative I got scanned by some sensor thingies...they know I'm pregnant and they know its yours, the baby has strands of your DNA"

"Bloody hell" Spike said flatly, blinking with wide eyes. That wasn't what he was expecting though truly he wasn't sure what he had thought she'd say. His bloody chip manufacturers knew about his kid before he did? Well, that was just bloody marvellous wasn't it?!

He noticed his body temperature dropping on one side, no longer warmed by Buffy's presence as she sat up and moved to the bottom edge of the bed away from him. He frowned knowing she was clearly not any more thrilled to be having his child that Parker soddin' Abrams brat, but it meant something to him. She had meant something to him, these past few weeks that he just couldn't fathom. Now he understood. It didn't matter how or why, she was having his child and that was the link between them. Here he was thinking he was going insane and all the time...

"I can't believe we made a baby" he said in a soft tone Buffy had never heard before. She turned slightly to look at him and was surprised to see the slight smile on his face. It disappeared as her red-rimmed eyes caught his.

"I know it's crap timing for you" he said as he scrambled down the bed to sit beside her again, "and I know we don't exactly get along too well, vampire and Slayer after all, but my God Buffy this is amazing"

"It's not amazing!" she half-yelled, so hoarse from crying that real shouting was impossible, "I never asked to be pregnant and you aren't supposed to be able to..." she trailed off trying to calm herself down, "It shouldn't be possible for you to make a baby" she said eventually, much quieter now than when she started. She was sort of surprised to realise that the thought of Spike's child was not as disgusting as she might have once thought. Really it was no worse than when she thought it was Parker's baby, in fact Spike had been more use to her and nicer recently. She'd seen Parker a couple of times in the hall and he'd just walked past like he didn't even know her. Through her thoughts she realised Spike was speaking to her and had picked up her hand in his.

"...and I know it's only a few months since we were trying to kill each other, but things are changing Buffy" he told her, "I've known for a while that things were different, mostly since that spell your little red witch cast" he smiled a little at the memory. If that was when this baby had been made and it seemed that it did indeed have to be, it almost would've been worth staying under the force of the magicks. That way he wouldn't feel so mixed up right now, an emotion it seemed Buffy was equally familiar with.

"I just don't know how to deal with this" she shook her head, looking down at her hand within his. The Slayer side of her brain was screaming to take her hand back, then pummel Spike for daring to touch her, for daring to think he had the right to be within spitting distance of the almighty Slayer. But the other side of her, the ordinary girl side, she was petrified, and the small amount of comfort this vampire was bringing her was very welcome.

"How are we supposed to bring up a kid?" she asked him suddenly.

"Dunno, pet" Spike admitted with a shrug, "Just something people know how to do I s'pose, like instinct"

"Spike, the only thing your instincts do is tell you to kill humans and have sex" she said bluntly, pulling her hand away at last. Inside she was having the biggest battle of her life. She wanted to lean on Spike, let him make it better. He'd been so nice to her lately, sharing her secret that she was too afraid to tell anyone else. Now it seemed it was his secret too, his child she was carrying, but he was still a demon and she was still supposed to want to kill him. The fact that she really didn't scared her more than anything else, including being pregnant.

"Yeah, and your main instinct is to put pointy pieces of wood through the hearts of my kind" he reminded her, "doesn't mean we can't raise a baby, somehow"

"Well maybe I don't want to raise your demon spawn!" she yelled, hot tears cascading down her face as she stood up. The truth was the anger she felt was not all at Spike. Most of it was at herself for letting this happen. It was starting to occur to her, as she insulted Spike that her child might be like him. Would she have a demon child? Was it possible? The gang could research but...oh God the gang!

Buffy only cried harder as she thought of her friends. They knew she was pregnant and that would've shocked them enough, but when they found out it was Spike that she'd made a baby with...

"Don't start yelling at me Slayer" Spike shot at her, getting to his feet, "Just cos you feel bad that you couldn't wait to shag me under that spell..."

"No" she interrupted, pouting her finger at him "Don't you dare mention that, that disgusting, perverted, magic-induced thing that we did, because it meant nothing, do you hear me?!"

"That's not what you said at the time, sweetheart" he leered, making her feel even more nauseous than she already did. Memories of thoughts and feelings and words they'd said in the heat of passion.

"You're a pig, Spike" she threw her favourite insult of the moment back in his face, "You're disgusting, evil, soulless and, and..." she racked her brains for words she couldn't find, and Spike took his opportunity to cross the room. He grabbed her wrists to still her arms that had been gesturing wildly, holding them tight in front of her now.

"And I'm the father of that child inside of you" he told her in a a dangerously low voice, face just inches from hers, "Don't you ever forget that"

Neither of them moved for a while and Buffy couldn't find her voice enough to speak. When their eyes met, she was almost convinced that the anger she saw was being replaced by something else, and for a split second she thought he might be about to kiss her. It was gone before her brain could fully process it and her anger was back even if his had dissipated.

"Get your hands off me" she said nastily, pulling her wrists from his grasp, "I don't know why I ever thought we could get along, I hate you!" she yelled, but Spike only smirked that annoyingly sexy smirk of his.

"Slayer, you sound like a five year old" he pointed out before turning his back and heading for the door.

"Drop dead!" she told him as he reached it.

"Already did" Spike pointed out, waiting for her reaction to that.

"Encore" she said with a smirk of her own making his fall off his face immediately. He stood there for a while, debating whether to leave or not. For the most part he hated the silly little bitch that stood not five feet way from him now, practically steaming she was so angry. Still, there was that little part he'd been trying to quash for weeks, that despite his better judgement had been growing bigger every time he saw the Slayer.

First he'd blamed it on the chip, now he could blame it on the kid. Surely his connection was with that blood link she carried and not actually with Buffy. So why did it bother him so much that despite the anger she still looked like she was about to cry all over again? With a final shake of his head he exited the room, slamming the door behind him.

As he walked away he tried to ignore the feelings that rose inside of him, the strange guilt that he might have hurt her with his words, and pain because she'd definitely got to him with hers.

Even if he could convince himself he hated her now, and that the slight feelings he had for her were caused by the unborn child, there was no way Spike could fool himself about that spell they'd been under. The adoration they had felt might have been magic-made but it had been real to them. When he and Buffy had crept up to Giles' bedroom and made love that day, it'd been the most intense and real thing he'd ever known. The scary thing was that those few times he'd held the Slayer recently, a small hint of those feelings had crept back.

As his mind finally admitted it to himself, Spike stopped walking right on the edge of the University grounds. He looked up at the window of Buffy's room and shook his head.

"A vampire in love with a Slayer..." he said quietly to himself, before looking back towards the cemetery, clearly angry as well as disturbed by the idea "Bugger that!"

- - - - - - - - -

When Spike finally left her alone, Buffy couldn't help but cry some more. She could blame her hormones, she thought, as she sat on her bed with her head in her hands. She could blame shock and fear of the unknown, but deep down she knew that the vampire who had recently left the room was another very real reason why she was in tears. Having a baby scared Buffy, but the tiny part of her that wasn't disgusted by the thought of Spike being her child's father scared her more.

It would have been different if she'd got pregnant by Angel. He had a soul and she loved him. Spike was evil. Chipped and therefore mostly not dangerous, but still soulless and pure demon. Even as Buffy thought the words she had trouble believing them. Maybe two years ago when Spike first crashed into town he was like that but now, he'd shown he had a softer side, a human side. He wasn't the same as Angel, but then no two people were ever the same. Vampires were a kind of people, more so than most other demons.

Buffy sighed as she tried to justify both her hate and her like for the bleached blond vamp and found she had trouble doing either. A glance at the clock told her it was past eleven and no doubt Willow would be home soon with a million questions she wanted answers too. Then tomorrow she'd have to face Giles and Xander. The Slayer shook her head at the very thought. Even if her friends could accept her pregnancy there was no way they'd understand she was having Spike's baby. If she was going to tell them that she'd have to admit to sleeping with him and even after blaming that on the spell it was going to be complicated.

Buffy realised that for the moment she had one choice. She could stay and face the gang or she could head over to her mother's house and hide. Of course, the second option did mean having to tell Joyce the real truth that she herself had discovered tonight.

"I hope you're in a good mood Mom" Buffy said to herself as she pulled on her jacket and headed for the door, "Cos there's something I have to tell you"

To Be Continued...

A/N2 : I hope you all still want t read this fic, even though I made Spike and Buffy argue...it's supposed to be Season 4 though so I figured they still wouldn't get along so well, even if she is having his kid. Anyway, please review and let me know what you think, and for those that are interested, I'll be posting the final chapter and epilogue of Life's Full Of Surprises in the next day or two :-)


	12. Chapter 12

A/N : Thanx for all the great reviews on the previous chapter; libraflyer, Katie, Screeching Dragon, zanthinegirl, Freezyboncoolipants, iluvglorfindel, Artemis Moonshine, TVP, SweetBitter, Bunny, Rachel, Shania Maxwell, Kelley, azrielle-kitty, ChibiChibi, Melphis, Kim, ann, spikewife1, Moluvsnumber17, slayafreek, theoneandonlygurl, MaidenRo, rubi-elektra, Moonglow13, AraelMoonchild, fearlessbuffy, Spuffyfan4eva, clairamalfoy; this is for you lot. I worked through a particularly nasty headache to get this chapter done for today. I was so determined to get it done because it's been a week since I last updated this story! Hope you feel that it was worth the effort...

(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 12

"Buffy?" Joyce was surprised to find her daughter on the doorstep, "I was just going to bed, is everything okay?" she asked as she let her into the house. The blonde barely made it over the threshold before she was crying again, going gladly into her mother's arms for a hug.

"Oh sweetheart, whatever's wrong?" Joyce asked worriedly, leading Buffy over to the couch and sitting them both down. After a few moments the younger woman was calm enough to answer.

"Mom, what I said before, about the baby not being Spike's..." she said, sniffing and wiping her face clear of tears with the back of her hand, "It turns out that it is" she admitted quietly. To her credit Joyce managed to control her reaction pretty well.

"Buffy, I thought you told me that vampires couldn't....well, have children" she said as delicately as she could. Buffy sniffed again before she answered.

"That's what I thought, it's what Giles and all the books always said" the Slayer nodded, "I don't understand how this happened, but it did and...Mom, do you hate me?"

"Oh Buffy" her mother looked like she might cry as she pulled her into a hug, "You may be the Slayer, and your own woman now, and sometimes you might do questionable things, but never ever doubt that I love you"

"I'm so scared Mom" Buffy cried on her shoulder, "I've faced all kinds of hell, and yeah, I get scared about it, but this is something else. My slaying skills can't help me now"

"Sweetie" Joyce smiled, urging her daughter to sit up again so she could see her face, "when I found out I was carrying you, I was already married to your father. I was settled into a nice house, we had enough money and we were so happy" she told her, making Buffy frown.

"But I don't have all that" she reminded her mother.

"That's my point" Joyce explained, "Despite all that, I was still scared. Pregnancy is a traumatic time for a woman. You're body is changing, your hormones are going crazy, plus you know that eventually you're going to have an extra person in your life, a person that's going to mean more to you than anything else in the world" she smiled as if remembering something fondly as she pushed her little girls hair out of her face.

"Mom, I think I have to go away" Buffy said softly almost afraid of the reaction it would cause. Joyce looked like she was going to explode, but spoke fairly calmly.

"Oh no Buffy, you can't run away from this" she pointed out, "You can't outrun what is happening to your own body"

"I know" the Slayer was quick to answer, "I get that, I do" she assured her worried-looking mother, "but I just don't think I can handle the whole baby thing and my friends at the same time" she said sadly, picking at a loose thread on the sleeve of her jacket.

"Do they know about the baby now?" Joyce asked, trying to see Buffy's face but failing as she kept her head down.

"They know I'm pregnant but they don't know it's Spike's baby" she admitted.

"And Spike?" her mother checked, "Does he know?"

Buffy nodded slowly, knowing already what Joyce's next question would be and answering it before it was asked.

"He seemed confused, like me" she said, "but...we kinda fought"

"Fought?" Joyce was worried what way she should take that. Were they talking a heated verbal spat or a full on vamp/slayer fist fight?

"We said stuff, mean stuff" Buffy said, somewhat guiltily, "Before it was normal, we always fought but now I feel bad about it and I hate him for making me feel this way!" she started out sounding sorry but ended up much louder and a little angry.

Joyce shook her head and tried not to smile. It was beginning to look as if Buffy and Spike were less enemies and more friends these days. Maybe given time and the birth of their child they would find a way to be even more than friends. Fond memories came to mind again as she remembered herself and Hank enjoying some good arguments when they first started out, always made even more fun by the making up that came later. She blushed in spite of herself.

"Baby, maybe you should talk to Spike" Joyce ventured carefully. She knew how tempestuous her daughter could be. Mix that with pregnant woman's hormones and a Slayer's temper, Joyce was being very careful what she said and how she said it.

"No, no, no, no" Buffy got up from the sofa and paced up and down, waving her arms emphatically as she repeated her negative response, "There will be no more talkage with Spike. About anything. Ever"

"But Buffy..." Joyce tried to appeal to her daughters good sense, assuming of course such a creature existed, "He has rights too you know"

"Mom, he's a vampire!" she whined like a kid complaining about having to sit near a boy because he had cooties!

"He's also the father of your child Buffy" Joyce pointed out sensibly, "I understand it's complicated because of your roles in life, but you two are going to have to figure this out"

Buffy shook her head in the negative as she dropped back down onto the seat beside her mother.

"I've already figured it out, Mom" she sighed, reaching over to put her hand on Joyce's, "I know you hate the idea but I really think I need to go away for a while, get some perspective and stuff"

There was silence as mother considered the idea and daughter held her breath, fearing some kind of lecture about responsibility and such.

"Maybe you're right" she heard her mother say, almost passing out from the shock, "Maybe a little time alone is what you need"

Buffy was about to speak when she was quickly interrupted by her mother pointing a finger and looking stern.

"But you have to promise me you'll be back, young lady, and you call me often" she ordered, her tone softening as tears came to her eyes, "I can't take not knowing where you are or what's happening to you all over again"

The Slayer herself felt as if she might cry to as she reached over to hug her mother once again. She was so glad to have a Mom that cared so much about her. Sometimes it felt like a chore, constantly having to tell her where she was going and what she was doing, but at times like this, it was comforting to know there was someone who was always on her side no matter what.

"I promise to let you know where I am and call every couple of days with updates, okay?" Buffy sniffed as she pulled away from her mother at last and felt two tears slide down her cheeks.

"Okay" Joyce nodded once, causing her own tears to fall, "and remember that no matter what, you'll always be my little girl"

"Thanks, Mommy" Buffy wiped her tears from her face, "God look at us" she forced a smile, "Crying like a pair of silly bints" she stopped short when she realised what she'd said and why. Total Spike-ism. Thankfully, either Joyce didn't notice, or more likely she just didn't mention it.

"Where are you going to go?" she was eager to know as she reached for the box of tissues, taking one herself and handing another to Buffy.

"Well..." the younger blonde considered, blowing her nose before she continued, "I can't face the questions from my Dad, and Angel would be worse, so that counts out a large part of LA" she shrugged.

"I have one idea" Joyce said as she got up from the sofa and crossed the room. She opened up a drawer and pulled something out before heading back to sit next to her daughter.

"You remember I mentioned Mr Rogers who comes to the gallery a lot? Well, I did him this great deal on some artwork he wanted for his wife's birthday. It was very important to him, something about when they first met and..." she tailed off when Buffy looked both bored and agitated, "Anyway, he was so thrilled that he gave me the keys to a little get-away place he has in Santa Monica..." she held up the keys to her daughter with an unsure smile on her face, "It's not too far away, but maybe far enough for you to get a little perspective. Mr Rogers said we were free to use it anytime, he hardly ever goes there"

The keys were still there, dangling between Joyce's fingers inches from Buffy's own.

"All I have to do is call him and tell him you'll be there for a while, if you want to go that is" she prompted her daughter, who eventually smiled.

"Call him" she nodded, taking the keys and hugging her mother tightly, "Thankyou so much for helping me out with this, Mom"

"I'm your mother, it's what I'm supposed to do" came the reply, "even if it doesn't always seem that way"

- - - - - - -

Spike had done a lot of thinking these past few hours, and he was still no further forward. He was slightly more drunk, a lot more tired, and a little bit more hungry, but he was definitely no further in figuring out what was going on between him and Buffy, or what he was going to do about it.

She meant something to him, he knew he had to admit that much. The problem came when trying to measure how much he liked her and also where that feeling came from.

The first moment he'd seen her he'd known she was attractive, a man would have to blind not to notice she was hot, but he'd still wanted to kill her. She Slayer, him vampire - very simple really, one kills the other. In the end death was imminent for one at least and he'd intended on it being her.

When they'd banded together against Angelus, that had been for Dru's sake, and not an excuse to get closer to the Slayer at all, at least that's what he'd told himself at the time. Drusilla had soon seen it differently when they reached Brazil. Was she seeing back then what was happening now? Or had this tiny feeling for Buffy been inside him all along? Had his inability to hunt and kill, coupled with their magic-induced engagement, made seething hate with a side order of lust turn into some kind of mixed up affection?

A noise in the upper level pulled Spike from his thoughts and he crept up the ladder, knife in hand to be on the safe side. Since he'd patrolled with the Slayer a couple of times the demon community had started to talk and he wasn't exactly Mr Popular at the moment.

Spike emerged from the hole into the top level and walked over to the door where the noise was coming from. It was clear that someone or something wanted in. With the knife raised high he yanked open the door only to be confronted by the last thing he expected to see - a terrified woman with her hand on her chest as she tried to calm down.

"Oh God, Spike. You scared me half to death" Joyce exclaimed and he hastily hid the knife behind his back like a naughty school boy. Mrs Summers was a decent enough woman and she'd been fairly nice to him actually. He didn't fancy getting caught with a blade aimed at her.

"Hello Joyce" he said uncertainly, "Do be specific and tell a fella, what's a lady like yourself doing in this kinda place, and at this time of night?" he frowned.

"Looking for you actually" she explained, swallowing hard as her shock subsided, "Buffy mentioned which cemetery you lived in and there are only four crypts that looked big enough to be habitable. It wasn't so hard to find you" she shrugged slightly as if it were no big deal, though they both knew it was.

"Bloody dangerous task" Spike pointed out incredulously, finding the thought of this woman being torn limb from limb a might disturbing, especially since she was Buffy's Mum.

"I learnt from the best" Joyce smiled slyly, pulling her own weapon from behind her back - a very pointy stake.

"Ah, yeah" Spike took a step back as the woman he saw as distinctly amateur when it came to slaying, waved aforementioned stake in his general direction "might wanna watch what you're doing with that y'know" he told her.

"Of course" she said putting her hand back down by her side, though Spike noticed she kept a tight grip on it at all times. In his book that made her more sensible than most women he knew.

They stood there for an uncomfortable moment before he spotted her looking over his shoulder into the crypt, as well as shivering slightly from the cold night air.

"Oh, come in" he moved away from the door, throwing the knife behind him as he did so.

"Thankyou" she said as she entered the room, pretending not to notice the metal skittering across the stone floor into the corner "Well, this is...I love what you've neglected to do with the place" she commented, unsure as to what the best thing to say about a vampire's lair was.

"Yeah, right, er, you wanna sit down?" Spike asked absently, removing his coat and fags from the armchair and dusting it off her. She thanked him as she sat down, facing the stone sarcophagus which Spike hopped up onto. There he sat cross-legged, waiting for her to explain why she had come visiting, but no explanation came.

"Er, Joyce?" he got her attention away from his lack of decor and back onto him, "Did Buffy ask you to come here?" he really couldn't see why she would have, since the Slayer really didn't trust him, but what other reason could the woman have for being there?

"Oh Lord no, she has no idea I'm here" Joyce shook her head "You should have heard what she said when I just suggested she talk to you about the baby"

"I can imagine" Spike snorted, having by now learnt all the Slayers favourite insults by heart, he'd heard them so often "Hold on" he suddenly frowned with realisation "She told you it was my kid?" he checked, taking a cigarette from the packet and placing it between his lips.

"She did" Joyce confirmed as she watched him take the lighter from his back pocket, fire up the cigarette and blow out the smoke, never once taking his eyes off her.

"And you came here planning to use that thing in your hand on me, did you?" he nodded towards the stake she still held, seriously wondering now if he was going to exist by the end of this conversation. Joyce wasn't exactly Slay-girl material but with his little handicap, it was almost scary when the Whelp had a piece of wood in his hand, and Joyce was tougher than that pansy!

"No" she assured him "I'm not going to use this unless I have to" she promised, before getting to the real reason why she was there "Look, Spike, teenage girls, they get pregnant sometimes, and it's not easy but they cope, if they have help from their family and friends" he listened carefully, thoughtfully blowing out smoke from his cigarette as she continued "I plan on helping my daughter get through this, and I'm going to love my grandchild so much, no matter what"

"Joyce, it isn't..." Spike shook his head, trying to work out what he meant to say "it changes things y'know, me being the father"

"I know that" she nodded, assuring him she wasn't stupid "but I also know that Buffy's world is different to other girls. Vampires and demons and magic, it's all a part of her everyday life" Spike nodded slightly that it was true, as Joyce continued, "Spike, I'm not saying I understand it all, but I have learnt to accept it"

That was what made her a pretty amazing woman, Spike realised, the fact that she could accept this weird world that her daughter was a key part of. It wasn't easy, it didn't make sense, but she'd try for a person she loved so much.  
"Still doesn't explain why you're here" he shot back, that one question still bothering him. It was hardly normal for anyone to be wandering around graveyards at night, especially looking to get in a friendly tête-à-tête with the local muzzled vampire, but the last person he expected to be paying him social calls was the Slayer's mother!

"Buffy's scared" the vampire was pretty sure those words had never been put together by anyone else before "she'd never admit it to you or her friends, but she told me. Mostly I don't even think it's because she's having a child with a vampire, it's just that she's having a child. She feels very alone"

"She wouldn't be alone if she let me help her" Spike said somewhat angrily, throwing his now spent cigarette to the ground and stamping on it slightly more fiercely than was really necessary.

"Do you know how many times I've said that?" Joyce rolled her eyes and smiled before turning serious again "She's going away, just for a while" she spoke quickly so as not to be interrupted by the irritated vamp "She told me not to tell you til she was gone and I'm certainly not supposed to tell you exactly where she is but..." the rest of the sentence wasn't needed as she handed him a piece of paper from her bag and let him see from himself. On it was an address for an apartment in Santa Monica.

"Not that I don't appreciate this" Spike gestured with the paper "but why are you doing this Joyce?" he asked with interest. Joyce sighed.

"You're the one person she specified that she didn't want to see" she told him "and knowing my Buffy the way I do, I think you're the only person she probably should" she smiled in a somewhat devious manner and Spike almost laughed.

"Mother logic?" he guessed, sitting back down on the edge of the stone coffin behind him.

"Slayer's Mother logic" Joyce amended, trying equally as hard not to giggle. It barely occurred to her that she was having this conversation with a so-called evil and soulless demon. He was just Spike, and in so many ways the boy he would appear to be, to anyone who didn't know about the secrets of Sunnydale's night life.

"She gone already?" Spike's question broke her train of thought.

"No, she's at the house" she told him before dropping her voice down to a whisper, despite the empty room "Look the fact is, I have this plan..." she began to explain and Spike's smirk grew as he listened. 'Who knew that Buffy's cunning streak didn't come from the Slayer line?' he thought idly 'It just came from the Summers genes'

To Be Continued...

A/N2 : It's actually quite complicated trying to find the right balance between nasty and nice for Spike in this fic. It's Season 4 but his feelings for Buffy are coming on a lot faster than on the show where it didn't fully happen til Season 5. Anyway, tell me what you think by pressing that little button down there and sending a review my way please. More coming soon, and in the meantime you could always read the first chapter of my new all-human fic Who's That Guy? [subtle hint] ;-)


	13. Chapter 13

A/N : Thanx to; libraflyter, Screeching Dragon, Malfeus, Freezyboncoolipants, RoczniakB, fangfaceAndrea, samica, Spuffyfan4eva, sunnyhell, Electra126, wicked-angel3, books41, TaniTKD, RiddicksBabyGirl, Katie, Lucky-112, spuffyfan-1, Kim, Linda, Jovial, Red Wulf, ms trick, kathypg, MaidenRo, iluvglorfindel, Spuffyluvr, fearlessbuffy, Artemis Moonshine, aphelant, rubi-elektra, lrieder, Rachel, naiya-isis, Bunny, Dreamzone, Moonlight-is-Innocence, Kelley, electricgurl, for all the latest reviews. Good to know that you still like the story, and that you think that Spike is written well. Let's hope those facts are still true by the end of this chapter...

(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 13

Buffy did a lot of thinking on her way down to Santa Monica. It was an fairly short journey, but it still gave her mind plenty of time to wander and consider every aspect of her life. More than once she thought of jumping off the bus at the next station, turning around and going straight back to Sunnydale, to ride out the storm as it were, but a moment to consider the reaction of her friends was enough to change her mind right back again.

Giles would be so disappointed in her, not just because of the baby, but because of who the father was. Willow might understand, but Buffy knew her best friend too well. She knew the red-head would feel guilty for inadvertently causing the spell that led to the baby make-age, and she just couldn't deal with that right now.

Xander, well, he could barely stand the idea of Angel, and Buffy knew he thought even less of his un-souled grand-childe. Her thoughts then landed on Spike. She'd said some awful things to him, and for once she truly felt sorry for it. She'd tried telling herself he was a worthless demon, but since finding out he was the father of her unborn child, she'd been forced to remember just how wonderful he could be.

When they were under the thrall of Willow's spell and they'd been in love, well, he was still a pain in the ass, but he was also so kind and attentive. When he looked at her she could physically feel the love coming at her from his expressive blue eyes, and when he'd made love to her it was the most beautiful thing in the world. It was just the spell, that's what she'd told herself, but since then, even before he knew the baby was his, he'd been there for her.

The first to know she was pregnant and the last person she expected to help her, Spike had been a complete surprise. How he'd held her when she cried, cleverly convinced her to tell her mother the truth, pretty much saved the day when Faith pulled the body swap, and beaten up Parker despite the pain his chip caused. He'd even divulged secrets of his human self, and acted as if he were perfectly willing to be a proper father to their child.

All these thoughts were taking the ninety-ninth trip around Buffy's head when she arrived at the apartment, a suitcase in one hand, a bag over her shoulder and the keys dangling between her fingers as she stood by the front door.

A little alone time was what she needed, she realised as she manoeuvred her luggage enough to get her hand holding the key towards the lock. Some time out here, with the sun and the beach, thinking about the good and the bad and trying to find a way through it all without interruptions.

The door swung open as she pushed it and she took in the room. Spacious and nicely furnished, natural tones of cream and pale peach, clearly Mrs Rogers had done most of the decor. It looked relaxing and peaceful, with a large sofa and armchair to relax in and a vampire on the coffee table...what?!

"What the hell are you doing here?!" Buffy exploded angrily, shoving her bags onto the floor.

"And Hello to you too, pet" Spike smirked annoyingly from where he sat, all Buffy's thoughts about him being such a great person always disappeared when that smirk surfaced again.

"How did you...?" she was going to ask how he ended up in what was supposed to be her sanctuary when she suddenly realised the how really wasn't as important as "Why are you here?" she asked more tired that angry now. The lack of sleep last night, as well as the trip had taken it's toll, plus the overload of thoughts and feelings that she'd been having really hadn't helped.

"I would've thought that was obvious" the vampire rolled his eyes before reaching into the back pocket of his jeans. Buffy backed up a step, a reflex action as her Slayer instincts told her he was going to pull a weapon on her.

"It's a letter, you silly bint, not an unexploded bomb" Spike found he was quite angry to think that she felt he might hurt her, after all that had occurred these past few weeks. He held out the envelope to her and she eyed it warily before taking it from his hand. She read her name, written on the front in handwriting she knew so well.

"Mom?" she frowned as she tore it open and read the letter inside. Spike didn't know precisely what was written on the sheet of paper the Slayer now held, but Joyce had told him the gist of it.

She wanted them to do some talking, Buffy and him, work out what was going to happen when the little bit came along and such. He wasn't totally certain that Mrs Summers plan was the best ever, in fact he had doubts as to whether he was ever going to leave Santa Monica as anything other than a big pile of dust, but he'd risk it. Why did it all matter so much to him? The Slayer and the baby and what might happen to them if they were left alone out here? Spike was certain now that if he wasn't in love Buffy, then he was well on the way to falling.

"Why, Mom?" he suddenly realised Buffy was speaking, to the ceiling no less, but he figured that was partly because the person she was asking the question of wasn't actually there and partly because she didn't want him to see the tears he knew she was crying.

"She just wants us to talk, Slayer" Spike supplied, "like two reasonable adults, if you can manage it"

Buffy shot him a look for that remark but didn't have the strength to argue. With a sulky expression, like a child that had been told she will sit in the corner til she learnt to behave, Buffy tossed the letter down on the table beside the vampire, and sat herself down in the armchair to the side.

"You wanna talk? Fine, talk" she told him, folding her arms across her chest, "but I have nothing to say to you"

Spike sighed, looking heavenward as he shifted on the table til he was facing her. She was pretty much impossible, very stubborn, often far too emotional, and had the tendency to behave like a five year old when things didn't go precisely how she wanted them to. Still, Spike also knew she was passionate and kind and beautiful, and she knew how to piss him off like no one else could. It came down to the fact that there was a lot more he liked about her these days than he hated, and he wanted her to know that.

The problem was he wasn't so good with words, it'd always been through actions that he had proved himself to others, ever since he'd become a vampire anyway. As a human he'd been an awful poet, crap with words as well being too weak to hold his own in any kind of fight. Now it seemed he needed to find a way to verbalise what he was feeling. Easier said then done, but he figured showing her the other way was going to earn him a slap at best and a good staking at worst.

"Buffy" he began at last, "I know this is not how you planned your life to be, and I don't mean the Slayer thing or any of that, I'm talking about the baby" he explained, "Thing is, I know finding out I'm the father is probably even more disgusting to you than thinking it was that git Parker" he said sadly and Buffy suddenly wanted to tell him it wasn't but he didn't stop talking long enough for her to get a word in, "but this is a big deal to me" he told her, "I'm not supposed to be able to have kids, at least that's what all the bloody books say, and now it seems it's really happening" he paused for a moment, but the Slayer found there was a lump in her throat that prevented her from saying a word, "I've changed Buffy, and yeah, some of that is the chip, but even before that...I haven't been the same since I first turned up in Sunnyhell. Dru noticed, before I did, but now I'm starting to get it. It wasn't her leaving that did it, or this piece of silicon they shoved up my brain, I think it's all something to do with you"

He finally managed to keep his eyes on her for that last part. For the whole speech he'd been studying the floor or the walls, though he could feel her eyes burning into him. Still, for that final declaration, such as it was, he looked right into her eyes with his own and waited for some kind of reaction. He did not expect what he got as she put a hand up to her face and cried like a child.

At first he was unsure why precisely she was in tears. It didn't seem like she was disgusted, which was a good start, but she was definitely upset and that wasn't good. Taking a chance, he got up from the edge of the table and perched himself on the arm of the chair instead, daring to wrap an arm around her back. She leaned into his embrace, still sobbing her heart out and still not truly understanding, Spike just held her tight, with both arms now.

Eventually her crying slowed to a stop and she pulled away from him sharply, seemingly just realising what she was doing.

"I can't deal with this right now" she choked out, wiping her face with her hands and trying to be calm, "I can just about cope with my own feelings and the thought of this baby, but Spike, I can't handle your feelings too, not right now"

The vampire nodded absently. He'd just wanted her to know he was on her side and that he'd stand by her and all that rot, instead it seemed she'd thought he wanted something from her, something she didn't have right now. All in all it was looking like he'd made matters worse.

"Buffy?" it seemed she was determined not to look at him so he pulled himself off the arm of the chair and repositioned himself, crouching on the floor by her feet, "Buffy, I don't want anything from you" he told her, "I don't totally understand what I'm feeling myself so I could hardly expect you to know" he admitted, "but I do know that we're going to get through this" he promised her. When she looked like she was going to run, he took hold of her hands, and she looked back down at him.

"Do you believe me?" Spike checked, her expression unreadable to him.

"I don't know" she admitted, "This is all seems insane, and I don't know how I'm pregnant or why I can't hate you as much as I should...but I want to believe you" she told him, sniffing back further sobs.

"Well" Spike smiled slightly, "That's a start I s'pose"

- - - - - -

Joyce watched the hands of the clock on the wall of her office at the gallery. It was several hours since Buffy had caught the bus down to Santa Monica and she knew by now she'd have arrived and found Spike waiting. Joyce would have been proud of her decidedly cunning plan if she were not quite so worried it was all going to go wrong. The only flaw Spike had found was the invitation that he would need from the apartment's owner if he was going to get past the barrier at the door. She'd promised that wouldn't be a problem as she handed him the letter she wanted him to give to Buffy when the girl arrived at the place, and told him to set off as soon as he could.

Joyce barely slept once she got home and soon found it was time to rise and shine despite the fact she'd hardly closed her eyes at all. Buffy had headed off to fetch her things from the dorm as soon as she knew Willow would be in classes and Joyce had taken the opportunity to call Mr Rogers again. She told him Buffy would be taking her friend down to Santa Monica with her, and they would both be staying at the apartment, if that was okay. Some carefully worded questions soon had him saying those magic words 'If you trust Buffy and Spike, Joyce, then so do I. They are both perfectly welcome to use the place anytime they like' It seemed that was enough of an invite, since Spike had called Joyce, as instructed when he arrived.

The hands on the clock said just about lunch time and Joyce knew she was running out of ways to put off going to tell Rupert the truth about Buffy and her baby. She had promised her daughter that she wouldn't say where exactly she'd gone and she had already decided in her own mind it was best not to mention Spike's presence at the apartment.

"Joanna, I'm going for my lunch break now" she told her assistant, "I have my cell with me in case you have any problems, but I shouldn't be more than an hour" she promised. The girl said she was fine and told Joyce to have a nice lunch break.

The older woman sighed as she headed out of the front door of the gallery, thinking how best to word the news she had to give to Buffy's friends, Truth was, she was more worried about Buffy and Spike and what was happening where they were.

- - - - - -

"I think we all know why we're here" Giles called the Scooby meeting to order, consisting of Tara and Willow on his sofa and Xander in the opposite armchair with Anya on his lap "When Willow went back to the University this morning, it appeared that Buffy was not there and appeared not to have been all night"

"She's probably at her Mom's though, right?" Xander shrugged, not wanting to think about any other options. Bad things happening to his girls was not an option.

"I tried to call Joyce but she wasn't home" Giles told him "and the gallery phone has been engaged for most of the day" he sighed, removing his glasses and rubbing a hand over his tired face "I'm afraid we have to face the possibility that she has run away, again"

"She wouldn't go to LA again though, would she?" Willow put in her own opinion, closely followed by Anya, who shockingly agreed with her.

"That's where Angel is, right? I doubt he'd be too happy if she showed up on his doorstep carrying another man's child"

"That is a valid point" Giles was forced to agree, though he was rather surprised that the ex-demon had come up with it "but it's hard to know where else she might have gone"

All five of them looked puzzled and thoughtful as they tried to come up with an idea of where their friend might have gone, but their question was to be answered by another occupant of the room, one they hadn't even noticed was there.

"I can answer that question" said a female voice just inside the doorway.

"Joyce?" Giles looked surprised to see her, especially since she'd got into his apartment without him noticing.

"The door was open" she smiled, closing it again and walking over to where the Scoobies sat "You don't need to worry about Buffy, I know where she is and she's safe"

"Oh thank goddess" Willow gasped, she and Tara making room on the sofa for Joyce to join them "Where is she?"

"I can't tell you that" Mrs Summers looked down at her hands playing with the strap of her purse "She just wanted me to let you know she was okay" she assured them, looking over to Giles as she added "and she'll call you soon Rupert"

"Why would she run away again?" Willow looked upset that her friend would rather go off alone than talk to her about he problems. It was true the two of them had been drifting apart a little lately but had it really gotten this bad? "Okay, so her being pregnant, kind of a shock, but we'd be supportive, even if it is stinky Parker man's baby" she added with distaste. That gang all looked ready to agree until Joyce shook her head.

"It's not Parker's baby" she admitted "that's why Buffy went away. She was worried that you wouldn't understand"

Giles glasses were now being furiously polished as surprises came hurtling in from left right and centre. Xander reached across Anya' legs to pick up his bottle of soda from the table.

"Who could be worse than that jerk?" he scoffed, before putting the bottle to his lips.

"The father of the baby" Joyce sighed "is Spike"

The Coke in Xander's mouth made a world record worthy leap across the room as shock went through his body, the convulsion almost sending Anya tumbling to the ground. At the very same moment there was an audible crack as Giles' glasses polishing became a little too severe and the frames of his spectacles completely gave in under the pressure.

"Impossible!" the ex-Watcher practically exploded as Anya tried to clean up Xander and Willow's mouth dropped open like a fish.

"Y'know Buffy said that you'd say that" Joyce half-smiled at the strange scene before her "Apparently Riley told her" she explained further "the er...oh, whats it called...?" she asked as her mind went blank.

"I-Is it the I-Intiative?" Tara filled in, apparently the only person out of the Scoobies who was able to form an type of sentence right now. It made sense since she didn't know Buffy or the gang half so well, shocking news is less shocking when the people involved are not so close to you.

"Oh yes, the Initiative" Joyce nodded as she continued "Apparently when Buffy visited with Riley there were some scanners that she didn't know about. The sensors picked up on her pregnancy and I really don't understand how" she admitted "but they matched parts of the baby's DNA to records they had on Spike" when no-one answered her she continued to speak, just to fill the awkward silence "I don't think Buffy told me all the details, I was so confused by the basic facts that there was little point" she almost laughed but thought better of joking at a time like this.

"Good Lord" Giles sat back in his chair, tossing his now useless glasses onto the table "Vampire's fathering children" he shook his head "this is just...unprecedented"

"It never happens either" Xander pointed out, as usual missing the point.

"Poor Buffy" Willow felt awful for her friend and was glad of her girlfriend's arm around her shoulders.

"Poor Buffy?" Anya looked surprised by that comment "Personally I'd be saying congratulations to her. I mean, she must have had sex with Spike and we all know what great lovers vampires can be" she said, straight out and unashamed, as the ex-demon was prone to do. Xander shuddered involuntarily.

"There's a mental image I didn't need"

"But Buffy and Spike" Willow frowned, looking between her girlfriend and Giles "she wouldn't...y'know, with him"

"No..." Giles agreed, thinking it was terribly strange, before a nasty thought hit him and he sat up sharply "no" he repeated looking directly at Willow "not unless she was under a spell that made her believe she was in love with him"

All eyes went to the red head who suddenly felt sick with guilt.

"It's all my fault?" she realised, tears coming to her eyes, pushing herself further into Tara's embrace.

"I d-don't understand" the other witch looked to the gang for explanation a Willow cried on her shoulder.

"Willow performed a Will Be Done spell, shortly after Oz's departure" Giles sighed, wishing his glasses were not broken, he really felt the need to polish them right now "It didn't exactly go according to plan"

"Understatement of the century!" Xander pretty much yelled, sitting up straighter and almost losing his grip on Anya for a second time "I was a demon magnet, Giles was blind, and Buffy and Spike thought they were engaged!" he explained, with a wild arm gesture and an unhappy expression.

"Wow..." was all Tara could find to say. She'd had no idea Willow had been quite so powerful before they'd even met. She also felt desperately sorry for her girl, who was currently blaming herself entirely for something that was clearly an accident.

"I didn't mean to, and I'm sorry" the red-head sobbed still, and Joyce took pity on her, reaching to put a hand on her shoulder.

"Willow, come on, there's no use in worrying about it now" she told her in that soothing tone that only mothers seem to have "What's done is done and we'll just have to cope with it" she told her, finally helping the witch to stop her tears, but only just. The gang were still mostly in shock at the news, but thankfully they weren't blaming Buffy so far. Joyce had dreaded them having the reaction her daughter was sure they would - disgust and hate. If that had been true, knowing Buffy the way she did, Joyce knew the chances of her coming home were slim.

"Look I'm sorry but I can't stay, I really have to get back to the gallery" Mrs Summers said, as she checked her watch and stood up.

"Thankyou for letting us know, Joyce" Giles said absently, managing half a smile a woman he'd come to know quite well these past couple of years.

"You're welcome" she nodded once "and don't feel too badly Willow" she told her right before she left "For what it's worth, I really don't think Buffy is blaming you"

The only sound in the room was the front door clicking shut, and so the silence remained for several minutes as the group of friends let the news sink in. Buffy was having Spike's child and the only reason anyone knew was because Faith and Riley had let things slip.

"So what now?" Xander asked finally. The others looked bemused and he cringed when Anya opened her mouth to answer.

"Can't we get a hold of Riley?" she suggested "I mean, he's a commando right, can't we just grab him, tie him up, shine a light in his face until he tells us more useful stuff?"

"Ahn..." Xander rolled his eyes, but Giles interrupted whatever admonishment the boy was about to use.

"No Xander, although Anya may have gone a little over the top as it were, she could have a point" he realised as he sat forward in his chair, the look on his face that he only got when he was thinking of a plan "Riley was the one who told Buffy her child was a part of Spike, he may be our best way of finding out more on the subject" he commented.  
"Sweetie, d-don't you have a Ps-psychology class today?" Tara asked Willow who had since managed to stem the flow of tears from her eyes and calm down a lot.

"Yeah" she nodded "but I don't feel like...oh, Riley, he's the TA in my class" she suddenly realised what her girlfriend meant.

"Do you think you're up to asking a few questions Willow? Maybe just catch up with him in the hall after class?" the ex-Watcher suggested and the witch nodded in reposse.

"I guess I could try"

"Right, then it's settled" Giles looked determined. He wanted to know precisely what was happening to his Slayer, his almost-daughter, and he'd do whatever he took to find out "Tara, if you get Willow back to the University, Xander, Anya, perhaps you could stay here with me and research?" he suggested.

"Research again?" Anya whined as Xander moved her off his lap and stood up to head for the book case "But we had plans, and they didn't involve books" she complained "well maybe one, with diagrams, but not the kind you have"

"Thankyou, that's quite enough" Giles interrupted, holding up a hand to silence her as he went over to the cabinet to find his spare glasses.

"We're staying Giles" Xander assured him from behind the book shelf "Just tell me what I'm looking for"  
"Any cases of vampires causing pregnancy or Slayer's having children" the ex-Watcher told the boy who scanned the shelves for useful looking volumes "I confess I don't remember finding any evidence before, but I was so sure that these events had never occurred and never would" Giles found his other pair of spectacles and automatically started cleaning them as soon as they were in his hand "Perhaps in this situation, a more open-minded view is required"

**__**

To Be Continued...

A/N2: Review please and let me know what you think! More of this and 'Who's That Guy?' coming soon to a Fanfiction page near you! ;-)


	14. Chapter 14

A/N : Y'know I spent all weekend trying to write this chapter and it just wasn't happening, then suddenly inspiration struck. Thankfully, I don't have to work this week so I had time to sort it all today and check it over and get it beta-ed so here it is for all you lovely people! Thanx to the reviewers of the previous chapter; Freeziboncoolipants, Bunny, spikeswife1, Spuffyfan4eva, Moluvsnumber17, uandme4eternity, kori hime, Brittany, rubi-elektra, spuffyfan-1, Carol, iluvglorfindel, electricgurl, MikiBaby, naiya-isis, HungryLucy, Kate, fearlessbuffy, Diana, SSWBA, bo-bob, Lucky-112, LiLRoguE. I hope you all like this chapter too...  
_(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)_

Chapter 14

"I guess I should get these bags unpacked, and then I have to call my Mom before she starts having a major spazz" Buffy realised, pulling herself out of the chair and making her way over to her luggage which she'd dropped on the floor earlier on.

"Yeah, Joyce, is a bit of a worrier, ain't she?" Spike smirked, "Made me promise to bloody ring when I arrived, I felt like a twelve year old or somethin'"

Buffy couldn't help but laugh at the image that popped into her head then. A little version of Spike in short pants, a backwards baseball cap, and a skateboard under his arm. She turned serious again when she realised he never did look that way, since she knew for a fact it was over a century since he was twelve. It brought home to her just what a weird situation they were in.

The Slayer sighed as she reached for her suitcase and Spike mistook the tired sound for one of pain.

"You shouldn't be carrying those, not in your condition" he mumbled, moving to take the case from her hand as well as picking up the bags from the floor.

Buffy wanted to yell at him, tell him she was quite capable of doing plenty of things, in her condition or otherwise, and that included staking his worthless hide, but the insults and ingratitude he was so used to hearing from her, appeared to stick in her throat today. How could you be so mean to a guy who just wanted to help? The same guy who you had made a new life just a few weeks ago...

"Thankyou" she said suddenly, "I need them in the bedroom" she added, as Spike nodded and took the bags through for her.

Whilst he was gone, Buffy called her mother and told her she'd arrived okay. Joyce was surprised but thrilled to find out that her daughter was able to bear Spike's presence without wanting to stake him every five minutes. Neither the Slayer or her mother were sure yet what that meant in the grand scheme of things, but for now it seemed it didn't have to mean anything.

"How did the gang take it when you told them?" Buffy held her breath as soon as the question had been asked, she was so afraid of the answer.

"They were shocked obviously" Joyce told her honestly, "Like you said, vampires aren't supposed to be able to make children"

"Were they freaked?" the Slayer pressed, "I mean like totally disgusted and disappointed in me?"

Spike came back into the room just as the question was asked and moved to stand behind Buffy, hoping to catch the answer from the other end of the phone.

"Er, well, no" Joyce stumbled on the words and Spike could almost see the nervous smile, "They're fine, really" she said, quickly changing the subject by adding, "I told Mr Giles you'd call him soon"

"Sure, Mom" Buffy agreed, "I did say that I would" she nodded to herself, suddenly frowning as she felt a presence behind her and turned, only to come face to face with Spike, mere fractions of inches separating their bodies.

"I...I have to go Mom, bye" the Slayer said quickly, turning off the cordless phone and just standing there, bright blue eyes staring into her own, almost hypnotising her. She didn't really remember looking properly before, but now Buffy was thinking just how beautiful those eyes were, and in general just how good-looking Spike was.

Suddenly the real world seemed to come rushing back to her breaking whatever moment they might have been having as Buffy's brain yelled 'You Slayer, him disgusting vampire!' Sometimes she wished she could make that little brain-voice go away...

"I guess you heard all that?" she gestured with the phone before putting it down on the table and moving briskly across the room. She would have gone to look out of the window, but all the blinds were shut. In some ways it seemed like a complete waste when the weather was so pleasant, but one ray of sun-light in just the wrong place and the father of her child would be nothing more than a big pile of dust.

"Yeah, I heard" Spike smirked, loving the fact that he must have had some kind of effect on her. He hadn't seen her cover ground that fast in a while, and all because he'd been looking at? There was more going on in his Slayer's head than she'd ever admit, he knew that, and he was going to have fun with it.

"So, seems there's only one bedroom" he smirked some more, "Guess we'll have to share"

"Be serious!" Buffy snapped, "You are so on the couch, and that is even if I let you stay here anyway" she told him matter-of-factly, folding her arms over her chest.

"What's the matter, Slayer?" he asked her, tilting his head to the side, "Afraid you won't be able to resist me?"

Buffy let out an unattractive snort at that, wishing she could shoot back a clever answer but finding none came to mind as very vivid memories came rushing into her mind. Back on that day when she hadn't wanted to resist him and vice versa, when all they'd wanted to do was get as close as possible to each other. The day that had led to them standing here now.

Realising he was still staring at her and feeling heat rise in her cheeks, Buffy looked away and moved back towards the phone.

"I have to call Giles" she mumbled, grabbing up the handset and violently punching in the number. She hated that Spike was making her feel things like this. He was a vampire, her supposed enemy, and it had been so clear. Now she was having his baby and he spent most of his time either being sweet and helpful or coming onto her, both of which were nice as well as annoying and scary at the same time.

As she waited for someone to pick up the phone, Buffy knew Spike was still watching her, but she refused to turn around and show that he was bothering her. Still, she really wished Giles would hurry up and answer the phone so she had something else to concentrate on...

- - - - - -

"I got it!" Xander yelled as the phone rang. Giles was in the kitchen making tea and Anya was half asleep on the couch with a book on her lap and a couple more either side of her, "Hello, Rupert Giles home, Xander speaking"

"Hey Xan, it's me" came the nervous reply.

"Buffy!" he exclaimed, causing both Anya and Giles to come rushing over to the table, "Where are you? How are you? Why didn't you tell us you were having Evil Dead Juniors kid?"

"Xander!" Giles exclaimed grabbing the phone from the boys hand and shooting him a nasty look, "Buffy my dear, how are you?" he said into the phone, still glaring daggers at Xander for his tactless-ness. Anya didn't really understand what the problem was but she knew her man was looking a little hurt and embarrassed so she put her arm around his back and leant her head on his shoulder in what she hoped was seen as an affectionate way.

"I'm fine Giles" the Slayer assured him, "Well, as fine as it's possible to be when you just found out you're having a vampires baby" she added quietly.

"Buffy, you do know that we understand" he checked, "There really was no need for you to run away"

"I didn't run so much" Buffy immediately went defensive, "I moved at a brisk pace, and besides it wasn't all about being worried what you'd think of me, I kind of need some alone time right now" she looked across the room into the small kitchen area where Spike was checking the cupboards for supplies. 'Alone time with the vampire', she added in her mind, but she wasn't going to tell her Watcher that.

"As you wish" Giles told her, "We're currently in full research mode as you may imagine, I assume you approve?" he ventured.

"It would be nice to know how I've gotten over four months pregnant inside three, yeah" Buffy agreed, "Riley said the Initiative thought it was maybe my Slayerness or maybe Spike's vampiness?"

Giles smiled at her phrasing despite the severity of the situation.

"Indeed, it may be that both those things are a factor" he agreed "though I am still very curious as to how a vampire was able to create a child at all"

"I know you'll figure it out eventually, and then I'll deal" Buffy smiled, "It's what we do. You're book guy, I'm action girl, it's the way it works"

"I would rather you let yourself be less of an action girl in your present condition, Buffy" Giles frowned a little, "I know you're the Slayer and only four months into your pregnancy but it would pay to be careful"

"I can deal, Giles" Buffy rolled her eyes, but also smiled at his concern, "and I'm guessing you've probably polished your glasses down to nothing now so please leave them on your face this time"

The ex-Watcher almost laughed when he realised he had subconsciously brought his free hand up to his face to remove his spectacles as she knew he would.

"Anyway Giles, I really oughta go. Seems kind of unfair to run up a huge phone bill when it's not my phone"

"Oh yes, indeed" her father-figure nodded, "I'll let you get some rest and so-forth, but do promise me you'll keep in touch, Buffy, we do worry you know"

"I'll call again in a couple of days" the Slayer promised, "And in the meantime, if you need to get a hold of me desperately, my Mom has the number"

After that they both said their goodbyes and hung up the phone. Buffy sighed as she did so before turning around and coming face to face with Spike again.

"Do you have to keep doing that?!" she snapped, "I could use you not being in my face every time I turn around"

"Calm down Slayer" he rolled his eyes, stepping away and dropping into the armchair, "Not good for you to get worked up in your condition"

She narrowed her eyes at him as he smirked and propped his feet up on the coffee table.

"That phrase is going to get real old, real fast" she warned him, pointing a finger.

He just ignored her and changed the subject entirely.

"It's like Old Mother Hubbard's in this place, not a scrap of food or anything" he told her, "Won't be long til the sun's down though...fancy a little stroll to the shops?" he suggested and Buffy looked at him strangely.

"You expect me to willingly be seen in public with you?" she asked incredulously.

Spike stood up with a smirk and breezed past her.

"Chill out, Slayer" he told her, "S'not like I'm asking you to marry me or anything" he added nonchalantly, smiling to himself as he walked past her to the bathroom and threw the door closed behind him.

It was times like this when Buffy remembered why she hated him.

"The stupid, arrogant..." she muttered to herself as she checked the cupboards that he had already been through "evil, soulless, gorgeous..."

'Where the hell did that come from?!' her mind screamed as she realised what she'd said. Her eyes went wide and her hand automatically clamped over her mouth, forcing back any further words of similar meaning. Quickly she moved towards the bathroom in silence and heard the water running. Even with his vampire hearing, at that distance and with the shower on, it was unlikely he would have heard her words, at least Buffy hoped not.

This trip away was beginning to feel like a very bad idea, the Slayer realised, as she flopped back down on the sofa and closed her eyes. It was pretty peaceful, or it would be if she couldn't here Spike singing a rough version of 'My Way' under the running water. Very disturbing images began to appear behind Buffy's eyes as her brain registered that Spike was in the next room, naked and under the hot spray of the shower. It was only disturbing because it was so pleasant, and that had to be wrong, right? He was a vampire, an evil thing that should be dusted as soon as possible, but he was the father of her child, and...and oh my God!

"For the fourth time, Buffy!" Spike called from the doorway, finally getting her attention onto what he was saying, "You up for that shopping trip then, luv?" he checked, one hand holding the towel up around his waist the other pushing his wet hair out of his face.

"Er, yeah, I guess" she stammered a reply, smiling slightly until he disappeared again, quickly chastising herself straight after for having the lusty wrong feelings about the vampire.

"Must just be a pregnant lady hormone thing" she reasoned, but deep down, she knew she was lying to herself.

- - - - - -

An hour and a half had past since Buffy's phone call and Giles, Xander and Anya were still pouring over the books trying to find any reference to pregnant Slayers and/or vampiric fathers. So far nothing of use had been found in any of the Watcher's Diaries, or any demonology books either old or new.

Giles checked his watch to see how long he'd been sitting in the same position as his body was starting to cramp.

"I do hope that Willow has made some progress with Riley" he sighed, realising she had been gone some time now, "it seems the Initiative really are the only people who have information regarding this type of situation or similar"

"Au contraire, mon frere" Xander said excitedly from across the table, raising his hand but not moving his eyes from the page.

"Oh did you find something?" Anya smiled coming over from the couch to stand behind her boyfriend "Can we stop reading these boring books now?" she asked innocently as she tried to read over his shoulder.

"This Watchers Diary" Xander gestured towards the volume he was studying "the entry for June 20th 1973" he said, reading the passage aloud " 'Today we welcomed Robin Thomas Wood into the world. He weighed 7lb 12oz and is as beautiful as his mother. Nikki is anxious to get back to her training programme and slaying duties, though I have assured her I can manage quite well until she's completely ready...' "

The words of the old Watcher, spoken through Xander's voice, were interrupted as the front door was flung open and a girl practically fell into the apartment.

"Willow?" Giles frowned, getting to his feet "Did you speak to Riley?" he asked, but received no reply. Eventually the red-head turned from closing the door and revealed a pale and tear-stained face to her friends.

"Good Lord, whatever's the matter?" Giles was panicked by the girls looks and behaviour as she promptly burst into tears. Xander was by her side in a second, putting his arms around her shaking form and leading her to a seat to sit down.

"Will, talk to me" he urged and she sniffed and hiccuped, trying to stop her tears. Anya was frowning hard, unhappy that her boyfriend had his arms around another girl, but not daring to say anything after being snapped at several times already today for saying the wrong things.

"Psychology class was cancelled" Willow choked out, looking first at Xander and then across the table at Giles "Professor Walsh, she's...oh Giles, her and Riley" she sobbed "they're dead"

To Be Continued...

A/N2 : Shocked? Happy? Sad? Please give your opinions in the usual way! :-)


	15. Chapter 15

A/N : Thanx to all you wonderful people that left reviews on the previous chapter; Ann, iluvglorfindel, bo-bob, Samolly, Malfeus, Spuffyluvr, spuffyfan-1, spikeswife1, Bunny, CraZy4SpikE09, sunnyhell, naiya-isis, Katie, velja, rubi-elektra, Moluvsnumber17, MaidenRo, Artemis Moonshine, ms trick, Bridge, Rachel, libraflyter, Moonglow13, Screeching Dragon, Shania Maxwell, Eurika, electricgurl, Princess Consuela, Spuffyfan4eva, SweetBitter, books41.

Seems we had a bit of a mixed reaction to Riley's death - kinda scary how most people were glad about it, but then I'm always glad when he dies too! ;-) I think this chapter will answer most of the questions I was asked in the reviews...

(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 15

"Psychology class was cancelled" Willow choked out, looking first at Xander and then across the table at Giles "Professor Walsh, she's...oh Giles, her and Riley" she sobbed "they're dead"

"Good God" Giles gasped. Though he didn't know Riley or the Professor very well, it was a shock to find out they were dead, but then considering the field they worked in, perhaps it was not so entirely surprising.

"Do they know what happened to them?" he asked Willow, as gently as he could. She continued to cry on her best friends shoulder, and Xander was oblivious to the nasty looks Anya was giving him for hugging a girl that wasn't her.

"I don't know" the red-head hiccuped, "We just got told they were..." she trailed off, unable to say anymore. Though the Professor was really no more than that to her, and Riley just her best friends ex, Willow felt it badly when these things happened, especially since she was more or less alone when she heard the news. Surrounded by classmates and yet without any of her friends to comfort her as she heard the dreadful news.

"Er, Anya" Giles finally spotted the girl shooting metaphorical daggers from her eyes as she watched Willow and Xander, "Would you make some sweet tea please, it's very good for shocks of these kind"

"Why is that your solution to everything?" she huffed as she headed for the kitchen, "British people always do that" she mumbled as she went, "Things going wrong? Drink tea, that'll fix it..."

"Oh God" Xander said suddenly, "Giles, what about Buffy. I mean, do we tell her?"

"Until we know what we're dealing with exactly it may be best not to" the Watcher reasoned, "In her condition a shock of this kind could be dangerous to both her and the baby" he explained, "Besides which if this does turn out to be a demon of some kind that has escaped from the Initiative, I don't think it would be wise to have Buffy rushing back here to do her duty as it were"

"So what next?" Xander asked, still hugging Willow and she sniffed and coughed.

"I shall go the college, see what I can find out" Giles decided, "In the meantime, I suggest you find as much as you can about the Slayer you were reading about a moment ago, and look after Willow and Anya until I get back"

Pulling the book on the table towards him and keeping his other arm firmly around Willow, the boy smiled tightly.

"Xan-Man's got it covered" he promised Giles, who nodded absently as he pulled on his jacket and left.

- - - - - - -

"So, we headed for these shops or what, pet?" Spike asked her as he came out of the bedroom fully dressed again. A part of Buffy was decidedly disappointed by the fact she could no longer see his beautifully toned body, but hey, memory and imagination were wonderful things sometimes. She found herself smiling and on the verge of blushing as she got up from the sofa and walked over to him.

"What's up with you?" he asked, wondering if he could guess. He wasn't quite so bothered about taking a shower really, but when he'd left the room before and accidentally found himself in the bathroom he'd decided he might as well. The idea to walk out into the living room, all dripping wet and wearing nothing but a towel had come afterwards, when he'd overheard her call him gorgeous, amongst a lot of other less complimentary words. She was fighting what she felt for him, he knew it for certain now as she agreed to walk with him and fetch some food and supplies, a pink tinge to her cheeks as she brushed past him towards the bedroom where her jacket was.

In a moment she re-appeared and they both moved towards the door. Without thinking he opened it for her.

"What's that about?" she asked, frowning.

"I opened the door" he answered flatly, as if it were no big deal, "It's bloody polite to open doors for ladies, okay?" he said, more agitated by her incredulous look. Suddenly she was smiling shyly again like a school girl.

"I'm a lady now?" she asked, stupidly flattered by the remark.

"Always, luv" came Spike's quiet reply as they headed out into the cool night air.

They walked in silence for a while, neither really knowing what to say to the other. The only proper conversations they'd had were about her pregnancy and it really didn't seem like a fitting topic as they strolled along beneath the glowing moon.

It was the perfect romantic night, Buffy realised with equal amounts of pleasure and horror. Usually she didn't have time to appreciate the soft breeze, the pale moonlight, the silver stars, before she was savagely attacked by several of the undead, and yet here she was enjoying all these things in the company of a vampire who was completely different to any she'd met before.

A small sigh escaped her lips as they continued to walk in silence, a strangely comfortable lack of sound instead of those awkward moments she'd had on dates before when you don't really know what you're supposed to say next. Not that this was a date exactly, although she was attracted to Spike and him to her it seemed...

"I think there's a convenience store round the next corner" he said suddenly, shattering her pleasant and dreamy thoughts as reality came rushing back.

"Oh, good" she replied, switching back to nasty Slayer mode, "the less time I have to spend out here walking with you the better"

"Sing us a new one, pet" he said, shaking his head, "that one's getting stale"

"What are you talking about?" she asked tiredly as they rounded the corner.

"The whole 'I hate you cos you're evil' act" he told her as they stopped walking right outside the store, "Just drop it, luv, it's getting boring now"

"Oh, I'm sorry" she snapped, sounding anything but, "Just because some spell or something happened so you could get me pregnant, that means I'm supposed to forget you're a demon?" she asked somewhat angrily at the suggestion.

Spike looked annoyed at first but then smirked at her in that annoyingly gorgeous way he had.

"Y'know something, Slayer" he said, leaning in close, loving the fact her heart beat double time as he did so, "You're bleedin' gorgeous when you're angry" he told her, turning to walk into the store before she had time to react.

Buffy was stuck in the middle of wanting to tear the guy limb from limb and seriously wanting to kiss him senseless. Since he'd walked into the store and left her behind, she didn't have much option of doing either as she made to follow. One step forward and her head spun wildly. She managed to balance herself enough to get in through the door, but no further.

"Spike?" she managed his name right before the tiled floor came racing towards her, or more accurately she collapsed onto it.

- - - - - - -

"Oh baby, I just heard" Tara gasped as she rushed from the recently opened door of Giles' apartment to where Willow was sitting on the sofa, "Are you okay, sweetie?" she asked as she held her girlfriend, and Willow found the embrace only caused more tears, this time of relief to have the one she loved there with her.

"I couldn't believe it" she told her, "I just...I mean, they were good people"

"I know, baby" Tara held her close and tried to comfort her as best she could. Anya seemed pleased that the two young women had each other to lean on now and that Xander's attention could be more focused on her. The only problem was, he still had his nose in those musty old books!

"Xander are you done with the research yet" she asked from across the table, "I'm very tired but also in need of sex" she told him matter-of-factly. Xander sighed.

"Ahn, this has to be done first" he told her tiredly, "We can't leave until Giles gets back and we figure out whats going on with the Initiative and with the Buffster"

"Why do these people always come first?" she demanded to know, "Why do they never have to wait whilst you spend time with me? Why is it always the other way around"

"I can't deal with this right now, Anya" her boyfriend told her, rubbing his tired eyes with his hand and trying to focus on the page in front of him, "Just try to understand that some stuff is more important than us and...what we do together"

Anya made an audible huffing sound as she violently flipped open the nearest book and half-heartedly read the random page.

'Today Nikki confessed to me that she is having a child...'

"Xander!" she suddenly realised she'd found what he was looking for, the Watcher's Diary that proceeded the one he'd found earlier, the one that told of a Slayer's pregnancy.

"Anya, I already said no" he told her, "Please, be quiet"

"But this is it!" she told him, pointing excitedly, feeling ridiculously pleased with herself for having found the vital information, "This is about the pregnant Slayer"

"What?!" Xander gasped, talking the book from her and scanning the pages, "Hey guys" he called over to Willow and Tara a moment later, "Things are looking up"

"I fear you may have spoken too soon" said a voice from the doorway and all four young people turned to see Giles there.

"W-what did you find out, Mr Giles?" Tara asked nervously as the older man came into the room, sitting down heavily in the armchair.

"I ran into one of the commandos, one of the more stupid ones, thankfully" he rolled his eyes before continuing, "He was in a state over the deaths of his comrades and slightly worse for wear for the alcohol he'd consumed. It seems there was some sort of project at the Initiative, operating in a secret lab, known by all as simply three-fourteen" he explained.

"But what does that have to do with Riley and Professor Walsh?" Xander frowned as he and Anya came to stand behind the couch where Willow and Tara still sat.

"The project was to build a being more powerful and intelligent than any human, demon, or machine, a type of hybrid if you will" he told them.

"That's what killed them?" Willow asked with a tremble in her voice, "The hybrid?"

"The Professor referred to him as Adam" Giles continued, "After the first man on Earth, one presumes. I understand he was not so easily controlled as the Professor believed he would be" he said sadly, and Willow knew the answer to her question was yes.

"So where's the scary-hybrid-Adam-monster now?" Xander asked, the first to recover from the shock of what they'd been told.

"That is the biggest problem" Giles admitted, "He escaped from the lab and now, he could be anywhere"

- - - - - - -

"Are you sure she's okay?" the shop assistant asked worriedly as she led Spike, carrying a semi-conscious Buffy, to a back room where a couch was situated.

"She'll be fine" he nodded as he lay her down, "I don't think she's eaten much all day, and what with that and the being pregnant..."

"Oh you two are having a baby?" the young girl grinned widely, "Congratulations"

"Thanks, pet" Spike smiled absently, "Do you think you could get a few bits together for me, whilst I sort out my friend here?" he asked, pulling a few dollars from his back pocket and handing them to her, "Essentials, y'know, bread, milk, maybe some cookies and stuff"

"No problem" the girl smiled, "I'll be right back" she said before leaving the room and closing the door behind her. Spike turned his attention back to Buffy who was by now mostly awake.

"Did I pass out again?" she asked, embarrassed and confused by her current situation.

"Seems that way, luv" Spike sat down beside her on the edge of the couch, "See, that's what happens when you don't eat all day. Can't skip meals now you're carrying the nibblet in there"

Buffy laughed in spite of herself. The situation was truly ridiculous when considered objectively. Here she was, in the staff area of a convenience store, many miles from home. There was a vampire leaning over her, checking she was okay and admonishing her for having not eaten lunch like a good girl, also referencing the fact she was having his child, which on it's own should be an impossible event.

"I hate that you're right" she said, no longer laughing but still smiling, "How is it you can be right so much, when everything about you is so wrong?" she asked, not meaning to insult him as such but finding she seemed to have done it by accident as he stood up swiftly and headed for the door.

"I'll get you some water or something" he mumbled as he left. Buffy frowned.

Most of the time, it was starting to seem that he cared about her, or at least the kid she was carrying and her own self by association. It was fairly obvious that she was physically attracted to him, and she liked him, more than she'd care to admit, when he was being nice to her, but there seemed to be something indefinable that kept anything from really happening between them.

Her thoughts were shattered by Spike's return to the room, complete with a glass of water, as promised.

"Here, thought you might want this" he said, handing it to her.

"Thankyou" she smiled at him but found he didn't return it this time, "Aren't you going to sit down?" she tried.

"Er, can't" he shook his head, "Girl's getting together some stuff for us then we've gotta go...if you're up to it" he added as an afterthought. It had hurt somewhat when she'd said he was 'all wrong'. He was used to her stupid, petty insults, and the whole 'evil, soulless thing' riff, but to have her say something like that, when he was so worried about her, when he really thought they were making a connection, that hurt more than any punch she'd ever thrown at him.

There was a knock on the door and the young girl from before appeared with several bags of groceries and big grin on her face. It occurred to Buffy that she was probably smiling like that purely for Spike's benefit, she clearly found him attractive, though he really didn't seem to notice it. He thanked her vaguely for sorting the shopping and for the use of the back room as Buffy pulled herself to her feet, feeling more steady now, though decidedly hungry too.

Soon they were walking back towards their temporary home, Spike carrying all the groceries and refusing to let the Slayer help. She found she didn't have the energy to protest right now.

The night did not seem half so romantic anymore, only a little too cool and crisp as the hour got later.

"I'll put this lot away" Spike said as they entered the apartment again and he headed for the kitchen. Buffy followed him and pulled herself up onto one of the two stools by the counter in silence.

"Spike..." she said, after a while, but he interrupted, as he placed a bag of cookies on the counter in front of her.

"Here, get you sugar levels right back up, they will" he told her, "Tomorrow we'll have to make sure you eat something decent"

She nodded slightly, prising open the bag and looking in at the cookies but not taking one just yet.

"What about you?" she frowned, "You didn't get any blood" she realised as he put the last of the groceries away. He turned to look at her then.

"Careful, Slayer" he warned, "You'll have me thinking you care in a minute"

"As if" she shot back automatically, immediately feeling bad for it, "but I kind of need you around right now" she admitted, "I think maybe, I _want_ you to be around, y'know" her voice got so quiet it was barely audible by the end of her sentence but Spike heard every word with his finally tuned ears. He walked over to where she sat, eyes staring at the floor, and dared to reach out his hand to her face. His fingers under her chin, tipped her head up til she was looking at him and he smiled at her.

"Don't fret about me, luv" he said softly, "I'm not going anywhere"

"Good" Buffy found herself whispering back as his hand slid back into her hair and his eyes gazed into her own. If she didn't know better she'd have thought she could see right into his soul through the clear blue of those eyes of his. Before her mind could even process what was happening, he leaned closer to her, lowering his head until his lips touched hers. Deep down she knew she should be disgusted by this, but deeper than that she knew that this was all she'd wanted for quite some time, as she kissed him back in equal measure. The dizziness she'd felt before was nothing compared to the way her head was spinning now, but she didn't want to stop as his arms wound around her and hers around him.

For the first time since Willow's mixed up Will Be Done spell, Spike felt truly alive. He'd taken a gamble, daring to kiss Buffy like this, but it seemed that putting a stake through his heart was the last thing on the Slayer's mind. Whatever happened afterwards, it didn't matter. She could never deny that she wanted him, maybe even liked him, not after this.

What Spike didn't know was that Buffy was suddenly contemplating the fact that she more than liked him. Could this really be love?

To Be Continued...

A/N2 : Less shocking ending, more sweet and happy, at least that was the plan. Thoughts, comments, and opinions please - in other words, please review! :-)


	16. Chapter 16

A/N : Here we go again! Thanx to everyone who reviewed the previous chapter; Screeching Dragon, wings(of)paper, iluvglorfinderl, MissEdith666, MikiBaby, Princess Consuela, spikeswife1, Rachel, rubi-elektra, ms trick, Eurika, wicked-angel3, Jem, sunnyhell, Freezyboncoolipants, Kari Mouke, libraflyter, spuffyfan-1, CraZy4SpikE09, Bridge, Semajyrrah, Abigail, catgirl89, velja, naiya-isis, aphelant, Spuffyfan4eva, pixiecorn, MaidenRo, katie, Moluvsnumber17, Slayer rick chick, electricgurl. Y'know some of you have awesome screen-names and I never get bored of typing them each time you review. Thanx muchly for all the comments and compliments! Here's the next chapter for you...

(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 16

"Spike" Buffy gasped for air as she finally broke their kiss, "What are we doing?"

"Well, where I come from" he smirked "we call it snogging, luv" he leaned in to start all over again but Buffy moved away, hopping off the stool and taking a couple of steps back.

"No, we can't..." she shook her head to emphasise the point. Though for the most part she really wanted to be doing this, she wasn't sure it was the best thing right now.

"Come on, Slayer" Spike begged, moving towards her again, effectively pinning her back against the counter, even though he wasn't physically touching her yet, "Can't you feel how much I want you?" he asked looking into her eyes as he pressed up against her, making her swallow hard "and I know you want me too...I can see it in your eyes" he told her softly, one hand moving lightly over her cheek before coming to rest in her hair, "I can feel it when we touch" he continued, his other hand reaching for hers, linking their fingers, as his eyes searched hers for a reaction, an answer.

Her eyes moved from his to their hands and back. She knew he was right, more than right. She wanted him so badly right now that it hurt, wanted to kiss him and touch him, and have him do the same to her, but it was more than that, more than lust. It might have been easier if that was all it was, just a physical attraction, but she liked him now, cared about him, more than she ever thought possible. It was like a lightening bolt shaking her whole body as she realised she was in very great danger of falling in love.

"I do want you" she finally admitted, in a whisper, continuing fast in order to stop him from kissing her again "but I've been here before, Spike, and I can't do it again" Buffy's voice was trembling now as tears came to her eyes. She just couldn't deal with another messed up relationship and things could never work between a Slayer and a vampire.

"I'm not Angel!" Spike snapped, quite annoyed at the implication that he might be, "and he wasn't the father of your child" he pointed out, some of the softness disappearing from his eyes and tone of voice.

"It doesn't matter" Buffy shook her head sadly, making her tears run down her cheeks. She removed his hands from her and side-stepped away, "I can barely handle this pregnancy thing and having a baby that could be half Slayer, or half vampire, or whatever" she wiped the tears from her face, only to find them replaced by more as she saw the pain in Spike's eyes, "I don't want to hurt you" she told him, "but like I said before, I can't deal with your feelings right now...I can barely control my own" she added quietly, before turning to walk away to the bedroom.

Spike's hand reached out to grab her arm and prevent her from going.

"Buffy..." she turned back at the sound of her name and he pulled her to him, covering her lips with his before she had a chance to argue. He knew she felt something for him, and he was so certain now of what it was he felt for her. It seemed the only way to make her see it was to show and tell. She was too stunned to kiss him back right now but she wasn't pushing him away either, and he knew she was perfectly capable.

"Buffy" he said again when he finally pulled away, still holding onto her arm so she couldn't run, "I love you" he admitted at last, finding it wasn't half so difficult to say than he thought it would be, "I don't know how it happened, and I know it's crazy and complicated, and I never meant for it to happen, but I'm not afraid of it" he explained.

The entire time, Buffy was staring at him, one hand on her mouth where he'd kissed her so hard that she felt like he was still doing it even when he'd stopped.

Had he just said he loved her? Her brain couldn't take in the concept. He'd said before that he liked her, cared for her, wanted to raise the baby and everything, but it never occurred to her that he would come out and say that he loved her, not now, if ever.

The part of her that knew she liked him more than she'd admit, that corner of her heart that was growing everyday, learning to love him, it was over-joyed to hear he felt the same, but like he'd said himself, it was crazy and complicated...

"Spike, I...I wish I could but..." she tried but failed to answer him, the words he wanted to hear just weren't ready to be said yet, "I'm sorry" she cried, tears streaming down her cheeks once again as she pulled her arm free and ran into the bedroom, throwing the door closed behind her.

"Nice going, Spike" the vampire said sarcastically to himself, sitting down heavily on the stool by the counter. In a moment's frustration he swept the bag of cookies straight off the surface, sending the contents all over the floor as he thumped his fist into the worktop, almost cracking it.

He'd never wanted to make the Slayer cry, and it was bloody confusing feeling the way he did about her when they'd been such enemies just a few months ago. Still, there was no denying the love he felt for her. It was real, no matter what the demon within him said, or what the silly bint in that bedroom tried to tell him.

Why did things never work out the way he wanted them to? Spike sighed. Seemed he would be sleeping on the couch after all.

- - - - - - -

It was getting late, and Giles had told the Scoobies that the best thing to do would be to go home and get some rest. They had a lot of research to do, a demon to fight without the help of the Slayer it seemed, and what should be an impossible pregnancy to try and explain. None of these things could be done when the group of young people were so tired and drained. In fact, though he'd never admit it, Giles was beginning to wonder if it were all possible anyway.

With a long sigh, the ex-Watcher removed his glasses and tiredly rubbed at his eyes. He walked over to the drinks cabinet and poured himself a large scotch before returning to the couch to read more of the Watcher's Diary that Xander and Anya had come across.

The Slayer it referred to was Nikki Wood, who was called in New York in the seventies. Her Watcher, Bernard Crowley, had kept meticulous records and the detail was particularly appreciated at this time. What was bothering Giles most of all was that the name of Slayer seemed familiar. Of course he had studied the Slayer line back over many centuries but it was impossible to recall every name. Still Nikki Wood was ringing a bell somewhere in the back of his mind. He was sure eventually he would remember why, but in the meantime he would concentrate on the young woman's pregnancy. Any information he could give to Buffy that would help her with relation to her child was a bonus.

- - - - - - -

Tomorrow, Willow, Xander, Anya, and Tara would be back to help with further research and the computer-literate witch planned to try to hack into the Initiative records to assist with the defeat of Adam. In the meantime, the apartment was peaceful and calm, and there were several hundred more pages Giles wanted to get through before he turned in for the night. Thank heaven Spike had moved out when he had!

"Here you go sweetie" Tara smiled comfortingly at Willow as she handed her a mug of cocoa, "It should help you sleep" she said as she sat down on the bed where her girlfriend was already snuggled beneath the covers.

"Thanks" she managed a small smile back as she sat up just enough to sip at her drink, "I can't believe all that's happened today"

"It has been kind of crazy" Tara agreed with a nod as she ran her fingers through Willow's hair, making her sigh and move closer to her.

"Buffy's having Spike's baby, and she's gone away to who-knows-where" she re-capped, "Riley is gone, and the Professor, and there's another big demon to fight...why doesn't it ever stop?" she asked, looking up at Tara, who hated that she didn't have an answer.

"I wish I knew baby, I-I really do" she said softly, "but I don't"

"At least I always have you" Willow smiled as she put her mug down on the nightstand and reached over to kiss her girl.

"You'll always have me" Tara promised, moving to lay down beside Willow so they could cuddle.

"I keep thinking about Buffy" the red-head sighed, "She must feel so confused and alone...and it's all my fault, me and my stupid I Will It So spell"

"I'm sure she doesn't blame you" Tara tried to sound comforting, but she had no way of knowing what Buffy thought and felt about any of this, she hadn't even been around when Willow's spell had been cast.

"But _I_ blame me" she pressed, "If I only hadn't said that she should marry Spike!"

"Is that all you said?" Tara frowned suddenly, pulling out of the hug to see her girlfriends face. Willow wondered why she a suddenly asking that question.

"I don't know exactly" she realised as she tried to remember, "Er, I was talking to Xander" she said slowly, trying to recall the exact wording of their conversation, "I was complaining that Buffy wanted to spend time with Spike more than me, which was stupid but...I said 'Why doesn't she just go marry him and...' oh my Goddess!" Willow gasped loudly, covering her mouth with her hand.

"What is it, Willow?" Tara was worried by the panic and guilt she saw on her girlfriends face.

"I said" she forced out, taking her hand away from her face, "'Why doesn't she just go marry him...and have his babies, and live happily ever after'"

Tears fell from her eyes as the guilt washed over her. She'd blamed herself before because she thought by making Buffy and Spike in love she'd also caused them to make a baby, but now it was even worse as she remembered saying those very words.

"Human life can't be reversed" Tara said under her breath, making Willow look at her strangely. She quickly explained, "It-It's a law, of magic. Even if you reversed the spell, a human life ca-can't be taken back" she said, getting up from the bed and fetching a book from the shelf. She flipped the pages til she found the one she needed and handed the book to Willow, pointing out the passage she needed to see.

"How can I ever tell Buffy?" the girl looked petrified and so very sorry for what she'd done. Tara felt awful for her, but there was an up-side to all this.

"A-At least we know it's a human life that's been made. It's unlikely the child will have any vampire or Slayer aspects" she attempted a half smile, but Willow still looked unhappy.

"I guess thats good" she conceded, "but it doesn't make Buffy any less pregnant-at-nineteen" she sighed as she put the book to one side and laid down again, glad that Tara had agreed to stay over and was holding her close right now.

It was unlikely she would get much sleep tonight, with her head so full of Buffy and the baby, as well as the escaped demon and the deaths of those she knew, but it would be easier with Tara there. Everything was easier when they were together.

- - - - - - -

"It's weird" Anya sighed as she collapsed on top of her boyfriend, having finally gotten the sex she'd been craving for hours.

"Huh?" Xander responded, suddenly worried "Weird?"

"Not the sex" she shook her head, half smiling at his freaked expression.

"Then what?" Xander pulled himself up a little "Not doing wonders for the fragile male ego here, Ahn"

"Well, we have sex" she explained, tracing random patterns on his chest with her fingers "and it's nice, more than nice because I love you"

"I love you too" he smiled, squeezing her gently "but still not understanding the weirdness"

"Well, I always thought sex was just about two people and the smooshing together" she explained in her own unique way "and then I realised love made the smooshing even better" she smiled, "and now Buffy's having this baby because her and Spike..."

"Please do not finish that sentence" Xander begged "Really, not an image I need, Ahn"

Anya sighed. Humans could be so silly sometimes.

"Don't you see what I'm saying?" she said in exasperation, failing to see why he wasn't understanding her very simple premise "People are dying and people have to be born to replace them, and I just realised that one day, not now because you live in a basement and have very little cash and everything" she wrinkled her nose before continuing "but, one day we can do that - make a life"

"I guess" Xander didn't sound entirely sure about that. He was only nineteen, and Anya had only been his girlfriend for a few months and she was talking about babies? That was way, way in the future type stuff.

"I think we'll make very pretty children" Anya decided with a firm nod that he felt against his chest.

"Yeah, maybe one day we will" he replied, trying to suppress a yawn "I just hope Buffy can deal with her 'one day' cos it's coming a lot faster than ours...right?" he added, suddenly very awake and panicked by the thought that this conversation was leading to an unwelcome announcement.

"Yes, Xander" Anya smiled, looking up at his frightened expression. She'd seen less fear on the faces of men she was threatening to eviscerate! "Please breathe now" she said her smile disappearing some "you're turning unattractive colours" she pointed out and Xander let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

One day he figured the whole marriage and kids thing might happen for him, and yeah, maybe it'd be Anya he ended up with, but for now he was happy just being Xander, the funny guy without the responsibilities. He just felt bad that his best friend didn't have the options he did right now.

- - - - - - -

Buffy was having trouble sleeping. She could blame the unfamiliar bed, or the baby she carried, or a hundred other things, but the fact was the reason she couldn't sleep was a certain vampire in the next room.

Spike was the father of her child, God only knew how, but he was, and she had to admit she liked him, maybe even more than liked...but when he'd come out and said he loved her, that was something she just wasn't prepared for.

If it was just a case of wanting her in a lusty kind of way she could maybe deal with that, or if it was just the baby he cared about and she was important by association, but he actually loved her. It should feel wrong and disgusting to know that an evil, soulless vampire was in love with you, but Spike wasn't nearly half so evil as he had been just a few short months ago and as for soulless, well, there were humans with souls who did terrible things. Did it make so much difference as it originally seemed too?

Angel needed his soul to be good, without it he was just an evil monster, and Buffy had always thought every vampire was the same. Spike it was beginning to seem, was an enigma, not just the only vamp to father a child, as far as she was aware, but also able to love without a soul.

Clattering noises came from the living room, startling Buffy out of her deep thoughts. It was ridiculous, she decided, with her in here and him out there. They needed to sort things out and she knew she'd get no sleep until they did. There was a loud bang beyond the door, as she swung her legs out of the bed and reached for her dressing gown which she pulled on over her pyjamas. Cautiously she opened the bedroom door and crept out only to find that no-one was there.

Tears filled her eyes as she considered the fact that Spike may very well have left with no intention of coming back. Had she hurt him that much? She hadn't meant to but, after all the mistakes she'd made in her love life she was so afraid of making another, especially now when she was a few months away from bringing a new life into the world, one that she would have to look after for the rest of her life.

First there had been Angel, who had turned evil on their one intimate occasion and she'd been forced to send him to hell. He'd returned with his soul intact for just a few months before he walked out of her life never to come back again. In between there had been Scott which had been a disaster from start to finish - she'd still been so hung up on Angel. Then came Parker, who she would rather just forget, and Riley who she might have been able to make a half-decent relationship with if it were not for her spell-induced affair with Spike and the pregnancy that had come out of it. Still, Buffy was almost certain that things between herself and Riley would've gone downhill fast, either because he was just too damn decent and boring or because she would've driven him away. Why did she drive them all away? Buffy was desperately trying to fight back tears as she realised it had happened again. Spike had gone out that door and he might not come back. Just as she thought that very thing the front door opened again and Spike came back into the apartment, black leather duster swooshing behind him.

He stopped short of the kitchen when he noticed Buffy on the couch, a look that was a mixture of annoyance and concern on his features.

"What are you doing up at this hour?" he asked with a tilt of his head.

She sniffed a little, determined not to cry when she answered.

"Wondering where you were" she admitted and he shrugged his shoulders as he headed over to the kitchen counter.

"Does it matter?"

She followed him and stood the other side of the worktop, the look she gave him telling him that yes, it did matter.

"I was at the hospital" he sighed, reaching inside his coat "nicked some blood" he showed her the packets before dumping them on the counter "Come on then" he urged, trying to see her face as she looked down "tell me off for being a bad man"

Her eyes flitted up to his for a moment before she replied.

"What's the point if you already know it?"

For once Spike did not have an answer. He turned away, getting a mug from the cupboard and turning on the microwave.

"I want us to be friends, Spike" he heard Buffy say to his back. There was a tremble in her voice that wasn't usually there but he tried to steel himself against how bad he felt for being part of the cause of her unhappiness.

"And I want to win the bleedin' lottery" he snapped, keeping his back to her "but it ain't gonna happen" he knew if he looked at her he'd want to hold her and kiss her again, something he knew she wouldn't appreciate right now, given her earlier reaction.

"Spike, please" Buffy begged, tears finally escaping her eyes, her crazy hormones making her feel things so strongly right now "I can't help the way I feel" she told him.

"Yeah, well, neither can I" he said somewhat angrily, spinning around to face her "God knows I never asked for any if this!" he yelled "You having my kid, me actually caring...You think you're having trouble figuring out your feelings, I swear to God Buffy they can't be anymore screwed up than mine!"

Buffy had never seen him so worked up about anything. He'd been angry in her presence before, and not just when he was trying to kill her. When they had him locked in the bath-tub at Giles' he'd got severely P.O.-ed if he wasn't permitted to watch Passions, but he'd never looked so passionate about anything. If Buffy didn't know better she'd say he looked like he might cry.

"Spike" she said softly, walking around the counter to be closer to him. He kept his eyes to the floor, refusing to look at her, so she reached out and took one of his hands in both of hers "no matter what else, this baby is going to be ours - yours and mine" she told him "and I don't want to bring him or her into a world where we're at each others throats" they finally looked at each other then, instead of their hands which remained joined "Can't we just be like we were, before the kissing? Y'know like friends?" she said hopefully, it was all she could handle right now "It was nice then, easier, and I need it to be easier right now"

There was a long moment of silence, before Spike answered.

"I'll try, luv" he nodded slowly "but I can't turn off what I feel for you...both of you" he said, glancing to her stomach and back.

Buffy managed a small smile as she nodded.

"I know, but maybe if we just don't talk about it for a while..."

"It won't just go away if you ignore it" he snapped more severely than he meant to. Buffy didn't even flinch.

"I know that, but maybe we could put it to one side for a little while, and just see what happens?" she tried. Spike nodded once again.

"I guess we could at that" he agreed as Buffy yawned, no longer able to hide how tired she was.

"Come on" Spike smiled at how young and fragile she looked "You should really get some rest" he told her, taking his hand from hers and gently taking hold of her by the shoulders. He turned her around and walked her back to the bedroom where she laid down and he pulled the covers up around her.

"You need anything, you just yell, okay?" he told her, and she nodded slightly as she closed her eyes.

Everything would be okay now, and she could get a good night's sleep, knowing that, for now at least, things between her and Spike were okay.

To Be Continued...

A/N2 : Please don't hate me! There is method to my madness, I swear! I promise there will be more Spuffy, but I'm trying to make this as realisitic as possible for the Season it's set in, etc. Please review!  
For anyone that's interested I am also updating 'Who's That Guy?' tonight.


	17. Chapter 17

A/N : Well, here we are again with more of this strangely popular fic! First off, I want to thank the reviewers - libraflyter, freezyboncoolipants, Katie, spuffyfan-1, Princess Consuela, wicked-angel3, SinisterChic Heather Martin, MikiBaby, sunnyhell, electrucgurl, ms trick, samica, Screeching Dragon, pixiecorn, MaidenRo, Lucky-112, rubi-elektra, Rachel, Moluvsnumber17. Was it one of you lot that nominated me and this fic for three different awards at Loves Last Glimpse Awards? Whoever it was, thankyou very much :-) I firstly write for myself and secondly for all you avid readers, the nominations and awards are a nice little bonus though. With all that said, I hope you enjoy the new chapter!

(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 17

"I hope you all got a good nights sleep, we do have rather a lot to get done today" Giles called the Scooby meeting to order, though the gathering of young people looked far from official, and with no Slayer in charge they were rather a depleted bunch.

"Before you start, Giles" Willow looked at her feet then back up at the Watcher, "I have to tell you something important" she looked at Tara who placed a hand on her girlfriends shoulder, giving her a small smile and nod of encouragement.

"Yes, Willow, what is it?" Giles was eager to know and the red-head took a deep breath before she replied.

"I know how come Spike could get Buffy pregnant...it was my fault" she said sadly. Xander shook his head.

"Old news, Will" he pointed out, "We knew yesterday that your wacky spell made them get all...with the straddling, and I really don't want to be thinking about this"

"I think it goes without saying that we all feel the same about that" Giles agreed, but Willow hadn't finished.

"No, you don't understand" she shook her head, "Spike's a vampire and that means he can't make kids, 'cept my spell kinda meant that he could...I'm so sorry" she looked like she might cry, but still the rest of the gang were at a loss as to know exactly what she meant. Tara put her arm around Willow and explained herself.

"W-when Willow said Buffy should m-marry Spike, she also said sh-she should h-have his children" the other witch said quietly.

"Oh, well, yes, that does explain a great deal" Giles nodded. The biggest mystery in all of this had been how Spike, a seemingly sterile vampire, had come to father a child. Now they had one explanation at least, and following vast amounts of reading the night before Giles had news to share about Slayer pregnancy too, "On a similar theme" he continued, clearing his throat as he picked up two books from the table, "I have read the Watcher's Diaries of Bernard Crowley more closely, concentrating of course on all reference to the pregnancy of the Slayer, Nikki Wood"

"So what's the story, G-man?" Xander was eager to know. The Watcher looked decidely annoyed at his choice of phrasing.

"Xander, how many times must I ask you not to call me that?" he rolled his eyes, "In any case, it appears that the pregnancy of a Slayer is not wholly different to that of any other ordinary human female" he explained, "During the early stages there is morning sickness, general nausea, and some fainting mentioned, later general fatigue and muscles cramps though less than the average woman one would imagine since the endurance and strength of a Slayer are increased. There is also mention of odd food cravings, which I understand to be fairly common in later stages, and then comes the, er, labour obviously"

"So Slayer pregnancy, basically just like everybody else's pregnancy" Anya said matter-of-factly, "No big deal"

"Well, there is one fundamental difference" Giles continued, referring again to the notes he had made whilst reading the other Watcher's writings, "It seems that Nikki came to term, as it were, one and a half times faster than average"

"You mean, she had her baby in six months instead of nine?" Willow frowned slightly, it didn't make much sense.

"Yes, that does appear to be the case" Giles nodded, "Here we find out that the Slayer is pregnant" he pointed in the book before turning to another marked page "and two entries later that a doctor has confirmed her to be at two months along"

Next Giles opened the second book near the beginning.

"The date here, the day Robin was born, is July 27th" he pointed out, "Back here, the entry is marked April 21st"

"Two months pregnant in April, means six months in July" Xander nodded, doing the simple math that even he could cope with "but what's to say the kid wasn't just early, I was" he remarked. Giles shook his head.

"There are references to doctors comments and Crawley himself postulates that Slayer pregnancy's probably come to term a degree faster than that of the average woman" he explained, "It does appear that Nikki's baby was indeed due to be born as if it had been growing for nine months, despite the fact it took just six for this to occur"

"Have you told Buffy?" Willow wanted to know and Giles shook his head again as he closed the books and put them back on the table. His glasses were soon in his hand and he was polishing the lenses with his handkerchief.

"No, not yet" he admitted, "but she does need to be told, I also think perhaps I should mention Riley to her. I understand she might be upset but I do hate to keep secrets from her, I've found she doesn't take kindly to it"

"Oh God, she's all alone, wherever she is" Xander looked pained on the Slayers behalf, "She's gonna be crushed"

"Nevertheless" said Giles, placing his glasses back on his face, "she should know, although I think perhaps it would be wise to avoid mentioning this Adam creature until we know more about it"

The gang nodded their agreements and the Watcher said he would call Joyce later to get the phone number of where Buffy was staying. The conversation he must have with the Slayer was not one he was looking forward to, but as he'd told her friends already, she had to know.

- - - - - - - -

It was several hours since Buffy had laid down and gone to sleep. Spike hadn't meant to stay in the bedroom so long, but there was a lot on his mind and sitting there in the chair by the bed, just watching the Slayer breathing in and out, hearing her heart and their child's beat steadily in the otherwise silent room, it was the most peaceful thing in world. Sitting there, just watching and listening, his mind had time to wander back over the events of the past few hours, days, weeks.

A chain reaction of insane incidents seemed to have occurred, starting from Willow's spell or maybe even before, possibly it all began when those commandos had shoved a chip up his brain? Whenever it had started, it didn't look as if it planned on ending anytime soon, and Spike knew now more clearly than he ever had that he was in love, and that at least was a forever deal.

Buffy sighed in her sleep and turned over so she was facing him. The room was dark save for a slight shimmer of moonlight that came through the gap between the curtains that grew wider every time the soft breeze jostled them. Still with his sharpened vision he could see her almost as clearly as in the light of day. God she was beautiful, and he longed to touch her. When they'd kissed in the kitchen it had been different to before, under that spell. This was real, one hundred percent under their own control, and Spike wanted more of it. But Buffy had made her feelings quite clear on that subject, just friends was all they were to be, for now at least. Spike was holding on to the shred of hope she'd given him, that maybe someday he could mean more to her than just a friend. For now that would have to do, but one day...

The demon within him growled, cutting his thoughts off sharply. It was almost twenty four hours now since he'd fed and he was starting to feel the effects. Carefully and quietly so as not to disturb his own Sleeping Beauty, Spike got up from the chair, crept out of the bedroom and closed the door behind him.

He grabbed one of the blood bags from the counter where he'd left them, ripped it opened with his teeth and poured the contents into a mug so he could warm it in the microwave. His demon visage slipped unnecessarily into place as the smell of the plasma hit his sensitive nose.

Two mugs of blood later, the demon was sated and his human features settled back onto his face as he washed the mug in the sink and put it away, shoving the rest of the blood in the fridge. It was easier said than done, but he managed to find a space between the cottage cheese and low fat spread.

Spike realised now that he was more desperate for sleep than he had been for the blood. Despite his demon status and a usual abundance of energy, he hadn't slept properly for weeks, constantly overly aware of other demons that might decide to kill him in his sleep for daring to work on the Slayer's side. Here he figured he was safe enough, so long as all the blinds were closed before he settled himself on the sofa.

He removed his coat and laid himself down, trying to find a comfortable position on a piece of furniture that was clearly a foot too short for his body. Still, when one was used to sleeping on a stone coffin, a well padded sofa was luxury, even if he did have to squash himself up some to fit on it.

A part of him, a rather large part actually, vaguely considered making good use of the other half of the double bed Buffy was currently using. He could slip in, catch a few hours sleep and sneak out again, or better yet stay and in the morning wake her up in a fashion that was guaranteed to get her attention. He smirked to himself as his mind wandered again, it was a nice idea and it'd almost be worth getting staked for afterwards, but he didn't fancy being forced off this plane of existence right now. He was going to be a father, a completely remarkable idea, but nonetheless true. He wanted to be there when his child came into the world, and for every moment after that for as long as his un-life would let him. So far from dreams of blood and pain, it was with thoughts of the family he hoped he would one day have that Spike finally fell asleep with a smile on his face.

- - - - - - - -

"But Daddy..." the little girl pouted, golden curls of hair falling in her blue eyes.

"No buts now Little Bit" Spike told her in a decidedly fatherly tone, as he walked over to the bed and encouraged her to lie down. She conceded and snuggled back down under the covers as he came to sit on the edge of the bed.

"But I'm not at all tired" she tried one final time to convince him but the large yawn that escaped straight after gave her away.

"Well, maybe you're not" he said, despite knowing for a fact she was lying, "but Mummy and Daddy are so you stay right here until Mickey Mouse here rings his bell" he told her, gesturing to her alarm clock on the table by her bed.

"Okay Daddy" she grinned, closing her eyes immediately and feigning sleep. Spike placed a gentle kiss on her forehead before puling the covers up tight around her and heading for his own bedroom.

"I've been waiting for you" Buffy said in a sultry tone as soon as he came through the door. There she was laid out on the bed in a short and revealing silk night-dress and nothing else, "I was getting lonely without you" she told him with a sly smile as he climbed onto the bed beside her.

"Well, now I'm here" he told her in a whisper, kissing her briefly on the lips before continuing, "So whatever it was you wanted me for..." his sentence was left unfinished as she reached over and kissed him hard, making her intentions even more obvious than they had been before.

"Buffy" Spike sighed as he covered her with kisses, at the same time allowing her to help him undress, "God I love you so much"

"I love you too Spike" she gasped as he ran his hands all over her body making her shiver in a delicious way, "Take me, please" she begged, unable to wait any longer. Naturally he complied and set about making love to her...

Ring! Ring!

The harsh sound of the telephone shattered Spike's beautiful dream into painful shards and he groaned, for more than one reason, as he rolled over and fell straight off the couch with a thump.

"Oh bloody hell!" he cursed, dragging himself up just enough to reach for the phone that continued to ring on the coffee table, "What do you want?!" he said sharply into the receiver, the reply to which was an audible gasp on the other end of the line.

"Oh, I, um..." an English voice stumbled over what he meant to say and Spike frowned from his position sprawled on the carpet.

"Giles?" he guessed.

"Good grief, Spike?" the Watcher finally realised who he was speaking to, "What the bloody hell are you doing with Buffy?" he asked in a decidedly Ripper tone.

"I'm not doing anything with Buffy" the vampire told him tiredly, "mores the bloody pity" he added to himself, finally gaining control of things that had risen to the occasion, so to speak, during his rather vivid dream.

"Look, you stupid git" Giles said fairly angrily, "Is Buffy there or not?"

"She's sleeping" Spike explained, rolling his eyes, "and so was I til you bloody interrupted. What's with the frantic phoning anyway?" he asked, feeling more awake now and puling himself up to sit on the edge of the sofa. He was hoping Buffy was still asleep as he'd said, she needed plenty of rest in her condition.

"I have some news, regarding her child" the Watcher told Spike uneasily.

"_Our_ child, mate" the vampire took great delight in reminding him, "The sprog's mine too y'know"

It was now Giles' turn for a roll of the eyes and a shake of the head.

"Yes, yes, we're all quite aware of your...capabilities" he told him, "Although I must tell you it was entirely temporary and caused by a certain bad choice of words on Willow's part during that confounded spell of hers"

"Well, gotta give Red her due" Spike smiled, "When she starts mixing up her mojo she does a thorough job"

"I'd rather not discuss this with you" Giles snapped a little, "but I do concede that given your status as the child's father you do deserve to know what we've discovered"

"Go on then" Spike held his unneeded breath, "Give us the bad news fast"

The Watcher on the other end of the line was slightly surprised by the apparent fear in the vampires voice. Was it possible for Spike to care for the child, and possibly for Buffy, in any kind of real way. Right now he did not have time to dwell on it.

"The news is not entirely bad" he assured the vamp, "Only of some interest..." he began to explain, telling Spike all about a Slayer's pregnancy lasting six months instead of nine.

"Well, bugger me" the bleached blond was surprised but pleasantly so to find his child would be arriving in the world much quicker than presumed, "Is that all?" he checked, still worried there would be something bad, despite the fact Giles had already told him otherwise.

"Well, there was one other thing" the Watcher finally admitted. Spike could practically hear him take off his glasses and fiddle with them in his free hand.

"Spit it out then" the vampire urged, a lesser known feeling called panic rising in his chest.

"Riley is dead" he said simply, "as is Professor Walsh"

"Well, can't say as I'm sorry" Spike said calmly, "Never cared for that Initiative lot, what with them shoving this lump of silicon into my head and all" he explained, "but I don't love the idea of telling the Slayer her ex-honey just bit the big one...Demon was it?" he added with a curious tone. Giles coughed and spluttered a little before he answered.

"Yes, a demon of some kind, nothing that can't be dealt with" he lied. Spike nodded to himself.

"Right then, if that's all, I best go check on the Slayer"

"Spike?" Giles called, hoping the vampire hadn't hung up yet. He was in luck, he hadn't, "How on Earth did you come to be staying wherever Buffy is?"

Spike smiled as he looked over at the bedroom door that his Slayer had just appeared in, yawning and dishevelled from sleeping in her clothes.

"Silly bint can't seem to look after herself" he told the Watcher on the phone, "It's a nasty job but...someone's gotta do it" he hung up a moment later, barely registering the fact that Giles had warned him not to harm Buffy before saying goodbye.

"What are you doing out of bed so soon?" Spike frowned a little as he walked over to her.

"There was ringing in my dream" she said sleepily rubbing at her eyes, "and banging too"

"I know what you mean" Spike smirked to himself, before shaking his head to remove the thoughts in it. For a second Buffy looked at him strangely and he was slightly worried that she'd learnt how to mind-read. It was a relief when she laughed and slightly puzzling when she reached a hand out to his head.

"Your hair's all crazy" she giggled, flattening it out a little for him, before suddenly realising what she was doing and taking her hand away, "You're a mess" she said more seriously.

"Yeah, well" he shrugged, momentarily confused by the mixed signals, but finding it was fairly easy to be serious when you're faced with the prospect of having to tell the woman you love that one of her mates has snuffed it.

"Buffy, I think you should come and sit down" he said slowly, gently taking hold of her hand and leading her over to the couch.

"What is it?" she asked with panic in her voice, "Is it my Mom? Is it something about the baby? Oh God Spike, please just tell me if it's bad"

"Ssh now Slayer, calm down" he urged her, "It's not all bad" he promised, still holding onto her hand and not wanting to let go yet. She didn't seem to be arguing the point so he decided to leave it be and just tell her what he must.

"First thing is about the nibblet" he explained, gesturing with his other hand towards her stomach, "Seems you Slayers pop out kids one and a half time faster than the average" he told her.

"Well, can't say that's a bad" Buffy agreed, "The less pregnancy I get has to be for the better, I guess" she reasoned.

"Now we come to the less nice part" Spike said quietly, shifting a little closer to her on the sofa, "Buffy, your boy Riley and your Professor...they died, pet" he said as gently as he could. It felt like a knife in his heart as he watched her face crumple and tears ran down her face in waterfalls.

"No" she protested, pulling her hand away and standing up, not knowing where to go once she was on her feet, "No, they're not, you just...you're lying!" she cried, putting her hand to her face and sobbing loudly.

"Sweetheart, you know that I'm not" Spike said sadly, standing up beside her, unsure yet whether touching her was a good idea. He really wanted to hold her and tell her it'd be okay, they'd agreed to be friends so he might get away with it but...

"Oh Spike, why do they always die?" she cried, throwing herself against him and almost knocking him over with the force. His arms went automatically around her, holding her tight and rocking her gently as he comforted her.

"I don't know, luv" he whispered against her hair, before kissing the top of her head, "but I'm not going anywhere" he swore to her, "You hear me?" he checked, pushing her away just enough so he could see her face, "I'm never leaving you, hear that?" he repeated, making sure she understood. She stopped crying just long enough to look him in the eye and nod like she meant it.

Knowing her tears were far from over he pulled her back into his arms, gently rubbing her back and promising it'd all be okay. Over and over he swore to her that he wasn't going anywhere, that he'd always be there for her and their child, adding silently in his own mind, that he loved her and their unborn child more than anything else in the world.

To Be Continued...

A/N2 : Still like it? Review please and let me know. I was little a unsure about how good this chapter really was, although my beta reader assured me it was fine. I'd still like your opinions please! :-)


	18. Chapter 18

A/N : Thanx to all the latest reviewers; freezyboncoolipants, MaidenRo, rubi-elektra, adpi24, MikiBaby, Kari Mouke, spikeswife1, theoneandonlygurl, Lyss, zanthinegirl, libraflyter, kargrif, Moluvsnumber17, slayafreek, CraZy4SpikE09, Screeching Dragon, spuffyfan-1, Spuffyfan4eva, samica, JadedxVampire21, Arisluv, velja, pixiecorn, electricgurl, SSWBA, Mizgeorgiapeach, Moonglow13, Princess Consuela. A special thanks to MaidenRo for the nominations at Love's Last Glimpse :-) Seems some of you are finding bits of his fic you don't like, well, I guess you can't please all the folks all the time...Hope most of you like this new chapter! [This chapter contains some references to Angel Season 1 episodes]

(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 18

A week passed, and in Sunnydale research was the word. The hybrid creature, Adam, who had murdered Initiative commando Riley Finn and it's own creator Professor Walsh, was still on the loose in the town. It was easy to spot where it had been as every morning a fresh carcass was found, sometimes demon, sometimes animal, sometimes human, but always opened up like a surgeon would, either laid out or hung up somewhere. Giles surmised that Adam was studying these creatures in order to gain knowledge of the world as well as himself. Still the Scoobies continued their research into the demon parts it appeared to made of, and Willow did her level best to hack into the Initiative files with her laptop. It was eight days after Adam's escape when she finally got into what she needed.

"Guys, I think I finally did it!" she grinned from her position at the table in Giles' apartment.

"You've managed to hack into Professor Walsh's private files?" the ex-Watcher was astonished but pleasantly surprised when the red-head nodded madly. Tara smiled as she hugged her girlfriend.

"I knew you could do it, sweetie"

"Way to go, Will" Xander chimed in as he came to stand behind his friends chair and look at the computer screen, "'cept none of that actually makes any sense to me" he frowned gesturing with his hand towards the garbled codes that filled the screen.

"The files were encrypted" she explained, pointing at the top of the screen, "but see, where the numbers and letters are unscrambling now? That means, I solved it" she grinned once again, so proud of her achievement. The guilt she felt for inadvertently causing Buffy's pregnancy was still there, but lessened a little since she'd actually talked to the Slayer and been told she really wasn't blamed at all.

"Giles told me Spike was with you" the red-head had commented, "I don't think he could handle telling Xander though"

"Will, do you think I'm crazy?" Buffy had asked, deliberately having waited for Spike to go out before calling her friend, "I mean, I know Spike's a vampire and everything, but this is his kid I'm carrying and...would you believe he's being kind of sweet?"

"Doesn't sound like Spike" Willow shook her head, "Y'know, same guy that tried to kill me not so long ago"

"I know" Buffy had replied sadly, hating to be reminded of the kind of non-person Spike really had been and in some ways still was. That phone call with her best friend had been a couple of days ago now and it was still on her mind.

Away in the apartment in Santa Monica, alone with the vampire who had helped her make a baby, Buffy had been able to relax a little. There were a lot less demons to worry about when you weren't living on a Hellmouth, and without studying, patrolling, and constant worry-age about her friends, Buffy should be mostly at ease. However, one problem remained, and that was Spike.

Far from being enemies, the Slayer and the vampire had what could only be described as a friendship, though with a little more then friend-type affection on at least one side of the equation. What bothered Buffy so much was that she liked him and she was attracted to him, so much so she was starting to wonder if she was falling in love with him as he said he had with her. It made her feel weird, guilty, confused, and weird a couple more times. He was a vampire after all, and not even souled like Angel had been, but he had told her he loved her and it seemed like he couldn't do enough to help her, whilst at the same time managing not to be patronising or make her feel weak.

"Buffy?" Spike tried once more to get her attention, waving his hand in front of her eyes that stared off to nowhere.

"Huh?" she finally snapped out of her thoughts and the vampire smiled.

"Honestly, pet, I don't know where your mind's at half the time" he shook his head as he sat down on the sofa beside her and she automatically shuffled away a little. He'd got used to that these past couple of days. Before she'd been easier with him, more relaxed, but now it was like someone had flipped a switch and he couldn't get within five feet of her without her backing up with that frightened rabbit expression on her face. He put it down to pregnancy related mood swings and such, but it bothered him quite a bit.

"Look, luv, I was thinking" he told her.

"Did it hurt?" she shot back, sarcastic but in a more friendly way than it would have been at one time.

"Ha bloody ha, Slayer" he replied flatly, before continuing with what he wanted to say, "I was thinking we really should get you to a doctor or something, check everything's okay..."

"Spike" Buffy sighed, "Did we not already have this conversation?"

"Well..." he shifted uncomfortably, knowing full well that they had and Buffy had been insistent that she didn't need doctors poking and prodding at her and interfering with what was happening in her body. Spike had made some filthy comment about him having a turn at interfering with her body and the conversation had ended with him narrowly avoiding her right hook. Since then Joyce had called and tried to convince Buffy to see a doctor and when she too was given the Slayer's reasons for not complying, Mrs Summers had put pressure on Spike to convince her girl what was best for her.

"Slayer, why is it you can face off against my kind, and all manner of other nasties, but you're afraid of a little doctor's examination?" he asked, going at it from a different angle. He knew how much she hated being called weak or scared.

"I am not afraid" she shot back immediately, knowing that was a half-lie. In truth it wasn't the doctor or his examination that scared her, it was the hospital they'd have to visit, that and the fact she was having a slightly abnormal pregnancy.

"If you're not afraid, prove it" Spike challenged her, "I'll call up the hospital try to get you a late appointment so I can come with, and I'll drive you over to see the doctor for a check up"

Buffy stared at him for a moment, trying to think of the perfect excuse that meant she wouldn't have to admit to her fear of the hospital. None came to mind as his eyes bored into her own and her mind went mostly blank.

"I don't have to prove anything to you" she said eventually, turning her head away. Spike rolled his eyes. It was always excuses and lame comebacks with her lately. She couldn't deal with him loving her, she couldn't face the hospital...

"You're an impossible bint, you know that Slayer?" he said more tiredly than angrily as he got back up off the sofa and headed for the bedroom door. He would have gone out but the sun wouldn't be down for a few hours yet so the only way to give them both some space was to sit in separate rooms. As it was, he didn't make it through the door when Buffy yelled at him.

"And you're a stupid, worthless vampire!" she spat, "I should have dusted you years ago" she added nastily and Spike saw red.

"Oh, so it's like that is it?" he said, striding back over to the couch and stopping behind it, looking down on her, "Decided if all else fails to bring out the old back up of me being the enemy, huh?"

"You didn't stop being a evil demon just because some spell forced me to carry your kid" she reminded him. He nodded slowly.

"Okay, so I'm still a demon, can't change that" he shrugged, "Can't say as I'm in a hurry to either, but you tell me this Miss High-and-Mighty" he said in a more dangerous tone, leaning over the back of the couch so he was right in her face, "Exactly how many evil things have I done to you lately?"

"You're constantly an annoying jerk" she replied, hoping he couldn't hear her heart thumping madly in her chest.

"Well what can I tell you baby" he smirked, "I've always been bad...but I'd hardly say 'annoying' and 'evil' are the same thing" he pointed out, "If they were you could easily add your entire Scooby gang to the elimination list, including your good self" he finished, still smirking as he stood up straight and walked back towards the bedroom door.

Buffy got up from the couch, fully intending to start a full blown argument.

"You are such a...ow!" her yelled insult was cut short as she felt an odd pain in her stomach and sat down again fast. Spike stopped and turned back immediately.

"You alright, luv?" he asked, hurrying back to her side.

"I don't know I...ow" she said again, her hand going to the side of her swollen stomach. She was the equivalent of almost half way through her pregnancy now and the baby was growing fast.

Spike's expression turned from concern to confusion as Buffy laughed.

"It's kicking" she grinned, "Spike, I think the baby's kicking me" she giggled as it did it again.

"Don't do that to me, luv" the vampire managed a smile, "Had me thinkin' something awful was happening then. Reckon if my heart beat I'd be having an attack right about now"

Buffy was only half listening as the child inside her continued to wriggle and kick. It was weird but sort of nice since it made it feel more like a real person was in there now.

"Here, you have to feel this" she smiled taking hold of a surprised Spike's hand and placing it on her stomach, "Feel that?" she asked him as the baby kicked again, right where their hands were.

"Yeah" he nodded absently, suddenly feeling very proud and so much like a father. That was his kid in there very much alive and kicking. He and Buffy, born to be enemies, had created this tiny innocent being. It was incredible. "Our baby" he said softly, not really meaning to say it out-loud at all but glad to see Buffy smile at him when he did.

Their eyes met once again as they continued to smile at each other, their hands together on her stomach where their baby resided. It could be so perfect, they were both thinking it, if it were as simple as two young people and their child. For a moment they were as they seemed, two ordinary people and a child to be born, a little family so full of love.

"Buffy..." her name came in a whisper from Spike's lips as he leaned a little closer and she closed her eyes anticipating his kiss. Far from the weird and guilty feelings she'd been having before, all the Slayer wanted was for Spike to kiss her now, make this moment even more perfect than it already was.

Ring! Ring!

The shrill sound of the phone shattered their would-be perfect moment and Spike cursed colourfully.

"Stupid bleedin' phone!" he complained reaching for it, "Everytime I get soddin' close one way or another..." he continued, still angry when he put the phone to his ear, "Whoever this is, you must have a bloody death wish!" he yelled into the receiver, and Buffy rolled her eyes. She was disappointed that they'd been interrupted but melodramatic much? There would be plenty of others time when they could get to the kissing, at least she found she was hoping so - what was that about anyway?

"Er, Slayer?" she heard Spike say and was surprised to find him looking awkward and almost embarrassed. She looked at him quizzically as he held out the phone to her, "It's your Mum"

- - - - - - -

"Faith, that is not funny!" Angel tried not to yell at the not-so-obviously-fragile girl before him. It was a while now since the Rogue Slayer had run from Sunnydale and just two days since she'd turned up in LA, hunting down one souled vampire for the cash Wolfram and Hart would pay. After torturing Wesley, hitting Cordelia, and making several attempts at staking Angel, she'd broken down in floods of tears in the vampire's arms. He'd agreed to take her in and help her when no-one else would and she appreciated it, it did not however stop her from taking great delight in telling him his precious Buffy was in the family way.

"It's not a joke, man" she promised him, trying to repress a smile, "I ain't exactly known for my honesty, I get that" she shrugged, "but this is not something I'd lie about, not when you've been, y'know, decent to me"

Angel began to pace up and down the living space of his home whilst Faith sat herself down in the chair and watched with half-hidden amusement.

"I guess I couldn't expect her not to move on...I mean, we are over, but not over-over, I mean one day it might be...not that I expect her to wait because...but she's nineteen that's no age to...unless she loves him and..." he rambled on, mostly to himself.

"Hey, Angel" Faith interrupted, "Not that I wanna stop you mid-rant or whatever but your phone's kinda ringin'" she pointed out. The vampire went over to answer it and found Cordelia was on the other end of the line.

"Hey Cordy, what's up?" he asked.

"Apart from you keeping a mass-murdering woman in your basement with you?" she retorted, "But hey, who am I to judge?" she added quickly, despite the fact Angel knew Cordelia was quite happy to be anyone's judge, jury, and executioner on many topics from fashion to politics.

"What did you call for, Cordelia?" Angel checked, "Cos unless it's life or death, I'm kind of having a situation myself here"

"I had a vision" she admitted, "and can I just say, not getting any less painful, and I have tried every kind of headache pill..."

"Cordelia" Angel said tiredly, "Why do I get the feeling you're avoiding telling me about this vision?"

"As if!" came her typical answer. There was a pause before she continued, "Okay, so I'm a little avoidy but how are you s'posed to tell a guy his not-so-ex-girlfriend is pregnant and probably making out with his spawn's spawn as we speak, whilst a demon terrorises good ol' Sunnydale"

Angel shook his head, hoping that the words Cordelia had just forced into his ear would somehow get arranged into some kind of sane order.

"I know that Buffy's pregnant, Faith just told me" he admitted, continuing before Cordy could interrupt, "but who is my spawn's spawn and what demon in Sunnydale?"

"Angel, get with the program!" his assistant shook her head, "Buffy and Spike with the kissing, and big ugly ass demon in..."

There were few occasions when Cordy could remember seeing Angel with a genuine smile on his face, but to actually hear him laugh? That was an even rarer event, but the idea of Buffy kissing Spike was apparently so crazy it was worthy of a laugh, one that completely interrupted her sentence.

"Hello, not finished here" she pointed out somewhat crossly.

"I'm sorry but..." Angel giggled, "The Powers are playing with your mind Cordy, there is no way Buffy would be kissing Spike!"

"Angel" Cordelia sighed, "I know you have issues where Buffy is concerned, we're all very aware of this, so for now I'm going to let that slide on by, but can we at least concentrate on the nasty looking thing rampaging through Sunnydale whilst the Slayers in her comfy chair wearing a circus tent for a dress?"

The souled vampire was on information overload as he tried to process the crazy facts that had been thrown at him in the past half hour. Buffy was pregnant. Buffy was kissing Spike. A demon was attacking Sunnydale and Buffy was either substantially incapable of fighting it due to her pregnancy or not there to stop it. Despite the fact he knew the whole attacking demon thing was the most important right now, the other two things, the Buffy-focused information, just kept on surfacing in his head.

Cordelia finished explaining about her vision, and the demon before asking that he let her know if he decided to hop off to Sunnydale, she may even go with this time if he needed her too. He agreed, said goodbye, and hung up the phone, all without really being aware of what he was doing.

"Hey, Angel?" Faith frowned at his glazed look as he returned to her, "What's up?"

"It's Buffy" he said flatly.

"Ain't it always?" Faith mumbled to herself, before continuing at a regular volume, "Cordelia just confirm what I told you?" she guessed.

"Why Spike?" he said to himself as if he hadn't really heard her. Faith's frown deepened.

"Spike? As in vampire?" she asked, trying to understand what he was talking about, "As in can't make babies, so what the hell are you talking about?"

Suddenly Angel seemed to notice she was there and talking to him.

"Faith, how about a road-trip back to Sunnydale?" he suggested. It didn't happen often but that actually had the Rogue Slayer looking a little worried.

"I dunno, man" she shifted uncomfortably, "LA's sweet and..."

"You want to atone, right?" Angel reminded her, "Apologising to Buffy would be a start, and helping to fight a demon that she's not going to be able to handle herself now she's...well, in her condition"

"I guess I could but...why do I get the feeling there's more to it than that?" she asked suspiscously. Angel smiled evilly enough to rival his Angelus side when he replied.

"I wanna take a gift for Spike" when Faith looked even more confused he vaguely explained, "Now, where could be buy pokers and a Mozart record at this time of night?"

To Be Continued...

A/N2 : We all remember the Season 1 Angel Ep In The Dark, right? The one where Spike visited LA to get the Gem of Amara from Angel? It's not a big deal but that last line won't make much sense if you don't know that ep. Hope you're all still enjoying the story - review please and let me know! :-)


	19. Chapter 19

A/N : Finally I got around to finishing the next chapter of this story! For those wondering where I've been for the past week or more, I guess you didn't get my email...I've been working on my Spike website, check it out at But now, I need to thank everyone who reviewed the previous chapter of this fic; Princess Consuela, spikeswife1, slayafreek, kori hime, Freezyboncoolipants, Spuffyluvr, Screeching Dragon, JadedxVampire21, rubi-elektra, MikiBaby, Malfeus, pixiecorn, CraZy4SpikE09, theoneandonlygurl, Kim, Eurika, Moluvsnumber17, ms trick, Artemis Moonshine, Steph, spuffyfan-1, sunnyhell, Rachel, naiya-isis, electricgurl, SinisterChic Heather Martin, velja, Katie, Spuffyfan4eva, bo, susan pero - you guys all rock and I love that you continue to support me and my little fic. Although I say little, I think it's gonna get a lot longer yet. Anywho, hope you enjoy this new chapter!

(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 19

"Who on Earth...?" Giles mumbled and cursed as he pulled on his robe and made for the front door. The person on the other side was clearly impatient to be let in, which suddenly had him worried. Had something awful happened? Was it Joyce with news about Buffy, or the Slayer herself in heaven knows what kind of condition?

"I'm coming!" he called as another knock cam on the door.

"...faster if you let me kick it down" he heard the tail end of a sentence from a female voice but the opening of the door revealed only Angel at first.

"Giles, where's Buffy?" he asked, a semi-deadly tone to his voice. The ex-Watcher didn't waver though inside he was panicking. It couldn't be Angelus could it?

"I, er..why precisely did you want to know?" the last thing Giles fancied doing was telling Angels evil alter-ego that Buffy was away, busy being pregnant with his grand-childe's child!

"He knows she's having a kid" Faith chimed in, finally coming into view. Giles inched back a little further, now convinced that Angelus stood before him.

"Giles, I'm not gonna hurt you" the vampire shook his head. He could clearly here the man's heart beating far too fast and the smell of fear was very evident.

"You're not Angelus?" he checked, knowing in all honesty that it did little good asking, as he would probably lie just to gain entry to his home...but then, he'd already been invited anyway. Good God, it was getting worse.

It took fully half an hour for Angel and partly Faith to explain to Giles what had happened, from the Rogue Slayer showing up in LA to her wish to atone to Cordelia's vision. Finally, Giles conceded that it really was the souled Angel on his doorstep with a less evil Faith and he let them in to sit down. He then poured himself a large scotch.

"So, now I guess we come back to my first question" Angel asked agitatedly, "Where's Buffy?"

"I can honestly say I have no idea" Giles tried not to smile. In all honesty he never liked Angel all that much, especially since what had happened when the vamp was Angelus two years ago.

"C'mon Giles" Faith rolled her eyes, sitting on the couch with her feet up on the coffee table til the Watcher's look told her to take them down "Buffy can't file her nails without asking for Watcher's permission"

"Whilst I do understand that you wish to make up for some of the evil you have done Faith" Giles told her in a non-too-friendly tone, "I have to say I am far from your biggest fan and have no wish to hear your opinion on Buffy or anything else for that matter"

"Giles" Angel got his attention back, "You must have some idea where she is" his eyes begged for an answer, "Y'know she could be in danger, if what Cordelia saw in her vision is after her..."

"From your description of the demon, I don't believe Buffy is in any danger" Giles shook his head, taking a seat across from the vampire, "Adam, the demon, is in Sunnydale, and from what Joyce has told me Buffy is far enough away for her to be perfectly safe...in any case, Spike is with her"

"Oh yeah, cos that's so comforting" Angel scoffed, causing Giles to roll his eyes. A pair of vampires with feelings for the Slayer now, perhaps he needed another drink, because the world had clearly gone insane when he wasn't looking.

"Hey, without B around you could still use a little help with the demon smack-down right?" Faith asked the Watcher as he finished off his scotch.

"I'm fairly certain we can manage without your assistance" he lied, knowing a Slayer would be of great use if Adam was as dangerous as he was so far appearing to be. Also Angel, with his fighting skills and experience would be a useful ally.

"Giles, I know neither of us is your favourite person but if you need our help you have to admit it, people's lives could be in danger" Angel reasoned. The Watcher hated that he was right.

"I suppose you could join us tomorrow" he conceded, "Willow, Xander, Tara, and Anya will be coming here in the afternoon, by the time you arrive at sundown we might have our information organised and we could come up with a plan of sorts when we've filled you in on all the details"

"Why wait?" Angel shrugged, "We're here now, tell us what we need to know"

"Why wait?" Giles echoed in astonishment, "Because it is past midnight and unlike some I am not an animal of nocturnal habits" he snapped a little and the vampire got up from his seat, dragging Faith up with him who seemed in no hurry to move.

When they'd finally gone, promising to return tomorrow evening, Giles sighed. For the first time since she'd gone away, he was really glad Buffy was not in Sunnydale. With pregnant women's hormones as they were, the last thing she needed was to be confronted by a seemingly jealous Angel.

- - - - - - -

"Geez Slayer, who knew someone with super-powers could whine so much about a little backache and such" Spike smirked as Buffy lowered herself onto the sofa, complaining the entire time.

"Yeah, well I may be the first person with super-powers to have to carry this kind of weight around all day" she told him grumpily, one hand on her bump. Spike didn't look amused.

"Hey, that's not just some random weight y'know" he cried indignantly, briefly pausing in his tidying up of the kitchen area "That's our kid in there" he couldn't help but smile ever-so-slightly when he said that. The fact he had made a child was a literal miracle, the fact it was with a Slayer was out of this world.

"Our kid who's grown the equivalent of five months in like three and a half" Buffy complained some more. Spike understood to a degree at least why today was complaint day. She'd been up several times in the night, hungry for things they didn't have in the cupboards. He'd gone out and fetched things but by the time he got back she'd been asleep and he didn't like to wake her. It was all very pointless really and all they really achieved was neither got as much sleep as they ought to.

Now she had some back pains and general pregnant lady symptoms that were getting her down. He was also pretty certain it bothered her that the kid might be different - slightly Slayer-ish, slightly vampy, but that was a subject he hadn't dared to raise yet. They'd just been getting on so well lately.

"You know you're not the first to go through it" he said eventually in answer to her complaining.

"Like that makes it better" Buffy huffed quietly but he still heard her.

Spike made a mental note to call the Watcher in the next couple of days, maybe pop to the library sometime when the Slayer was sleeping. He was certain it'd help if she knew more about the other pregnant Slayer and what she went through. Might make her feel a little less alone. He could be there for her but there were limits to how much he could sympathise, he didn't know what she was really feeling.

"Y'know" her voice brought him out of his thoughts and he looked over at her lying there across the sofa, eyes closed "it's like, I know I should want to go back home, see my Mom and Giles and the gang, do my Slayer duty, catch up at college and all...but mostly I just wanna stay here" she admitted, trying to get comfortable "where it's easy"

Spike smirked at that, finally finishing the tidying and leaning on the kitchen counter as he talked to her.

"Easy now is it?" he checked "Being a pregnant Slayer in a strange town, shacked up with a vampire you can't stand"

Her eyes opened then, a frown evident on her face as she pulled herself up enough to look at him.

"You know it's not like that" she said too quietly, if it wasn't for the vampire-hearing, he wouldn't have heard her at that range "I don't hate you anymore, how could I?"

"Seemed to manage pretty well before" he pointed out, somewhat sadly. It hadn't mattered so much in the beginning, the two of them were supposed to hate each other anyway, but later when he'd started to realise real feelings for his Slayer, still she'd insisted they had little more than a messed up kind of a friendship.

"You hated me too though" she frowned a little, mind whirring as she started to wonder if it were possible, if he liked her before all this?

"S'pose" was the only answer she got as he turned away, not really for a purpose but because he couldn't look at her right now, couldn't explain to her all that was going on inside his head and his heart. She hadn't been too thrilled to hear it last time.

"What's that mean?" he spun round at the sound of her voice and the feel of her hand on his arm. She'd covered the space between the couch and the kitchenette at an alarming speed for someone in pain, but clearly she thought this was important, which had to mean something "You were trying to kill me, of course you hated me" she insisted.

Spike looked down at the hand that remained on his arm when he turned to answer her.

"I hated the Slayer" he admitted "Somethin' I came to realise is, there's a person in there too" he smiled slightly as he continued "When you cut the crap and the holier-than-thou attitude, well, let's just say there's not a whole lot left for the hatin'" he ended even more softly than he'd begun. She was so close to him now, warm hand burning a hole in his cold arm, green eyes searching for something in the blue of his, both of them thinking pretty much the same thing. It'd be so easy, feel so good, just to kiss each other now.

"You think it'd be different?" Buffy's voice came out much more quietly than she intended "If we were like, two normal people?" she just couldn't help but wonder, how simple it might be if she was just a girl and he was just a boy and...

"How'd you mean, luv?" Spike asked, daring to hope she might mean what he thought. She was certainly not as disgusted by his presence as she used to be, seemed to regard him as a friend at minimum.

Buffy swallowed hard and thought about explaining when something in her memory banks rushed forward so fast it made her feel sea-sick.

'I just wish we could be regular kids' 'I'll never be a kid' 'Okay a regular kid and her cradle-robbing creature-of-the-night boyfriend...'

"I..er..I dunno" Buffy shook her head, any excuse to break eye contact "Forget it, it's not important" she said quickly hand coming off his arm, backing up a couple of steps "just crazy pregnant lady rambling again!" she started to laugh somewhat maniacally and Spike frowned. Something in that pretty little head of hers was messing around with the pair of them. He had a pretty good idea she had a Giles-shaped Jiminy Cricket type on her shoulder, reminding her that vampires are for killing not for snogging. Either that or she was remembering times with his grand-sire and the heart-ache that eventually brought.

Right now though, he was in no mood to figure out which had got to her, neither did he fancy an argument. She looked knackered and he didn't feel one hundred percent awake himself.

"Okay then...er, do you want anything?" he checked, as she wandered back to her spot on the sofa, and he followed half way "Cos I was thinking of catching a little shut eye. Didn't get a whole lot last night" he smirked slightly and she almost blushed.

"Oh, yeah, sorry about that" she apologised, making no issue about him gesturing towards the bedroom when he mentioned sleeping. Whilst she would be far from comfortable sharing the bed with him, there was no reason why he shouldn't use it during the day.

"No big deal, pet" he shrugged, knowing he'd do anything for her and never complain "Gotta keep Mum and baby happy, don't we? Just try not to have too many weird cravings whilst the sun's up? I'm pretty much over my whole human-torch phase" he smirked and she couldn't help but smile up at him.

"Check" she nodded "No more cravings til it's dark"

They shared a look, a little smile, before he headed for the bedroom door.

"I'll see you in a couple of hours then" he told her. His hand reaching for the door-knob til she called his name.

"Yeah?" he said, turning back. She looked over the back of the couch at him, and opened her mouth to speak but none of what she'd meant to say seemed willing to come out. She wanted to tell him thankyou, for being there with her and helping so much. She wanted to say she was sorry for not being nicer or more grateful before. She wanted to explain that whilst she wasn't sure she loved him, she was fairly certain she liked him a lot, and that maybe one day there'd be something between them.

But stupid fear and worry and panic and a whole load of Angelus-shaped memories blocked everything she wanted to say and she ended up with just three words passing her lips.

"Sweet dreams, Spike" she said a little sadly, wishing more than ever that the pair of them could be normal just so they could see what was between them, if anything at all.

The vampire nodded slightly at her words before disappearing into the bedroom. He closed the door behind himself and dropped down into the bed with a thump. He was almost certain then that she was going to tell him...something. Maybe that she liked him now, maybe that she appreciated him and was glad he was around. He was fairly certain love wasn't going to get mentioned yet but God how he wished it would. He loved her so much it was killing him, everyday the emotion getting a little bit stronger as they spent time together. Sure they argued and bitched at each other but that was half the fun.

As he closed his eyes and let sleep claim him, his thoughts remained with Buffy and their unborn child. Once again, fantasies of how their lives might go from here danced through his mind, and he loved every single one.

To Be Continued...

A/N2 : As usual I'd love to know what you think so review please! Might be a while before I update again, since is going read-only for Monday and Tuesday minimum. Still, I'll try to have some more of this and/or Who's That Guy? by the time the site let's me upload again! :-)

[Extra note for people who have not seen Angel, Season 1, Episode 3 as referred to in Chapter 18 - if you didn't understand that last line, about the pokers and the Mozart music, and you don't mind me spoiling the ep for you, here's a short explanation. Spike followed Oz to LA when he took the Gem of Amarra to Angel (after BtVS ep Harsh Light Of Day). When Angel refused to hand over the ring containing the gem, Spike hired a vampire called Marcus who was a master of torture. The main torture he inflicted on Angel was shoving hot pokers through him, and he found Mozart's Symphony 40 to be very effective background music for the pain he caused. Hope that clears up that slight confusion]


	20. Chapter 20

A/N : What with work being crazy-busy, and me spending much of my spare time watching Angel Season 5 (yes, they finally released the vids and I get to watch! Got up to Damage so far!) there hasn't been all that much fanfic writing going on...until now. I made some time for you guys, namely the fans of Our Little Secret, so I could update today. Sorry it took so long, but I have started Chapter 21 as well and the next chapter of Who's That Guy? is in the works too so you see I am making up for my brief absence! Once again, thanx to the reviewers; Freezyboncoolipants, Screeching Dragon, arisluv, kori hime, Rhonda, rubi-elektra, libraflyter, electricgurl, zanthinegirl, Anyanka0705, Burnz, Artemis Moonshine, Mr Lennox I pressume, pixiecorn, Kari Mouke, spikewife1, naiya-isis, Majin, sPIKEaNDmE, Princess Consuela, Spuffyfan4eva, MaidenRo, AraelMoonchild, Moluvsnumber17, Shania Maxwell, slayafreek, theoneandonlygurl, Higgy's Red. Hope you like the new chapter...  
_(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)_

Chapter 20

"Hey G-man" Xander grinned as Giles opened the door and found the boy there, a pizza in his hands and his ex-demon girlfriend at his side.

"Xander, I have asked repeatedly that you not call me that" the Watcher frowned, removing his glasses and rubbing a hand over his face as he moved to the side of the doorway and let the pair in, "and I thought we agreed to meet at four o'clock, it is now six" he reminded them.

"I had to work overtime at the site" Xander explained as he sat down on the couch with Anya who nodded in agreement.

"And when I went to meet him from work I got all turned on by his manly digging and then we went back to his basement and..."

"Yes, yes, thankyou" Giles waved a hand to silence her, "I'm quite certain I know what you mean without further explanation" he shook his head in an attempt to remove some rather disturbing mental images.

"But hey, we brought pizza-ry goodness" Xander smiled too widely to cover his girlfriends half-made comments, "and it doesn't look like Wills and Tara made it yet either, those naughty little witches"

"Willow telephoned several hours ago" the Englishman assured him, "She and Tara have some ideas they wish to finish researching, possible spells and so forth for defeating Adam" he recalled what the red-head had told him as sat down in his armchair again.

"Spells, huh?" Xander smiled in a filthy fashion, "Working on the spells" he nodded to himself grabbing a piece of pizza from the box and stuffing it in his mouth. Giles was only grateful that Anya's mouth was also full of food, it prevented her from adding her own much more obvious comments to what Xander had alluded to.

"Xander, I do sometimes think that your brain stopped maturing when you hit twelve years old" the older man sighed.

A rather pizza-muffled 'Huh?' was all the boy could manage and the conversation was cut short by a knock on the door. Giles sighed as he realised the sun was down now and that it was most likely to be Angel and Faith waiting outside. Xander was far from the vampire's biggest fan but that was the least of his worries. He still had to explain all the details of Buffy's pregnancy and then move onto Adam's rampage. It was going to be a very long night, and the only reprieve might be the two slightly more sensible members arriving, namely Willow and Tara. With any luck they may even have some good news.

"Angel, Faith" Giles greeted with a nod as he opened the door, "Come in"

They did just that as Xander and Anya swivelled on the couch to look to the door.

"What are you doing here Angel?" the boy asked somewhat nastily, "And whats with bringing Psycho Girl back here?" his voice raised an octave or two at the sight of Faith.

"Is she Buffy again?" Anya frowned, "and if she's not, why is she here? And with Angel? Are you evil again?" she asked him matter-of-factly. Angel rolled his eyes.

"Why does everyone assume I'm evil?"

"The company you keep does tend to reflect back on you" Giles told him with a look, it was Faith's turn for an eye roll.

"Look, if me being here is gonna make everyone all scratchy, I'll just clear out"

"No" Angel cut her off, grabbing her wrist as she turned for the door, "We came here to help, both of us, and it's what we're gonna do" he told her firmly, the look in his eyes reminding her of what had happened back in LA.

Faith nodded slowly.

"Fine" she snapped, making a big deal of snatching her arm away, "Just, don't do that again" she fidgeted uncomfortably before heading for the other armchair, dropping herself into it.

"So Giles" she sighed, "What's the sitch? I mean, like the whole story" she was eager to know so she could fight the big evil and get out of this town again, "Gotta know everything if we're gonna bring the Big Baddy down"

"Very well" the Watcher nodded as Angel pulled over one of the chairs from the table and sat down with the rest of them, "I'll shall start from the beginning..."

- - - - - - -

"I'm sorry, did I wake you?" Buffy looked a little embarrassed as Spike appeared in the bedroom doorway, looking decidedly rumpled after his sleep. The Slayer had been digging through the cupboards, trying to find something she wanted to eat.

"Wasn't you, pet" the vampire smiled slightly, running a hand through his hair, "Cross between the sun going down and growling in my stomach" he admitted, "Seems you're havin' the same problem, hunger-wise" he guessed.

"It's totally weird" she frowned, "I'm hungry but every time I see actual food I get nauseous"

Spike smiled as she poked her head in the nearest cupboard to demonstrate her point. Sure enough her face soon re-appeared, now decidedly green in colour.

"Got yourself in a bit of a pickle then, don't ya?" he commented and she clapped her hands together like a child, a grin forming on her previously sick looking face.

"Ooh, pickles!" she exclaimed, quick to start digging through the contents of the fridge, but the sight of what she sought soon turned her stomach, "Or not" she gagged.

Spike had a hard time not laughing at her, not because she was suffering and he found that funny, but because it was all just so innocent and ridiculously amusing.

"Well, you mind vacating whilst I get myself something to snack on?" he suggested after a moments reflection, "Then I need to pop out so you can go back to your impossible food hunt"

"You're going out?" she asked as they switched places, him moving into the kitchen area to warm himself some blood as she moved to the other side of the counter and hefted herself up onto a stool to watch.

"Yeah, couple of things I need" he said absently as he took the packet of A-neg from the fridge and poured it into a mug. Buffy unconsciously licked her lips.

"You want company?" she asked next, not loving being left alone so much these days. She was used to Spike being there all day and most of the night.

"Er, no" he snapped too fast as he closed the microwave door and pushed the correct buttons, "I mean, no" he said more calmly as he turned to look at her. To her credit the Slayer didn't look at all startled, her eyes were on the microwave, watching his mug spin around.

"Whatever" she replied absently, causing Spike to observe her strangely for a moment before deciding she was probably just tired and frustrated. Nothing to worry about, he told himself, as he took the warmed blood from the microwave and sipped at it - 98.6 and perfect, he realised.

Again Buffy licked her lips, swallowing every time he did. Now he noticed as he watched her from over the edge of his mug. She couldn't possible want...the thought was too weird to finish.

Spike decided to test the theory, putting down the mug of half-drunk blood on the counter, he wiped his mouth on the back of his hand.

"Back in a sec" he said, heading for the bedroom. Buffy smiled as he went, watching until he'd disappeared completely. Her head turned back towards the mug on the counter and cautiously she reached out a hand towards it. She had no idea why but it suddenly looked and smelt so appealing. She had to be crazy, she knew it, and yet she still wanted it. She smiled to herself when she realised the same thought could be applied to Spike at times, still right now her mind was focused on the mug in her hands and the sticky red substance inside it.

Checking one more time that Spike was really gone she lifted the mug to her lips and took a small sip.

"What the bloody hell do you think you're doing?!" the vampire's voice exploded from the bedroom door, shocked to his very core as he'd seen the Slayer pick up his mug and drink. He'd wondered if it was what she was thinking before, he'd hoped he was wrong but apparently not. The shock of his loud entrance made the Slayer jump and spill the remaining blood on the counter as she hopped down from the stool, a kind of grimace on her face.

"You silly bint, what do you think you're doing?!" Spike demanded to know, hands on her upper arms, eyes demanding the same answer as his words.

"I didn't...I-I think..." Buffy shook her head as her hand shot to her mouth, "I'm gonna puke" she mumbled, slipping from his grasp and bolting for the bathroom as fast as she could go in her present condition.

Spike winced as he heard her heave up her guts into the toilet. Seems he wouldn't be getting to the library for past-Slayer research tonight, he sighed to himself as blood ran off the counter and dripped onto his boots. He figured cleaning up the mess would be job one, then he'd go and see to Buffy. One thing was for sure, living with a pregnant Slayer sure wasn't dull.

"...and so it became clear that Buffy is in fact carrying Spike's child"

- - - - - - -

"But that's impossible!" Angel interrupted Giles' explanation loudly, "Vampire's can't have kids, we don't..."

"Yes, we're quite aware of what it is you don't do" the Watcher took his turn at interrupting, "but these were special circumstances"

"It was my fault" Willow added quietly. She and Tara had arrived just a short while before and had joined in the narrative of Sunnydale's events over the past few weeks, "My spell made Buffy pregnant with Spike's child"

"Well, at least they didn't actually..." the look on Angel's face said exactly what he couldn't and Xander shook his head.

"Think again, Dead Boy" he told him, "As gross as the mental image may be, this kid was made the old fashioned way, just with a little extra zap thrown in by Will's spell"

"Yes, thankyou Xander" Giles grimaced at the idea of Buffy and Spike and what they'd done in his bedroom under the influence of that spell. It made him wonder what was going on between them now, wherever they were. It wasn't as if Buffy hadn't fallen for a vampire before, although Spike and Angel were very different...weren't they?

"I'll kill him, I don't care!" his ears tuned back in as Angel began to seeth, "He can't just...he has no right to touch her!"

"Angel, man, take a chill pill" Faith urged him, "S'not like either of them were in the right state of mind. Besides, B's capable of givin' the boy a whippin' if she thinks he needs it" her words did little to placate him.

"I have to see her, talk some sense into her" he continued to ramble on, out of his seat now and pacing up and down, "The spell is over and she's still with him!"

"He can't hurt her" Anya threw in, "You do know about the chip in his head, right?" she checked and Faith nodded.

"I told him" she assured the gang.

"Angel, as you know, Buffy likes to make her own decisions in life" Giles attempted to calm him down, "Sometimes her actions are questionable at best but you must let her make her own way in the world" he got up from his seat and went over to the vampire who finally stopped moving, "You left so she could live her life, that's what she's doing"

"You said Joyce knew where she was" Angel said suddenly as if he'd not heard a word the Watcher had said.

"I did, but...Angel!" the vampire was out the door and gone into the night before Giles could finish what he was saying. Willow sighed.

"Well, that went better than I thought" she half-smiled.

"Did you all forget the big ass demon we have to kill, crush, destroy?" Faith asked a little incredulously, "Cos that's what I'm here for, the big smack-down"

"For once Faith, I do believe you have what bears an uncanny resemblance to the right attitude in this instance" Giles nodded as he closed the door Angel had left swinging violently. He headed back to his seat and continued, "Adam should be our priority, since Buffy is somewhere safe for now at least"

"Then gimme the 411" Faith urged him, "Got me some atoning to do"

- - - - - - -

Angel was furious, hurt, confused, and furious a couple more times! Buffy and Spike? Had the universe gone insane?! The spell part he kind of understood. A lot of weird stuff happened under the influence of the magicks - some good, some bad, some down right freaky, but all could eventually be forgiven when it was over. The problem was, Buffy and Spike were still together somewhere and probably getting closer all the time, unless he could stop it.

Angel knew Spike too well to doubt if he couldn't kill the Slayer he'd try other ways of 'having' her. His charm was practically legend, as much as the older vamp hated to admit it, and with Buffy in her present condition, hormones flying everywhere and feeling more than a little vulnerable and alone...Angel's fists clenched tighter as he strode towards 1630 Revello Drive.

On his way to the front door he made a valiant attempt to calm down but it was far from easy. Still, by the time he reached the front door he'd managed to stop seething, even forcing half a fake smile on his lips. Joyce was not his biggest fan, he remembered only too well, and now he had to ask favours of her? This was not going to end well.

"Hi Joyce" he said, pleasantly as he could manage as she opened the door.

"Oh no!" she yelled angrily, grabbing something from the side table that turned out to be a stake, "Not you again!" she yelled, waving the sharp piece of wood too close for Angel's liking, "Buffy is not here, and even if she were..."

"Mrs Summers" Angel tried to say calmly, "It's you I came to see"

The woman narrowed her eyes at him, keeping the stake raised.

"You're evil again, aren't you?" she swallowed hard, trying to hide her fear. Angel could smell it coming off her in waves, despite her bravado.

"I'm getting really tired of people assuming that" he rolled his eyes, "Call Giles if you don't believe me, he'll tell you I'm okay"

"I had the un-invite spell put back on the house after you left" she lied, "Buffy doesn't know but Willow did it for me, I never wanted you back here upsetting my daughter"

Angel was fairly certain the spell thing wasn't true. There was no way Buffy would allow it and Willow would never be able to keep such a secret from her best friend. Still, he'd come here for a favour and arguing over such things would be fruitless.

"Mrs Summers, Joyce" he began again, "I just want to know where Buffy is so I can talk to her" he said, all innocent eyes and calm tone. Joyce didn't looked at all moved.

"You know she's pregnant?" she asked, not really wanting an answer as she continued, "My little baby girl, having a baby of her own..something you couldn't have given her"

"Spike shouldn't be able to either" he spat more nastily than he meant to in front of her, but she didn't flinch.

"But he did" she pointed out, "Fate or destiny or whatever you call it made that happen. I'm not saying he's my idea of the perfect son-in-law or similar, but he is respectful and polite..."

Her little 'Go Spike!' speech was interrupted by Angel's laughter, pained as it was. This deranged woman actually thought Spike was a decent person, or better than him at least. Things were getting weirder by the second.

"Joyce, he's playing you for fools" the vampire said eventually when his laughter subsided.

"Or maybe it's you who's the fool, Angel" Mrs Summers shook her head sadly, "believing a fifteen year olds High school crush on a mysterious stranger would ever last this long"

With that she closed the door leaving Angel on the other side, mouth open and gaping. He'd been to actual hell and back in his existence, but nothing ever hurt as much as what he'd just been told. The most painful part was, on some level, he knew she was right.

To Be Continued...

A/N2 : Well, this is new - I almost made myself feel bad for Angel...but not much! lol. How about you lot? What did you think? As always, let me know! Thanx :-)


	21. Chapter 21

A/N : I think I'm kinda on a roll with this story at the moment, all my ideas are coming together and I'm loving writing it right now. I'm so glad that all you people love reading it too! Thanx to; libraflyter, spikeswife1, Miss Lesley, kori hime, Spuffyfan4eva, freezyboncoolipants, electricgurl, rubi-elektra, Steph, Batdz Angel, Arisluv, Samolly, Screeching Dragon, MikiBaby, u2fan, theoneandonlygirl, enema, Lady Savage, TammyDevil666, spuffyfan-1, Katie, Melphis, slayafreek, Higgy's Red, pixiecorn, Prophetess of Hearts, Princess Consuela, naiya-isis, Semajyrrah, Moluvsnumber17, velja, MaidenRo, for all the great reviews. That's quite enough rambling from me now, here's the new chapter...  
_(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)_

Chapter 21

It was almost midnight and Buffy was half-asleep on the couch, thinking about all that had been happening to her and what was still to come. This last week she'd grown another clothes size in the stomach area and complained a great deal about it. Her cravings had gone away which she was grateful for, especially after that incident with Spike's animal blood...the thought of that still made her queasy.

Right now, the rain was lashing against the window, thunder echoing in the distance, and Spike was still out fetching groceries. He'd left as soon as the sun went down, telling Buffy she should get to bed. He'd caught her yawning several times as they'd sat either end of the sofa watching some old movie to kill some time. She'd planned to wait til he got back before turning in for the night, expecting he wouldn't be more than an hour at most. So far he'd been more than five and given the present weather conditions too, if it was anyone other than Spike she'd have been worried.

She'd seen first hand how well the vampire could handle himself, and it wasn't like he was going to catch pneumonia or anything. Buffy reasoned there was no need to panic, but it didn't stop that nagging little bit of worry in the back of her mind.

As if on cue there was a knock at the door and the Slayer frowned as she got up from the sofa. If it was Spike (and let's face it who else would it be?) why wouldn't he use the key to open the door? Well, maybe he just forgot it, Buffy told herself, or maybe his hands are full with groceries, or maybe...

The thoughts all died, half made, as she opened the door and Spike practically fell in on her, soaked from the rain and bleeding badly.

"Oh my God!" she gasped in shock as the lightning flashed, illuminating his bloodied form as it hit the carpet beside her feet. He was a mass of cuts and bruises and hardly moving at all, "Spike, please talk to me" Buffy begged, kneeling down beside him as best she could, "Tell me what happened?"

Painfully he turned his head to look at her, reaching out with blood covered fingers to briefly touch her cheek.

"I...I love you" he choked out, coughing loudly and wincing as he did so, "but...it's over now" he sighed as his eyes fell closed and his head hit the floor with a thump.

"No!" Buffy screamed, shaking his shoulders, desperate for him to come back to her. At the same moment, the thunder cracked and lightning lit up the hall, a dark figure striding in through the door, caught Buffy by the shoulders and dragged her away from the vampire.

"No!" she screamed again, feeling so helpless against her attacker she had yet to see. With the swell of her stomach and the extra weight, her centre of gravity was all off. This coupled with her terrible grief over Spike meant she could do little to fight back, "What are you? Why are you doing this?" she cried, tears cascading down her face, body writhing madly, trying to get away. There was suddenly a sharp pain in her stomach, like a knife passing through her and she heard Spike's words again...

"It's over now...It's over on Buffy, you're almost there" Spike urged, gently shaking her shoulders, "It was just a dream...it's over now"

When he'd returned with the groceries, he'd found his Slayer on the couch, eyes closed but flickering madly as she dreamt. When she'd started writhing and screaming he guessed this particular dream was not about puppies and rainbows. He dumped the supplies on the ground and hastily came over to the couch, saying her name and words of re-assurance as he gently brought her out of her nightmare. Her eyes opened but she still wasn't with him for several moments, then suddenly their eyes met and she seemed to be back in reality.

"Oh Spike" she cried, flinging her arms around his neck and burying her tear-stained face in his leather-clad shoulder. He was already soaked from the rain, he figured it didn't matter if she cried all over him. Besides, it was worth it just to hold her again.

"Hey now, what happened here?" he asked, holding her close and gently rubbing her back as she sobbed, "S'alright pet, I've got you, nothing bad's gonna happen"

"It was so real" she choked out, her words muffled by his shoulder, "And I thought you were..."

"Thought I was what?" he wondered, trying to move so he could see her face. Eventually she let up her hold on him a little and hiccuped as she tried to calm down.

"You were gone so long and...the storm, and...something attacked us, the baby, and you were..." she started to cry all over again, grip tightening around his neck as the horrific pictures came back so clearly, "There was so much blood" she told him, going back into his embrace and feeling like she wanted to stay there forever.

Could it be true, Spike wondered, that she'd gotten this worked up over him? That a nightmare about his demise or similar could get her in such a state? Despite the fact she was so upset and he truly felt terrible for her, it gave him that little bit of extra hope he'd been looking for.

She had to care for him more than she let on if she was this much of a mess over a simple dream. He fancied the Slayer had some truly nasty prophetic night terrors in the past, she was probably used to it, but now she was such a mess and physically shaking...or maybe that was him.

"You're soaked" she was telling him when he came back to reality. Her arms were still around him and his around her but they were less close and she was looking at him like a lost child.

"Rain tends to do that" he shrugged, "You okay now?" he checked.

She nodded, seemingly embarrassed by her outburst.

"That must have been some dream to get the mighty Slayer so stressed out" he said gently, pushing her hair off her tear-stained cheek.

She forced half a smile at his humour attempt.

"I'm sorry" Buffy pulled herself along the sofa away from him, til there was a couple of feet of cushioned space between them. How stupid was she? Getting freaked by a stupid dream and throwing herself on Spike? She looked away when she knew she was blushing.

"Hey" suddenly Spike was right back by her side, covering that bit of space she'd put between them, "You have nothing to be sorry about" he told her tentatively reaching out a hand to cover hers where it rested on her knee. She looked down and then up at his face, both of them managing a shaky smile, as the thunder rolled away into the distance and the lashing of the rain on the window settled down to slight pitter-patter.

"I think it's about time certain Slayer-types were tucked up in their beds" Spike sighed, breaking eye contact and moving his hand away before he did something stupid - like kiss her again.

"I'll go in a second" she nodded, grabbing a wad of tissue from the box on the table and wiping her face, "You should go dry off" she told Spike and he seemed to suddenly remember how soaked he was from walking in the storm. He nodded and headed off to the bathroom, expecting Buffy would go to bed.

Instead the Slayer remained on the couch, concentrating on keeping her breathing even. The panic from her nightmare had made her feel sick, her heart beating so violently she thought it would jump clean out of her chest, and her lungs refusing to take air in and out at a reasonable rate. When Spike had held her, it was comforting, but didn't stop the heartbeat thing or the fact her mind was in over-drive.

The more time she spent with him, getting to know the man behind the monster, the more he was making her feel things she didn't think she ever could or would. He'd said he loved her but, not counting her recent dream, that had been weeks ago, and he hadn't tried anything since. Her eyes closed as she considered everything and she was soon half way to dreamland again.

"Slayer, are you...?" Spike stopped when he realised she was still where he'd left her and close to sleep once more. He'd found a towel in the bathroom and managed to get most of the rain water from his hair. His coat had protected his body to a certain degree but the front of his T-shirt and jeans were still soaked through. There was a second pair of pants in the bathroom, drying off by the radiator, but no shirt to be found. He figured since he was going to sleep now it wouldn't matter if he was naked to his waist. He certainly hadn't expected the Slayer to still be on what was his bed these days.

He walked over to the side of the sofa and looked down at her. She appeared as if she'd fallen from heaven, with her golden hair spread around her head, and her angelic expression. He hated to wake her again.

In a daring moment of probable lunacy, Spike slipped one arm around her back and the other beneath her legs, lifting her up off the couch in one motion. She stirred ever-so-slightly, her arms automatically going around his neck to hold on as he carried her to the bedroom. He knocked the door open with his foot, taking the Slayer over to the bed and laying her down. He hated having to let go, to lose the warmth of her body against his skin, but it was not the time for such selfish thoughts.

Spike pulled the comforter up from the bottom of the bed to cover her over and Buffy immediately snuggled down under it. He smiled as he reached out a hand and ran his fingers through her hair.

"G'night luv" he whispered, willing his hand to move away but really not wanting it to. The next step would be to leave the room, something he really didn't want to do yet.

As if she knew what he was thinking her hand shot out from beneath the covers and grabbed his fingers as they moved away. Her eyes were open now, sleep obviously feigned as she stared up at his startled expression.

"Stay" she said almost shyly, and Spike was sure if his heart functioned it would've skipped a beat just then.

"What?" he asked her, unable to believe she'd just said what he thought. They'd stayed in this same apartment for a while now but there had never been any question of them sharing the bed, not since the first night when he'd made a joke about it.

"Stay" she repeated, "I..I just want you to hold me...please" she told him, a slight quiver in her voice that she herself couldn't justify. It might have been residual fear from her dream, but mostly it was because she knew what she was asking for and the idea of spending the night in Spike's arms was so appealing it was scary.

"I can do that" the vampire slowly nodded, inside telling himself he was a total ponce for being so weird about this.

Without a word, Buffy let go of his hand and shifted across the bed to make room for him. It wasn't the first time he'd held her on a bed, it had happened in her dorm one time, but not all night whilst she slept. That was a kind of trust he only ever dared to dream she might come to feel, he was shocked to find it was really happening.

She moved to slip off her shoes and sweater, as he climbed onto the bed beside her. They stopped then, just looking at each other a little awkwardly. Plan sounded great in theory but now it was all a little embarrassing and Spike shifted uncomfortably.

"Maybe I should just go back to the couch..."

Again she reached out to stop him, her arm landing across his bare chest.

"You can't, it's soaking wet" she reminded him as he observed her arm and where it was. Her warm skin made strange but pleasant sensations as it moved against the cold of his own, and he wrapped his arms around her.

Buffy felt oddly comfortable and safe just lying there in the circle of his arms, her head against his chest. She knew sleep would claim her soon, though she'd faked it when Spike carried her from the living room to here. It'd felt so nice, she hadn't wanted to spoil the moment and she found that when he went to walk away she couldn't let him, so she'd asked him to stay.

Deep down she knew what she was doing was a little unfair. If he still felt things for her, like he'd said he had before, it was probably killing him to be this close to her without...doing anything.

Truth was, the Slayer didn't know the half of it. Spike was sure he wouldn't sleep tonight with Buffy's warm little body nestled into his own. He was praying she wouldn't moved her leg too much or he doubted she'd be impressed by what she found. He fought to calm himself down but being this close to her was driving him crazy. Still he wouldn't change his situation for the world. He loved her still, however unworthy he was, but he felt like such a fraud right now.

If she knew the truth this wouldn't be happening. She wouldn't stay in the same house with him, never mind allow him to hold her as she slept. That bloody library, why had he gone there? To find some info on the other pregnant Slayer, to bring Buffy some shreds of comfort. What he'd found out had made him feel sick to the stomach. Nikki Wood, the only other Chosen One to be a mother. The second Slayer to die at the hands of William the Bloody, aka Spike.

To Be Continued...

A/N2 : Well, that was mildly Spuffyish, wasn't it? I know you're probably all craving some major Spuffy action but I have plans that I really have to stick to if this fic is going to work! I promise, by the end there'll be complete happy Spuffyness! In the meantime, review please and tell me what you think of this latest chapter!

Extra note to spikeswife1, and everyone else who commented on Buffy wanting to taste the blood; I read up on some pregnancy stuff when I started writing this fic since I don't know a huge amount about it, and I have heard of the condition pica (Spanish for magpie) where pregnant women crave things like dirt and soap and stuff. The blood craving doesn't really have anything to do with the baby's vamp daddy, just Buffy having a weird craving, or as spikeswife1 said maybe she's low on iron - I just thought it'd be fun to write!

Extra note to Moluvsnumber17, and anyone else confused by Riley saying vamps can have kids whilst everyone else says they can't! Riley's line about sterile vampires being a myth was all about him trying to look more intelligent than he was! We know vampires being sterile is true (according to the Jossverse) and when Riley and the Initiative found out Spike made a baby with Buffy they theorized that the whole sterile thing was a myth, just so they had a theory for the situation - they didn't know what else could've happened! Basically, Riley was an idiot, 'nough said ;-)


	22. Chapter 22

A/N : Y'know this fic is getting severley out of hand! I had planned a much shorter, less complex story than this, and now suddenly we're on chapter twenty-two and the whole thing is spiralling out-of-control! Okay, I'm calm now...I can deal, honestly, it just suddenly struck me how far away from what my original plan I have come witht his story, but you all still seem to like it so, hey, I must be dong something right.  
Thanx to all you wonderful reviewing people - kori hime, Arisluv, spikeswife1, Freezyboncoolipants, Spuffyfan4eva, Screeching Dragon, MikiBaby, theoneandonlygurl, Lady Savage, sunnyhell, Kari Mouke, eletricgurl, Shania Maxwell, Brittany, Artemis Moonshine, Moluvsnumber17, spuffy-fan1, UAEgal, pixiecorn, naiya-isis, Katie, La Diosa, Higgy's Red, sPIKEaNDmE.  
Here's the new chapter...  
_(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)_

Chapter 22

"Man, that was wicked-awesome!" Faith grinned as the Scooby gang arrived back at Giles' apartment.

"We did do rather a good job, didn't we?" the Watcher agreed.

Adam had yet to be defeated, despite various attempts by both the gang and the crumbling Initiative to bring him down. Still there was always more evil to be fought, vampires to stake and apocalypses to avert. Xander, Willow, Giles and the rest had found Faith and Angel to be useful allies in the absence of Buffy and Spike, though none were really willing to admit it. Between them they'd just managed to rid the world of a rather nasty demon clan who had been atempting to resurrect the spirit of their old leader. All in all it was a job well done.

"I'd say thats enough for one night" Angel guessed, seeing the young people yawn and fall into chairs, "Besides I need to check in with Cordy soon, it's been three days since we last talked"

The souled vampire liked to know what was going on with his own team, even if it was only two people. Cordy had only had one vision this past week and had handled it herself along with Wesley. Obviously the Powers That Be knew Angel belonged in Sunnydale, helping the Scoobies bring down Adam and various other baddies whilst the Slayer was indisposed.

"I'm too pumped to sleep" Faith shook her head, "I think I'll take a sweep through a couple of cemeteries" she said, taking a few practice swings with the sword Angel had just put down, "I'll meet you back at the hotel" she told him as she breezed out the door.

"I'll see you tomorrow" Angel nodded to the gang as he too left and Willow was quick to follow suit.

"I think I need to sleep for a week" she declared with a yawn, "but I'll settle for a few hours"

"Come on Wills" Xander smiled, putting an arm around her shoulders, "I'll walk you home"

When the group had gone Giles collapsed into the nearest armchair, deciding he would deal with the bloodied weapons on the table tomorrow. He was starting to wonder if he wasn't getting far too old for all this. He sighed as he poured himself a scotch and removed his glasses, leaning back on the sofa. There was so much still to come, he realised, more demons and then Adam to deal with, that was a puzzle in itself.

Of course what worried him most was Buffy. Somehow Joyce seemed to have convinced Angel to leave the topic alone. He hadn't mentioned the blonde Slayer once since he'd gone to visit Mrs Summers last week. Still it bothered Giles a little that his Slayer was alone with Spike, and having his child no less. He'd spoken to her on the phone, but only twice since he hated to lie to her and knew there was no way he could let her know about the troubles in Sunnydale. She'd be back like a shot, putting herself and her baby in danger, and Giles would not allow it.

It had been a few days since he'd read the Watchers Diaries that referred to the other pregnant Slayer, Nikki Wood. It was getting late but perhaps he should get through a few more pages before he turned in for the night.

Picking up the later dated book he tried to find the required page, but found he'd got it upside down and was actually starting from the back. As he turned the volume around he realised this was the final entry in the book. Morbid curiosity led to his reading just enough to know how Nikki Wood was put to death - on a New York City subway train, at the hands of Spike.

"Oh and, as usual, dear"

- - - - - - -

Despite being convinced he would not be able to sleep at all, Spike had drifted off just an hour after Buffy had. It was only when the sun rose that something inside him, that sense of knowing it was day, woke him up again. For a split second he'd forgotten what had occurred last night, didn't realise where he was. Then suddenly all the delicious memories came flooding back and he looked down to see Buffy lying half next to him, half on top of him, still wrapped in his arms.

Spike couldn't help the smile that spread across his face and he squeezed her just a little tighter to him. Her warm skin was heating up his own, a feeling he hadn't felt in a long time, not counting the hour or so he had in the sun when he'd stolen the Gem of Amara.

Still, this was better, this was everything to him. The woman he loved, the mother of his unborn child, lying here beside him, trusting him in a way he never believed she ever would, though he'd dreamt it often enough.

It seemed a shame that she would wake up soon, then the spell would be broken. Right now Spike could let his imagination take over. He could believe she loved him, imagine all the wonderful things they might have done in that bed to make her so tired, even if none of it were true. When she awoke she would remind him they shared no more than a distorted friendship, a slight trust, and a child formed under the influence of the magicks.

"But just for now" he whispered, kissing the top of her head, "I can believe your mine, until..."

A loud knock on the door woke Buffy up with a start.

"Oh, bollocks" Spike swore as the Slayer's eyes shot open.

"What?...What was?...oh, hi" she was suddenly very embarrassed to find herself effectively in bed with Spike.

"Hi to you too, pet" the vampire smiled back at her, the loud person at the door momentarily forgotten as she stretched her body against his and made him feel all kinds of things he couldn't control.

"Is it day already?" she frowned, still not moving too far out of his embrace, it was just too damn comfy.

"Seems that way, luv" Spike nodded, "but we don't have to get up if..."

The knocking on the door came loud and clear again and the vampire closed his eyes wishing the interruption away. Of course it didn't work.

"Is someone at the door?" Buffy shook her head to clear the fog of sleep and finally pulled herself up and out of bed. Immediately Spike felt the loss of contact as his body temperature dropped like stone.

"Bloody buggering hell" he muttered to himself as he to got out of bed and followed her into the living room, still wearing only his black jeans. Buffy herself was in just pants and the skimpy top she'd had on under her sweater yesterday, and both of them looked decidedly dishevelled from sleep.

Buffy paused by the front door and looked back at Spike.

"You open it" she said, moving back again and the vampire frowned at her, "It's too much like my dream..." she mumbled in response to the look he gave her.

"Come here, you soppy bint" he said good-naturedly, rolling his eyes as he put an arm over her shoulders and headed for the door with her, "Nothing bad is gonna happen..." he stopped talking as he opened the door and came face to face with one of the last people he expected to see.

"Surprise!" Joyce grinned, until her eyes took in the scene, "Oh, did I interrupt something?" she asked with a look. She knew Spike cared for her daughter and that there was less hate on her side these days, but the way they were now, arms around each other and looking as if they'd just rolled out of bed...or were they possibly on their way there?

"Interrupt someth...? Oh God no!" Buffy extracted herself from underneath Spike's arm and stepped away, suddenly realising what her mother was implying. Spike stifled a smirk at her embarrassment.

"Good to see you Joyce" he turned his smirk into a smile as he greeted the older woman and invited her in, lifting her bag over the threshold for her and placing it in the living room.

"I had no idea I'd be seeing quite so much of you, Spike" she gave him a smirk of her own as she eyed his well toned body. Buffy looked shocked and appalled.

"Mom, please" she whined like a child as her face got more and more pink. Spike thought it was fairly amusing really but he didn't want to distress the Slayer too much.

"'Scuse me ladies" he nodded, "Think I'll go locate me a shirt" he smiled as he wandered off to the bedroom again.

"Oh look at you" Joyce said with a smile when she was finally alone with her daughter, "You're glowing Buffy" she exclaimed with a tear in her eye.

"It's great to see you Mom" the Slayer smiled, moving to hug her, "but it was kind of a shock, you never said you were going to come visiting"

"I didn't know myself until yesterday" Mrs Summers shook her head as the two women moved to sit down on the sofa. Thankfully it was no longer wet from the rain water Spike had dripped on it last night.

"Can I get you a cuppa, Joyce?" Spike asked as he came back into the room, still buttoning his red shirt that he was wearing since his black T-shirts seemed to have gone astray.

"Thankyou Spike, I'd love one" she smiled, a little surprised at how 'house-broken' he was "Milk but no sugar please"

"Cos you're sweet enough already, no doubt" he smirked, not requiring an answer as he busied himself in the kitchen, one ear still tuned in to the conversation in the living room.

"So, how are things with you two?" Joyce half-whispered to her daughter.

"I don't know" Buffy shrugged, "Sometimes it's okay and other times, it feels weird y'know? I mean, he is still a vampire but he's changed a lot since the chip and finding out about the baby" her hands subconsciously went to her stomach, resting on her bump as she explained, voice dropping to a very quiet whisper, "I just feel like...even though there's all this stuff we share, there's so much I don't know about him"

In the kitchen, Spike strained to catch every word and then wished he hadn't. It was like she was psychic or something, like she bloody knew without him telling her that he was the reason the last Mother-Slayer didn't see her kid grow up

Now Joyce was here, it seemed he wouldn't get the opportunity to tell her just yet. Whether that was a good thing or a bad thing Spike hadn't quite decided yet. He wanted her to know in some ways, because he wanted her to know everything. No relationship could last based on lies, he knew that. Problem was, he was just starting to get close to her, really close, and that could all change so drastically if he told her the truth.

"You okay, Spike?" a voice said behind him and he spun round so fast he almost dropped the tray of tea things.

"Fine, Joyce" he replied with a fake smile, "Top of the world"

She shook her head in disbelief as he walked past, setting the tray down on the table and seating himself on the sofa.

"Buffy gone to get dressed?" he asked absently. Hearing the water running in the bathroom he guessed she was taking a shower too.

"Spike" Joyce sat beside him and put a hand on his arm to stop him moving, "How old are you?"

He stopped, put the cups down and looked at her in confusion.

"Hundred and nineteen years dead" he told her matter-of-factly, "What of it?"

"You look good on it" she commented, reaching for one of the cookies on the tray beside the tea cups.

"Do I now?" he asked, wondering where this conversation was going. He was slightly concerned she was about to jump him, but maybe that was just his vivid imagination and huge ego.

"Spike, what I mean is...in relative terms you're not that much older than Buffy" she tried to explain what she meant "You look and behave like a pleasant enough young man..."

"But I'm not" he cut her off, "I'm a vampire. Man possessed by demon. And that's all your daughter will ever see me as" he added bitterly.

"I think you're wrong about that" Joyce told him, "You're different, she knows that. Angel was different too, but only because of his soul" she considered, as Spike set about pouring the tea for something else to do, "Look, I don't know all the details or how exactly it works, but it seems to me Angel is good with a soul and evil without it. You have the ability to be a good person though apparently you don't have a soul. That has to count for something" she said, trying to see his face as he kept his head down and handed her a cup of tea, "Angel is in Sunnydale" she said then, knowing it would definitely get Spike's attention.

His head snapped up immediately, as he fought to keep his game face hidden.

"Why?" he ground out. Joyce wasn't the least bit worried by his anger, it wasn't aimed at her.

"There's a demon that escaped from the Initiative labs" Joyce explained quietly, she didn't want Buffy to know, "Rupert explained it but the details are pretty much lost on me, anyway Angel and Faith came from LA to help fight it since Buffy and you were here"

"Does he know?" Spike wondered, looking over at the door that Buffy was behind.

If Angel knew she was pregnant with his kid he was probably massively brassed off and that would usually be fun, but right now Spike was not in the mood for a fight with the grand-sire. If he lost, Buffy would be alone to bring up their child, or worse Angelus would take his place.

"He knows that Buffy is pregnant and that the baby is yours" Joyce nodded, "He also knows that you're with her, but no-one but me knows precisely where you two are" seeing the worry on his face she reached over to put her hand on his, "I promised not to tell anyone and I'll keep my word Spike. I don't want him near Buffy anymore than you do"

He looked down at her hand on his and then up and the soft smile on her face. She reminded him of his own mother, only younger and American obviously. They had the same smile and expressions, kind manners and comforting words. Spike found he was distinctly fond of Mrs Summers. Maybe with her on his side, he could win Buffy over after all.

"So, you gonna give us the latest Sunnydale gossip, Mom?" the aforementioned girl asked as she came from the bedroom, now clean, fully dressed, and drying her hair with a towel.

"There's really not all that much to tell" Joyce shrugged, sipping at her tea and shooting a look at Spike thank thankfully her daughter didn't see, "I was bored and a little lonely so I thought I'd come and visit my little girl, see how you and Spike and the baby were doing" she smiled.

"You plan on stayin' a while?" Spike looked quizzically at her.

"If you don't mind me stealing your sofa to sleep on, I'd love to stay a few days" she said innocently as Spike and Buffy shared a look. If her mother took the couch, that meant the two of them sharing the bed on a regular basis.

Spike dared not to answer, there was no way he was pushing his luck on that score. He was surprised but pleasantly so, when Buffy spoke up.

"Of course we don't mind" she smiled at her mother, "Stay as long as you want"

To Be Continued...

A/N2 : Review if you loved it, and if you didn't...basically just review and tell me what you think anyway, please! Oh, and I've also updated Who's That Guy? for anyone who's interested.


	23. Chapter 23

A/N : Screeching Dragon, Spuffyfan4eva, Freezyboncoolipants, Rachel, theoneandonlygurl, kori hime, Higgy's Red, Lady Savage, Shania Maxwell, libraflyter, Arisluv, Jem, Carol, sPIKEanDmE, Lucky-112, samica, MikiBaby, Katie, PainIsLove, SinisterChic Heather Martin, Moluvsnumber17, Cady Monroe, pixiecorn, Reader, spikeswife1, spuffyfan-1, Spuffyluvr, MaidenRo, slayafreek, zanthinegirl, naiya-isis, Princess Consuela - I happen to think that all of you people are very cool for taking the time to read and review my story, and I know a lot of you do that for every single chapter. I really do apprecaite it. Hopefully you will all like this chapter and send me nice reviews for this too :-)  
_(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)_

Chapter 23

Buffy woke up for the fifth morning in a row to find strong arms around her and blue eyes gazing into her own. She found it was not exactly a bad way to wake up each day, though it did feel a little odd spending so many nights in the same bed as a guy, both of them with most of their clothes on, and never actually doing anything other than sleeping. Those thoughts made her feel awkward and eager to break the silence of the room.

"Morning already?" she said sleepily and Spike smiled.

"Looks like" he agreed, "Your Mum said she was headed home today, right?" he checked as Buffy wriggled to sit up a little more, still remaining in his arms.

"Yeah, she has gallery stuff" the Slayer yawned, "Y'know I asked her if she wanted me to go back with her"

"And what did she say to that?" Spike asked, hoping Joyce had stuck to her plan and said no. If she was so eager to keep Angel and Buffy apart she wouldn't want her girl back in SunnyD, not for a while at least. Besides if there was a big bad around town, Buffy would only want a hand in its downfall if she knew, and they couldn't have that, given her condition.

"She said it was my choice" Buffy sighed, "Which didn't help much, but then she said she didn't mind if I wanted to stay and she understood I was comfortable here...and I think she likes you" she smiled up at the vampire.

"Well, your Mum has good judgement" he smirked, "Reminds me a bit of my Mum sometimes" he admitted without thinking and Buffy shifted position so she had a better view of his face.

"Tell me about her" she said, looking like a child who wanted a bedtime story, despite the fact it was actually time to get up, not go to sleep.

Spike was a little apprehensive. He and Buffy were closer these days, and they'd talked about both their pasts to a certain degree, but Spike mostly steered clear of his human days. He was such a different person back then, though he had to admit, his softer poetic side may well be the first part that fell in love with Buffy.

"Er, well, she was my mother" he began awkwardly, as Buffy listened with interest "Her name was Anne and she was twenty four when I was born...I s'pose you could say she was my world for a long time. She was all I had and vice-versa after my father passed on and then Rebecca..." he stopped short as he was reminded of days he'd tried so hard to forget, overcome by emotions he wasn't supposed to have.

"Your sister?" Buffy guessed at who Rebecca might be. Spike merely nodded, and the Slayer felt sick. She didn't know why she'd asked about his Mom, she was just interested to know what the real him was like, the man she was slowly learning to love.

"I'm sorry" she said softly after a while, reaching an arm across to hug him and resting her head back on his chest. Spike only felt worse when she was nice to him. He didn't deserve her kindness, not when she didn't know...he still hadn't told her about the other Slayer, Nikki. The only other Chosen One to bear a child and he was the reason she'd not seen that little kid grow up.

Spike really didn't want to mention it at all, and found Joyce's presence was a good excuse for staying quiet for the time being, but she was headed back for Sunnydale today and that would be the end of that. There was no way to tell if Giles knew of Nikki's fate and if he did, how long it'd be before he told Buffy. Spike knew he had to tell her before the Watcher or anyone else did, if he wanted a real chance with her.

"Er, we should get moving" he said suddenly, carefully letting go of Buffy and pulling himself from her grasp. He flung back the blanket and swung his legs over the side of the bed, disappearing from the room before the Slayer could figure out what had happened.

- - - - - - -

"So, you're saying this guy has what? Batteries or somethin'?" Faith asked with a frown. Giles and Willow had finally gotten somewhere with Professor Walsh's files and had now come up with several likely theories about Adam. It had turned out to be a more complicated process than previously thought.

When the witch had finished decrypting the files she found that most of the more private documents were in code or other languages. The Initiative clearly took their privacy very seriously. Still, after countless hours of hard work, the Scoobies now found some rather useful information, firstly about Adam's power source.

"All the bodies that have been found" Giles explained, "both demon and human have been mutilated but no parts taken away, bringing us to the conclusion that he is not powered by any type of digestion. In the translation of these documents from Professor Walsh's files" he passed around pieces of paper to the gang as he continued "she often refers to a 'power core' but as yet we have yet to find out what that is"

"So, like Faith said, we're looking at batteries or something similar?" Angel guessed.

"One would assume so yes, which may mean he needs to recharge somehow, though how we have no idea as yet. I'm afraid it's very much a case of one step forward, two steps back at the moment" the Watcher sighed, removing his glasses and rubbing his eyes tiredly.

"Well, anything's better than nothing, right?" Willow smiled hopefully. She'd been working so hard on the whole Adam thing, not really wanting to think about what might happen if they didn't manage to defeat it. She wished most of all that Buffy were back in Sunnydale. She'd spoken to her very little since she'd gone away, much like Giles she was a terrible liar and far too afraid of telling the Slayer all about the latest Big Bad. By now the blonde would be the equivalent of six months pregnant, and in no fit state for fighting anything.

- - - - - - -

"Buffy, I will not fight with you on this" Joyce said sternly, crushing the cheque into her daughters hand, "You can't live on fresh air and if you're going to stay here you need some extra cash" she insisted.

"I have my savings" Buffy reminded her mother and Joyce shook her head.

"You're going to need those for the future" she told her, "So just stop arguing and accept that Mom knows best, okay?"

Buffy couldn't help but smile as she reached to hug her mother, a task made somewhat awkward by her ever-expanding stomach.

"I love you, Mom" she said as she squeezed her tight, "and I'm so grateful for everything you do for me"

"I love you too, sweetie" Joyce smiled, a tear in her eye as she pulled away from her little girl and pushed her hair off her face, "and I'm your mother, I'm supposed to do these things for you"

Next she turned to Spike who shifted a little uncomfortably in the background.

"Take care of my girl, Spike" she told him, "and my grand-child too"

"Will do, Joyce" he nodded, expecting that to be the extent of their goodbye. He was somewhat shocked when the woman came at him and hugged him. He awkwardly put an arm around her and patted her back until she let go and made for the door, picking up her bag as she went.

"I'll see you both soon" she smiled and Buffy did the same.

"I'll call you" she promised as her mother finally left, and again she and Spike were alone.

The vampire still looked uneasy even when Joyce was gone, and Buffy was starting to wonder what was going on. Maybe he was uncomfortable with her mother knowing they shared a bed, or thinking their relationship was different to what it was. There were many different explanations but right now Buffy couldn't be worrying about it. Despite having slept all night she still felt tired and she was getting hungry now. If there was a problem, Spike would tell her. Maybe she was just being paranoid.

Of course at the very same moment she was thinking these things, the vamp himself was in turmoil. His excuse for not telling Buffy about the fate of Nikki Wood had just walked out that door and there was no telling how things would go from here.

Spike sighed as he sat down on the sofa and watched his Slayer in the kitchen making a sandwich. God, he really needed a fag right now, but knowing the damage it could do and with Buffy being pregnant and all he only ever smoked outside the apartment these days. Since it was neither the middle of the night or a distinctly cloudy day, he didn't stand a chance for at least six hours or so.

In a vain attempt to fill some time he flipped on the TV and managed to find a re-run of one of his favourite shows. Pacey's problems had to be easier to deal with than his own right now, he'd concentrate on that.

"Whatcha watchin'?" Buffy asked as she came into the living room.

"Er, Dawson's Creek" he admitted as she came to sit beside him, munching on her sandwich.

"Cool, I never watched it before" she told him and he looked shocked.

"Are you serious?" he checked and she nodded since her mouth was full of food and she didn't think spraying him with crumbs would be a good look, "We need to educate you, luv"

She smiled as she swallowed her mouthful and settled down closer to him, until he put his arm around her.

"So go for it, oh wise one" she giggled, "Teach me the wonders of this show"

"Right then" he nodded as he began to explain all the characters names as they appeared on the screen, going into detail on who was dating who, etc. Buffy threw in her own little comments and giggles at different things he said, and the fact that he knew so much about the show. The re-runs were showing back to back and it was several hours before the pair moved from the couch.

"Well, look at that" Spike frowned a little as he cautiously looked through a crack in the blinds, "Bloody sun's down already"

"Wow, were we watching TV so long?" Buffy asked a little surprised as she got a bottle of water from the fridge, "How did we not notice that?"

"Guess we were just comfy" Spike shrugged as he looked back over at her and she was smiling in this weird way that he couldn't quite figure out. If he didn't know better he'd say she was looking at him with affection or, dare he think it, love? But that was ridiculous.

"I..I'm gonna pop to the shops for more supplies" he said, shaking his head an breaking their gaze, "Might swing past the butchers too, reckon I'm getting low on blood"

Buffy nodded in agreement, thankful they'd found that butchers shop not too far away. Their first night there, Spike had stolen human blood from the hospital. It made her more comfortable to know that what he drank now came solely from four legged creatures.

Spike made the most of his time out of the apartment, managing to get through most of a packet of cigarettes between the shops and home. Remembering the big deal Buffy made about him smelling like an ashtray whenever he'd been out smoking, he always made sure he had some chewing gum on him. It wasn't like she was prone to snogging him or anything (only in his dreams!) but they were a lot closer these days and she noticed stuff like that. He liked to make an effort to do stuff she'd appreciate, though he liked to think he was still the Big Bad so he almost always spat the gum out in the street.

He came in the front door and found the living room and kitchen to be empty. Buffy must already be in bed, he realised as he put his blood away in the fridge along with the groceries that were to be kept cold. The rest of the supplies were put in their places in the cupboards and he took off his coat, draping it over one of the stools by the kitchen counter.

It wasn't all that late and yet it did seem like Buffy had gone to bed. It worried him a little and he paused by the bedroom door wondering if he should just walk in or not. Deciding to knock first he did just that and heard her call for him to come in.

"You okay, luv?" he asked when he found her already in bed.

"I'm fine" she assured him, "I was just...waiting for you"

There was something about the way she said it that gave Spike the shivers. Her tone was reminiscent of that she used in some rather vivid dreams he'd had, none of which he would ever dare tell Buffy about for fear of being staked on the spot!

He didn't say anything as he walked around the bed, took off his boots and climbed in next to her. She immediately cuddled up to him and he automatically wrapped his arms around her.

"Whats with the shirt?" she asked, looking up at him and he gave her look that said he had no idea what she meant, "You don't usually bother wearing a shirt when you sleep" she explained and Spike looked down at his chest as if it were a shock to see clothing there.

"I dunno" he shrugged, "Just didn't think about it" he told her, wondering if she knew what she was doing to him as her fingers drew random patterns up and down his arm. Besides, why was it suddenly a big deal that he was sleeping with his shirt on? Did she like him shirtless or something? Tonight was just getting weirder...

"Can I ask you something?" she asked him after a moment, and he fought a few natural urges as her foot skimmed his leg under the blanket.

"Anything, luv" he managed to say quietly.

Despite being told she could say whatever she liked, Buffy was silent for a full minute before her question was asked in barely a whisper.

"Do you still love me?"

Spike was sure if he had breath it would've caught in his throat, if he had a heart-beat it would've ceased right there and then. How could she ask him that? Was it not obvious to her?

"Buffy" he said, moving to see her better and ending up with his face mere inches from hers, "Of course I still love you, did you really think I'd ever be able to stop?"

"I don't know" she said in a whisper, gaze flickering between his lips and his eyes, "You only said it once and then...I just wanted to know for sure, before..."

"Before?" he prompted, though he was fairly certain he knew where she was going with this, at least he really hoped he did as she leaned even closer.

"Before this" she said finally, right before her lips met his in a sweet kiss. He was surprised but not stupid enough to let the moment pass. His arms wrapped more tightly around her, though he was careful because of the baby as he initiated a second kiss that went a little deeper than the first. She seemed to be okay with that as she responded to his touch, her hands running up and down his back as the kiss went on.

Spike had waited so long for something like this to happen between them. What they'd done under Willow's spell had been great but this was something else entirely. This was coming from just the two of them, no outside influence. What they did was by choice and free will alone.

His hands gently caressed her body as he kissed a path down her neck making her gasp.

"I want you Spike" she whispered near his ear, "It'd be okay...if you wanted to..." she told him. She'd checked before, if it was okay to have sex during pregnancy. All the books and magazines had said it was fine and she really wanted to right now. She was more than a little surprised when Spike stopped kissing her and she opened her eyes to find he'd moved completely away from her.

"Spike?" she frowned as she looked over at him, "What's wrong?"

"S'nothing pet" he shook his head, turning onto his side so he didn't have to look at her. God he'd waited for this so long, and now she was offering, all ready and willing, and the damn conscience he wasn't even supposed to have was stopping him.

"Honestly Spike, it won't hurt the baby, I promise" she assured him, knowing how much the unborn child meant to him and figuring maybe that was his problem.

"I know that" he told her, still not willing to face her. He only did so when he smelt salt and knew she was crying.

"It's me, isn't it?" she asked, trying not to sob but finding she couldn't help it, "I'm just not attractive this way" she gestured down towards her bump beneath the blankets and Spike got a little angry as he took hold of her chin and turned her head to face him.

"You are beautiful" he said firmly, "You hear me? You're the most stunning, gorgeous woman in the whole world, and knowing you're carrying our child makes you even more bloody wonderful to me" he promised her, so much truth in his eyes she had to believe.

"Then why?" she asked, swallowing hard. If she meant this much to him, why couldn't he give her what she wanted?

"Because..." Spike sighed, knowing if he didn't tell her he'd never be able to get close to her, "Buffy there's something I have to tell you, and I should have done it before but...well, I'm doing it now, I s'pose" he said sitting up straight. Buffy pulled herself up next to him and waited for the bad news she was fairly certain was coming.

"I did some research" Spike continued, studying the fraying edge of the blanket in his hands, "I wanted you to feel better about being a pregnant Slayer and all, so I went to the library to find more info on the other one that had a kid"

"Go on" Buffy urged when he paused too long.

"Her name was Nikki Wood and she was the Slayer in New York in the seventies" he continued, still looking down at his hands and not at the girl beside him, "In 1973 she had a son called Robin, but by 1977 she was killed...by a vampire"

"That's awful" said Buffy, "but I don't see why you..." her words died on her tongue as Spike finally looked over at her, the answer to her unasked question clear on his face.

"You?" she gasped out, not expecting that at all, and Spike nodded.

To Be Continued...

A/N2 : I know, I know, just when they were getting close it all got ruined, but I gave you a little bit of Spuffy goodness so I'm hoping that'll be enough for now. Review please and let me know what you think :-) Oh, and I've also updated Who's That Guy? if anyone's interested.


	24. Chapter 24

A/N : Woah, it still astounds me that this fic has so many reviews. 740?! My God, you people must be even crazier than me! But I think you're all awesome and I love that you all take the time to read and review. Thanx to; naiya-isis, Freezyboncoolipants, rubi-elektra, Spuffyfan4eva, Katie, sPIKEanDmE, Arisluv, Steph, wicked-angel3, kori hime, Screeching Dragon, spikeswife1, CraZy4SpikE09, Eurika, Lady Savage, pixiecorn, Lucky-112, Bridge, ms trick, MaidenRo, Moluvsnumber17, SSWBA, Mullocks, PainIsLove, Cady Monroe, theoneandonlygurl, Lindsay, MikiBaby, kita, velja, i heart u, XxsarahxX, JadedxVampire21, Princess Consuela, Moonglow13, BiWiccanPrincess. Here's the new chapter!  
_(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)_

Chapter 24

Of course Buffy knew Spike had killed people, hundreds of people, just as Angel had, but hearing that he'd been the murderer of the only other woman to go through what she was experiencing now, it was a little too much to take in.

"Buffy?" she hadn't spoken for fully five minutes and Spike was concerned. He reached out a hand to her arm and she flinched away violently. That hurt more than he could ever say.

"I need you to go" she said, not looking at him, "Just, I can't have you this close, I can't..." she was getting upset, more than he could bear and he quickly got out of the bed and headed for the door.

"I'll take the couch, no problem" he lied, knowing it was a problem. He hated that she couldn't even look at him now. He knew this would change things, that's why he hadn't said anything up to now.

The truly awful thing was knowing just how far Buffy would've let him go tonight if he'd have kept his big gob shut! Spike was frustrated and angry, and positive he wouldn't be getting much in the way of sleep tonight. He loved this woman, she was having his kid, and she was two steps away from letting him take her to heaven and back, and the whole thing had got completely ballsed up! And for what? he asked himself. All this because he couldn't bear to lie to her. He sighed as he sat down on the sofa and put his head in his hands.

For ten minutes he sat there going over and over it in his mind. Trying to figure out how his unlife had taken such a turn. How he'd gone from Slayer-killing Master Vampire to handicapped and housebroken father-to-be of the current Chosen One's child. He hadn't fed off a human in months, some vampire he turned out to be. He hadn't had a decent shag since the spell that had gotten Buffy pregnant, and yet when it was offered to him on a plate, he'd turned it down, for the sake of telling a truth that was pretty much irrelevant, it happened so long ago.

Spike let out a painful laugh.

"I am such a stupid sod" he cursed himself, running his hands through his hair.

"No" said a soft voice from the bedroom doorway and he turned to see Buffy standing there, "No, you're not...if you were really so bad you wouldn't have told me the truth the way you did"

"Not so sure about that, pet" Spike shook his head, his gaze never leaving her form as she walked over to him and sat down in the armchair a couple of feet away.

"How long have you known?" she asked, looking down at her hands as her fingers fidgeted together.

"'Bout me murdering the other mother-Slayer?" he said too flippantly, "Since that night you had your scary dream, wanted me to hold you while you slept" he admitted, not able to look at her as he did so. He knew she probably wouldn't even have allowed him to do that if she knew the truth.

"You didn't know back then?" she asked quietly, "That she had a child?"

"I didn't know" he assured her, "though, honestly, probably wouldn't've made any difference" he shrugged, picking at the remains of black polish on his finger-nails.

Buffy was a little shocked by that and when she didn't speak for several moments, Spike looked over at her and saw that disgusted expression she did so well. As much as it hurt it angered him a little too.

"Don't give me that bloody awful look" he snapped, "You don't understand what it was like"

"Oh I understand" Buffy told him, trying to keep the tremble from her voice and the tears from her eyes, "You killed a woman, took a mother away from a small child..."

"Took away a lot of people's mothers" he said dangerously low, "Almost as many as Angelus" he couldn't resist bringing his grand-sire's own body count into this.

"At least he feels bad about it" she shot back, anger flashing in her eyes.

"Oh yeah" Spike yelled incredulously, "He feels soddin' awful doesn't he?" he waved his arm in emphatic gestures, "Gypsies stick a bleedin' conscience in the bastard and suddenly he's Mr Wonderful"

"Don't turn this around on Angel" Buffy told him sternly, "He never killed Slayers"

"Well, it wasn't for the want of trying!" Spike was getting angrier by the second, "Who do you think taught me everything I know? About torture, and evil, and death..."

"I don't want to hear this" the Slayer shook her head and made to stand up. Spike grabbed her hand.

"Well you're bloody well going to hear this" he told her as she smacked his hand away from her own. Her eyes flashed angrily as he glared back at her. If it wasn't for her condition and his chip, there was no doubt in either of their minds they'd be in major fight mode by now. As it was this would have to be settled with words.

"Okay" Buffy said once she gained some control over the violence that was raging inside her, "Explain to me how you can justify killing the only other woman to be in my situation" she said, settling back in the chair as she awaited his answer.

Spike looked at her for a while, the nasty scowl on his face dissolving slightly as he worked out how best to say what he needed to. The first words that fell from his lips into the silence were more than a little surprising to Buffy, though they shouldn't have been really.

"I don't justify it" the vampire told her, "I don't, because I don't have to, and I won't apologise either...because I'm not sorry" he said seriously as ever he'd said anything.

The Slayer's mouth fell open of it's own accord and she gaped at him.

"You're serious" she realised when he looked back at her without emotion.

"Deadly" he assured her, going on to explain further, "She was the Slayer, I'm a vampire. Fights like ours were always going to lead to death. It's always the same. It's your life or theirs, that's the choice we have. Survival instincts just refuse to let it to be yours"

Buffy realised she couldn't really argue with that. The Slayer was destined to kill vampires and demons. If she attacked them though they didn't just roll over and die, they had a reason for being too. No-one wanted to be killed, well no stable sensible person wanted that. Vampires were at least half human after all, and Spike it had seemed was even more than that, but now as he sat there and told her how much he didn't care about the death and suffering he'd caused, it made her feel sick.

"I know what you're saying makes sense" she admitted, "but I can't deal with the fact that you killed her and can't even care"

"There's a part of me that cares" he said suddenly, eyes boring into her once again, and despite the fact she wanted to look away, Buffy found she couldn't, "Same part of me that loves you, and I don't know what that is but, I feel bad for what I did because you don't approve, because it hurts you to know what I was"

"I already knew what you were" she said barely above a whisper, "I just...you made me forget, I think" she realised.

The more she'd gotten to know the man that Spike could be, she'd put all thoughts of the demon he had been out of her head. In some ways that was a good thing, learning to love what he was rather than what he used to be, but that demon still resided deep inside, even if it's escape would cause the man such pain, it was still there. One day, if the chip broke down or was removed, that demon could be free once again. Was it so sensible to forget what Spike was really capable of?

"I'm not going to lie to you, luv" his voice broke the silence, so much softer and sincere again now, "I did a lot of bloody damage in my day, caused a lot of pain and torment, and killed a lot of people" he explained, "They put this chip in my head and did me for good, they physically held me back from the killing...but even if it disappeared tomorrow, I don't think I could go back"

"Why?" she wondered aloud and he managed half a smile.

"Thought that was bleedin' obvious" he said, "You'd hate me, even more than you do now if I went back to my Big Bad evil habits, and for some screwed up reason, I just can't have you hating me anymore"

Tears she'd been trying to push back for so long finally fell from Buffy's eyes, cutting tracks down her cheeks. She wiped them away with her hand and sniffed.

"I don't hate you" she promised in a small voice, "but I can't...things can't be the same, not for a while at least" she tried to explain, "I need to process everything and...I think maybe it'd be better if you went back to sleeping on the couch for now" she suggested. Spike only nodded. He'd expected worse in some ways, at least she didn't hate him and that was start. He was still in one piece, no missing limbs or threats of a good staking, but he'd lost some of her trust and that affection she'd been getting for him. He could see in her eyes that things were going to be different from here on out, for a while at least.

- - - - - - -

"Master, we have news" one of Adam's vampire lackeys was practically bouncing with excitement when he returned to the lair, "the Slayer in town is not the original, she is the Rogue Slayer"

"Yes, I have heard of this" the hybrid nodded, "Two Slayers at one time, brought about by the death and resurrection of the first...this Rogue Slayer should be equally as strong as her predecessors"

"She's completely psycho!" the vampire explained excitedly, Adam as always remained calm.

"It is not important at this stage which Slayer is present, though when the time comes we will need the assistance of one" he considered, "In the meantime, keep a watch on the girl, and continue with your work" he dismissed the vampire who half-saluted before leaving the cave and heading back out into the dark night. He knew what his task was, the same as it had been for the past couple of weeks. Though Adam had never explained _why_ he wanted as many demons as possible inside the Initiative, so that they could be a part of his plan, the vampire was too afraid to go against him after seeing several of his gang be killed for less by the larger demon.

What he really didn't understand was what part the Slayer played in all of this, either the blonde one, Buffy, or the Rogue they called Faith. With any luck this plan would lead to both their deaths in the end. With no Chosen One hanging around Sunnydale, it'd be party time for the vampire gangs.

For a while things had looked promising when Spike, known throughout the underworld for being a Slayer of Slayers, had returned to the Hellmouth, but he'd been neutered and now he fought at the Chosen One's side instead of against her. Hold on a sec, hadn't he disappeared just about the same time the blonde Slayer had?

The vampire was just about to turn back from the dark cemetary, to run back down the tunnels to tell his leader, Adam, what he had realised when a fist struck him across the face.

"Hey, so much for a quiet night" Faith grinned, "Well, y'know, I only get bored when you guys play nice" she told him as she kicked him on the crotch and brought him down.

There'd been a distinct lack of vampires when she'd patrolled the last few nights, unless you counted Angel who sometimes accompanied her, and Faith didn't. If the vamps weren't in the graveyards, then where the hell were they hanging?

- - - - - - -

It was past midnight, but Buffy had a phone call she needed to make. Spike had left the apartment ten minutes before with a tap on her bedroom door and a brief explanation called through that he needed some fresh air. Buffy knew it was bull, especially when you consider that vampires don't actually breathe, but she didn't argue. She was hurting, he was hurting, it was a whole big hurt-fest at the Santa Monica getaway tonight.

There was still one thing the Slayer needed to know and so she'd come out into the living room, picked up the phone and dialled a number she knew by heart. It felt as if it rang a million times before he picked it up, then finally the familiar voice asked groggily who was calling at such an hour.

"Giles, it's me" Buffy told him, and she could almost hear him snapping awake with panic.

"Buffy, is something wrong? Is it the baby or..." he began to ramble.

"Giles, breathe" she urged him, "I'm fine, I promise...I just have to ask you something" she told him, feeling a little stupid for getting him out of bed to do this. It wasn't as if it would change anything.

"Ask away" said her Watcher calmly, though inside he was going crazy with worry.

"I need to know" she began, "did you know that Spike killed the only other Slayer who was a mother?" she asked all in a rush, almost feeling as if she was accusing her father-figure of something awful, though of course she wasn't.

"I must confess I did Buffy" Giles said fairly guiltily, "I read it in the Watcher's Diaries of Bernard Crowley, but only a few days ago and I felt in such a terrible position, stuck between wanting you to know the truth and protecting you and..."

"Giles, it's okay" she interrupted his ramblings again, "I get why you didn't tell me and it's fine. We're good, I swear"

"Very well" he nodded to himself, grateful for small mercies "Out of interest, how did you find out yourself?"

"Spike told me" she said practically whispering. She really didn't like to think about it, and she certainly wasn't prepared to explain to Giles why he had told her, or what they'd been doing before the confession.

"Ah, yes, of course" Giles wasn't really sure why Spike would suddenly have told Buffy, but then he knew very little of what was happening between them...wherever they were, "Er, how are you?" he asked next, trying to work out in his sleep-deprived brain just how pregnant the girl would be by now, trying to picture how different she probably looked.

"As well as a pregnant Slayer can be" she said after a moment of silence, "To be honest I'm kinda missing killing the evil undead" she laughed lightly until she looked up and realised Spike and returned to the apartment. The look on his face wasn't pleasant and she wondered how much of her conversation he'd heard. As it was he'd caught just the tail end of that sentence 'killing the evil undead'.

"Anyway, I should go" she said into the phone, eyes remaining on Spike who stood staring back at her, "You need to sleep, I need to sleep, y'know night-time and everything" she managed to sound nonchalant enough that Giles just smiled and said goodnight, and reminded her to call anytime she needed anything.

As she hung up, Spike finally spoke.

"Watcher was it?" he asked with a tilt of his head, "Or one of your Scooby crew? Probably your boy Xander encouraging you to off me first chance you get, right?" he said somewhat nastily and Buffy looked away from the glare of his eyes.

"I hate you when you behave like this" she shook her head and he tried to control the sadness and anger that erupted in him.

"Like what?" he ground out and she looked back up with fire in her eyes.

"Like a jerk" she told him, pulling herself up from the sofa and getting in his face, "This is how you were before" she reminded him, "I hated you then, but you changed and I was starting to think maybe I..." she wavered then, the intensity of his gaze, the hope in his eyes, throwing her all off course. She looked away and righted herself before continuing, remembering why she'd started yelling in the first place "Now suddenly we talk about your Slayer-killing adventures and you're right back to being a pain in my ass!"

"Mark my words, Slayer" he replied, voice dangerously low, "if you weren't carrying my kid in there and I hadn't got this bleedin' chip in my skull, it'd be more than just your ass that was in pain"

"You bastard!" she shot back, throwing a fist across his face, causing his head to snap violently to the side. He winced with the pain but pulled his face back round to look at her, forcing down the demon guise that so wanted out to play. He didn't have to say or do anything, looking at her was enough. She knew she shouldn't have done it, it was unfair when he'd not really done anything to her and he couldn't and wouldn't fight back.

"Spike, I..." she began but he held up a hand to silence her and stepped away at the same time.

"Save it, Slayer" he said sadly, heading for the bathroom, anywhere would do just so he could get away from her "Really don't wanna know" he said right before the door clicked shut and the lock slid into place.

Buffy closed her eyes, allowing the tears she'd been trying to hold back finally run down her cheeks. Why was it that everytime things seemed to be going okay in her life it all got screwed up by men, violence, her own stupidity, or a combination of all of the above? That was a question she was too tired to ponder now as she silently took herself back to the bedroom to sleep.

Mom always told her, 'Sleep on it. Things'll look better in the morning'. Buffy doubted she'd be so lucky this time.

To Be Continued...

A/N2 : More coming soon. In the meantime, you know what to do ;-)

Extra note : For anyone who is thinking that Spike wouldn't say 'ass' he'd say 'arse' cos he's English, I thought of that, since I am English myself, but if you listen when Spike says the word he does say it the American way. Clearly JM had trouble with the accent on that word, but he does so well most of the time (and he's so damn gorgeous) I can forgive him :-)


	25. Chapter 25

A/N : Greetings fanfic readers/reviewers and welcome to another fabulous installment of Our Little Secret...okay, so the fabulous part isn't necessarily true, you have to decide that for yourselves, and review and let me know! Thanx to everyone who reviewed the previous chapter; Onion Petal, electricgurl, BiWiccanPrincess, kori hime, Screeching Dragon, Freezyboncoolipants, spikeswife1, SlayerGirl1212, Cady Monroe, SpyderGamesGurl, Bridge, Princess Consuela, wicked-angel3, theoneandonlygurl, sPIKEaNDmE, MikiBaby, Shania Maxwell, Leianneae, Lady Savage, Kari Mouke, Squirl, MaidenRo, Moluvsnumber17, ms trick, spuffyfan-1, rubi-elektra, pixiecorn, Mullocks, i heart u, Brittany. Oh and hey, I am so cool, I managed to start a whole debate on the word ass/arse! How cool is that! Okay, enough rambling, time for story...

(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 25

Spike was at the end of his tether, practically climbing the walls of the apartment in Santa Monica. He'd been walking on bloody eggshells for the past week, ever since he had admitted to Buffy that he was the vamp that took out Nikki Wood, the only other Slayer on record to have had a child of their own.

She'd got upset then angry, soddin' hell the chit had a right hook on her. The bruise the hit on the chin left lasted two days, despite his vampiric healing. He knew in some ways he deserved it, and it wasn't just the fact of his chip why he wouldn't hit back, there was the baby to consider. Besides, he loved this woman, he was not going to start knocking her out just for the hell of it. He may not have a soul but he couldn't find it in himself to seriously want to hurt her anymore.

Maybe that chip those Soldier Boys shoved in his cranium had some other function, like as well as preventing him from harming humans it took away his want to do it, though it only seemed to be Buffy that he wanted to keep safe. One thought of the Whelp or his grand-sire Peaches and Spike was in a right good killing mood.

Of course deep down he knew the reason, it was the ridiculous amounts of love he felt for the Slayer. To think that just a few months ago he was taking the piss out of Angel, calling him perverted and abnormal for going with the Slayer, now here he was wanting nothing more than to put things right between him and Buffy. There was however one feeling in Spike that was even stronger than love or hate, and that was his obstinacy.

Spike had a stubborn streak a mile wide, something that Buffy also possessed. Therein lay the reason why the argument of a week ago had yet to be resolved. Before that night, things had been going along swimmingly. The Slayer had started trusting the vampiric father of her child and even liking him, enough to want to spend the night doing something more adventurous than sleeping, but these past seven days, the bedroom had been a no go area for him when she was in there and every time they got close, even brushing past each other in the kitchen she'd flinch away, not scared of course, but clearly uncomfortable.

Trying to be considerate and understanding and helpful, at the same time as trying not to want her so damn much, it was all slowly killing Spike, and yet he refused to be the first to apologise, and since she was also inclined to wait for him to make the first move it seemed pretty hopeless.

Right now, Buffy was curled up on the couch, as comfortable as was presently possibly, with her favourite book in her hands, whilst Spike warmed himself some blood, intentionally taking longer than he needed too. It was much easier to just stay out of each others way at the moment, they had found.

What Buffy didn't know was that Spike had a plan. She'd mentioned something about taking a bath when she got to the end of her next chapter, of course that was three chapters ago and she was still engrossed, but eventually she'd lock herself in the next room and he could use the phone without her hearing every word.

He needed some advice and there was only one man that'd have the answers. He sighed as he glanced over and took in the photo on the front of the autobiography in the Slayer's hands.

'I'm counting on you to figure this out for me, mate' Spike thought to himself, willing the guy to be useful when he called and explained his problem 'Really need your help right now, Jonathan'

- - - - - - -

"I can't believe I was so stupid" Faith cursed herself as she came into Giles apartment, followed by the Scoobies and then Angel who carried a small man in his arms.

"Faith honey, it really wasn't your fault" Jonathan assured her as he was placed down on the couch and Giles took a closer look at the cross-bow bolt wedged in the younger man's foot.

"But I should have been more careful" she told him, "I can't believe I...I'd never deliberately hurt you Jonathan, I mean, anyone else maybe, but not you" she promised him, close to tears.

"Sweetie, it was an accident" he told her taking hold of her hand as she knelt beside him, "It could have happened to anyone, and it's easily solved" he smiled. Closing his eyes he reached a hand out towards his foot, whispered a few words and the gang looked on in amazement as an orange glow appeared around the man's foot. A second later a flash almost blinded them all and then the arrow was gone, leaving no wound, not even a scratch behind.

"Oh Jonathan, I wish I were as good with the magicks as you are" Willow enthused. Tara nodded in agreement.

"One day you might just be" he told them with a smile as he got up from the couch on his now both stable feet, "but right now I'm afraid I have to be getting home" he said, heading for the door.

"I'll walk with you" Angel called, hurrying to follow, "and you can tell me your version of how you defeated the Master again, or that time you blew up the Giant Mayor-Snake..." the usually broody, quiet vampire's animated voice continued until Jonathan gave in and recited one of his greatest adventures as the pair walked back to his mansion. They were forced to pause several hundred times for Jonathan to sign autographs and have his picture taken with adoring fans.

Quite a while later, Mr Levinson was relaxing by the fire with a glass of wine, in the main living room of his ridiculously large and luxurious mansion. He was just thinking it was about time he joined his lady friends for the night when the phone started to ring. Who would be calling at this hour and on his exclusive line? There were very few people who had that number or a way of getting it. When he picked up the phone, he was moderately surprised to be greeted by an English voice.

"Jonathan, it's Spike" the vampire sounded agitated and that couldn't be good, "Really need your help with somethin' mate"

"Spike, how's everything?" Jonathan remained cool and calm as ever "How's Buffy doing?"

"She's fine, 'cept she's having a Hate Spike phase right now" he complained, making the man who was listening sigh and settle down into his chair. It seemed this might take a while.

"Tell me your problems, big guy" he said to the vampire, "I'm sure it can't be as bad as you think"

"It can" Spike muttered to himself before explaining all that had happened since he and Buffy had gone away from Sunnydale. He told Jonathan about the Slayer's nightmare and him holding her that night, then Joyce's visit and he and Buffy sharing the bed each night, though nothing had happened between them until her mother had gone home. Then came the awkward part as he told the resident super-man how he'd come so close to getting where he wanted to be with Buffy, only to blurt out the truth, ruining everything and earning himself some filthy looks, some choice words and one rather fierce punch in the face.

"And now it's like we can't even be in the same room together and I can't take much of it, Jonathan" he ended sadly. The brunette felt really bad for the vampire, who despite their differences still mattered. He was the father of the Slayer's child and a much better man since they'd gotten closer. Besides he had that chip in his head now so it wasn't as if he could harm anyone.

"Spike, do you love Buffy?" he asked him.

"'Course I bloody do" came the answer, without a moments hesitation, "and I told her that, I told her that's the reason why I was honest with her but all she see's me as is a monster now" he rambled on as Jonathan struggled to get a word in side-ways!

"How could she possibly see you as such a bad person?" he shook his head, "She wouldn't even allow you to stay in the same house with her if she thought herself to be in danger, most especially when she's carrying a child"

"Well, okay" Spike conceded, "maybe she's doesn't hate me that much but she soddin' well doesn't like me very much and I don't have the first clue what to do about it"

"Spike, buddy, you've been in existence for the past century and more and you still haven't figured out how to handle women?" he rolled his eyes.

"Only ever had two serious ones" he admitted bitterly, "and Dru, well she always just liked to be tied up and tortured when I pissed her off, somethin' tells me that wouldn't work so well with Buffy"

"Ah, yes" despite his wealth of knowledge Jonathan was slightly at a loss as to what to say for the best after that, "All I can say Spike is, if you love her you have to prove it to her. Maybe cook her dinner, buy her flowers, let her know that out of everyone in the world she is the last one you'd ever want to hurt"

"Knew you'd have decent advice, mate" Spike smiled, "Tomorrow night, it's gonna be perfect" he realised, already starting to plan it all "Thanks a lot, I owe you"

"It's no problem" Jonathan smiled too, glad to have been of assistance, "Let me know how it goes"

"Will do" the vampire promised before they both said their goodbyes and hung up.

Jonathan stood up and turned towards the door, glad it was finally time for sleep. It'd been a rough day what with the demon hunting, the magicks he'd performed, the autographs he'd signed, his TV appearance, the list just went on. Plus he had one other problem to deal with, but that would have to wait til tomorrow.

- - - - - - -

"He was an idiot" Adam referred to his vampire minion that had been so easily slain last week, "and I have told you not to speak of him"

"Sorry" the new 'head minion' apologised, "but, oh hey there's something new in town" he enthused, pulling a piece of paper from his back pocket "Seems it's attacking girls, some big hairy thing with a symbol...one of the guys did this for you" he handed the paper to Adam who eyed the drawing on it carefully.

The vampire took a moment to glance at the bank of monitors on the wall, almost every single one displaying pictures or video of Jonathan.

"Oh wow, it's Jonathan" the vampire seemed enamoured, but Adam was unimpressed as he glanced up from the paper in is hand.

"Jonathan" he echoed "Tell me, who is this?"

"You're kidding right?" the vamp laughed, unable to believe there was a person or demon in existence that hadn't heard of this super-man "Jonathan is...Jonathan. Look" he gestured at the screens and the hybrid's face shifted into something resembling a frown.

"These are lies. None of this is real" he shook his head "The world has been changed, and I'm certain it has to do with the creature that bears this mark" he gestured towards the piece of paper, as he stood up "It's intriguing but it's wrong"

"So what?" his vampire minion shrugged "Do we kill this demon, cos I don't think..."

"No" Adam cut him off as he walked through the lair towards the cave mouth "It is of no interest to us. Still, these magicks are unstable, corrosive. They will inevitably lead to chaos, and I am interested in chaos"

- - - - - - -

"We can't go bothering Jonathan at this time of night" Giles reminded Willow who had stopped crying but was still very fragile. She'd found Tara in a real mess, having been attacked by some kind of beast with a mark tattooed on it's head. The freaky thing was that last night another girl had been jumped on by the same thing and badly hurt.

"The guy has to sleep Will" Xander told her, a hand on his friends shoulder, "I know what happened to Tara was rough but you know it'll get fixed first thing in the morning. Jonathan loves us all, he'll figure it out"

"I know" the red-head nodded, "I just, for some reason I wish Buffy were here"

"What on Earth could she do in such a situation?" Giles frowned, "Especially in her current condition. No, I do believe she's much better off staying where she is...Wherever that is"

To Be Continued...

A/N2 : Not sure that I pulled off the humour so well, but I loved the Jonathan ep Superstar and really wanted to incorprorate it into this. Adam was really only mentioned in this chapter so that you remember he's still an issue that needs dealing with. I hope you liked the chapter anyway. More coming soon...


	26. Chapter 26

A/N : Is this a good time to tell you this story is on the home stretch? Yep, we're heading for an ending people, and I know it sucks cos I'm really loving writing this and you all seem to really love reading it but all good things must come to an end and we're just a few chapters away from that end, if everything goes according to plan...Thanx for the latest reviews; kargrif, electricgurl, libraflyter, Spuffyfan4eva, Arisluv, Princess Consuela, theoneandonlygurl, rubi-elektra, Screeching Dragon, MikiBaby, aphelant, pixiecorn, sPIKEanDmE, Lucky-112, Culf, Kari Mouke, spikeswife1, Mullocks, Katie, Moluvsnumber17, Charmed-angel4, sunnyhell, spikespet2002, ProphecyGirl-vv, Freezyboncoolipants, Cady Monroe. Hope you like the new chapter!

(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 26

"What are you doing?" Buffy's voice broke the silence of the room, causing Spike to smack his head on the open cupboard door above him.

"Bugger" he complained as he slammed the door shut and rubbed a hand over the top of his head where it hurt, "What are you doing out of bed?" he asked as he turned around, still scowling from the pain that jarred his head. The surprise had made it hurt more than an expected blow might have.

"I had a nightmare" she admitted, "and then I heard noises out here" she yawned as she ran a hand through her hair, wondering just how much of a mess she must look right now.

Spike was having trouble remembering his own name with her standing not ten feet away, all rumpled and half-dressed. If it wasn't for the fact she was so pregnant and the last time she'd touched him had been to smack him in the face, he'd have said screw the romantic plans, thrown her back in the bedroom and had his wicked way with her several times over. But she wasn't Drusilla, or some skank he'd picked up at a bar. She was Buffy, and he loved her, and she deserved better than that. It was precisely what she was going to get, but not tonight.

"I had to pop out, fetch a few things" he said after a while, "Was just puttin' it away, didn't mean to wake you" he told her.

"I told you, you didn't" she reminded him, "The nightmare woke me"

It was all uncomfortable and weird whenever they tried to have a conversation, and Buffy hated it. It got complicated whenever anything major happened between them, but she liked it when they were friends. They had to have one of the craziest relationships in the universe. A vampire and a Slayer, who'd slept together and made a baby whilst under a spell cast accidentally by her best friend, now living together in a borrowed apartment that only her mother new about, sharing a bed for sleeping only up until seven days ago when he admitted to killing a previous Slayer who was a mother, following which she yelled, he yelled, she hit him and things hadn't been the same since.

A large part of Buffy knew the easiest way to resolve the problem was just to say she was sorry, but it seemed it was almost physically impossible for her to say that one word to Spike. He was supposed to be the evil one, and yet she had hit him and without any provocation really. Sure he'd said he wanted to hurt her if he could, but when she knew he was incapable it was kind of wrong to go throwing her fist in his face.

Since then they hadn't shared a bed, or the couch, they'd barely shared a conversation. She wondered now and then why he bothered to stay there, or why she did. It wasn't as if they didn't have anywhere else to go, but some unknown force seemed to make them want to stay in Santa Monica, and together. Buffy realised he probably stayed for the baby's sake. No matter what did or did not happen between her and Spike, it was still his child she was carrying. It gave her a weird but warm kind of feeling inside just knowing that. Knowing that no matter what, a little part of him would always exist, along with a little part of her.

"...and it's a while til sun-up, you should try to sleep some more" she zoned back into the present and caught the end of Spike's sentence.

"I guess" she shrugged, really not feeling all that sleepy right now. Her rambley thoughts had completely woken her up, and she was getting hungry again. As she walked towards the kitchen, Spike headed for the front door.

"Where are you going now?" she wanted to know.

"Just...out" he told her as he left. Buffy winced as the door shut behind him with a thump

"Great. Out." she rolled her eyes, "Gotta love that place"

- - - - - - -

It had been hell these past few hours for Spike. After speaking to Jonathan and planning this romantic evening for Buffy in his head he was all fired up to do it, but when it came to the reality it was a lot more complex and nerve-racking to get straight.

Last night had almost been his undoing. In her state of half-asleep-ness Buffy seemed to forget to be pissed at him and he was too turned on by her half-dressed and dishevelled appearance to concentrate on anything but how much he wanted her. He'd taken the first opportunity he could get to vacate the premises and had only returned when the sun threatened to dust him should he stay out a moment longer. He spent a few minutes re-organising the 'romantic evening' supplies he'd bought and hidden at the back of one of the kitchen cupboards, then watching some TV until Buffy emerged, thankfully fully clothed, from the bedroom.

She had her breakfast, he had his morning cup of blood and then he took his turn to sleep for a few hours. That killed time til noon when he had a shower, re-dressed, and joined Buffy for lunch. Still she was not suspicious of his behaviour, since they'd been spending less and less time together these past few days anyway. In the afternoons she'd hide herself away in the bedroom, or concentrate on something random on the TV just so she didn't have to talk to him. She'd even been out for a walk a couple of times, which was painful if Spike thought about it too much. Knowing that he couldn't follow her no matter what - it seemed like the most severe punishment to him, though he suspected it didn't even occur to her.

Today it seemed would be one of Buffy's hide-in-the-bedroom afternoons, which suited Spike's plan to no end. It gave him time to cook the simple-as-possible but fancy-looking meal he had planned and set up the room according to suggestions he heard on that TV show with the five gay blokes, that he'd never, ever admit to anyone that he'd watched before!

It seemed everything was going to go according to plan, Spike realised, as he hunted for the candles he'd hidden in the cupboard last night, though given his luck with women, he wasn't holding out much hope.

- - - - - - -

"Guys, okay this is gonna sound weird but do you think this whole monster thing might have something to with Jonathan?" Angel asked the assembled Scoobies as they sat around Giles' apartment discussing the latest Sunnydale crisis. It was early evening, and several hours since the gang had been at the Levinson Mansion, confronting the town's biggest celebrity with the facts about the mysterious demon that attacked Tara. He'd sent them away and told them not to worry, without a syllable of explanation, and no matter how much they wanted to trust him, it seemed too weird to ignore.

"What are you talking about, Deadboy?" Xander asked suspiciously and all other occupants of the room waited for the answer.

"It's just, if he was so dismissive when you talked to him about it..." the vampire tried to explain, "and isn't it just a little suspicious that he's so great at everything"

"C'mon, man" Faith rolled her eyes, "You cannot be sayin' that Jonathan is anything but the ultimate cool!" she argued.

Angel shook his head, knowing it was crazy but also thinking all this was just too weird to be a coincidence. He glanced down at the piece of paper on the table, the one with the symbol on it that Tara had drawn to show the mark on her attackers head. He knew that symbol from somewhere but from where he just couldn't figure out...until now.

"Giles" he said suddenly, "Do you have a Jonathan swimsuit calendar?"

"Of course I don't ha...yes" he decide to be honest when several pairs of eyes all called him a liar with one look. He found the article and handed it to Angel who flicked through the pages til he found the right picture.

"There, look" he pointed and sure enough as the calendar was passed amongst the group they all saw the same symbol tattooed on Jonathan's back that had been on the demon's forehead.

"So Jonathan and the big hairy-scary are connected" Faith looked stunned, "Wow"

"I think maybe we're being played" Angel told her and the rest if the gang, "Like maybe, we were better than we think we are now and maybe Jonathan..."

"Really isn't as cool as he seems?" the Rogue Slayer finished his sentence for him and the vampire nodded.

"I've heard of these spells where reality can be changed, things made to seem what they aren't" he explained, "Maybe that's what happened here?"

It was a crazy idea to think that Jonathan could be anything less than perfect but there were a lot of things that didn't add up and when thought about rationally, Angel's theory could pan out. Whatever else was true, Faith knew deep in her gut that something wasn't right, that she was the one who was supposed to go out there and fix this...but only because Buffy wasn't there to do it instead.

- - - - - - -

Finally the whole thing was set, and Spike took a step back to admire his handiwork. The food was simmering, the table was set, the lights were dimmed, the candles were lit. Okay so it wasn't a classy restaurant and he wasn't Brad Pitt or Jonathan Levinson, but he'd made an effort and he loved Buffy so much. Even if it all went horribly wrong, he had to get points for intent, right?

Taking a pointlessly deep breath he walked over to the bedroom door and tapped on it.

"Buffy, luv" he called "I need to talk to you, could you come out here?"

There was a pause and then he heard the springs of the mattress as she got up from the bed and came over to the door. It opened and she stepped out, following him as he walked towards the kitchen.

"What is it Spike I...oh my God" her slight annoyance at being awoken from a light sleep turned into surprise, her hands going to her face as she took in the sight before her.

In the absence of a dining table, the coffee table had been moved over and propped up higher on something that was currently covered by a long tablecloth so Buffy wasn't totally sure what it was. Candles were set in the centre and a vase of red roses was to one side. The crockery and silverware were already laid out, and something in the kitchen smelt pretty good.

"I cooked dinner" Spike said pointlessly when Buffy stayed silent too long.

"For me?" she said more quietly than she meant to. She couldn't believe he'd go to all this trouble for her sake.

"No, for the bloody Pope!" Spike rolled his eyes as he flicked on the radio and came back from the kitchen area to stand by her, "Yes, of course for you, you daft woman"

Buffy felt ridiculous for having tears in her eyes as he led her over to the table and pulled out a chair for her to sit down. It was getting more awkward now with her stomach getting ever bigger but her bump only made her all the more beautiful to Spike.

He himself was looking smarter than usual, Buffy noticed. Though he still wore his black jeans, she was fairly sure he'd ironed them or something because they looked much neater and he wore a his red shirt buttoned-up not quite to the top. He even had proper shoes on and she couldn't help but smile at that, it truly was a big effort he had put in.

"I can't have that" she suddenly noticed he was pouring her a glass of wine but he didn't stop when she told him too.

"S'not alcohol" he promised, showing her the bottle "Fake stuff. Tastes like wine but won't harm the Nibblet" he smiled, "or break the law since I just remembered you're under-age" he frowned a little as he flew into the kitchen, returning two minutes later with plates of delicious looking food.

"Thankyou for reminding me I'm still a kid" Buffy sighed as he finally sat down opposite her.

"I didn't..." he almost started an argument about it when he realised she was smiling. That meant she was only teasing him, which would have been annoying usually, but it had been too long since they'd been comfortable enough to make jokes with each other. He smiled back before they both concentrated on their food, as soft music played in the background

It was a minute or two later when Spike realised Buffy was okay with the cutting of the food and with pushing it around the plate, but she wasn't actually putting anything in her mouth.

"You don't like it?" Spike checked, and when she gave him an apologetic look he slammed down his cutlery and sat back in his chair "I screwed up again, didn't I?"

"No, you didn't" Buffy shook her head as she put her knife and fork down too. She really didn't want him to feel bad after all the effort he'd made to put things right between them, something they both should have done days ago "Spike, it's not your fault" she promised him, managing to make him look at her "the baby has been kicking me in the gut all afternoon" she explained "I just can't stand the thought of putting food into my body right now"

"I wanted tonight to be special" Spike complained. He didn't blame her, there was no way he could, but whilst it was comfort to know he hadn't messed up, it was so damn aggravating that the night hadn't gone as planned.

"Why tonight in particular?" Buffy looked puzzled as she tried to figure out if the day had any significance at all.

"S'not the particular night so much" Spike shrugged, pulling himself up straight in the chair again, he wanted her to know how sincere he was "I just wanted there to be _a_ night, one where you felt special, and where you saw that...that there's more to me than just the demon" he explained, "I hate that we fought, I hate that I made you almost hate me...I can't stand being around you all the time knowing things aren't right between us" he said, looking right into her eyes, "I know I sound like a bloody ponce right now but you drive me crazy, and I know it has to be because...I love you, Buffy"

For some reason, hearing him say those words always gave Buffy the strangest feeling inside. It wasn't quite the warm fuzzy feeling she got when she imagined her and the baby and Spike as a little family in the future, or the heat of passion she felt when she and Spike kissed before. It was this somewhere-in-the-middle type of a feeling, and it was nice but terrifying in it's own way.

"I...I know" she said, hating the glimmer of disappointed behind his blue eyes when she didn't say the same three words back to him "and I'm sorry Spike" she told him, knowing that she was apologising mostly for not being able to tell him what he wanted to hear "I'm sorry if I treated you badly these past few days and I know I really shouldn't have hit you, it wasn't fair" there she'd finally said it, and she felt so much better for it, or at least she would when he answered her.

"No, it bloody wasn't fair" he agreed "I just wanted to be honest with you. Should've stuck with being a lying git" he realised, looking away. It was a ridiculous idea to think he could be a good person just because he was in love with one.

"No, you shouldn't" Buffy responsed quickly, her hand shooting out of it's own accord to cover his as it rested on the table "I don't want you to think that" she shook her head as his eyes glanced back up to meet hers "We both handled it badly. I guess the whole growing up and being responsible thing is harder than I thought" she half-smiled as his hand turned over and took hold of hers.

"You'd think at my age I'd be grown up enough" he managed a smile too, feeling that even if the romantic side of the evening had gone to hell, at the very least it seemed they could be friends again.

"Do you have to keep reminding me that you're old enough to be my great, great, a few hundred more greats, grandfather?" the playful glint in her eyes was a welcome sight to Spike who squeezed her hand.

"Cheeky cow, I'm not that old" he protested, though he was trying not to laugh as much as she was "'Sides Peaches is older" he regretted it as soon as the words left his mouth, knowing damn well that the last person he should mention to Buffy was Angel.

"Don't always bring him into it" she said, letting go of his hand too suddenly, her smile waining.

"Don't mention age, don't mention my grand-sire...Am I allowed to say anything?" he asked, hoping he hadn't ruined the moment. It seemed he hadn't when Buffy smiled once again.

"Yes" she nodded, picking up her glass of mock-wine and getting out of her seat "How about saying 'Buffy, go relax, I'll do the dishes'" she smirked in a fashion akin to Spike's own style and he tried and failed to look shocked as he too got to his feet.

"I cooked the bloody meal, you barely ate it, and now I have to do the soddin' washing up?" he said with fake astonishment. Buffy sipped at her drink, looking at him over the rim of the glass

"Well.." she considered "Yes actually, you do" she giggled, feeling so much more comfortable right now than she had in days. To think all it needed was for the two of them to be a little less stubborn.

"You're on very thin ice, Slayer" he playfully warned her as she headed for the couch.

"But you love me anyway" she smiled as she placed her glass on the coffee table and turned back to face him. She hadn't realised he'd come up behind her, worried she'd have trouble reaching down so far to put down her drink. When she turned back there was just a couple of inches between them and his voice was just a whisper when he answered her.

"I do" he said too honestly and neither could force back the urge as there lips got closer and they shared one brief but sweet kiss.

"Spike" he felt her say his name rather than heard it "Every time we get close something gets ruined" she told him, "and I really can't take the stress right now" she admitted sadly. She hated having to step away when a part of her really wanted him to kiss her again, but what she'd said was true, it could never work.

"So nothing's change?" he checked "You're still gonna flinch every time I get within three feet of you" he said with pure frustration.

"Of course not!" came Buffy's immediate response "I wasn't doing that before, was I?"

The look he gave her was answer enough. She knew as well as he did that she had been avoiding coming anywhere near him and physically twitched everytime they touched until tonight.

"Okay, okay" she held up her hands in mock surrender "The whole Slayer killing deal just weirded me out" she admitted, eyes flitting between his face and the carpet "I guess I just forgot that you weren't always like this...but I know you'd never hurt me, even if you didn't have your chip" she said with a strange amount of confidence. Spike considered her words.

"How do you know?" he asked, knowing the likelihood of getting the answer he wanted was slim. He really wanted to hear 'Because I love you' or similar, but he wasn't stupid enough to think it would really happen.

"Does there have to be a reason why?" she said awkwardly, knowing he wanted to hear something else "Isn't the important thing that I know, and that I believe it"

There was a pause and then he shrugged his shoulders.

"S'pose" she heard him mumble as he turned back towards the table, planning to clear the dishes away. He stopped suddenly when Buffy turned up the radio.

'...so this was requested by the man himself, Jonathan Levinson. It's one of his own tracks from his new album, and it's going out to two good friends of his. Buffy and Spike, this one is for you'

Buffy opened her mouth to speak but stopped again when she heard the song that Jonathan was singing - Love Me Tender.

The Slayer shot Spike a questioning look and he appeared like such a shy little boy when he spoke, it was kinda cute.

"I, er, I might have called him for some advice, y'know" he explained "not that I couldn't have figured it out on my own" he was quick to add and Buffy stifled a giggle.

"It's okay" she told him "it's...sweet" she decided was the best word, though even that was risky since Spike had a distinct aversion to anyone denting his Big Bad image in any way.

"Sort of wasted now" he sighed, turning back to the table for the second time, but still he never got around to clearing it.

"Not entirely" Buffy's voice was soft but still loud enough to be heard as her hand reached out to his arm "Dance with me?" she asked as he turned back at the feel of her touch. He didn't have an answer as she stepped closer and he automatically put his arms around her. She stood mostly sideways so her bump didn't get in the way of her being close to him, as she leant her head on his chest and they gently swayed to the music.

Spike felt like he'd been torn in half, one part of him sent to heaven and the other to hell. Right now he was existing purely for moments like this, times when he could be this close to Buffy. Him holding her and her holding him, her even accepting that he loved her and that it was real. At the same time she had to know she was killing him, allowing him this much but holding back on the rest.

Of course Buffy knew how much he was hurting, she was hurting herself too, but surely it was better to just leave her and Spike's relationship at friends status. Things had gone so horribly wrong with the last three guys she'd allowed herself to get close too.

Angel had turned evil and ultimately left her, Parker had been a huge mistake, and Riley, well that was doomed from the start. Even her and Spike, what a stellar history they had romantically! They were in love under a spell, made a baby out of two rounds of bouncy fun, kissed a couple of times since then only to be interrupted or have her go hormonal, and that one time when they'd finally got really close, he'd blurted out the truths of his murderous history, blowing the whole thing to hell - again!

Buffy was just waiting for the next bad thing to happen when Spikes lips touched hers a few minutes ago, and she couldn't take any risks right now, not with the baby and everything. If anything real did come out of her relationship with Spike it couldn't happen now, maybe one day but not yet.

So here they were and here they would stay, friends in essence but just a little bit more because they couldn't help themselves. Anything romantic seemed to be strictly forbidden, but they could deal with that for now, right?

To Be Continued...

A/N2 : That chapter ended up much longer than planned and a little different. Hope you're not all mad at me for the almost-but-not-quite Spuffyness again! I swear, by the end it'll all get fixed. In the meantime, please review and don't throw things at me! ;-)


	27. Chapter 27

A/N : Y'know I didn't realise quite how long this chapter was til I finished it AND I managed another chapter of Who's That Guy? too AND I posted a One-shot AU Season 6 piece yetserday! I've been busy like a bee - bee-like actually! ;-) It's all those wonderful reviews inspiring me to be a speedy little writer! Thanx to; libraflyter, kori hime, kargrif, La Diosa, Slayergirl1212, BiWiccamPrincess, Lady Savage, Princess Consuela, Screeching Dragon, pixiecorn, blackcherrymeg, Kari Mouke, SSWBA, spikeswife1, vixen21, naiya-isis, Amandamanda3, Spuffyfan4eva, lindsay, rubi-elektra, Charmed-angel4, MikiBaby, Moluvsnumber17, velja, Cady Monroe, theoneandonlygurl, and also Spikes Bint who is working her way through from the beginning and reviewing at intervals! You guys are all so patient and you say such nice things, I feel so loved! ;-) Here's the new chapter...

(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 27

The past two weeks had been pretty crazy and Buffy was glad everything was finally settling down. After spending the evening reconciling her differences with Spike, she'd woken up the next morning to find the world was a whole different place. For a while she'd wondered if she'd dreamt Jonathan's time as a superstar, but Spike assured her she hadn't, and when they called the gang in Sunnydale the whole situation had been explained to them - it was all a spell.

"Do a lot of bloody damage these spells" Spike had cursed, though he had to thank the little geek to certain degree. His advice had helped Spike and Buffy to become friends again, even if the vamp would never admit he needed any help in fixing things, "These pratts shouldn't be allowed to mess with mojo that they can't control" he had complained anyway, but Buffy had just smiled.

"I dunno, sometimes even when spells go wrong, good things come out of it" she'd told him, the hand on her stomach giving away her meaning.

It was moments like that, when both Spike and Buffy hurt the most. Both of them wanted the other, that much was clear, and he definitely loved her. She liked him, as a friend at minimum, but she'd never admitted to anything more than that and the fact she found him physically attractive. Words of love had never passed her lips and Spike was getting to the point where he was almost certain they never would, but a tiny corner of his heart, the part that remained of that ponce William that he used to be, that part would never give up hope of the happy-ever-after ending he so craved. For now he could deal with the set-up they had. During the day it worked just fine and he could almost pretend they were a real little family, it was only his sleeping on the sofa at night they spoilt the effect and the fact he couldn't be closer to her in the ways he really wanted to.

"Oh, look at this" Buffy pointed to something in a baby magazine she'd bought and Spike moved closer to her on the couch to see.

"Very nice, pet" he smiled and nodded like always, though he really could not see the difference between this fuzzy pink baby outfit and the last one, "Though if it's a boy it's gonna look like a bloody poofter kid"

"Well, obviously we'd get a blue one for a boy" she rolled her eyes at him, "Has that chip fried your brain completely?" she joked.

"I'm not even gonna dignify that with an answer" he told her with a look as he got up from the sofa and headed for the kitchen, "You want anything to eat?" he asked her as he went. It was starting to get dark out and he fancied some blood before he popped to the shops. He figured Buffy would be hungry again by now too.

"Right now I think I'm in a sandwich kind of a mood" she considered, "Maybe tuna-fish...oh, and some of that pancake syrup please"

Spike made a face but made no comment about her dodgy eating habits of late. He knew it was all something complicated to do with the baby, cravings were just a normal part of pregnancy, but the vampire had a new respect for any ordinary human male who could stand to prepare the foods their women asked for. He was lucky in that he didn't have to breathe around any concoctions that smelt bad, and he was hardly ever made queasy by the thought or sight of the dishes. He'd spent the past century and more around mutilated corpses and the nastiest looking demons you could imagine. A tuna and golden syrup sandwich was nothing to him, and at least Buffy had never craved blood after that one incident which he'd sooner forget.

"One sandwich" he said, handing her the plate. She thanked him, before grinning as she tucked into her food with vigour.

Spike warmed up some blood in his favourite mug and came to sit with her again.

"You think everything's okay in Sunnydale?" Buffy asked him as he did so.

"Why'd you suddenly ask that, pet?" he frowned, hoping she hadn't overheard any of his 'secret' conversations with Giles. The Watcher wouldn't tell him much just that a Big Bad got loose from the Initiative and they were dealing, but they both knew if Buffy found out she'd want to go back and save the day and neither were willing to let that happen.

"I was just thinking" the Slayer sighed, picking up the remaining crumbs off her plate, not wanting to waste any, "I mean, it's May now, and something always goes wrong in a major apocalypsey way in May. I mean, the Master killed me, I had to kill Angel, the Mayor attacked us, I guess I'm just wondering what awful thing is happening now and how will the gang deal if I'm not there"

"Contrary to popular theory, luv, you're not the centre of the universe" Spike smirked, "Maybe the centre of mine" he admitted quietly, knowing he shouldn't bring all that stuff up again but having trouble stopping himself, "but the Scoobies, they're not completely stupid, well, maybe Xander, but they can deal. If they couldn't they'd call"

"I guess you're right" she admitted, putting her now empty plate down on the table, "I hate that" she joked.

"So you tell me, and very often at that" Spike smiled, finishing up his blood and putting the mug down beside her plate.

"You going out tonight?" she asked, as he got up and walked to the window, peaking through the blinds to see how far the sun had gone down.

"We need a few bits from the store" he told her, "Why'd you ask?"

"No reason" she shrugged, and was glad when he believed her lie. In truth she'd found she liked spending evenings with Spike, a lot in fact, and when he went out he was often gone for several hours though she had no idea what took him so long. Sometimes she felt like asking but then she reasoned it was none of her business and she didn't want to seem too interested, besides they were trying to keep their relationship platonic...trying being the operative word.

When Spike stayed in they'd watch TV for hours. Sometimes it'd be one of his shows like Passions or Dawson's Creek that he'd have to explain to her, and usually they'd sit close with his arm around her as he explained who the characters were and all their complex relationships. Other times it'd be stuff she liked to watch and he'd spend his time making fun of it til she yelled at him to shut up, but it was still fun, just to share time with someone, with each other specifically.

Tonight if Spike was going out, Buffy would probably head off to bed ridiculously early, because at least when she was sleeping she wouldn't feel so alone. She had no idea that he went out like this because being so close to her, knowing he'd never be closer, was slowly killing him.

- - - - - - -

The past two weeks had been pretty crazy and Faith knew it was not likely to settle down just yet. The whole Jonathan thing had really pissed her off, making her think some stupid geek was a god amongst men, still no real harm had been done, much to her disappointment. Faith had so wanted to beat the little idiot into submission, but he was already so pathetically sorry and, as Angel reminded her, she was trying to atone for past crimes, she didn't need to add anymore to the list.

Faith had to admit she was grateful for one thing about Wonder-Jonathan's trip. During his time as the resident Superman he'd come to some useful conclusions about Adam, the most important part of which was that Adam's power came from a resevoir of uranium that was located in the centre of his body. This meant he could technically live forever and that simply beating on the hybrid, removing a limb, or chopping off his head wasn't going to cut it. He needed completely obliterating or they had to find away to get to his innards without him noticing - yeah, because that wasn't impossible at all!

Angel had headed back to LA a week ago. Cordelia had called with a crisis in the city that she and Wes just couldn't handle without the vamp, and off he'd run like the big hero type that he was, and though she'd never admit it Faith was sort of missing having him around.

The Scoobies really did not like her, and only put up with her presence because she was going to help beat Sunnydale's latest Big Bad. She couldn't really blame Willow after her attempts to kill her during the whole fiasco with the Mayor, or Xander since she was his first ride and she wouldn't let him forget it, just because it made him squirm in front of that Anya, who therefore also didn't like Faith. The new girl, Tara, she seemed decent enough but she was Willow's girl so by association she saw Faith as an enemy. That just left Giles, and he was far from the second Slayer's biggest fan either.

She'd been in favour when she defeated the beast that broke Jonathan's spell, and she'd got bonus points for rescuing Xander and Anya from a possessed house that was running all it's scariness off of the power of their sex have-age! But when it came to Adam, there was very little anyone could do and it was putting them all into a bad mood.

The Initiative records were all very helpful, and Jonathan had a couple of break-throughs two weeks ago when he was all-powerful, but since then the Scoobies had been struggling to know what to do next. That's what this latest meeting was about.

"I'm been investigating what Faith told us about the decrease in other vampire and demonn activity that is not linked to Adam" Giles told the assembled Scoobies and the Slayer, "and I have come to the conclusion that it may be to do with him after all"

"Okay, rewind there for a sec" Xander frowned, "The stuff that isn't connected to Adam is weird because it is actually connected to him?" he checked he'd heard that part correctly, since it seemed to make the kind of sense that's not.

"That's more or less it, yes" the Watcher nodded, "I've managed to translate some of the more complicated passages that were stored on Maggie Walsh's computer" he told them, "Her ultimate aim seemed to be to create a whole army of creatures just like Adam. If this were the case there would be facilities in the Initiative for such a plan to be carried out"

"What does that have to do with less vamps and stuff around?" Willow asked with confusion evident on her face, "Are the other demons afraid of what Adam's trying to do?"

"Quite the opposite actually" Giles shook his head, "Adam is like a God amongst demon society, and if he is talking of carrying out his creators plans of making a complicated race of his kind, I imagine the other demons would learn of this and clearly want to be one of these higher beings"

"So they're lettin' these commando guys catch 'em and lock 'em up in the place when Adam will make his plan happen, right?" Faith took a shot and hoped she'd got it right. She was sort of pleased when Giles smiled and told her she was correct.

"There is abundance of both humans and demons now in the Initiative" the Watcher continued to explain, "I have a theory that Adam plans to start a war down there. There would be so many casualties, both of the human race and many demon breeds, forming his new army of hybrids would be a simple task"

"Th-that's horrible" Tara look scared and disgusted at the thought of a whole army of creatures like Adam. The rest of the gang sympathised, since they all felt much the same, except Anya who had seen so much carnage and so many kind of demons, even been one herself for a thousand years, that these kind of topics had little effect on her constitution.

"So the big question now is how do we stop Frankenstein the Second from creating mayhem in the GI Joe camp?" Faith wanted to know. Of course when they hit that point, no-one had an answer. It was going to be another long night.

- - - - - - -

"What are you still doing up?" Spike frowned as he came in the front door at almost midnight and found his heavily pregnant house mate still lying across the couch where he'd left her.

"Just thinking" she shrugged, not really even paying attention to the fact he was there. Spike rolled his eyes as he dumped the groceries he'd bought on the counter and took off his coat.

Since he and Buffy had taken up temporary residence in this Santa Monica apartment, the Slayer had partaken of several bouts of 'thinking' and none of them ever led to good things. Usually her thinking was a disguise for feeling sorry for herself because she considered her pregnant self to be fat, ugly, and unattractive, which he always assured her she wasn't. The other option was thinking that led to panic, all what-if's about the pregnancy and the labour or bad things that could happen once the baby was born. Either way it meant calming her down and reassuring her for a few hours before either of them would get any sleep.

"Come on then" he said, moving her feet to make room himself on the couch, holding her ankles on his lap since there was nowhere else for them to go, "what have you been thinking about that's got you all sleepless?" he wanted to know. She looked at him seriously when she answered.

"Our baby doesn't have a name"

Spike looked thoughtful and then he frowned.

"Luv, our baby isn't born yet" he pointed out, "Why does she need a name right now? At midnight" he said pointedly, but Buffy didn't notice the time reference so much, she'd stopped listening before then.

"She?" she repeated and he looked at her strangely asking what she meant, "You said she. _She_ isn't born yet. How do you know the baby is a girl?" the Slayer wanted to know.

"I don't know" Spike shrugged, starting to wonder himself why he'd said it. Maybe because whenever he dreamt of a perfect future it was always him, Buffy, and a daughter, but he didn't know why it was that way, "Just got this feeling we're havin' a girl" he told her.

"Well, she'll need a name if she is a girl, or if he's a boy" she considered, "and it got me thinking is all"

"You don't wanna name her Buffy?" he asked, trying to stifle a smirk. He knew she'd defend her name no matter what, it was her mother's choice after all, but she'd never subject her own child to such a title.

"A world of no" came her response, "I think one of me is enough...and that means if it's a boy we don't call him Spike" she added quickly, just in case he was getting ideas.

"Given how I came by this little nick-name of mine, pet, I promise you the thought never entered my head" he told her honestly, making for an awkward pause in the conversation as they were both forced to remember the violence of his past.

"I could maybe deal with having a son called William though" Buffy said after a while, "I mean, that is your real name, right? William..." she stopped when she realised she didn't know the rest, "That's so weird" she almost laughed as she said it and Spike looked at her with confusion.

"What's that then?" he wondered.

"All this time I've known you" Buffy smiled still, "and we've fought and been friends and...everything" she said awkwardly, "and I don't even know your last name"

Spike knew she was correct. He really didn't use his last name for any purpose, he didn't need to. Vampires rarely used their real names. Sure, he'd been William the Bloody, but Spike soon caught on and his old title was lost in time. Drusilla wasn't her human name, and of course Angel was not his, Spike suspected not even Darla was her true name. He was surprised that after a century of no use he could still remember his old last name!

"Vamps don't have last names" he told the Slayer, really not wanting to get into this with her. His time as a human he would mostly like to forget, he certainly didn't want Buffy to know what a ponce he used to be.

"Everybody has a last name" Buffy rolled her eyes, "Just cos you don't use it doesn't mean you don't have one"

He sighed as he saw the determined look on her face. She was not going to let this one go and if either of them were going to sleep at all he'd have to answer her.

"Back in my human days" he gave in and told her, "I was William Blackwell"

"Blackwell" Buffy repeated it in her own voice, "William Summers-Blackwell, wow our son is gonna sound really stuck up" she laughed.

Spike was more than a little surprised to notice he got two parts in the title, but it was pleasant enough to hear his old name beside Buffy's own.

"And if we have a girl?" he asked so softly he wondered if it was really him that spoke, but he couldn't help but feel moved by her wanting to include him in this.

"I dunno, something different" Buffy considered, "How about Serenity?" she suggested, "Like the ship in that weird space-cowboy show. That's pretty"

Spike's eyes looked like they would pop out of his head.

"No kid of mine is gonna be named after a soddin' space-ship in a TV show that some bloke with a daft imagination wrote!" he protested and Buffy burst into fits of giggles. Truth was she did think Serenity might make a pretty name, but she'd never seriously consider calling a child of hers that, she just knew Spike would go crazy if she suggested it.

"Relax Spike, it was a joke" she told him between fits of laughter, before the giggles subsided into a large yawn.

"Well, I think that's enough jokes for one night" the vampire told her, "Even super-Slayers need some shut eye of a night, especially the ones carrying kids around all day" he told her, expecting her to take the hint and move.

"But I'm all comfy here" she told him, pouting like a child. God he wished she'd stop being so cute, it was bad enough trying not to grab her and snog her face off half the time anyway without her being all adorable like that.

"You'll be more comfy in bed" he pointed out, moving her legs a little so he could vacate the couch, "Come on now Slayer, off you go" he urged her when she didn't move a muscle.

"You can't make me" she said, still in her sulky child's voice, forcing her eyes shut as if she were asleep. Spike wondered what to do next, then he had an idea. He crouched down to her level and leaned in close to her ear, her heart-rate speeding up audibly because she could feel him getting closer..

"Don't bet on it" he whispered as he slipped one arm round her back ad the other under her legs. He stood up swiftly, sweeping off the sofa in one move but careful not to drop her. Instinctively she wrapped her arms round his neck and leaned her head on his shoulder as he carried her to the bedroom and laid her down on the bed. He pulled the covers up around her and the Slayer sighed contentedly as she snuggled down beneath them.

"You wanna stay?" she asked as he went for the door, and he glanced back with a strange look on his face. It was only then she realised how much it would hurt him, to be so close to her and yet be denied what he really wanted. Deep down she really wanted to be so close to Spike, and yet it was over-ridden by her common sense and practicality telling her it would never ever work, it hadn't before after all.

"I'm sorry" she shook her head, "We already deja'd this vu and it doesn't end well, right?"

"Right" Spike nodded, smiling just slightly at her special way of phrasing it all, "Goodnight, pet" he said as he closed the door.

"Goodnight" she replied only when he was gone, "William Blackwell"

To Be Continued...

A/N2 : We all remember that reviews are of the good, right? ;-) Oh and for those who were kinda sad to hear this fic has to end soon, there may be a short sequel to follow...


	28. Chapter 28

A/N : Thanx to; Onion Petal, kori hime, Slayergirl1212, Spuffyfan4eva, spikeswife1, Freezyboncoolipants, La Diosa, theoneandonlygurl, Screeching Dragon, Steph, wicked-angel3, kargrif, B/S Rox, Lady Savage, Cady Monroe, Shania Maxwell, pixiecorn, Arisluv, libraflyter, Bridge, ProphecyGirl-vv, Brittany, Lucky-112, Maria, rubi-elektra, MaidenRo, MikiBaby, Moluvsnumber17, Spikes Bint, for all the awesome reviews. I love all the ideas you have, I hope my own do not disappoint. Yes, the likelihood is there will be a sequel, partially because I'm having good ideas for a second fic and also because I think you fans deserve it. For now though, here's the new chapter of this...  
_(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)_

Chapter 28

"We have just two days before Adam's plan takes effect and we still have no idea how to defeat him" Giles sighed, cleaning his glasses for the umpteenth time.

"Don't sweat it, man" Faith told him, absently flicking the pages of a book she really didn't understand, "You guys always deliver in the end, we can handle, right?"

"Of course we can" Willow surprised herself by agreeing with the brunette, but she knew they would figure this out eventually, they just had to.

Anya and Tara had long since gone home to rest, but the core Scoobies and the Rogue Slayer worked through the night and day, knowing they could not let the Initiative's hybrid beast wreak the havoc he intended. It was bad enough that the soldiers of the government-run organisation would mostly perish, or be re-built as semi monsters, but it was worse when one imagined the terror and destruction a whole army of Adam-like creatures could inflict upon the town, the country, or even the world.

"This is ridiculous" Giles suddenly slammed shut the book he was reading, "There is no end to the resources we have, and yet we still have no clue how to defeat Adam with them!" he complained, removing his glasses and polishing the lenses furiously yet again.

"It's going to have to be magic, I guess" Willow said nervously, "I mean, if his power core is so far inside him, there's no way to get it out or destroy it without a spell, right?" she tried, "Maybe there's a power-core extracting spell somewhere?"

The gang gave the witch looks of disbelief and she sighed, admitting she was being stupid but really not knowing what else to suggest.

"Perhaps a paralysing spell" Giles said suddenly a thought springing to mind as he re-opened the book he'd previously been reading and found the correct page, "Oh, the problem is that I can't perform the incantation for this" he admitted with annoyance. He passed the book over to Willow and Xander and the boy frowned.

"What is this language?" he asked, looking over at the unfamiliar characters.

"Sumerian, I think" his friend told him, looking to Giles who nodded she was correct. "That's not the problem though" he told them "Only an experienced witch can incant it, and you'd have to be within striking distance of this object"

"So no problem" Faith finally spoke up after a long bout of uncharacteristic silence "All we need is a combo Slayer - my strength, Giles' multi-lingual know how, and Willow's witchy power" she joked.

Giles looked at her strangely and she rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, I know" she sighed "don't tell me, jokes not wanted right now, huh?"

"No, that's not what I was going to say at all" he shook his head, "Faith, I do believe you may have just had a splendid idea"

An hour later...

"Even if we could pull this off, we still have to get into the Initiative?" Willow pointed out, when Giles had finished explaining his plan "I mean, they have security and stuff right?"

"I don't think we'll be getting in the conventional way" the Watcher shook his head, "but at least we know the location of an entrance from when Buffy visited"

"Seems a little breaking and entering is called for" Faith smiled, "and that I can definitely help you with"

- - - - - - -

Buffy was half asleep in the bedroom when the sound of music hit her. It wasn't very loud but enough that she could make out it was something in the realms of rock. She smiled as she pulled herself up to sitting position, preparing to get off the bed. At the equivalent of eight and a half months pregnant now, a feat she'd managed in five and a bit, it was far less easy to get up and down from chairs or the bed. Still, it'd all be over soon, and that worried Buffy more than she would've liked.

Being pregnant had it's upsides, Spike was so attentive and helpful and she had an excuse to let him be closer to her, which she was finding she more than just liked. Once the baby came they'd have to go back to Sunnydale, they couldn't hide out forever, and things would be different then.

With a sigh the Slayer pulled herself to her feet and headed for the door, the pounding rhythm of Queen's Another One Bites The Dust getting a little louder as she entered the living room. Kinda ironic for a vampire to like that particular song, she thought.

Spike was in the kitchen with his back to her, seemingly preparing lunch and bobbing along to the music at the same time, occasionally stopping to play air guitar. Buffy stood there for a couple of minutes just watching him and trying not to laugh. The supposed Big Bad of Sunnydale had changed so much over the last few months, and it really had been months that she and Spike had been in Santa Monica. Truth was in a lot of ways it didn't seem half that long, and Buffy found she wished they had more time together like this, but when her pregnancy was finally over in less than two weeks time she would have no real excuse to stay away from the Hellmouth.

As the song on the radio came to a huge crescendo of an end, Buffy could no longer keep quiet and started to applaud the vampire's performance. Spike turned round so suddenly he almost knocked himself over. He'd really had no idea she was standing there, it was hard to tell when they lived in such close quarters anyway. To be able to tell whether she was in the bedroom, the bathroom, or the living room by vamp sense alone was impossible.

As was Spike's way, he attempted to cover his embarrassment with bravado and petty insults.

"Enjoy the show did we, luv?" he asked with a smirk, as she walked over to him "I mean, if you're such a fan of watching blokes shake their asses there are clubs you can go to y'know"

"Eew, Spike" the Slayer swatted him across the arm as she reached his side, "Do you have to make everything sound so gross" she complained, "and what was that music, if you can even call it that"

"That, little girl, was a classic" he told her pointing a finger at her sternly, "You want to talk about rubbish music you look in todays charts, all that so-called bloody pop music, it's a load of kids making a lot of noise"

"Y'know most of the time" Buffy told him, stealing a piece of the tomato he was slicing, "I forget that you're not just one of us ordinary people, and then you say this kind of stuff and I remember you're majorly old"

"Cheeky cow" he shot back, though he smiled when he said it, flicking her across the backside with the tea towel as he walked past to the stereo and turned the dials "This more to your taste then, perhaps?" he asked her, referring to the melody flowing from the speakers. Buffy knew it was familiar and a song she liked but for the life of her she couldn't remember what it was.

"Yeah" she nodded, "I like this better" she absently swayed to the music and Spike walked back over to her and reached for her hand, lifting her arm over her head and turning her around. She giggled as she came to face him again and he awkwardly got them into the correct position to waltz her into the living room. It was times like this when she wondered why she couldn't just admit how she really felt about him, and also how they could be the same people that wanted each other dead just a few months ago.

- - - - - - -

"This is it" Giles told Faith, as they plus Willow and Xander arrived in the room in Lowell House. Before them was a glass door to what seemed to be a closet but was in fact the entrance to the elevator shaft leading down to the Initiative.

The Slayer nodded once and signalled for the gang to get back as she delivered a spinning kick to the glass.

"Great, seven years of bad luck" Xander mumbled as they started to rig up the ropes and pulleys to get themselves down to Commando Central below.

"S'not like I have the best luck right now anyway" the Slayer told him as she clipped the line to the harness she wore and prepared to go over the edge of the drop and climb down the elevator shaft.

Soon they were all abseiling down the wall together and Xander looked across at Willow.

"You okay, Will?" he checked and she smiled nervously.

"Sure, no problem" she lied, "I mean, hey, why did I bother with stairs all this time" she laughed slightly, before making the mistake of glancing down and swallowing hard.

"Kinda scary, huh?" he agreed, not daring to look in a southern direction.

"Not as bad as it's gonna be when we get down there" Willow shook her head, "I know it's awful" she whispered, "and I know Faith has been helping and doing good stuff but...I just keep wishing Buffy was here"

"I know" her friend nodded as they came to the bottom of the shaft and joined Faith in unhooking their ropes, Giles was still just a few feet up, "but y'know if she was here, I don't think the whole abseily, demon-fighty adventure would be too easy for her, what with the whole pregnant thing and all"

"I hear from Giles us Slayers pop the kids out faster than the average" Faith commented, "I guess it can't be long now right? Then she can come home, play Head Slayer again?"

Xander and Willow shared a look and were both glad that Giles arrival at ground level prevented them from having to answer. When Buffy came back they wouldn't have much need for the extra Slayer, and then where would she go? As crazy as it was, as much as they used to hate her and rightly so, it seemed so cruel to tell her to get lost after all that had happened.

"Now" Giles called their attention to him, "If those plans we found are correct, it is likely that Adam is somewhere in or around Room 314" he reminded them, "Once we're there it's a case of doing the spell and hoping all goes to plan"

"What are we waiting for?" Faith shrugged, picking up the crowbar and straining until the doors opened. Thankfully no-one had realised they were breaking and entering but then that wasn't much of a surprise when they all climbed out of the elevator into the Initiative building.

"What's going on?" Xander wanted to know as red lights flashed in the dark.

"Some sort of emergency, an alert" Giles assumed as Willow ran for the nearest computer and checked the screens.

"It must be Adam" she called to the gang who rushed over to see, "All the locks of the containment cells have been disengaged...he's started his war Giles" she said, more than a little panicked.

"And we're gonna finish it" Faith said confidently as she made for the door, "Let's go!"

Demons and soldiers fought at every turn and the gang were forced to fend off various attacks on their journey through the winding corridors towards Professor Walsh's old secret lab. Once there it wasn't hard to notice the door that led into Adam's own hide-away.

"Once I'm in, barricade the door behind me" Faith told the gang, reaching to open the door, "This place okay to be Mojo Central?" she checked before she went it.

"As long as we don't get blowed up or nothin'" Willow nodded, a nervous smile stuck to her face.

"How long before the ritual kicks in?" Faith needed to know as Giles began unpacking herbs, candles and cards, whilst Xander and Willow moved a heavy shelving unit in front of the entrance they'd come in through.

"Five minutes, give or take" the Watcher called over the noise beyond the door and the Slayer nodded as she opened up the door.

"Looks like this is it!"

As Faith disappeared into the room, Xander and Willow pushed the door closed and moved the other shelving unit in front of it.

"You think she'll be okay in there alone?" Xander asked, surprising himself by being a little worried about the Rogue Slayer.

"She won't be alone" Giles pointed out as he gestured for the pair to come and sit on the ground with him, around the ingredients and candles he'd set up. He handed the spell book to Willow and lit the candles as they all sat there cross legged preparing themselves for what was about to happen.

"You guys ready?" the witch checked and when she received twin nods she began to chant "The power of the Slayer and all who yield it. Last to ancient first, we invoke thee. Grant us thy domain and primal strength. Accept us in the power we possess. Make us mind and heart and spirit joined. Let the hand encompass us. Do thy will"

Beyond the door Faith advanced on Adam who currently had his back to her, still he knew she was there.

"I was sure you would come" he grinned in a frightening manner as he turned around.

"Then you're not disappointed" the Slayer said nonchalantly, taking up a battle stance, "Come on, guys" she whispered to herself as it looked as though Adam was about to attack.

The gang had almost completed their spell and Willow held four cards in her hands.

"Spiritus...Spirit" she said, placing a tarot-like card down in front of herself. She handed a card to Xander who did the same thing.

"Animus...Heart"

Giles followed suit with another card that the witch passed to him.

"Sophus...Mind" he said, laying it down.

Taking a deep breath Willow laid the final card and she uttered the words;

"And Manus...the hand"

- - - - - - -

"I think I could stay here forever" Buffy sighed, her head resting on Spike's chest as they continued to sway to the music that came from the stereo. Two songs had come and gone and still they hadn't moved from each others arms. Spike didn't care so much, he loved any opportunity to be close to her and the fact she seemed so perfectly comfortable made him feel even better.

"Forever's a long time" he smiled, "but I know what you mean, pet"

The song ended and a third one came on, clearly Spike had inadvertently picked a whole station of non-stop love songs as Elvis' voice filled the room singing I Can't Help Falling In Love With You.

Buffy couldn't take much more of this. She'd known for a while now that her feelings for Spike ran deeper than maybe they should. These past two weeks, being so comfortable around him only proved to her how great things could be between them, if she would only dare to take a chance. The song was right, she'd tried to play it sensibly, but she really was falling hard for him and it wasn't fair to hide anymore.

"Spike" her voice came out much more quietly than she meant it to as she looked up at him with tears in her eyes. She should have down this sooner and not been so worried, what exactly was she afraid of anyway?

"Somethin' wrong?" he asked her when he saw the look on her face and she shook her head slightly.

"Not wrong" she promised him, "I just...tell me again, how you feel about me" she asked him and though he wasn't sure why she wanted to be told when she was usually so weird about it, he told her precisely what she meant to him.

"I love you" he declared, "you know that, I love everything about you, everything you are and everything I know you can be" he explained, "I want to fight the good fight at your side, I want us to raise this child together and be happy...I just want to be allowed to love you" he ended even more softly than he'd begun and Buffy swallowed hard.

"Why did you ask?" he said uncertainly, trying to search her face for an answer but she glanced away. When she finally looked back up at him she was smiling.

"Because I'm starting to think that..." she frowned, "that I..." she couldn't say anymore as a pain shot through her body, from her head to her feet and she staggered back.

Vaguely she heard Spike call her name as the room faded out and her surroundings spun. Pictures flashed madly behind her eyes that she shut tight. Pictures, images; the First Slayer, herself, Faith, her friends...and a monster that wanted to kill them all.

_To Be Continued..._

**A/N2 : I think I should admit that some of this was stolen straight out of the episode Primeval! Still, I hope you liked the chapter :-)**


	29. Chapter 29

A/N : Finally I finished new chapters! Real life (mainly my job) has been kicking my butt the past week or so, but thankfully I can always seem to find for a little bit of Spuffy fic. Thanx for all the reviews; uandme4eternity, Freezyboncoolipants, SinisterChic Heather Martin, Culf, spuffyfan4eva, kori hime, sPIKEaNDmE, Amandamanda3, pixiecorn, rubi-elektra, spikeswife1, theoneandonlygurl, La Diosa, Arisluv, hells child, Slayergirl1212, Lady Savage, MikiBaby, iluvglorfindel, spuffyfan-1, Cady Monroe, Screeching Dragon, Bridge, Shania Maxwell, Brittany, lilmisscookiemonster, Steph, spikespet2002, electricgurl - it's you guys that keep me and my stories going. Hope you like the new chapter though I should warn you the next one will be the last one...oh, and this chapter contains some more Primeval stealage...  
_(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)_

Chapter 29

Faith ducked down behind a large computer console as Adam's arm sprouted a mini gun and began firing at her. She'd though she was so smart snapping off that bone skewer he had but right now she'd prefer that to the bullets that flew all around.

"Come on, Red" she whispered to herself, wishing the gang's spell would kick in. Dying didn't scare her but she knew if Adam got past her it was the end for Sunnydale as it was now and for some weird reason she cared about that.

"We enjoin that we may inhabit the vessel, the hand" Willow chanted beyond the door "daughter of Sineya, first of the ones" she breathed erratically as the force of the magicks she was envoking pulsed through her, her eyes turning black as she gripped Giles and Xander's hands tighter "We implore thee, admit us, bring us to the vessel, take us now"

Suddenly a huge surge of power shot through all three of them, and Faith felt it too. She felt strong, stronger than she ever had before, and like she could do anything. She rose from her place behind the console as Adam's firing ceased. Her eyes glowed eerily orange but the hybrid was unphased.

"You can't last much longer" he scoffed.

"We can" said a voice that came from Faith's mouth but was not truly hers "We are forever" she told him, before beginning to chant in Sumerian. Bored by this now, Adam raised the gun again and fired. With a flick of her hand and further foreign words a force field appeared repelling the ammunition that few toward Faith. Then, the battle got interesting.

- - - - - - - -

"Buffy!" she heard her name being called again and finally managed to open her eyes. The electric light in the room seemed too bright as she tried to focus and found herself to be on the sofa now with Spike hovering over her, "What happened, luv?" he asked her, clearly more than a little worried. Buffy shook her head slightly, mindful of how dizzy she still felt.

"I don't know" she admitted, trying to pull herself up to sitting position, her back against the cushioned arm of the couch, "One minute I was up, the next, I wasn't" she said, trying to remember why she'd passed out like that.

"Was it to do with the baby?" Spike was still worrying, "Are you in pain or anything?"

"My heads a little woozy" she told him, as her eyes finally focused and she realised how worried he looked. She reached a hand out to his and found he was shaking, "I didn't mean to scare you, Spike" she assured him, "and it's not the baby, I don't think, nothing hurt or felt different, not really"

The vampire let out a breath he didn't need but had been holding all the same. Buffy smiled slightly as she placed his hand and hers on her stomach and the baby kicked, just to remind them it was still there and just fine.

"Don't ever worry me like that again" Spike told both Buffy and her bump, "I know you're the mighty Slayer" he continued to her only, "but that doesn't mean..."

"The Slayer" she echoed, interrupting him, her vision rushing back into her mind but now just a memory of the pictures and feelings, "Oh God Spike, they're all gonna die"

"Die?" he repeated, "Who's gonna die?"

She didn't answer, and she looked so stunned by the revelation.

"Buffy, talk to me" Spike begged, trying to get her attention back as she stared at a blank spot on the wall and tears filled her eyes.

"We have to go back to Sunnydale" she said suddenly, eyes shifting to lock onto his, "I have to save my friends" she started pushing her legs over the side of the couch to get up but he gently held her down.

"Buffy, you cannot go back there and fight" he reminded her, "Not in your condition...and how do you know they even need you"

"They're my friends, Spike" she shook her head, "and I...I don't know how I know, I just, I saw it"

"What? You had like a vision or something?" he checked, frowning at the idea, since he didn't remember anything like this happening to her before. Prophetic dreams, yes, Slayers had been having those since the dawn of time, but visions? This was new.

"You were holding me" Buffy tried to recount, "We were dancing and I was just about to tell you..." she stopped herself from making the admission, now was not the time or place, not anymore, "and then I saw it, this monster, and my friends, and Faith...and this other girl, who somehow I knew" she paused as she thought about it for a moment, "She's a part of me, Spike, she's the Slayer. The very first one"

"Why would you see all that? I don't get it" Spike shook his head as Buffy pushed herself up into her feet.

"Because I was supposed to, obviously" she said, almost yelling now, "My friends are in danger from some robo-demon beast and I'm supposed to save them!"

"Adam" Spike sighed as he took her place on the end of the couch and Buffy turned to look at him.

"What?" she asked, wondering where that name had come from and why.

"The beast you saw" he told her, "The robo-demon or whatever, they call it Adam. Your Professor at the Commando lab built this hybrid, don't rightly know what for but it revolted, it's what killed her and the Soldier Boy you used to be so fond of...before it escaped and wreaked a little havoc"

Buffy's face went through eight different expressions of horror and shock before it settled on angry.

"You knew all this and you didn't tell me?!" she exploded, arms waving emphatically. Spike jumped to his feet and stood just inches in front of her.

"Now hold on a second" he protested, "Your Scooby pals told me, and then made me swear not to tell you!" he yelled, "God, even your mother knew it was best to keep bloody quiet!"

"My mother knows?!" the Slayer shouted back, incredulously, as she flung her arm around some more. She soon stopped when the action made a muscle in her stomach pull awkwardly and it pinched a little. She lowered herself into the armchair, so confused still and Spike tried to calm himself down before he explained anymore.

"Buffy" he sighed, crouching down in front of her, "We wanted to protect you, pet, it's all any of us wanted"

"Whilst you were all protecting me" she said sadly, "no-one was protecting them...they're gonna die, Spike" she was crying again by now and he felt desperately sorry for her.

"They're stronger than you think, luv" he said more confidently than he truly felt as he reached out a hand to her cheek and wiped away a tear, "They told me they could deal with this thing, and they've got the second Slayer in to help...You have to believe they'll be okay"

Buffy swallowed hard, leaning her face into his hand.

"I know" she admitted, "I just so wish I was there to help them"

- - - - - - - -

Right now Faith felt stronger than she ever had as she channelled the essences of Willow, Xander, Giles, and the First Slayer. Adam fired a rocket from his newly adapted arm but it was no challenge for the combo-Slayer. Faith raised her hand as the rocket careened towards her, causing it to burst into three white doves, that fluttered up over her head.

With a further flick of her wrist and a few Sumerian words, Adam's gun disappeared inside his arm once again. For a moment he was too shocked to react and a moment was all Faith needed as she readied herself for his next attack. Every punch and kick he threw at her she blocked with ease.

She brought up her leg, delivering a perfect kick square in his stomach, and with enough force that the beast fell to the ground. Rushing forward she grabbed his head and wrenched it back.

"How can you...?" he tried to ask but his power was failing and Faith spoke in a combination of voices as she answered.

"You could never hope to grasp the source of our power"

She delivered a punch that sent him flying, and he landed in a heap on the opposite side of the room. In seconds she was by him again, picking him up and kicking him against the wall. In one swift move, her hand punched a hole through his chest, ripping out the uranium core than he ran on.

"But yours is right here" she announced, as Adam fell to the ground, dead.

As more Sumerian words were chanted from Faith's mouth, the uranium began to rise into the air above her hand, before disappearing altogether.

As soon as the battle was over the spell gave way, having lasted just long enough. Faith fought to stay conscious as her extra power drained from her body like the tide going out. Her eyes no longer glowed as she scrambled for the door behind which the gang waited.

With some effort she made enough noise that the gang responded, and Willow and Xander managed to shift the shelving unit away from the door to let her out.

"That was fun" the Slayer gasped for breath as she fell into the room.

"It was incredible" Willow grinned, "I mean, the feeling, like we were all really there"

"It was cool" Faith agreed, before shaking her head, "but it's not over yet. We still gotta get out of here"

"Are you sure you have the strength to fight?" Giles checked as he gathered up the magic supplies into his bag.

"Man, I always got that" Faith told him, smiling once again as she reached for the battle axe at her feet, "You guys ready?" she asked Willow and Xander who both nodded with more confidence than they felt.

"Let's rock 'n' roll"

- - - - - - - -

"I can't believe I let you talk me into this!" Spike complained as he drove his DeSoto down the highway and past the sign that stated 'You are now leaving Santa Monica'

Buffy shifted in the seat beside him, trying to get comfortable but finding it almost impossible, plus she was getting these little twinges in her stomach, she guessed they were either side effects from the vision thing or maybe just gas from the concoction of weird things she'd eaten the day before.

"They're my friends, Spike" she stated as if that were all the answer required "You know I can't let them die without trying to help!"

He gripped the steering wheel as he tried to stay calm. If he got worked up so would she and that was not good for her or their child.

"Buffy, we agreed this already" he reminded her, "I said I would take you back to Sunnydale, but you are going nowhere near any fights. Now you promised me" he said, glancing over at her before back to the road, "You said you'd stay with your mother and let me do the fighting with the gang"

"I know what I said" Buffy grumpily folded her arms over her chest and Spike rolled his eyes. Sometimes he forgot how much of a child the Slayer could really be.

There was silence for many miles, as Buffy's mind, and indeed Spike's, went into over-drive, wondering what awful things could be happening to the Scoobies and Faith. For all her sister Slayer had done, Buffy could not wish such a gruesome death on her as she knew this Adam could undoubtedly cause.

In a similar way, Spike couldn't really say he had a great liking for the Slayer's friends, well maybe the little witch was okay sometimes, but he'd rather them not all be dead when they arrived back in Sunnydale, and not just for Buffy's sake.

Without thinking he pressed his foot down just a little more firmly on the gas pedal, glad his vision was just as good in the dark as it was in the daylight, since the sun had just gone down when they left the apartment and the moon was steadily rising.

Buffy shifted in the passenger seat again and he glanced over to see what was wrong.

"You okay, luv?" he checked, wanting to pay more attention to her but also knowing the road ahead was a priority.

"It's probably nothing but..." a pain in her stomach took her breath for a second before she could continue, "I just keep getting these little kind of...aches" she told him. Spike looked suspicious but she didn't want to admit how much it was starting to hurt when it was probably nothing.

"Aches?" Spike checked, "Or pains?"

"Maybe little pains" she admitted, "But we probably don't need to panic...ow" the latter half of her last word disappeared into a shout of pain as her hand went to her stomach.

"Bloody hell, Buffy!" Spike cursed, having trouble keeping the car straight, "You've gone into labour"

"It's probably just a false alarm" she tried to convince herself as well as him, the thought of giving birth was actually what scared her most about the whole pregnancy thing, so much could go wrong.

"And it might not be" the vampire shook his head, "those dates you got from the Watcher were only estimates" he reminded her, "You never saw a doctor, but I think we need one now, luv. I'm taking you to the hospital"

"Really, Spike, it's probably just..." Buffy's sentence disappeared as she winced a little, before a strange whooshing sound occurred and a less-than-pleasant smell hit Spike's nose. He glanced over at her again and she looked a little panicked as she spoke.

"You may be right" she admitted "I think my water just broke"

To Be Continued...

A/N : Phew, almost there, just one more chapter to finish...but then comes the sequel so don't worry! Reviews on this will be very much appreciated, and if you've been reading my other WIP fic 'Who's That Guy?' I'm updating that tonight too! :-)


	30. Chapter 30

A/N : Well, it's been 30 chapters, around 90,000 words and over 900 reviews, but we've finally reached the end of 'Our Little Secret'. As some of you will know, this story was originally supposed to be 10-12 chapters and completely AU Season 4, the baby was going to be Parkers, Riley was not going to die, Faith was going to leave right after the body swap and not come back, and Joyce was not going to support her daughter. Well, it turned out a little, or a lot different in fact, but it seems that's a good thing since you all say such nice things about it!

Thanx to; kargrif, electricgurl, libraflyter, freezyboncoolipants, Moluvsnumber17, spuffyfan-1, spikeswife1, Amandamanda3, Brittany, rubi-elektra, Kim, Spuffyfan4eva, MikiBaby, Carol, Cady Monroe, Screeching Dragon, Lady Savage, Shania Maxwell, Eurika, Slayergirl1212, Bridge, MaidenRo, Digital Damita, Zanet, SSWBA, le faye storyteller, wigi, theoneandonlygurl, katie, Jem, Chanida, Kari Mouke, dawn2004, for the reviews on the previous chapter, and to everyone who has reveiwed any or all of the chapters from one onwards. I've loved writing this but it's time to say, here endeth the story...

_(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)  
  
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Chapter 30

Faith and the Scoobies were making a valiant effort to escape the Initiative. Adam had been defeated but a war raged on beneath the college, with many casualties on both the demon and human sides. As awful as it was to know they were leaving so many behind to suffer and die, the gang could not worry too much about it. Their priority was getting themselves out of there and they were so close now, just one more corridor and they would be back in the room they'd started from, and the plan was for Willow to activate there nearest exit on a timed system so it'd close and lock behind them before anyone or anything could follow them out.

The problem was two rather nasty demons were taking down four soldiers with ease right by the door they needed entrance to. They waited around the corner, glancing out every so often to see what was happening.

"I think I can take them out but, element of surprise would be kinda crucial" Faith told the other three.

"You need them distracted?" Xander checked he understood and the Slayer nodded, "One distraction, coming up" he said and before anyone could react he bolted around the corner, waving a piece of broken pipe he'd been using for a weapon before.

"Stupid son of a..." Faith cursed at his stupidity, though she wondered at how brave he was too. Just an ordinary boy throwing himself into all kinds of danger and for what? Because he knew it was right.

As the Slayer followed on into battle, Giles and Willow fell in behind to back her up. The first demon was soon dead, the battle axe slicing it's head clean in two as the second monster was still busy dealing with the diversion, aka Xander. Willow shrieked in panic when she noticed the demon, which was a good two feet taller than any of them, lift her friend clean off the ground by his throat. Faith literally leapt into action, using the dead body of the first demon as a step up to head height of the other. She swung the axe at his head, but the large beast moved and the blade got embedded in it's shoulder.

"Faith!" Giles yelled below her, throwing a sword upward. She caught it with ease, still balancing on the carcass of the demon's ally. She took a well-timed swing, completely decapitating the beast. Xander fell to the floor and Willow ran to him as Faith climbed down and followed. He was unconscious but breathing and that was something to be thankful for.

"Get that exit open" the Slayer told Willow, gesturing towards the door to the room that held the computer systems they needed, "I'll bring Xander"

For a moment the witch was unsure but decided it was for the best. Giles covered her as they ran into the room and she frantically hit at the keys of the computer. Faith got Xander in a fireman's lift and followed, finding the run to the exit after that was a little much for even her.

"We have just two minutes left until it locks behind us" Giles informed them as he got the three younger people through the door and up onto the stairs. It was awkward with Xander unable to help and the important bag of magic supplies and weapons also to be transported. The Watcher scrambled through the door a moment before it closed and bolted itself shut again, the heavy steel muffling the pained cries and shouts within.

"We did it" Willow said breathlessly as they paused for a moment on the staircase. The three looked at each other and their unconscious friend in wonder - they really had managed to pull it off, and without Buffy.

- - - - - - -

"The hospital's in the opposite direction to Sunnydale!" Buffy complained as Spike told her to hold on because he was going to get her there, "We'll never make it!"

"We don't have a choice, luv" he told her, trying to stay calm but finding it almost impossible, "What other option is there? You can't give birth in the car"

Buffy's only response was to scream as the pain of another contraction shot through her. It had gotten much worse since her water broke and she knew that despite all the books she read telling her labour could take many hours, this kid was eager to be out in the world.

Spike wanted to scream himself only his would be out of pure frustration. He wanted to help her, but he didn't know where to begin. Pregnant women these days belonged in hospitals, with doctors and nurses and medical facilities. Back in the day when he was human it was true that many children were born quite healthily in the mother's own home with just a doctor and a maid present and no pain-killing drugs or sterilised instruments, but there was a lot of death back then too. Both mothers and babies perished through people's ignorance or lack of resources, he couldn't stand anything like that happening to Buffy or their child.

As the Slayer let out another cry of pain, Spike almost crushed the steering wheel, his grip was so tight on it. These contractions were getting longer and closer together much quicker than they could have anticipated. Whilst there was the upside that the labour should be shorter and therefore contain less pain in total, it meant there was no chance of making it to the hospital on time.

"Buffy, luv, I think you're right" he said worriedly, "Even pushing the car to the max and breaking every speed limit from here on out, I don't think we're gonna make it to the hospital before..."

The rest of his sentence was drowned out by another painful cry and he couldn't take it anymore. Whilst he was driving he was useless to her, unable to give her very much of his attention at all. He was going to have to pull over, get her into the back seat if he could and work out how one was supposed to deliver a baby! There was no-one else to do it after all.

- - - - - - -

"Take small sips" Willow told Xander as she sat down beside him on Giles' couch and handed her friend a glass of water. His throat was very sore, made evident by the bruising all around his neck. Still, both he and his friends were very well aware it could've been so much worse if that demon hadn't have let go of him when it did, and that was all thanks to Faith.

"Hey, buddy" the same brunette half-smiled as she perched herself on the arm of the sofa beside Xander, "You feelin' better?" she'd hidden in the bathroom from when they'd arrived until now. She felt completely wiped after the battle, terribly sick ever since that spell ended, and strangely disappointed to know that this was it. Buffy would be back soon, and despite the fact she'd been the one to help defeat the big bad, the one that saved Xander's life, it didn't really make a different. Everyone would still se her as the bitch she really was, or so she thought.

"Better" Xander croaked out his reply to her question, a slight nod accompanying the sound, "Not dead" he smiled and she nodded back at him. It was true, if the demon had tightened it's grip, Xander could either have choked to death, or been killed instantly if his neck snapped.

"Thankyou" he said solemnly, looking up into Faith's eyes.

"Hey, it's all part of the job" she shrugged, trying to make light of it. she made to get off the couch but Xander grabbed her hand, "Really, thankyou" he repeated in a hoarse voice, wanting to say so much more but unable to right now. Faith nodded once again, lost for words for one of the first times in her life. She never did anything to gain real gratitude from a person. She'd saved lives, sure, but never on such a personal level, never someone she, and here was the really weird part, someone she cared about. Spending so much time with the Scoobies had certainly changed her. Without Buffy around she was depended on and needed, and she was happy in her role. She decided to make the most of these friends she'd managed to acquire, because when the real Slayer returned to Sunnydale there would be no place for her.

"Indeed Faith, you did a splendid job in defeating Adam and in saving Xander" Giles told her as he polished his glasses and she kept her eyes averted from everyone. She hadn't cried in years, not counting that little moment in LA with Angel, but no-one really knew about that except him, her, and Wes. People being kind to her seemed to upset her more than abuse - that she'd learnt to deal with at least.

"Yeah Faith, you did real good" Willow agreed, standing up and walking over to her, "I know we never got along. I'm too smart for you and you're too skanky for me" she smiled to show she was at least half-joking, "but I think we've both kinda changed since the whole killing thing and I'm not saying I wanna be your best friend but...non-enemies at least?" she tried holding a hand.

Faith eyed it suspiciously before taking hold of it and shaking on the obscure deal.

"Sounds good" she nodded once, keeping words to a minimum in case her voice cracked. A moment later she swallowed hard and Willow went to sit with Xander again, the emotional moment over.

"Er, Giles, you got anything I can eat?" Faith asked, turning to the Watcher, "I dunno about you guys but I am starved" she announced, beginning to rifle through Giles' kitchen cupboards.

"I must confess I could quite happily partake of a cup of tea" he told her as he pulled himself up from the armchair and joined her, leaving Willow and Xander alone.

"You too, huh?" he croaked, sipping at his water some more straight after.

"What?" Willow didn't understand.

"Buffy" was all he need to say and his friend nodded.

"Yeah, I just can't help wondering what's happening with her" the red-head sighed, "Wherever she is, I hope she's happy right now"

- - - - - - -

"Oh my...!" Buffy screamed as another contraction ripped through her body, "I swear to God this baby is trying to kill me" she declared a minute or so later when the pain subsided and Spike leapt from the car, running round to the other side. He opened the passenger door and carefully tried to get Buffy out without causing her any more pain or making her anymore uncomfortable than was necessary. He'd explained to her before, it would be easier if she were in the back of the car, that way she could spread out and hopefully he would be able to help get their child out of her. Spike had to admit this was not quite how he'd imagined his next visit to the space between the Slayers legs but to see his child come into the world, it was worth it.

Buffy was just so glad she'd worn a skirt today and not her maternity pants, it would only have made things more complicated in the long run. As it was her skirt meant much less awkward manoeuvring was needed and she was soon propped up along the back seat of Spike's car, with the vampire at the end, checking what was going on down there. If she were not too busy concentrating on breathing and battling against pain, the kind of which she'd never experienced before, she would probably be highly embarrassed or possibly calling Spike a pervert by now.

"Oh God" she groaned, "Dying was easier than this"

Spike had to smile at that one. His own passing hadn't really been so much unbearable suffering as it had been a thrilling sort of rush, but this was no time for reminiscing he realised as Buffy seemed to be constantly yelling about the pain and he glanced down, only to realise there was a small child's head visibly emerging from the woman he loved!

"Bloody hell" he cursed, before realising he had to try to help somehow, "Er, Buffy, luv, I'm no expert, but I think this is the part where you start pushing, pet"

"I don't think I can" she said, finding breathing to be hard work even when the agonising contractions weren't trying to cut her in half.

"No choice, sweetheart" Spike shook his head, though she couldn't see that, "This kid wants out and, much like it's father, lack of patience is a factor" he told her with a smirk, his hand rubbing her ankle, trying to comfort her somehow.

A further shout erupted as the next contraction hit and for once doing as she was told Buffy pushed as hard as she could. The exertion was so much that when the pain finally subsided a minute later she fell back against the seats and cried.

"Spike, you bastard!" she yelled, "How could you do this to me?!"

Far from being angered by her words, he just rolled his eyes. Trust the woman to find a way to make all this his fault.

"Will Be Done spell, remember?" he muttered mostly to himself, "Weren't exactly fighting me off either..."

"I think I have to push again" the Slayer realised as the pain started again, Spike immediately snapped back to the task in hand.

For almost half an hour the Buffy attempted to push her child out into the world and Spike did his best to encourage and help her. He found the sight and smell of blood did nothing for him in this instance, he was just so thrilled to be there, watching his baby come into the world, the whole time willing the Powers That Be to let both his woman and his baby be okay.

He knew it was ridiculous but every time Buffy screamed he could hear his mother doing the same over a century ago. Her labour went on for hours and all to no good end since the baby was lost after just a few hours. Spike was determined not to lose his own child.

"Come on, Buffy" he urged her, "Just one more push, I think the job's done"

"I can't" she whined, suddenly wondering how she ever had the strength to do anything. She was supposed to be the Slayer with incredible stamina and endurance, but this was like nothing she'd ever been through before and if she didn't know better she'd think it was trying to kill her.

"Slayer...Buffy, I know you can do this" Spike told her much more calmly than he felt, "You are the strongest woman I have ever met, and you can do anything, luv. I believe that and you need to believe it too" when she gave no response he added one final thing, "and I love you" he reminded her.

Closing her eyes and concentrating hard, Buffy waited for the next contraction and pushed as if her life depended on it. The final effort was just what was needed as the baby slipped out and into Spike's waiting arms.

As Buffy collapsed back onto the seat in exhaustion, the baby made it's presence known, mouth wide open with enough high pitched squealing coming out to deafen the average person. Spike couldn't help the grin that covered his face. Here was his child, his daughter it seemed.

"Buffy" he said, completey stunned by what he'd just experienced, "We've got a little girl" he told her as he grabbed his previously discarded red shirt, wiped the baby off and wrapped her up in the material.

A few moments later, Spike managed to get himself into the car, sitting along the floor by the backseat where Buffy lay, the baby in his arms.

"Hey, little pet" he said to the now quiet child, "Say hello to Mummy"

"Oh God" Buffy gasped, tears streaming down her face as she managed to pull herself up a little and take the baby from Spike, "She's beautiful"

"Course she is" he agreed with a smile that wouldn't shift, "She looks just like her mother"

Their eyes met briefly before they both turned their attention back to their tiny daughter.

"With those eyes there's no mistaking who her Daddy is" the Slayer commented as the little girl's bright blue orbs shone up at her, "She's so perfect" she added breathlessly almost unable to believe she and Spike had created this wonderful, tiny, fragile little person.

"She can't just be called she, pet" the vampire frowned slightly, "S'not right for such a special little one to not have a name"

Buffy smiled as she looked over at him, she'd had an idea a few days ago but hadn't dared ask yet, now seemed like the perfect time.

"I was thinking maybe Rebecca Joyce Summers-Blackwell" she suggested, watching his face carefully for some kind of reaction. He looked at her wide-eyed for a moment, completely speechless for he first time in a long time. Eventually his voice cracked slightly as he answered.

"I think it's perfect" he told her, looking down at the newly named Rebecca, "But I have to ask why?" he said, not wanting to ruin this moment but really needing the truth here, "Why would my sister matter to you?"

"Because you matter to me" she told him, immediately gaining his attention as his eyes locked onto hers, "Spike, I was about to tell you before" she confessed, "I love you"

For a second the vampire could not believe it was all real. This night, this woman, his own child, and the love he felt. Careful not to crush the baby, he leaned over and put his lips to Buffy, kissing her tenderly.

"Y'know as crazy as it is" he whispered not far from her ear, "I don't even care that you probably don't mean that" he told her, before kissing her again. When they pulled apart for a second time, and Spike took another moment to marvel at the sight of his daughter. Buffy was close to tears. After all she'd put him through, she did sort of deserve for Spike not to believe her, but she really did love him so much, she just had to prove it.

Cradling the baby carefully against her chest with one arm for just a second, she reached the fingers of her left hand up to her throat and pulled the chain that rested around her neck, til her pendant was visible. Spike wondered what she was doing until he realised it wasn't a pendant she was wearing at all.

"My ring?" at least that's what he thought it seemed to be. It hadn't occurred to him before but when he'd proposed marriage under that spell and slipped his silver skull ring onto Buffy's finger, even when the magicks had ceased their hold he'd never gotten his ring back.

Buffy could only nod he was correct as more tears sprang from her eyes. She'd not had it in her to throw the ring away, even after the spell was over. It seemed like such a waste of jewellery, even if it wasn't the prettiest piece in the world. It had resided in her trinket box for weeks and when she travelled to Santa Monica it had gone with her, still in that box. Later when she and Spike had started getting closer she'd threaded it on her favourite chain and fastened it round her neck, grateful that in some small way he'd always be with her.

"I wanted it close to my heart" she whispered, fatigue and emotion over coming her, "because that's where you are, Spike...I don't know how we're going to make it work, but we have to try" she told him, glancing between his face and their baby "I love you, and I love our little girl. We can do this, I know we can"

"I'm not going anywhere, pet" he smiled first pressing his lips to hers and then gently to Rebecca's head "You just said everything I ever wanted to hear"

--The End--

A/N2 : If any of the giving birth stuff was innaccurate then I apologise, but I never had a baby and you only learn so much from skim reading a web-page on the subject...

Although there will be a sequel to this fic it won't be immediate, so please don't expect to see it tomorrow or anything. I have to figure out some ideas before I start and see if it looks like it's going to work before I start posting anyway.

In the meantime, I really hope you liked the ending to this, my longest and most popular story ever! I thank you all so much for your support of this fic and hope you will all leave a final review for me.

Keep the Spuffy love alive gang, and if you're reading my other WIP, look out for the final chapter very soon!


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